Yeah, that's correct. I am the UNLUCKIEST “LUCKIEST” OLD FART ya don't know, yet. I haven't won a thing since I was about seven years old. It was one of those fake orange plastic jack-o-lanterns full of candy. I thought I had won the jackpot. Now after about 46 years later I actually win something outrageous.
Pop a cold brew and lemme tell ya about it.I traded my Fatboy a couple of years ago for an '07 black Street Glide. I had a lot of Harleys. All were bought used. This '07 Street glide was the first baby-ass-spankin-new bike I ever had. Man, it was gorgeous. Well, except for those stock pipes. The factory makes some nice pipes. Exactly just that “Nice” pipes. No bad ass anywhere.
The pipes had to go, so I looked around and saw a lot of NICE bagger pipes from all of the common well known brands. I’ve had bikes with everything from TT pipes to, straight shots to home made to V&H, etc.
I saw the Streetwalker brand pipes for custom bikes and wanted some but I hadn’t seen any that were made for my bagger that fit the bill. I was saving pennies to buy a common, high-quality brand name set of two into one chrome pipes.
Well, then that evil and uncaring bitch named “Fate” intervened. An idiot ran a stop sign in the middle of the day on Labor Day, and I hit the right rear corner of his Expedition. I peeled myself off of the pavement leaving blood and a small piece of arm bone on the pavement. My Street Glide was toast. Frame, front end, wheels, fenders and bags were all history. Only the engine and tranny were still good.
I sent the wrecked bagger to Laredo H-D for repair. I am Ford tough, so I started healing. A couple months later, Laredo H-D made me an offer, 15K for my toasted bagger. (I had alotta equity). It would take several months before they could fix my wrecked bike, and I didn’t want the wrecked one back. I traded it in for an '09 black Street Glide. I couldn’t even ride it home cuz of the injuries. I hadn’t recovered enough to ride yet. They delivered it to my home at night. I then sat down at the computer and logged onto www.BIKERNET.com
Well there was a STREETWALKER Advertisement logo that announced a BIKERNET / BAGPIPES CHRISTMAS GIVEAWAY. And then TAH DAH!!! It was one of those moments that said, “Here it is,” and all I had to do was send a picture of my bike. CAKE! RIGHT?
So Einstein here went out the next morning and took a picture of the shiny new '09 SG for the contest. Not even a bug on it yet 'cuz I couldn’t even ride it. I sent it to Bandit. He sends me back a note tactfully saying to me, and all of the other Einsteins who sent in pictures of their bikes, that I am an idiot and to put a girl on the bike and then send the picture back to him. He didn’t care who the broad was as long as it was a female. I thought about this local bag lady I see all the time in Laredo, but I thought I better not. He might fall in love with her.
Then I thought, “Well hell! I guess I better hire a model or a hooker.”
I took a few more pain killers and a shot of Crown. I started watching an old Angel flick with a lotta cool old chops. Then the Crown hit me and I thought, “I’ll dress up my girlfriend in one of those Santa’s sexy helper outfits.” It is a Christmas giveaway right? Next day I went to the mall in Corpus Christi, Texas and found a sexy little Santa’s helper outfit. Paid forty clams for it.
That night I told my girlfriend, Lupita of my newly hatched plan, and she didn’t buy it. A few days later I got her to drink a few of those margaritas in a bottle and then she was convinced that she was the one to put on the outfit for me, for the contest, for Bandit and for the good ol’ U.S. of A!
By God! It was the American way and what makes the good ol’ USA the best country in da world !!!! It was a cold December night, but the margaritas did the trick. Damn! She looked hot. I got her to pose for me in my garage on my Street Glide. She came out great. The following week on December the 18th Bandit put her picture on the Bikernet News top of page one. (Hey Bandit, I didn’t send ya the best pictures).
Well, I received an email from Bandit after Christmas and another from Terry at STREETWALKER EXHAUST congratulating me on winning the Bagpipes. Terry let me select my choice. I selected the style I wanted and waited.
A couple of weeks later I got a huge brown box. The shipping container was over 5.5 feet long. Looked big enough to bury someone in. I opened it and found each component wrapped in heavy duty bubble wrap. Then each component was encased in a large airtight tube of plastic that was inflated with air. I mean if a Mack truck had driven over that box, the pipes and muffler and heat shields would have had a real good chance of surviving. I unwrapped them carefully, and I ain't no show judge, but the pipes were just more outstanding than I thought they would be. The clear and obvious workmanship is to the level of being art.
I work a lot of hours, and I finally got off my dead, scarred and healing ass and started on the pipe change, Thursday, March 12. Put my bike up on the stand. Then I started taking off all the company pipes, mufflers and hardware. They all came off very easily. I took off the factory exhaust port gaskets with a pick. It was so simple I had to stop many times to make sure the beer didn’t get warm.
Then my pal Tony came by with a case of cold brews. My little son Omar came by and was enthralled with this process. He asked great questions and handed me a few tools. Then, while I was switching tools and working, a cold front with rain rolled in.
Did I mention it hasn’t rained in this part of south-hell-hole Texas since August. Then Lupita arrived with moral support and kept the beer cans fresh and cold in our hands.
I used a ¾ open end wrench to take off the O2 sensors. They came off easy. Jeez! Maybe I can be a pipe installer in my next life. I always did want to live in Arizona. I mocked up the front pipe and the rear and it looked beautiful just like that, without a muffler. Thought about it, but figured that ya need some back pressure so I better install the complete system. I got a fresh tube of Permatex anti seize and carefully put it on the O2 sensor threads. I remember reading in one of those tech stories on BIKERNET that you have to be careful not to let any get on the sensor. Ya do learn a lot from BIKERNET ya know.
I then adjusted the front pipe and slid it into the rear pipe receiving end. (sounds nasty don’t it?) I finger tightened all four header port exhaust nuts. I filly farted around with them until I was happy as I could be with the loose fitting mock up. I was a little worried about the flange not fitting since the O.E. type was beveled but when I did the final fit they worked into the port just right.
I hooked up the muffler leaving the aircraft aluminum type chrome clamp real loose. It came with the pipes. I kept checking each of the contact points and kept checking and re-checking. Now it had been about eight or nine beers with my pal Tony, Edward the elk, Lupita and my son looking on. I decided to not tighten anything until the next day with clear eyes and brain. Plus it was getting colder and still raining.
Time to start sobering up. Next day arrived and finally crawled outta bed. Had a beer with breakfast and went to my back garage. I started to tighten each bolt about one turn and checked each time for binding. I found that the lower plastic factory air cleaner base was touching the heat shield so I took off the air cleaner and did what any self-righteous guy with tools would do. I trimmed the factory-designed plastic off. Didn’t need it anyway. I then put the air cleaner cover back on and went back to checking and re-checking. Call it paranoid or no self- competence, but I was still checking and re-checking. I finished tightening everything up.
Time for the moment. I hit the switch and I almost wet myself and came at the same time. Jeez it was a beautiful thang. They are loud in a wanna make your heart jump, but not so loud as to scare small children, animals and elderly virgins. THIS! Is the defining look and sound I wanted.
The bracket for the collector that runs next to the transmission bracket does not match up, but I don’t care. I guess I’ll jerry rig one in the next few days.
The bike looks awesome. The BAGPIPES completely changed the whole look of the bike for the better. A huge difference. The chrome quality is deep and immaculately perfect.I guess now I’ll have ta save up for the trans cover Terry makes.
Any of you out there thinking of buying a set of BAGGER custom pipes need to check out Terry’s BAGPIPES at http://www.streetwalkerexhaust.com/
I also have to kiss my girlfriend’s ass for helping me win these outrageous pipes. But I have already done that many times. RIGHT Lupita??????
I had promised my son a trip to Arizona, so I took him. I told Bandit that I would finish this off once I got back from climbing a mountain with my boy. So when I returned from Aridzona, I took my bike out for a trip to my parent’s, Saturday, March 21. It’s a little over 300 miles round trip. Stopped to gas up at Falfurrias, Texas. Five other riders rode up to gas up as I arrived. Had two guys ask where I got the pipes and what brand they were. Gave them the Streetwalker name. (Do I get any referral money Terry?) Went on to my parents and rode back.
The heat off the “Y” pipe portion was hot but the looks more than made up for it. The only time it got a little hot was when I had to wait in a helluva long line at the Highway 281 Falfurrias Border Patrol Checkpoint. Again I stopped in Falfurrias for some cold water and a couple of guys approached me and asked me where I got the pipes and what brand they were. Sounds like the sound of “KA-CHING!” for Streetwalker pipes. Had to do a small burn out as I left the convenience store.
Overall the pipes are outrageous. The chrome is awesome. Words can’t describe the workmanship. I noticed some more top end power when I rolled on the throttle in sixth gear. I have not had any backfiring or any kind of problems. I guess I won’t worry about a re-map.
If ya have a bagger and want the best pipes made for it that are awesome, get in touch with Terry at Streetwalker Pipes.So now ya know why I am UNLUCKIEST LUCKIEST OLD FART.
