Keep your Eyes on the Road and Hands on the Wheel

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It was a small house, even had a chimney, cost me $35. I wanted to kick it's resident's ass. Bruno, the name sure sounds tough, but any wimp could have him running for cover. That's my German shepherd pet, and he was in his single room home hiding his face in his fairly strong paws. He could wrestle my knee-length boots but when someone steals his master's dearest material possession he just goes into deep slumber, probably dreaming of cats made out of chocolate. Maybe it's high time I stop feeding him candy. He is hairy, overweight and just lost his job, a reflection of his owner.

The robbers got away with my 2003 Anniversary Harley. I was too drunk to notice the truck and now traced its tracks right up to my garage door. The pub I worked in as a bouncer let me go now that the parties were over. I walked the dog over to 'May's Café' and sat under the warm sun for breakfast. My pal Jake joined me. He sat behind a bunch of cops. He always materialized from the blue.

“You looking for another job or taking the ride to Sturgis?” he asked.

“You know the worst hangover where you wake up and can't remember anything from the time before the waking up?” I asked back.

“Yup, been there done that.” he replied scratching his bearded face.

“Well I awoke to find my Ride had been stolen overnight.” I informed casually.

“Well must have been some night. You always do that when you lose a job. F*** the job; we are not 9 to 5 kind of people. Wake up and drink your Coffee, it's getting cold.” Jake pointed to my breakfast.

I was so lost in my misery I hadn't noticed the grub left by the waiter.

“So you wanna tell the Boys in Blue?” Jake gestured at the cops sitting in front of me.

“They are probably glad one more of us, is off the road.” I answered going into my self-pity mode.

“You are getting old, I say we get Coleman and track those sons-of-bitches.” Jake roared.

Coleman was an ex-cop and used to be on patrol on a scooter he still held on to after retirement. He was the only cop who was remotely human to us bikers. I left a tenner on the table and walked out with Jake and Bruno who had lost his appetite just like me. We reached Coleman's door, a couple of blocks from the Café and found him talking to his rose garden.

“You think he's missing a nut or two?” Jake whispered into my ear with his awful morning breath.

“It's supposed to help the plants grow.” I replied not believing it myself.

Coleman lifted his white furry brows and smiled, “Good Morning boys!”

“Morning Sir, we need your help. Can't expect any from your tribe.” I said as I walked up to his flowerbed.

“Yeah, the kind of trouble you create for yourself; who crashed into your merry ride?” he asked standing up slowly with his palms on his knees.

“Well I have an Anniversary Harley with custom jobs not permitted in this county and it was stolen last night. Must be after 3 am cause that was when I rode it home.” I told Coleman showing him the Bike papers in my wallet.Coleman looked at his watch; it was 10:30 am.He signed us to get into his pickup truck and himself got into the driver's seat in his orange pajamas.

We drove to my place and he parked outside my fence. He asked us to stay away from the garage door and looked around the concrete floor for clues. He touched a tiny surface near the garage door and called Bruno to sniff around. I didn't have much hopes for the dog or his ex-cop-ringmaster. Sure enough instead of sniffing the area, Bruno licked Coleman’s right hand. He almost seemed to have gotten over my loss of faith in him.

“Good-Boy Bruno!” encouraged Coleman as he tickled Bruno under the chin.

“Your ride has been stolen by two guys working at Tony's Steak House.

We will need to call the cops on them but after we get your ride.” said Coleman looking at our dumbfounded faces.

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The Ford pickup raced out into the street with impish Bruno and confused but eager Jake & me. We reached Tony's and Coleman drove to the freight area. The three of us walked into the warehouse with no one stopping our man Coleman leading us to the light. The light was from fluorescent bulbs switched on even during the day. Coleman approached the Supervisor and asked “Who was on duty delivering to Milano's in the morning shift?”

“Good Mornin' Coleman! I usually have one guy delivering the meat but today Joe said he needed help with the extra deliveries downtown. So I sent Big Al with him.” answered Smith the Supervisor.

“Show me the truck they took.” said Coleman confidently.

“It's their truck but I have the keys. They said they needed my car for business in the city.” said Smith taking us towards the truck. He opened the huge metal door at the back and voila the Beauty shines Bright. The Hog glistened in the surrounding ice in the truck.

“How did you figure it out, you ol' wiz?” queried Jake as he mowed his beard with his black nails.

“It was simple, there were traces of meat near the garage door and I figured it was an ice truck. Bruno confirmed it was from a meat packing plant when he licked my palm clean. I know from my drinking buddies at Milano Restaurant that they buy 'Texas Steaks' supplied in town exclusively by Tony's Steak House. So I also figured the blokes stopped by your place on their way to a delivery and since Milano's is the only restaurant in a five-block radius of your home the thieves were obviously employed at Tony's. There were two of them because you can't back up a truck and load a bike that big through your fence without help from another person.” Enlightened Coleman moved back towards the Supervisor's desk.

“Get your ride out of here; I think these blokes are also responsible for the robbery at the furniture store three blocks away from your place last week. I am calling 'my tribe' to move in.” ordered Coleman remembering my reference to his badge-wielding buddies.

I got the Hog down from the truck with Jake's help and the Supervisor walked behind the brilliant pajamas. I wiped the seat and with the choke on the Hog grunted in affirmation in a single fluid fire. We decided to thank Coleman at his favorite joint Milano's that evening and Jake took charge of getting Bruno home who was more than happy to sniff around the Steak House all day.

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After the 'Thank You Dinner', Coleman decided he would ride with us this year to Sturgis just so he could see my Ride win in 'Street Custom' category. “Let it Roll, Baby Roll” roared Jim Morrison on the Jukebox.

—- The End —-

Copyright Ujjwal Dey 2005

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