Larry’s Yella Asshammer

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My third cup of Saturday mornin’ coffee had yet to eat its waythrough my stomach lining when I rolled out in search of Larry Beintker andhis notorious Evo chopper. I’d seen this incredible scoot at the FresnoAutorama, but didn’t get to talk with Larry about the beast. Now was mychance to see it off the rotating platform, and away from the garish neonlights, and to find out a bit about what makes it tick.

First, I learned a bit about Larry from a mutual friend; Bobby Z.,of Final Finishes metal polishing. Seems that Larry’s been buildin’beautiful scooters for years but managed to stay outa the spotlight, unlikesome of his ol’ drinkin’ buddies like Arlen Ness. Larry has some storiesabout the wild times of the ‘sixties and ‘seventies, when he, Arlen, and afew others were buildin’ those radical block-long choppers, an’ partyin’like there was no tomorrow. That’s fodder for another wild tale. Right now,let’s take a look at this yella man-eater!

When I got to Larry’s shop, he’d already rolled the scooter out, andwiped it down. We decided on a place for some pictures, and it was time tomove out. He thumbed the starter button, and when that monster lit, it madethe hair on my ass stand straight up like a bristle- brush! Damn! What abeautiful soundin’ sumbitch! You could feel the horsepower rumble up throughyour feet when he twisted the wick. My ol’ amigo “High Speed” Howard Lacydid the final tuning and setup, and believe me, he’s the best in thebusiness! Hell, his lawn mower runs in the low 9s!

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While it warmed up, I looked it over like Bill Clinton interviewin’a new intern.Larry had already told me that he was responsible for the wild paint, withits narrow scallops, and bright accents. It began dark at the bottom of theC.M.C. frame, and faded as it moved up, for a shadow effect that playstricks on your eyes. The slippery lines of the fuel tank, made byIndependent, out of Vegas, make the graphics look like they may slide rightoff at any second. I think it’s only the eye-poppin’ stripes laid on by Dale”Sogy” Oftedal that keep ’em in place.

The wide rear fender is a Jesse James product, and it blends into the flow of thescoot without any supports to get in the way. It’s a real elegant way tokeep mud offa your T-shirt.

The 88 inch Evo engine has S&S cases, and Screamin’ Eagle heads, ported andmassaged by Leo at Direct Parts in Vegas. The trick heads breathe throughCustom Chrome shorty straights for an eardrum shatterin’ bark.An S&S “shorty” feeds the thirsty mill, and the horses are transferred by a3″ Primo open belt primary to a Rev Tech 5 speed tranny.The wheels are from Custom Chrome, and the tires from Avon, although therear looks like it could’ve come off a 747.

Watchin’ this man-eater rippin’ down the street, it occurred to me that whenyou’ve got the kind of “giddy-up” this thing has, you damn sure need a lotta”whoa” too, so the stoppin’ power is handled by Performance Machinecalipers, master cylinders, and rotors.

The classy front end is made by Sullivan, and the clean lines will have yatakin’ a second look, and maybe a third. This thing’s first class eye-candyfrom end to end!

Joker Machine made the forward controls, and they’re damn near too pretty toput yer nasty ol’ feet on, but Larry built this scoot to ride, and ride hedoes! Of course, the polishin’ of all those glistenin’ parts was handled byfriend, and fellow biker Bobby Z, of Final Finishes. Who else?Speakin’ of ridin’, that’s where comfort comes in. Larry hand made the seatto fit the lines of the bike as well as his ass, and the upholstery choreswere handled by none other than Leon Hatcher. There’s enough paddin’ to takethe sting outa this high-torque asshammer, but not enough to make ya forgetwhat kinda machine you’re ridin. And after all, this ain’t no F’in RoadKing, it’s a hot-rod for the serious adrenaline junky only!

By the way, if this scoot really talks to ya, Larry says it’s for sale. Hisnext project is already under way, and there’s no time like the present tostart on the future. If you’re seriously interested, drop Bandit a line, andhe’ll give ya my e-mail address, but first, I’ll answer a couple ofquestions I know you’ll have.

1: YES, IT GOES FAST!
2: NO, YA CAN’T RIDE IT TILL YA BUY IT.
3: NO, HE WON’T TAKE YOUR SPORTY IN TRADE.
4: YES, WOMEN WILL EVEN LOVE YOU IF YOU’RE RIDIN’ IT.

So take a few minutes, look over the pictures, think about what it’d be likeridin around on this beauty, then sneak the ol’ lady’s weddin’ ring down tothe pawn shop, an’ go for it!

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