Hey,
Damn it’s nice outside. The sun makes allthe boats in theharbor appear cleaner that they are. Thenight’s mysteriesare reduced due to the recent abductionof Agent Zebra whois back in Miami raising havoc with Billyof Choppers Inc.This last week I pounded out the thirdin a series ofmadcapped articles for Horse Magazine.If they’ll grant methe ominous privilege, I’ll reprint theback issue storieshere for you to review, although, theygo way beyond whatGumba the cat will allow me to print here.
I was putting the final touches on an interviewwith HarryFisher the Colonel of the Victor McLaglenMotor Corps,when there was a banging on the shed door.Two girls ranout of the back of the house jumped thefence and ran tothe Burrito Factory on the corner to hideuntil they got acall from me. I grabbed at any drawerin the shanty andpulled. There’s a gun in every drawer,every closet, underevery bed. I yanked out something so bizarre,it mighthave been a rusting bear trap. I wasn’tsure how tooperated the slide. I shoved it back inthe drawer andpulled the Spyderco on my hip, snappingit open. I yankedthe front door open and there stood threeof the meanestsonsabitches I’d ever laid my roadmapeyes on. I wasstunned. The kid in front, with the baseballcap onbackwards snarled at me. I was too frightenedto figureout what he was saying, but the back ofhis baseball capread “World Famous JIMS Products”. Hehad to be alright.
I tried to remember what happened lastweekend, who I waswith, what joint I was thrown out of.I couldn’t remembera thing–bad answer. Mr. Baseball capand his cohortgrabbed me by the arms and mumbled somethingaboutdropping my body at a Mexican Restaurantin East L.A. Mybody? What happened to good old AmericanCats? “Gumba,” Iyelled as they drug me to a rumbling Suburbanat the curb.Then I realized who the ring leader was,Kim Hotinger, abig thick man with a graying goatee. Hissister once workin the same joint I did. Terror struck,my knees wentweak, what could I have said to her? Someonehit me on theback of the head with a pipe and I wentout. We better getto the news:
BIKERNET COMLINK ACTIVATED–ZEBRA HERE…
THE GREAT BIKERNET CHOP-OFF–TheGreat BikernetBikernet.com west and Bikernet.com eastlock horns,chopper style. No, there hasn’t been someunfortunateaccident in the Bikernet World Headquartersgarageinvolving a band saw. This is somethingmore far reaching(so to speak) with much greater implications(punintended). In what might very well bea showdown of thetwo top custom chopper builders in theworld, BikernetWest and Bikernet East, commanded by Banditand myselfrespectively, have squared off to seewho can crank outthe most hardcore, outlaw chopper forour run to Sturgis,2000.
Bandit will be calling on the extensivetalents of JesseJames (yes, he’s a direct descendant ofthe mass murdererfrom Missouri) and his Long Beach goosenecker monstershop, West Coast Choppers. See the linkon the Bikernethomepage to go to Jesse’s website. I willbe looking toeast coast engineering expert and go-fastgiraffespecialist, Billy Lane and his band oftrash-can boreoutlaws at Choppers Inc. Go to Choppersinc.comto seeBilly’s website (a link will be comingshortly to Bikernetas well and we look forward to addingBilly and his crewto our site of A-list companies).
I tossed the gauntlet into a puddle ofJack about a monthago in L.A. and Bandit accepted the challengewith hisusual 1%er gusto. We were trying to figureout what to dothis year for Sturgis which would representBikernet andits corporate motto of “Have fun or dietrying”. We talkedabout riding stock antiques. We talkedabout buildingShovels. We’d been spending a good amountof time atJesse’s place in Long Beach for variousreasons, somelegal, and Jesse was already tearing downtheexceptionally cool, but virtually unrideableBandit II.
We also have been in close communicationwith Billy on theeast coast and I was planning to run outto Miami Beachand grab a place to establish a Bikernetpresence on theother side of the highway. Then it hitme, why not haveboth chopper shops create their most unique,most elitework, with absolutely no limits and completeauthority togo far beyond boundaries, then let thepeople decide. So,it was agreed, we would each build a verycustom chopper,one that illustrated our personal preferencesin ridingand style. We’re planning (providing we’reboth stillliving) to ride the monsters north. We’llbe riding fromMelbourne, Florida and Bandit from SanPedro, California.We’ll meet at Two-Wheelers in Coloradofor one longdrunken brawl, then a 450 miles ride northand east, so wecan put the bikes on display at the OKCorral ofmotorcycling–Sturgis. Ballot boxes willbe available andbikers will be able to cast their votefor their favoritechop.
To spice things up beyond simple pride,the loser pays forthe other bro’s entire trip. With my usualimmenseconfidence and complete disregard formisfortune, I planto wrack up enormous bills in anticipationof Banditfronting all my costs when I whip hisass. And of courseyou can expect him to do the same. Itshould be a monstershowdown. Both Billy and Jesse are provensuperpowers whenit comes to big horsepower stretch necks,with seriousengineering skills and exceptionally creativeminds thatresult in motorcycles which make grownmen drool andweaker riders seek cover. Both buildersride their ownmachines and ride them hard. In fact,it could be saidthat the front tires on either Billy orJesse’s personalchoppers are formalities, as they rarelyspend any time onthem. As Jesse once told me in his shop,”We’re our ownR&D department when it comes to stresstesting. If a partcan be broken, we’ll break it long beforeit could everget to a customer.” If Billy told me hehad 1,000 miles onhis back tire, I would estimate him tohave about 100 onhis front tire.
We’re even going to provide a separateweb page for theshowdown, which will allow you to seeside by sidecomparisons of the bikes as they evolve.I’m sorry to sayBandit is already way out in front withthe constructionprocess, and you can view the beginningsof the Bandit IIIin the bikernet garage. Billy and Jessewill each be givena special place in their respective sectionsto writeupdates on anything which they feel mightbe pertinent orof interest to our three hundred thousand-plushitters whoread Bikernet each month (yes that’s over30,600,000worldwide hits annually and climbing,a Bikernet personalbest). You can count on a couple of things,the contestwon’t be boring, Bandit and I won’t playfair, and themachines will be outstanding.
Zebra, Bikernet.com east, Miami Beach 12:34a.m.,somewhere over Texas
Ehlert Publishing GroupAnnounces LaunchOfWomen’sMotorcycle Publication–Maple Grove, Minnesota(March 1,2000) ? Ehlert Publishing Group, Inc.has announced thelaunch of a new magazine targeting womenmotorcycleenthusiasts. The premiere issue of WomanRider will makeits debut in early July.
Woman Rider will launch as an annual in2000, with acontrolled distribution of 40,000 copies.Plans call for aconversion to paid subscriptions and afour-time frequencyin 2001. The initial 40,000 distributionwill come fromEhlert’s database of women motorcycleowners. Woman Riderwill join Ehlert’s stable of motorcyclepublications thatinclude Rider, American Rider, CruisingRider and ThunderPress.”The motorcycle industry continuesto grow at ahealthy rate, with 1999 retail sales up24% from a yearago. A big part of that growth is comingfrom the women’ssegment,” explained Group Publisher DickHendricks.”Current statistics show that one in every12 motorcycleowners in the U.S. is a woman. Women madeup nearly 10% ofnew bike purchasers this past year. Thetime is right fora quality, lifestyle magazine for activewomen motorcycleenthusiasts.”
Genevieve Schmitt has been named editorof Woman Rider.Schmitt previously served as editor ofthe now-defunctpublication Asphalt Angels. She is anactive motorcycleenthusiast who has also produced and reportedmotorcyclesegments for “Bike Week,” which airs onthe Speedvisioncable network, and for “Travel Daily,”which airs on TheTravel Channel.
Two little potatoes are standing on thestreet corner–How can youtell which one is the prostitute?
It’s the one with the little sticker thatsays “IDAHO”.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON CVO SPREADS ITS WINGSWITH THE NEWSCREAMIN’ EAGLE ROAD GLIDE– Harley-Davidson’sCustomVehicle Operations(CVO) Program continuesto soar with theintroduction of its newest customvehicle-theFLTRSEIScreamin’ Eagle Road Glide. In designingthe FLTRSEI,theCVO team looked to the Screamin’ EaglePro Stock race teamforinspiration. The result is a radical,yet street-legal,custom thatshowcases Screamin’ Eagle highperformanceparts and reflectsHarley-Davidson’s racingheritage.
The CVO program, which created the enormouslysuccessfulCustom FXRline, was established in orderto testHarley-Davidson’s ability to producehighlycustomized andaccessorized, low-volume, niche motorcycles.Theoverwhelming success of this eliteline has proven thatHarley-Davidson’sCVO program is here tostay, fulfillingcustomer dreams with custommotorcycles.
The FLTRSEI Screamin’ Eagle Road Glidefeatures a highperformance1550cc Twin Cam motor in silverand chrome. Thepowertrain utilizesScreamin’ Eagle performancepartsconfigured in a special street-legalpackage,includingbig-bore cylinders, flat-top pistons,intakecalibrationcartridge, and air cleanerfor a 10% increasein horsepower and 14% gain intorque.
The Screamin’ Eagle Road Glide also featuresmore than$7,500 inGenuine Harley-Davidson customaccessories andoffers two exciting custompaint schemesto choose from: aBlack and VR Racing Orange and ArcticWhiteor Three-toneRed-both with Screamin’ Eagle racing graphics.Theadditionalaccessories include:
* Touring Mufflers with Shark Fin End Capsand Full ChromeShields
* New Seat with Color Inserts (red only)and matchingRider, Passenger andTour Pak Mounted PassengerBackrestPads
* New Cloisonn? Tour Pak Lid Emblem, 1550ccAir CleanerInsert and NewConsole Inserts
* Painted Inner Fairing on Red Version
* Fairing Lowers
* Silver Sparkle 9-Spoke Cast AluminumWheels
* Black Wall Tires
* Fairing Lower Storage Boxes-color matchedon red paintscheme
* Saddlebags and Tour Pak Liners
* Tear Drop Floating Brake Rotors-Frontand Rear
* Aluminum style Chrome Billet Mirrors
* Smoked Low-profile Windshield
* Painted Saddlebag Filler Strips
* Silver Painted Front Brake Calipers withChrome Inserts
* Chrome Dip Stick
* Girder-Style Shift Levers
* Silver Gauge Faces
* Detachable Passenger Backrest with Pad
* Cruise Control
* Chrome and Rubber Style Hand Grips, RiderFoot BoardInserts, Brake PedalPad and Shifter Peg
* Chrome Instrument Bezels on auxiliarygauges
* Chrome O.E. Style Handlebars
* Detachable Shorty Tour Pak with Liner,PassengerBackrest and InteriorLight
* Tour Pak Spoiler with Integrated BrakeLight
* Polished Stainless Steel Shift Linkage
* Chrome Front Axle Nut Covers
* Braided Stainless Steel Front Brake Line
* Chrome Hand Control Levers
* Chrome Handlebar Switch Housings
* Chrome Lower Fork Sliders with ChromeCow Bells
* Chrome Passenger Footrests with Chrome3-slot Footpegs
* Chrome Rear Master Cylinder Cover
* Chrome Lower Fairing Mounts
* Matching Indoor Motorcycle Storage Coverwith Screamin’Eagle Graphics
The Screamin’ Eagle Road Glide has a limitedproduction of1550units, each with a suggested U.S.retail price of$22,495 (California pricesslightly higher).The 2000FLTRSEI carries Harley-Davidson’s standard12-month,unlimited mileage warranty and will beavailableatHarley-Davidson dealerships throughoutthe United Statesand Canada.
For additional information on the Screamin’Eagle RoadGlide andHarley-DavidsonGenuine MotorParts and GenuineMotor Accessories, visit the Harley-Davidsonwebsite atwww.harley-davidson.com. To find a dealernear you, calltoll free1-800-443-2153 in the U.S.
STRANGE CUSTOMS–In Lebanon, menare legally allowed tohave sex with animals, but the animalsmust be female.Having sexual relations with a male animalis punishable bydeath. (Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examinea woman’sgenitals, but isprohibited from lookingdirectly at themduring the examination. He mayonly seetheir reflection ina mirror.
Muslims are banned from looking at thegenitals of acorpse. This also applies to undertakers;the sex organsof the deceased must be covered withabrick or piece ofwood at all times. (A brick??) The penaltyformasturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.(Which head?)
HA LEATHERS–I just bought my secondvest from Little Joe,who has been making leathers for bikersfor over fiveyears. It’s startling what a man can dowhen he puts his30 years of experience into each product.I’m notmentioning this because of something hedid for me. Thisis a man who has been a Hells Angel forover 20 years andhas put everything he knows into designingleather wearthat looks good and performs well. Weall know theproblems we can have with leather shit,well you won’thave those problems with Joe’s products.Give him a call,and he’ll send you a flier, (800) 329-8101.
JON TOWLE CHECKS IN
ALRIGHT TROOPS, LISTEN UP! As someof you know, most of myworldly goods have been surrendered orconfiscated by thepowers that be due to a marriage gonesouth and a hugedebt racked up by a certain female thatshall remainnameless (okay some of it could have beenme).
One of the few things I have left is mycar…..a nice onetoo. Well guess what? bye bye mother-fuckingcar! They’retaking my only mode of transportationboys and girls.
Due to the fact that I trust almost nobody,I ask you finefolks for leads or offers of a cheep setof wheels foryours truly ( let’s keep in mind thatI do have a littlepride and only speak English…just kidding).I willrebound from this living hell in time,but right now I’vebeen sucker punched in a big way, if youcatch my drift.thanks for any help, your angry pal,
Jon Towle-(jon@bikernet.com)
WEEK THREE OF MAKING– “Burnin’Daylight, L.A.” As with alllarge projects, “Burnin’ Daylight, L.A.”,the first in aseries of biker videos from Bikernet,is not without itsproduction problems. Motorcycle crashesand arrests haveplagued the making of this outlandishvideo, though theyhaven’t dampened spirits notably. Butthis week an eventdid take place which managed to slow productionfor atleast the first few days. Bandit disappeared.Marko, TheDestroyer, and the director, was stormingall over theplace trying to find the missing outlaw,while Zebra usedthe time to catch up on missed phone callsto his womenout of state (on Bandit’s home phone)and make friendswith a couple of new ladies he met recentlyduringfilming. “Tryke groupies” as Zebra callsthem.
“They’re just innocent young ladies whoare attracted tomotorcycles and guys with long knives,”Zebra told mematter-of-factly as he chatted up a younglady withenormous breasts at Bandit’s pad in SanPedro. “I’mwilling to take these young girls undermy protective wingand teach them the secret love makingtechniques of theancient Chinese. At least I think it’sChinese, itinvolves chopsticks and Bandit said somethingabout sushibefore he split. Where’d he go? Who knows?Bandit just upand rides sometimes. Maybe Texas. He’llbe backeventually. I don’t know what the bigto-do is all about.It’s Marko really. He’s from Argentina.You know howLatins are. Very excitable. I tried toget him to drinksome whiskey and knock off a piece offresh pussy, buthe’s too wound up. Fuck him.”
“I’m just trying to control my rage,” Markorespondedvehemently when I questioned Bandit’swhereabouts. “Tosimply disappear right in the middle ofmaking a movie isfucking unreal. It’s insane. The guy isentirelyunpredictable. I can’t work like this.We’re spendingthousands of dollars a day on this fuckingmovie and oneof the two principles just vanishes. I’mgoing to killhim. I swear to God I’m going to killhim.”
When I asked Marko what it’s been likeworking with Banditand the Zebra to date he flew into a rageand punched hispickup truck before responding.
“It’s been fucking awful! They won’t doanything I tellthem to do. They’re always off fuckingthe models whenwe’re trying to shoot them. Bandit musthave picked up 40women in two weeks. One was maybe 17,maybe. Sure, she wasa hottie, but 17? That’s prison time,man.
Zebra shoots everything. Yesterday he shota fucking$6,000 digital camera! $6,000! That fuckingthing didn’teven belong to me! It belongs to Playboy!I’m going tohave to pay for that. Then Bandit spilledJack Daniels ona roll of film and we had to re-shootan entire sequence.They’re completely rogue, they’re outof control all thetime. I never know what they’re goingto do next.”
When I inquired as to why Zebra would shoota camera, TheDestroyer again punched his pickup.
“I’m trying to hard to control my rageright now, Joe.It’s so hard. The fucking guy- he- fucking,who knows?!Some crazy shit about a giant lizard thatwas hiding inthe camera or some sort of shit. Apparentlyhe and Banditgot into some LSD or something when wewere filming. Ithink they gave some to the models too,because later inthe day they were all freaking out andrunning all overthe set naked. I don’t know. Can you imaginethat? LSD?During a photo shoot? After the shoot?Fine. But during?Jesus! I’ve worked with bikers on a dozenprojects before,like “Choppers and Chicks”, but I’ve neverseen anythinglike these fucking guys. We’ll never getthis fuckingthing done. Never. I’m just trying tocontrol my rage.”Stay tuned for more updates on “Burnin’Daylight, L.A.
Joseph Smithee, film correspondent at largereporting forbikernet.comWeek Three, “Burning’ Daylight,L.A.”
POETRY IN MOTION — I went througha hot rain, trying to findthe essences of my soul, only tofind pain.
I went through the darkest night, waitingto hear theBlack Bell toll.
I’ve been in a countless crowd. Still,I was covered in ashroud.Breathing but feeling nothing.Except a cold windat my back. Feeling thecards of life againstme, begin tostack.Hearing the hoof beats of the LastRider in adistance.
It’s my time to feel the saddle’s fit &pull on the ghostrider’s bit.Let out a cough, and bloodI will spit. In thewind, my heart & horse thatbecomessteel will mend.
Finally together we will blend. Going downour long emptyroad, I laugh, myhair flys, I no longerfeel the load.
Keep it together Brothers.
–JD
AMERICAN QUANTUM SIGNS 10 NEW DEALERS–Melbourne,AmericanQuantum Cycles signed up 10 new dealersat the PowersportsDealer Expo in Indianapolis in February,bringing theirtotal dealer network to 61. The 61 dealersputs AQ aheadof their business plan of 68 dealers bythe end of thefiscal year.
Way to go, guys.
Hey Bandit (& clan), great site– I’veheard about it andknew that you had branched out, lookslike you made theright choice. It was great to see yourarticle onSportster horsepower (see garage). I’mglad that youadmitted that most bikers started outon a Sportster.Seems most have forgotten that. My wifeand I love ours.She rides a hopped up Hugger, was an 883but we cut ourlocal speed guy loose on it and now she’spushin’ around75 hp. Not bad for a street runner. Minewas a fairlystock 1200 Custom, till a cager decidedto rearrange thebike and my leg. It’s in the shop nowgetting put backtogether and should look tough when it’sdone. HP upgradeswill have to wait. About rigid riders,would love to readanything about the rigids. After payingoff my basic ride,I’m gonna start a rigid chopper. Not surewhat engine(probably Shovel) but it’s gonna be astripped down,no-shit real fuckin’ bike.
Hey, check the garage and above for thetwo rigids goingto Sturgis this year–Bandit
WORLDS FUNNIES SEX JOKES– by populardemand, We will runthe standards of the industry in threesegments. There’sonly nine, man. Enjoy ’em.
A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants toask the clerk aquestion.As he turns to go to the frontdesk,heaccidentally bumps into a womanbesidehim and as hedoes, his elbow goes into her breast.They arebothstartled and he says, “Ma’am, if yourheart is as softas your breast, I know you’ll forgiveme.” She replies,”If your penis is as hard as yourelbow,I’m in room 1221.”
A young man walks up and sits down at thebar. “What can Iget you?”the bartender inquires. “I want6 shots ofJagermeister,” responded theyoung man.”6 shots?!? Are youcelebrating something?” “Yeah, myfirstblowjob.” “Well, inthat case, let me give you a 7th on thehouse.””Nooffense, sir. But if 6 shots won’t getrid of the taste,nothing will.”
A businessman boards a flight and is luckyenough to beseated next toan absolutely gorgeous woman.They exchangebrief hellos and he noticessheis readinga manual aboutsexual statistics. He asks her about itand she replies,”This is a very interesting book aboutsexualstatistics.It identifies that American Indians havethe longestaveragepenis and Polish men have the biggestaveragediameter. By the way, myname is Jill.What’s yours?” Hecoolly replies, “Tonto Kawalski, nicetomeet you.”
COME IN, OVER–I read Zebra’s latestramblings. Don’t knowwhere he is or what he’s been snorting(or drinking,smoking and porking),but he is definitelyNOT in Korea.The characters shown in his writings arenot Korean, butChinese. Living in Taiwan, I should know.Those kinds ofcharacters you will see mostly in placeslike China,Taiwan, or Japan since their writing isbased on Chinesecharacters.
The notorious Agent must have been on somethingif hebelieved you or anybody when they saidKorea is balmy.Yeah, right fella! Korea is only balmyduring the summer.Now it’s winter and your nuts get so coldthat when theyhit together they sound like ice cubestinkling in a glassof Jack Daniel’s! If you want balmy, headfarther south toThailand, Malaysia, or the Philippines.Of course thenZebra wouldn’t get any work done, he’dbe too busydebauching himself and all those lovelyAsian beauties,swilling that cheap whiskey, and generallygetting a worldclass case of the clap!
Now here’s a little news item you mighthave heard about.This young pop star named Cheng, who issupposedly verypopular in Asia, was on a L.A. to HongKong flight. Iforget the airline. Anyway, as soon ashe’s in his seat,he starts drinking like crazy. ChampagneSome wine, andseveral glasses of cognac. So he startssinging loudly,grabs the arm of a passenger next to him,and begins toyell. The guy goes to complain to thecrew about thebehavior and smoking in the first classcabin, and prettysoon the co-pilot comes to try and stopthe guy and getsgrabbed around the throat. Later the pilotjoins in andhas to brain the guy with a flashlightto shut him up! SoHelvetica”>the flight had to land in Anchorage, Alaska.For somereason this forced the pilot to dump 6,000pounds of fuel!
The singer, as a U.S. citizen, faces apossible sentenceof twenty years and a sizable fine. Idon’t know aboutyou, but I think it’s a really bad ideato start a fightor any kind of trouble when your 40,000feet in the air!And who was flying the plane when theasshole was causingall this trouble!? I’ve heard since thathe paid a fineand was released. Personally, I thinkfor all the troubleand inconvenience he caused they should’veflushed himdown the can as they passed over Alaska.
That’s it! Keep riding and writing, Sun
NEW ENGLAND MOTORCYCLISTS AND MRF STOPHELMET LAW–The NH House of Representatives killedthe latest proposal for ahelmet law in the state. Following twohearings, the billwas given status of “Inexpedient to Legislate”by aunanimous vote. Not one of the 400 Housemembers,including the sponsors, thought the helmetlaw billmerited further consideration.
The MRF and other motorcyclists’ rightsorganizationscontributed testimony to the hearings.full story
DEAR RESIDENT–I am an avid readerand I would like tocomment on this Zebra character. He seemslike a wonderfulperson with a great deal of misunderstoodenergy. Perhapsa few weeks in the Betty Ford clinic andsomeunderstanding would be better than yourperpetual chiding.You may be driving him deeper into hisstate of aggressivebliss. You may also want to try gettingout of his fuckin’way when you ride on the open road, becauseyou ride likea girl and he’s sick of having to blowby your fat asseverytime he rides with you.
The anonymous reader…
DARWIN AWARDS– In February, accordingto police inWindsor, Ontario, Daniel Kolta, 27, andRandy Taylor, 33,died in a head-on collision, thus earninga tie in thegame of chicken they were playing withtheir snowmobile.
In Betulia, Colombia, an annual festivalin Novemberincludes five days of amateur bullfighting.This year, nobull was killed, but dozens of matadorswere injured,including one gored in the head, and oneBobbittized. Saidone participant, “It’s just one bull against[a town of] athousand morons.”
PADERBORN, GERMANY – Overzealouszoo-keeper FriedrichRiesfeldt fed a constipated elephant Stefan22 doses ofanimal laxative and more than a bushelof berries, figs,and prunes before the plugged-up pachydermfinally letfly, and suffocated the keeper under 200pounds of poop!!!Investigators say that the ill-fated Friedrich,46, wasattempting to give the ailing elephantan olive-oil enemawhen the relieved beast unloaded on himlike a dump truckfull of mud. “The sheer force of the elephant’sunexpecteddefecation knocked Mr. Riesfeldt to theground, where hestruck his head on a rock and lay unconsciousas theelephant continued to evacuate his bowelson top of him,”said flabbergasted Paderborn police detectiveErik Dern.”With no one there to help him, he layunder all that dungfor at least an hour before a watchmancame along, andduring that time, the keeper suffocated.It seems to bejust one of those freak accidents thathappen.”
BUELL RACING SETS SITES FOR 2000–as the title sponsorfor AMA Pro Thunder Series. The comingyear promises to beanother action-packed racing season forthe BuellMotorcycle Company. Following a successful1999 season,the Wisconsin-based company will expandits racingparticipation this year by sponsoringthree series inwhich Buell motorcycles compete: The AMABuell Pro ThunderSeries, the PACE Formula USA Buell LightningSeries andthe ADBA Buell SS/XL Series. Don’t missa race.
AVON TYRE CHART--After many programmingheadaches our HTMLWizard, the Doctor of Deadlines, the Terminatorof TimeTables, finally launched the super simple,nothing-to-itAVON Tyre fitment chart for your never-endingreview.That’s right under the AVON page you’llfind a chart withthe entire line of AVON tyres, the overallwidth of eachtire, the diameter, the rim size needed,and well check itout and see for yourself.
YOU LUCKY BASTARDS–THAT’S IT. That’scorrect, I’veactually run out of news for this week.Of course rumorsare abundant, bullshit stacked to theceilings, but giveme a break, after a massive Machaca Burritoand a coupleof shots of Tequila, I can’t wait fora siesta and thehappy hour to follow. Sure, I’m forgettingsomething, butI forget my mother’s birthday every year.I’d forget tofeed Gumba everyday, unless she bit myankles in themorning.
What’s more important than a good runningmotorcycle andFriday night–fast approaching. Let’sride!
–Bandit
