LAS VEGAS BIKEFEST TAKES OVER SIN CITY

We held off reporting on Las Vegas Bike fest because of the code. You know, “What happens in Vegas, stays there.” So how the hell do you report on the biggest bike event in Vegas and leave sleeping dogs lie? Or do dogs lie? Fuck, who takes a dog to Vegas… It all started out the first night we rode into Vegas, settled in at an un-named hotel and met a couple of girls for a 4-some.

I can't mention names, but I ended up with a gorgeous redhead, a buxom sandy blonde and my faithful brunette for the… I better not go there. Leave it in Vegas right? Maybe the only safe bet is to run with the report from the BikeFest committee:

When the eighth annual Las Vegas BikeFest cruised into downtown Las Vegas October 2-5, 2008, more than 30,000 motorcycle enthusiasts from all over the world enjoyed four days of all things related to the exciting world of custom motorcycles.

Approximately 300 vendors showcased the latest in parts, accessories and apparel, but the highlight of the event was the Artistry in Iron competition where custom builders compete for the coveted title of Master Builder in an exciting biker build-off competition.

“Las Vegas BikeFest returned once again, showcasing the most innovative and cutting edge aspects of bike building,” said Harry Schwarz, president of Full Throttle Events, one of Las Vegas BikeFest’s partners. “There are only a few places where you can immerse yourself in the excitement and uniqueness of this culture. Las Vegas BikeFest is one of them, which makes it the coolest place to be in the desert. ”

Artistry in Iron, the peer-judged, invitation-only custom bike building competition, featured some of the most innovative custom bike building BikeFest has seen yet. With 20 builders gathering from all corners of the U.S. and Canada, the competition was steeper than it has ever been.

As expected, the bike builders rose to the challenge, creating some of the most unique and creative bikes seen yet.

Roger Goldammer of Goldammer Cycle Works Ltd. in British Columbia took home the top prize. Along with winning $20,000, Goldammer took home the respect of his peers who voted his bike into the winners circle, beating out 19 hand-picked bike builders, including Kris Krome, Kirk Taylor, Jim Nasi and Satya Kraus, among others.

For 2009, Stay in Primm and party in Vegas! Click for more information.

Attendees also enjoyed the Las Vegas BikeFest Concert Series featuring some of the hottest music acts around including Santana and Cherry Poppin’ Daddies, Harley-Davidson demo rides, the always unpredictable Mr. and Miss BikeFest Competition, a $100,000 Poker Run, World’s Strongest Biker Competition and a wet-and-wild Bikini Contest.

“Plans for the 2009 Las Vegas BikeFest are already in the works, with the dates for the event set for October 1-4,” announced Schwartz.

Okay, so there you have the official public report. Saturday I slept until way into the afternoon, showered and started gambling. I took a break to have lunch at the Harley-Davidson Café, and then hit the tables again until it was pre-dinner nap time.

After dinner at some swanky unmentionable restaurant with a girl I wasn't ever suppose to see again, we were almost spotted and she split, but left me a number and told me to meet her later at this club near the Hard Rock Café and Casino. I kept pondering the Las Vegas BikeFest Show judging the next morning. I had to sleep, sorta.

I can't tell you the name, but this joint was incredible. It was packed with some of the best looking women in the world and they all wanted to take their clothes off. It was dark, sultry and slinky as I grabbed a Jack on the rocks and made my way through the crowd.

You woulda thought I died and went to heaven. Every girl wanted to talk to me, show me enough cleavage to melt a cannon and get me a drink. One voluptuous brunette caught my eye and since I was an hour early for my clandestine meeting I was lured into her web.

“Can I get you anything,” she asked as if we just arrived in our honeymoon suite?

“A jack on the rocks,” I answered, but my eyes said, “Lose the top of that dress.” She was built like a brand new Nuclear Battleship with curves that would make a Formula I race car drive proud.

The package didn't end there. She dashed to retrieve me a double on the rocks and returned with a smile that glistened like neon over the Hollywood sign. She spoke in warm tones, asked concerned questions; indicate sincere thoughtfulness and understanding with a hint of adventure in her gaze. I knew it was business, but I was falling head over heals. As we spoke she pressed her never-ending warm softness against me. “Would you like a lap dance,” she said?

How could I turn her down and we moved to a dark corner and I paid her enough to cover a Bentley Continental GT car payment, and she fell in love. The gentle mood music in the room drifted away with the chatting crowd noise, smoke and flickering lights. Her name was Kat and she moved like one. Immersed is sensual bliss I drifted into a euphoric state somewhere high above the earth until something snapped like a bullwhip cracked an inch from my nose. It was the crack of a shattered pitcher of Sam Adams against an unforgiving concrete foundation at the hands of my long lost redhead.

I was busted, my hands caught in a heavenly Kat filled cookie jar. “What the fuck,” she shouted at the top of her lungs, and every married guy in the joint stopped what he was doing, put his jacket back on a slithered toward the door, while two heavy-weight security guards approached my would-be assassin.

I jumped to my feet to protect Kat. The redhead always packed a small Browning .32 semi in her diminutive purse. Then it dawned on me, the Subic Bay whorehouse code during the Vietnam era. I could have a girl in every club, but not more than one in each club or there would be trouble in paradise, knife-wielding trouble.

As the déjà vu diminished so did my dream girl and security stormed out with my redhead in tow. She blew the mood on the entire joint and immediately they were losing money. I stood there like O.J. Simpson in the courtroom after being sentenced. I fucked up big time. Hell, I'm revealing way too much, under the cloak of what happens in Vegas stays there.

I picked up my jacked and crept toward the rear exit. Security sneered at me as I departed. “Don't you know the code,” the guards said?

“I do know it,” I said, “from the Philippines.” I turned my tail between my legs and sauntered quietly between parked cars to find a cab.

“I didn't want to work the rest of the night anyway,” Kat said holding her Cadillac XLR roadster door open. “Wanna spend a couple more car payments on me?”

Damn, I hope the redhead doesn't read this…

Artistry in Iron Winner – $20,000

Roger Goldammer, Kelowna, BC, Canada

Bikini Contest Winner
1st Place – Zaya Taylor, Las Vegas, NV
2nd Place – Kristina Falco, Henderson, NV
3rd Place – Kate Morace, Las Vegas, NV

Custom Bike Show
Semi-Custom
1st – Louise Hutchinson, Aurdrie, Alberta, Canada
2nd – Louie Ramirez, Colton, CA
3rd – Mike Mendoza, Colton, CA

Custom
1st – Todd Silicato, Huntington Beach, CA
2nd – Amber Billings, Scottsdale, AZ
3rd – Lee Rogers, Surprize, AZ

Radical
1st – Jim Giuffra, AFT Customs, Martell, CA
2nd – Bryan Schimke, TPJ Customs, Lodi, CA
3rd – Mike Olivotti, San Anselmo, CA

Best Bobber – Bryan Schimke, TPJ Customs, Lodi, CA
Best Paint – Adam Madrigal, Las Vegas, NV
Best Metric – Jim Giuffra, AFT Customs, Martell, CA
Best Bagged – Tommy Bedford, Lewisville, TX
Best Sportster – Marvin Reeder, Henderson, NV
People's Choice – Bud Blakeslee, Fort Mohave, AZ