I was going to be merciful for my first movie review for Bikernet, until I found a copy of one version of the cover art for this clunker. A busty woman in a torn T-shirt with a shotgun, pants unsnapped at the waist, a couple of scoots raging towards the viewer with a gun raised in defiance and across the bottom of the cover in bold letters: Anarchy Is Their Middle Name.
Now I watched this loser DVD from beginning to bitter end and I truly don’t remember the Sons of Anarchy being present in any scene. In an effort to drum up some sort of audience the producers pulled the cheap shot of trying to hook up a confused and desperate waste of time with a popular and entertaining television show.
The plot has holes in it big enough to drive a truck through, and at one point about five minutes is spent destroying a Cadillac between two semi trucks. Two ‘bikers’ (Casper Van Dien as Mike and Patrick Muldoon as Alex) who look like a couple of slumming cops playing biker for the weekend are on their way to Sturgis. On the way to Sturgis they try to rescue an old man being mugged who winds up getting knifed while being held by one of the bikers (gee thanks for helping guys); one of the RUBS finds out his father was not killed in Nam but was killed on a bike run (his mom, played by Theresa Russell who looks to be about old enough to be his sister lied to him). There is a crazy bad guy played by William Forsythe who is after a video tape the two yupsters are carrying with his two goons chasing the boys across the movie.
Okay there are a couple of good scenes; one of the guys picks up a ‘lil spinner hitchhiker who gets bare naked for a brief time and hired goon Branscome Richmond gets bested in a hilarious scene with the Natives at a desert trading post. Oh yeah, the whole jagged plot line is held together by none other than our own Bandit who interviews one of the bikers about his role in exposing the criminal conduct of Congressman Clayton while on the set of a movie, somewhere.
Arrgh, it makes my head hurt to even try to remember the lackluster details from pile o’ crud. All in all, if you can see this for free it might not be too bad, the soundtrack occasionally takes off and the bikes look good.
There is so much wrong with this movie please. Oh yeah, I don’t think these goofy bastards ever do get to Sturgis, but at the end of the movie there are some random shots of the Black Hills Rally. 
Editor’s note: I appreciate Kevin’s candid review. And yes, I’m in this B-Biker movie, but there’s a sidebar to this effort. Mike Jones made this movie. He wrote it, dreamed it could be a reality, and raised substantial monies to fund it. At one point they ran out of money and the big name producer and director hit the road. It took Mike another three years to raise the funds to finish it. Sure it’s not Easyriders, but a rider poured his soul into making a movie and he finished the painful project. For that reason alone, I will no-doubt watch it again.–Bandit
