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April 12, 2001 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LOST ARTIFACT FROM THE TOMB OF KING PUTT DISCOVERED IN BIKERNET BASEMENT

That’s right, deep in the dusty confines of the basement, next to the shackles and the torture rack, we discovered a shining relic. You’ll have to get a membership to the Cantina and check it out. Man, I hate to do that to you guys, but we’re trying to make enough bucks to keep the women happy, the cupboard full of Jack and parts in the garage. Speaking of parts, the Blue Flame is at Micah McCloskey’s Custom Motorcycles in Canoga Park, (818) 348-8967, if you want to have a look. It’s for sale. I hate to let it go, but it’s fresh, clean, a fighting machine. What a nice ride for a rigid.

/bikernet ad

Here’s the new Bikernet ad to be run in HORSE magazine. I don’t know what got into them when they changed the name. Distributors and retailers must go crazy when it shows up at the shop down from the stables. Why didn’t they call it IRON? I’ll never know, but it’s growing. They’re fighting back, and word on the street is that they are the new breed Easyriders. We’ll see. Let’s get to the news.

Bob's T's Girl

LONG LOST BRO–No, she’s not the bro, but the bro’s babe, friend, relative, hell, I don’t know. I used to ride with some guys in Long Beach in the early ’70s and we just found each other again. I wouldn’t want to ruin your day with a shot of his ugly mug, so I ran this shot of this babe sitting on his new Softail, which we will feature shortly.–Thanks, Bob.

SUM BITCH– crossed the yellow line on a highway near Anza, Calif. Our brother, (Hydro) Mike, was left with a broken back and they said he would never walk again. Good thing he mentioned that he had feeling in his thighs. They fused his back and today he is walking with two crutches and sometimes uses a wheelchair.

My brothers and I got together and built him a trike with an 88-inch RevTech motor and 5-speed transmission, ultima Softail frame and a 1947 servi car rear frame and differential. The servi car diff and frame are welded to the softail swing arm so that when Hydro is ready for two wheels we just unbolt and bolt another up and off he goes. It’s been up for a month and we will tear it down again as any good chopper should be and have it painted and touched up. But the best thing is Hydro’s ass is back in the wind with us.

J-BIRD GFM/C So. Cal

–Gayle Mcguire

TILL DEATH DO US PART…TA husband and wife were having dinner at a fine restaurant whenthisabsolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives thehusbanda big open-mouthed kiss, then says she’ll see him later and walks away.

The wife glares at her husband and says, “Who the hell was that?””Oh,” replies the husband, “she’s my mistress.””Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I wanta divorce!”

“I can understand that,” replies her husband, “but remember, if we getadivorce, it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more winteringinBarbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Infiniti or Lexus in thegarage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babeon hisarm.

“Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife.

“That’s his mistress,” says her husband.

“Ours is prettier,” she replies.

BIKERNET TESTIMONIAL FROM FAMOUS BIKE BUILDER–When I built my Web site and Web store in ’97, I already knew that a site withouttraffic is like a store without an address. So I tried different marketing andadvertising strategies to “build” digital highways leading to my two sites.

Everyday I check my Web site traffic through the services of a specializedcompany called Webtrends. Not only did Bikernet.com always rank very high inthe list of URLs providing my site with traffic, but I also observed thatthese visitors come back on a regular basis. And regular visitors makerepeat buyers of my accessories.

The reason is probably that Bikernet.com isthe only full weekly digital magazine written by bikers for bikers with realnews, useful tech tips, classifieds and even a bike show. Bikernet.com is, forme, like a giant billboard on Sunset Boulevard inviting bikers to make adetour to my shop. And a lot of them are visiting…and buying.

–Cyril Huze
Custom Builder

Thanks brother, we needed that!–Bandit

On to Page 2

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April 5, 2001 Part 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–LAUGHLIN LOOMS IN THE DISTANCE (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 1

New Carb

NEW CARBURETOR–Atomized Fuel Technologies, Inc. has developed and is currently manufacturing carburetors for V-Twin, off-road motorcycles, and snowmobiles. These carburetors have been proven to increase horsepower, torque, and fuel economy, while decreasing harmful CO and Hydrocarbon emmissions. Check out this new billet unit at AFT Carbs.com.

A YOUNG FAMILY– moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family’s 6-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew – gems in the rough all of them – more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, “I’ve been working with a crew building a house all week.”

“My goodness gracious”, said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week too?” “I will if those useless cocksuckers at the lumber yard ever bring us the fucking bricks,” replied the little girl.

Daytona Overdressed

THE HORSE REPORTS–Seen in Daytakeya-how do you spell O V E R D R E S S E D?

–GENO

BIKE-RELATED FATALITIES DROP AFTER MANDATORY HELMET LAW REPEALED– Motorcycleriders who fought so hard to get Florida’s mandatory helmet law repealed areseeing the numbers from Daytona’s Bike Week as real vindication.

This year, all eyes turned in the direction of the state’s premier bikerevent togauge the impact of repealing the state’s helmet requirement last July 1.Despite fears that more motorcyclists would die, deaths actually droppedsharply.

A record 15 bike-related fatalities happened in Central Florida during BikeWeek 2000. But during Bike Week 2001, accidents claimed the lives of sixpeople in Volusia County, a reduction that bikers claim proves their point.They say that it’s safer to ride motorcycles without helmets that impedevision and muffle hearing.

Statewide, bike-related fatalities fell from 110 during the first six monthsoflast year to 86 during the last six months, the period when helmets were nolonger mandatory.

–From The Associated Press

DragonF-Spiderweb

DRAGONFLY SHIRTS A HIT– These puppies are cool, quality and priced right, and if you like the ones we have, we’ll have a new line by summer. Besides, we’re not charging postage and handling until the market returns and all is well in the financial world again. Samantha doesn’t hurt either.

A KINDERGARTEN CLASS– had a homework assignment to find out about somethingexciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came topresent what they’d found, the first little boy called upon walked up to thefront of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on theblack board, then he sat back down.Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.

?It?s a period,” said thelittle boy.

“Well, I can see that,” she said, “but what’s so exciting abouta little ol’ period?”

“Damned if I know,” said the little boy, “but thismorning my 15 year-old sister was missing one, …so Daddy had a heartattack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself. So there must besomething exciting about it.”

–Ray Russell

PLN

INTRODUCING THE FAST DATES, EBSCO, CORONA SUZUKI TEAM–top contenders in the AMA Nationals for 2001

We had hoped to be able to make this announcement months earlier, butcontract negotiations with one of our major sponsors had been dragging out.The former AMA National Championship winning EBSCO Suzuki raceteam owned by Landers Sevier, which dominated the Formula Extreme andSupersport Classes in the mid ’90s before Landers retired the team, is nowback with a vengence. The new team will again campaign American Suzukisupplied bikes, now in the 750 and 600 Supersport Classes, prepared again byCarry Andrews, their former National Championship winning crew chief. Theteam’s primary sponsors are Corona International, sponsors of the Suzukifactory team in World Superbike, and EBSCO Media, a major printing companyin Montgomery,Ala., where Landers Sevier serves as VP of Sales.

The world’s most popular motorcycle calendars and Web site, FastDates.com,will be a principal associate sponsor of the team with our name appearingon the team racebikes and in associated media, while EBSCO Corona Suzukicomes on board with us as a co-sponsor with SportBikes.com of the upcoming2002 Fast Dates Racebike Pinup Calendar. The team’s riders are Jimmy Mooreand Vincent Haskovec, with Moore having placed an incredible eighth place andfirst non-factory rider in the Daytona 200 Superbike race on his near stockSuzuki GSXR750 Supersport bike. Look for great things from the team thisseason.

Further details are available online in Pit lane News on the FastDates.comWeb site.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA, IF–The guy in line at Starbucks who is wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses andlooks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney.

Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.

Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay,and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.

It’s sprinkling out, and there’s a report onevery news channel about “THE STORM!”

THAT’S IT–The morning began calm enough, like a shotgun with one in the chamber and the hammer cocked but the finger inches from the trigger and tapping to the sound of the Temptation’s “It Was Just My Imagination.” I had sent my books to a guy who wanted to make biker movies and I was waiting by the phone for word of big checks and my plots on the silver screen. I was also waiting for the call from the glass cutter. Could they get it right this time? Could we pack it home without breaking it?

Side of boob

Would Sin show up for her nooner all bubbly and full of lesbian stories of her and Coral? Would Layla come bounding up the stairs, pleased with the money she had received from the production crew that would keep her family out of debt, only to find me with Sin and kill us both in a mad rage?Some questions are too awful to ponder. Maybe it’s time to cut and run–Let’s ride. –Bandit

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April 5, 2001 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–TWO ICONS DOWN–ED “BIG DADDY” ROTH AND ROGER RAMJET
As the fog rolled over the harbor and the weather forecast called for rain, I sipped a final Jack for the day and wondered what had happened. The stress was getting to me. We had finished John Buttera’s desk only to break the expensive glass top. We had orders to fill, the new winners for the Bikernet Bike Show were to be announced, and the elves in the trophy department needed to go to work. I had interviewed Dennis Manning for Hot Rod Bikes and the deadline was looming. I needed to clean the Blue Flame and take the Buell back to the fleet center for a dyno test so I could finish the article and get it ready for Laughlin. Then it happened, a relationship bombshell. Sin Wu would be cut loose from school for Easter vacation and Layla was skipping work while a movie crew rushed to finish filming at her old harbor clapboard pad.Sin Wu and Layla don’t get along much. I try to keep the two apart and comfortable, in fact, very comfortable. Then there’s Coral, the spunky blonde, who doesn’t care about anything except sex and Sin Wu. I was headed for a collision and wasn’t sure what to do. On top of the emotional female fireworks, I’ve got Markus Cuff the photog coming over today to shoot the desk with John Buttera and me. The glass hasn’t arrived and John is planning to take the desk with him. We better get to the news:

*************************************************

TWO ICONS DOWNED THIS WEEK–While hitting the iron pile Friday morning I received an urgent phone call from Carl Morrow from Carl’s Speed shop in Daytona Florida to inform me that Ed “Big Daddy” Roth had died of natural causes. Ed, the King of the custom culture was there in the beginning and still worked seven days a week on customs in his 70s. He had become a deeply religious man and moved to Idaho to embrace his faith while still emmersed in his art.

Roger Ramjet who developed the Ramjet retainer for early clutches, a fast flowing solid Evolution intake manifold and many other performance products died Wednesday in Santa Maria on highway 101 when his speeding motorcycle hit an obstruction on the freeway.

Roger assisted with the Easyriders Streamliner and many other Harley-oriented racing efforts. He also became deeply religious and attended bible studies in a tattoo parlor in the California coastal community. My Son Frank was working at the parlor for a short time, and became fast friends with Roger, learning the better ways of dealing with life’s lessons from the man.

This industry will be a couple of notches lower in the heart department because of our loss of these icons. It just goes to show that religious or not, every day, every minute is precious.

Ride forever, Brothers–Bandit

*********************************************

Vancil racing

VANCIL ROLLS TO RUNNER-UP AT THE ROCK–Doug Vancil of Albuquerque, N.M., nitro Harley drag racer, rolled to runner-upafter qualifying No. 1 in the Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley-Davidson division atthe 31st annual Holley Spring Nationals presented by Advance Auto Parts atRockingham Dragway in Rockingham, N.C.

Vancil smoked the field in qualifying, running consistently in the 6.5’s atover 200 mph.?The quickest field of 12 of the premier Top FuelHarley Racers Association members eligible to compete had a bump spot of6.673 ET at 194.38 mph., making this the quickest Nitro Harley field ever forIHRA.

In round one, Vancil took out Bill Furr of Orangeburg, S.C., at the tree in agreat side-by-side pass.?Vancil took a win on the Vance & Hines ’00 Harleywith a 0.472 RT at 6.610 ET 206.86 mph over Furr’s RT of 0.502 with 6.673 ETat 205.29 mph.

Between the first and second round, a severe weather front moved in. Vancil’s teamwas joined by a crowd of 10, including spectators and car nitro crew menholding down the awning to the Vance & Hines/Drag Specialties rig. Highwinds were accompanied by hail and radically dropping temperatures. ??

The semi-final round against Tony Mattioli of Middlegrove, N.Y., ?brought a winlight to Vancil’s column. Vancil’s 0.522 RT, 6.648 ET at 202.88 mph wasenough over Mattioli’s slowest time of the weekend 0.572?RT ?at 7.307 ET at151.78 mph to advance to the finals.

In the final round, Vancil and Houston Harley dealer Johnny Mancuso hadengine problems from the green light.?Mancuso rolled through the lightsfirst with an unceremonious 0.471 RT 8.797 ET at 115.13 mph. Vancil’sreaction time was 0.458 with a 10.282 ET at a coasting 73?mph.

Vancil now prepares the Vance & Hines/Drag Specialties Nitro Harley for IHRAat Richmond, Va., in mid-April. The Vancils are supported by Vance & Hines, DragSpecialties, Performance Machine, K & N, PJ 1, B & J Transmission, & Axtell.

CANTINA UPDATE–We’re breaking new records every day in Cantina subscriptions! We’ve added threearticles to the new Digital’s Discovery area, including a bike that runs onsoy bean oil, a biography on Bikernet’s own Helen Wolfe and a knife handcraftedby Von Dutch himself. We’ve also got a new article in the works by Scooter abouta fully restored German WWII helmet. “Bandit’sCantina,” the series, is in its fourth episode this week. The Bars andHangouts listing for the U.S. and Canada has broken the 200 mark and is getting biggerall the time. The Sunday Post, the Whore-O-Scope, the Shop ListingDatabase and the rest of the Cantina departments are growing daily. If youhaven’t signed up, you’re missing out. Be sure to watch ‘Your Shot’ for testimonials fromcurrent subscribers. And for those of you who are subscribers -write some reviews for us, will ya? The price for a Cantina subscription isonly $20 for the whole fuckin’ year! It promises to be all the biker entertainment you can handle!

AMERICAN QUANTUM EMPLOYEES SCREWED AGAIN– I attended American Quantum’s federal bankruptcy hearing in Orlando, Fla., on April 3 to object to the sale of motorcycles and other assets to Enzo Aquino of Performance Cycle in Webster, N.Y., also doing business as Aquino’s Auto Service.

Aqunio had contracted to buy the items from Quantum’s inventory for $251,000, which was well below their value. Employees did not object to the sale because the court told them they were the next priority after court expenses. That amount after expenses was $141,000.

Aquino and previous vice presidents of American Quantum, along with the trustee, made the deal. Along comes Joe Hale of International Holdings Inc. and objects to the deal unless he gets money that he believes is owed him and is going to hold up the sale and force Aquino and company to miss Bike Week with their new score.

Somehow things get turned around and the employees are no longer first priority. Aquino gets the bikes for pennies on the dollar, the trustee gets $60,000, Mike McCusker gets $10,000, Joe Hale the $141,000 that was supposed to be for the employees, plus other inventory, leaving nothing at the Quantum address but bare walls and piles of garbage.

As soon as I heard what had happened, I and others filed petitions with the court to stop the deal. Even though the paperwork was received and I received a phone call from the trustee saying he wanted to talk to me about my petition, nothing happened to stop items from being removed while the objections were heard by the court. The trustee and others involved with him were at Quantum the day following his phone call to me, having conversations with Aquino and Quantum X vice presidents who were involved in the sale.

The building was eventually stripped to the walls and everything of value removed prior to the court hearing. Very convenient. And of course the trustee’s lawyer did his soft shoe shuffle for the judge, saying they thought they had the right to do what they did or some such mumbo jumbo.

The bottom line is that the judge at this point did not have much choice but to grant their compromise. I was allowed to speak to the court and informed him that though he had ordered Mr. Mills, the trustee, to send federal bankruptcy Form B10 to all employees so they could file for their lost wages, he had not yet done so. I reminded the judge that at a previous time in his court, he had said that the employees were a priority. It appears that he remembered that as he told the trustee and the attorney again that the employees were in fact the priority. You should have seen the song and dance show Mills and his attorney were having in the hall outside the courtroom trying to answer the questions of the employees. Well, we shall wait and see. Wait for the next episode of Peyton Melbourne and the ongoing Quantum fiasco. Hang tough and ride safe

–ROGUE

THE PERFECT BREAKFAST!–You’re sitting at the table and your son is on the cover of the box ofWheaties, your mistress is on the cover of Playboy and your wife is on theback of the milk carton!

–Alison

Bike show contestant

MARCH BIKERNET SHOW WINNERS–Here they are in all their glory. They will be receiving prizes from Samson, Harley-Davidson, Bikernet and Crime Inc. Congratulations guys!

In the Competition category
Bald-Butt Racing
Carver, Ore.

In the Pro-Street category
Lonnie Essex
Lake Ridge, Va.

In the Radical Custom category
Brian Curlin
Rising Sun, Ind.

In the Ridden category
Don Lawrence
Belle Plaine, Kan.

In the Sportster category
Allan Eby
Austin, Texas

In the Street Custom-Stock category
MC
Omaha, Neb.

In the Vintage category
Ted Babolcsay
Elizaville, N.Y.

In the Vintage Chopper category
Greg Hall
Richmond, Va.

RIDE WITH THE LEADERS — TO THE NATION?S CAPITOL – WEEK NO. 5:??MOTORCYCLE RIDERS FROM ILLINOIS TAKE PRO-SAFETY,PRO-FREEDOM AGENDA TO CONGRESS ? AND THE WHITE HOUSE– In partnership with the Motorcycle Riders Foundation, ABATE of Illinois sent a second contingent to Washington to advance rider rights and safety, and, in the process, made history.

After spending all week briefing the entire Illinois Congressional delegation, ABATE of Illinois was treated by MRF to what may be a first in the history of the motorcyclists? rights movement: a personal meeting with the national policy staff of the Office of the President of the United States in the Old Executive Office Building.

With the White House staff as with Members of Congress, ABATE of Illinois and MRF explained EPA?s call for restrictive regulations on street motorcycles and the threat these regulations pose to individual riders and thousands of workers employed by small businesses in our community. The joint MRF-SMRO team also emphasized the importance of making motorcycle safety a national priority and the need to reverse discrimination in regulations on the Health Care Portability and Accountability Act.

?While countering EPA restrictions remains our top priority, the need for new leadership at the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA) emerged throughout the week as an issue of utmost importance to motorcyclists nationwide,? observed Tom Wyld, MRF vice president for government relations. ?TEA-21 transformed NHTSA?s primary mission from injury reduction to accident prevention, but the agency has not caught on. It continues to embrace injury reduction, including the lobbying of state legislatures to adopt mandatory helmet laws a practice forbidden by TEA-21. Our safety agenda — from a national Motorist Awareness of Motorcycles program to a resource injection to help state-run rider training programs will save lives by preventing accidents. But our safety agenda can succeed only with new leadership at NHTSA committed to making accident prevention the agency?s first and foremost priority.?

The Illinois visit brought the total to 16 U.S. senators and 64 U.S. representatives who have heard the pro-safety, pro-freedom message voiced by the most effective lobbyists in Washington: citizens from back home, constituents who take time from work and family to express their views, in person, to their elected representatives in Congress. Making the difference for motorcyclists? rights and safety last week were Mary Burgett, Sheila Gallagher, Mike May, Linda Pasetti, Ernest Steele, Greg Wagner and Gary Wayman. Leading the Illinois contingent was Cheryl Pearre. ABATE of Illinois visited senators Richard Durbin and Peter Fitzgerald and U.S. representatives Bobby Rush; Jesse Jackson, Jr.; William Lipinski, Luis Gutierrez, Rod Blagojevich, Henry Hyde, Danny Davis, Philip Crane; Janice Schakowsky; Mark Kirk; Jerry Weller; Jerry Costello; Judy Biggert; House Speaker Dennis Hastert, Tim Johnson, Don Manzullo; Lane Evans; Ray LaHood; David Phelps; and John Shimkus.

Thus far, riders from Alaska, Michigan, South Dakota, Oregon, Washington, Wisconsin, North Carolina and Illinois have traveled to the nation?s capitol to advance freedom, with Wisconsin and Illinois sending two contingents. Several New England states, plus Maryland and Indiana, are planning trips in the near future. Says MRF?s Tom Wyld: ?Join them. When the ordinary citizen comes to Washington, extraordinary things happen. You make Washington pay attention, you build new relationships, you change minds, you shape public policy, you make progress.

?Because we face powerful threats to our rights and safety, SMROs should take the most powerful action they can to counter them: a trip to Washington. Ride with the leaders. Plan your joint MRF-SMRO visit today. Call (202) 546-0983.?

BIKE SHOPPE SWITCHES TO ER–I don’t know if you knew it, but KC Creations has joined forces withEasyriders. We are now Easyriders of Kansas City, home of K.C. Creations.?The grand opening is the the weekend of May 11-12, which isFriday and Saturday. We chose Friday and Saturday because Sunday is Mother’s Day. Wewould like to invite the Hamsters. If anyone would like to come, we wouldlove to have you join us. Give Cheryl or Kim Suter a call and they can helpwith accommodations and such.?

–Patty

MASS HELMET LAW TACTICS– Guerrilla tactics are a very effective method for beating your enemyintosubmission. While special operations can take many forms, mis-directionand mis-information are two powerful weapons that can be used to frustrate,confuse and demoralize the opposing side. Special warfare is unconventionaland employs psychological devices to undermine the enemy’s will to resist.It also employs the frequent use of punitive actions in retaliation forsomething done by the enemy. The key to being successful with theimplementation of punitive actions is to develop a plan that accomplishesseveral objectives while utilizing minimal resources.

In the case of House Bill 1263 in Massachusetts, proper implementation ofthe plan will do the following:

1. Discredit the leadership of the pro-motorcycle helmet forces if they donot support the bill.

2. Win the hearts and minds of the citizens who have heretofore eithersupported mandatory motorcycle helmets or remained neutral on the subjectbecause it had no effect on them.

3. Place pro-motorcycle helmet law legislators in a position where theymust support the bill to be consistent, risking the ire of theirconstituents, orchange their position on motorcycle helmets to avoid inconsistency in theirarguments for them.

For the plan to be effective, the public must be made aware of the bill andlegislators must be forced to take a public position for which they can besubsequently held accountable.

The following is a request from MA bikers:We need people to e-mail the Safety Committee to force a response on this.Addresses can be found at www.state.ma.us/legis/comm/j22.htm. Wehave to put the pressure on them and give them an out for the public. Webelieve that a lot of them are on the fence because of public scrutiny onrepeal. By actually giving them this bill in writing, they can go to thepressand say that they had to repeal the mandatory motorcycle helmet law oreveryone would have to wear one.

The folks who submitted the bill believe the possibility of facing suitsforprofiling and discrimination against motorcyclists will have an impact onthedecision-making process. This certainly places legislators in a difficultposition. We urge your participation in writing to the members of thecommittee to applaud the forward thinking and positive safety ramificationsthe bill represents. With so many people being killed or injured in vehiclecrashes, mandatory helmet use will certainly “save more than one life” andhave a significant effect on the burden caused by uninsured and under-insured vehicle operators. This law is one more weapon in the battle toreduce the medical consequences of crashes that seat belts and air bagshave been unable to prevent.

Post Card

HAWG RYDERS SAVE BIKERNET WRITER–Hey Bandit…I promised a friend that I’d pass on his forum info…this is where I’ve been hanging out all winter and it was this bunch of hairy apes that kept me sane through what has proven to be one of the longest, weirdest winters of my life. The site is Hawg Ryders All Harley Tech Forum. It’s in the top ten of Biker Huts Top 100 Sites. I think you can get there through www.delphi.com/hawgryderAnd since these guys are some of my biggest fans 😉 he’s got Bikernet listed under his links… So if you want to cruise through sometime when you have a free moment (Ha ha…like THAT’S gonna happen anytime soon) I know he’d love to have you…

–Deasal

I AM THANKFUL . . . FOR THE HUSBAND WHO COMPLAINS WHEN HIS DINNER IS NOT ON TIME, BECAUSE HE IS HOME WITH ME, NOT WITH SOMEONE ELSE.

FOR THE TEENAGER WHO IS COMPLAINING ABOUT DOING DISHES, BECAUSE THAT MEANS SHE IS AT HOME AND NOT ON THE STREETS.

FOR THE TAXES THAT I PAY, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I AM EMPLOYED.

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY, BECAUSE IT MEANS THAT I HAVE BEEN SURROUNDED BY FRIENDS.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG, BECAUSE IT MEANS I HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT.

–Joli

BOOK SIGNING–Dave Hough has written a safe riding column for a magazine calledMotorcycle Consumer News (888-333-0354) for 20 or 25 years now. Dave hasfinally compiled all these years of data and created a book called”Proficient Motorcycling.” You can bring your own copy of one or all ofhis books for signing or you can buy his new work for $25 and hewill autograph it for you.

The Skagit HOG meeting will be at the Royal Fork in Mt. Vernon on the first Sundayof the month at 9 a.m.. That means that May 6 is their meeting andwill leave after the meeting at approxiamtely 11 a.m. We could meet themthere or at another location on 20 west of Burlington. The Royal Forkis easy to find. Take the College Avenue exit off of I-5, go west to T, turnnorth and it’s about two blocks up on the right. They have breakfastduring their meeting.

We will meet Dave (ETA 2:30 p.m.) at Old Ft. Worden, which is in Pt. Townsend,Wash. It is a pre-WWI fort that is now a state park. They filmed”Officer and a Gentleman” there.I will check on the ferry schedule for Keystone to Pt.Townsend. I am informed by Patrick that you will need $5 for theferry.The Vancouver and Delta HOG Chapters will meet at the first rest areabelow the border on I-5 at 9 a.m. All are welcome.Being a BMW freak, Dave Hough has requested we invite BC Beemers along.We have done more than that, we have invited all of BCCOM. All arewelcome.

Ray Epperhart

RAY EPPERHART’S BUELL–This is Ray Epperhart from SW Cycles, SS 27, Las Vegas 10-98. Thought you’d like another Buell shot. It’s a neat one. I like the colors and the way the smoke sticks to the tire. I stayed home from work today and got some pictures printed. I’m still on a learning curve with my printer, but I discovered a lot about it today. I’ve got a book of 8-by-10 ink jet printouts of some of my better pictures to take with me to the races.

–Helen Wolfe

On to Page 2

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March 29, 2001 Part 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–QUICK VOTE FOR YOUR FREEDOM! (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 1

NEW SAMSON LOGO AND PERFORMANCE TESTING–Watch next week for new performance exhaust testing results. It’s something I’m constantly interested in.

RAY PRICE READIES FOR 2001–The Ray Price Racing Team has had an uncharacteristically slowstart for the 2001 Screamin’ Eagle Nitro Harley season. But all that’s aboutto change.

Price, the senior Harley drag racer, will soon climb on his 170-cubic-inchnitro burning, 800-horsepower, two-wheel rocket to compete with the IHRA atRockingham Dragway this weekend.

Price opted to miss the traditional first race of the season, spending timeat his Speed shop in Raleigh. “Last year we made tremendous horsepower, butwe couldn’t get the power to the ground without breakage. This season it’scost us time on the front end, we’ve re-designed the heads, belt drive,clutch and fuel system. Even the bracketry and the body style will bedifferent. We are striving for reliability this year.”

Crew chief Nick Richendollar is joined this season by Rex Harris, comprisingthe midnight oil burning nitro team. “It hasn’t been uncommon for us to workall week till 3 or 4 in the morning, get a couple hours sleep, a shower andback at it,” according to Price. “We are hoping to get in a couple practicesessions before going to the Rock this weekend.”

Price intends to join Steve Earwood, Rockingham Dragway track owner, and theIHRA management staff at Rockingham Dragway on March 28 for achamber of commerce luncheon. More than 300 local, state and national dignitarieswill be treated to a trackside meal and tour of the internationally renownedrace facility. –www.rayprice.com

ANOTHER CRITICAL VOTING OPPORTUNITY–Let your voice be heard on the subject of the government closing your land. With more than 5,000 responses as of this morning, 76 percent are opposed to Clinton’s land closure. You can increase that percentage.

MSNBC is running another poll to verify support or opposition to theClinton/Gore Roadless Initiative. We need to send the strongest messageto the Bush administration that this effort to circumvent congress shouldnot be implemented.

Make your vote count at:http://www.msnbc.com/news/545197.asp

HELMET VOTE–The News-Journal in Daytona Beach has a poll to vote if you want to put thehelmets back on. May I suggest that you go to the below site and vote NO,http://www.news-journalonline.com/news.htm#poll

BANDIT’S CANTINA TEASER PAGE–If you’re skeptical about joining the Cantina, we snatched the content page from inside and posted it on the outside so you can actually check out the departments. This joint is growing fast, but we’re a flexible bunch. If you think there should be more, let us know.

NOTICESCHEDULING EVIDENTIARY HEARING– for the Quantum Case. I have objected to the trustee’s motion for authority to compromisecontroversy and shorten time. This matter pertains to the selling of motorcycles and other items toAquino’s Auto Service Inc. for $251,000. After payments to various indivuals there was a balance of $141,000.

When I asked the judge at a previous court hearing how money was dispensed,I was told court fees and expenses would be first, then employees’ back pay up to $3,400 each.

In the trustee’s motion, the $141,000 was awarded to InternationalHoldings Inc. (Joe Hale) My argument is that employees should have been paid before Hale.

Hale went to Quantum’s 731 Washburn Road address and removed truckloadsof office equipment and who knows what else. He also made a deal withAquino’s to purchase every thing else in the building. All visible property that was at the Washburn address is beingremoved. Therefore there are no assets to be sold and pay employees. The hearing on this will be held on April 3 at 10:30 a.m. at the UnitedStates Bankruptcy Court, 135 West Central Blvd., Orlando Fla.

It is requested that all interested parties appear at this hearing to let the judge know theirfeelings on this matter. After all, it is your money that is at stake here.

If for some reason you can’t make it, at least write to the judge andlet him know how you feel about this matter and what a hardship it hascaused you.

Honorable Judge Briskman
135 W. Central Ave.
Orlando, Fla. 32802

–ROGUE

FIVE SURGEONS– are discussing who make the best patients to operate on. Thefirst surgeon says, “I lie to see accountants on my operating table, becausewhen you open them up, everything is numbered.”

Second surgeon says; “Yeah,but you should try electricians. Everything inside is color coded.”

Thirdsurgeon; “No, I really think librarians are the best, everything is inalphabetical order.”

Fourth surgeon; “You know, I like construction workers.Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end,and when the job takes longer than you said they’re cool.”

Fifth surgeon;”You are all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s noguts, no heart, no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

PARTY ALERT IN SEATTLE AREA– Just wanted to say hi and let you know that we here at Cyclpath are having a party on June 3. There will be food, drink and bands. There’s more info on the Web site, www.cyclpath.com.–Jeff Carney

BLUE FLAME FOR SALE–I hate to sell any motorcycle, but I’ve been informed that the time to sell is while it’s fresh. If it’s not gone before Laughlin, it will haul my ass through the desert to the island of neon along the Colorado River. The price is $32,500, cheaper than a lot of clones, and packed with class and reliability. Write my sad-to-see-it-go self at Bandit@bikernet.com.

BENTONVILLE, ARK. (AP) — Some Wal-Mart customers soon will be able to sample anew discount item — Wal-Mart’s own brand of wine. The world’s largestretail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of Modesto, Calif., toproduce the spirits at an affordable price; in the $6-$8 range. While wineconnoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart brand wineinto their shopping carts, there is a market for cheap wine, said KathyMicken, professor of marketing at Roger Williams University in Bristol, R.I.”There is wine in a box that people are willing to buy,” she said. “Theright name is important.”

The top 15 suggested names for Wal-Mart Wine:
15. Box O’ Grapes
14. Chateau Traileur Doublewide
13. White Trashfindel
12. Big Red Gulp
11. Grape Expectations
10. Domaine Wal-Mart “Merde du Pays”
9. NASCAbernet
8. Chef Boyardeaux
7. Peanut Noir
6. Blue Light Special Nun
5. Chateau des Moines
4. Martha Stewart’s Sour Grapes
3. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vinegar!

and the No. 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine…
1. Nasti Spumante

Beach ride poster

10TH ANNIVERSARY BEACH RIDE–The Beach Ride benefits the exceptional Children’s Foundation of Los Angeles, one of the largest organizations in Southern California serving children and adults with developmental disabilities. Larry Hagman will be the grand marshal this year. They’ll have three hot bands, a bike show run by Bikernet, a tattoo contest, a Mr. and Mrs. Beach Ride contest, lotsa food and over 150 Vendors. It’s coming July 15th to the San Buena Ventura State Park, Ventura, Calif.

For information on sponsorships, advertising in the 10th anniversary collector’s journal, or for vendor information, call (310) 470-3644. And write me at Bandit@bikernet.com if you’re interested in sponsoring the trophies for $1,000.

ULTRA MOTORCYCLE MAKING HEADWAY– Ultra Motorcycle Co. announced results from the 33rdannual Dealer News International Powersports Dealer Expo held in Indianapolisback in Februrary.Their exhibition of motorcycles netted them around 60 new dealerinquiries, which are currently being reviewed.

The Dealer Expo was attended bynearly half of UMC’s current dealer base, and those in attendance placedmotorcycle orders at the show for approximately 200 units, totaling more than$4 million.

On Feb. 16, at their annual Dealer Conference, the company unveiled itsnewest model, the ”Titanium Series 2.” The differences between the ‘T’series 1 and 2 include 6-gallon stretched gas tanks, cruiser-style handlebar,18-inch front tire and wheel and uniquely styled longer rear fender withdistinctive flip.

I like the idea of more gasoline capacity, especially ifyou travel some of the long runs in the Southern California desert countrywhere fill-ups are far and few between. http://www.bikernet.com/bandit/images/banditandco.gif

ADAM TO EVE– I’ll wear the plants in this family!

THAT’S IT– I just walked out back and discovered that the costly chunk of glass I had cut for John Buttera’s desk is cracked, so I’m ready for a shot. Of course the glass company said I shouldn’t have put it in the sun. Glass in the sun? It wasn’t 78 degrees today on the point. What gives? I’m bummed, but ordered another piece, and we’ll stay on schedule. Damn, somedays I hate learning life’s little lessons.

For some odd reason I’m looking forward to the weekend. I suppose some of it has to do with the sun, motorcycles that run, and women who like to have fun. That spins my wheels every time. Let’s ride–Bandit

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March 29, 2001 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–QUICK VOTE FOR YOUR FREEDOM!
Hey,

I don’t know where to start. The Cantina is cool and growing daily. We’re considering the launch of a drag racing section in the free area, with weekly coverage from Mary Lou and photos from the talented Helen Wolfe. We’re working on the marketing side of Laughlin and made a deal with Joe O’Day to promote the event on Bikernet. The desk is virtually finished. NuttBoy and I picked up the glass yesterday and if the chromer didn’t fib to me, I’ll have the rest of the shiny stuff today. We’ll present the desk to Little John Buttera on Tuesday with great fanfare.

Next we’ll clean up the Blue Flame and put NuttBoy’s ProStreet chassis on the lift and make a list of parts we need. The Dragonfly line is up on the site with the coolest Hawaiian-style shirts known to man. We’ve kicked off an intriguing area in the Cantina where we will feature people and things that are one-of-a-kind. It’s called the Digital Treasure Chest, and you won’t believe some of the shit you’ll see there.

On a personal front, the women are pissed over a girl named Charlee, and I can’t wait until the fog burns off the gray blues hanging over the harbor long enough to blast my ass to Laughlin. Next week we’ll feature the mods to the Buell. We better get to the news before I get in any more trouble.

Laughlin poster

MIGHTY JOHN SIEBENTHALER–created this poster to promote the site in Laughlin. Let me know if you see it on Casino Drive, I’ll be too drunk to see 2 feet in front of me.

END DISCRIMINATION IN HEALTH CARE!–SIGN THE GREEN LETTER!Washington, D.C. — March 26. You can safeguard your right to health care in case of accidental injury by calling your congressman today!

The Motorcycle Riders Foundation encourages you to urge your U.S. representative to sign a letter that encourages Health and Human Services Secretary Tommy Thompson to safeguard motorcyclists from being discriminated against by employer health care plans.?

U.S. Rep. Mark Green of Wisconsin authored and is circulating the letter at the urging of the American Motorcyclist Association. With enough co-signers, the letter will convey to Secretary Thompson that he has the strong backing of Congress to work to reverse the interim final rule, promulgated by the Clinton administration, for the ?non-discrimination? provisions of the Health Care Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA).?

Thus far, these champions of your rights and safety have signed the letter by Rep. Mark Green: U.S. Reps. James Sensenbrenner (R-Wis.), Thomas Barrett (D-Wis.), John Shimkus (R-Ill.), Don Manzullo (R-Ill.), Rod Blagojevich (D-Ill.), Timothy Johnson (R-Ill.), Frank Pallone (D-N.J.), Thomas Petri (R-Wis.) and Mike Rogers (R-Mich.).?

If your congressman appears on this list, call him to thank him at (202) 224-3121.If not, call today, as your congressman?s name belongs on the Green letter.

Here are the facts:
?HIPAA contains language that prohibits health care benefit discrimination against employees who happen to own and use motorcycles.
?Senate floor exchange between Senators Moseley-Braun and Kassebaum on April 18, 1996, confirmed that this language was ?intended to ensure that, among other things, participants and beneficiaries are not excluded from health care coverage because they participate in activities such as motorcycling??
?That language and that understanding became law in 1996 when 421 congressmen and 98 U.S. senators voted to pass HIPAA.
?The regulators who wrote the rule on HIPAA, however, narrowly interpreted the word ?participation? in a way that legalizes the denial of health benefits to motorcyclists who sustain an injury while riding. That narrow interpretation is wrong and directly contrary to congressional intent.

Here?s what to do:
1.Telephone your U.S. representative at (202) 224-3121 now (or reach your congressman via e-mail. See thomas.gov for a directory of addresses.)
2.Explain the situation and urge your representative to sign the ?Dear Colleague? letter authored by Rep. Green.
3.Pass this alert along to three other riders and encourage them to do the same.

Geno's Bike

DEAL OF THE WEEK–This deal was posted in the Cantina last week–we try to give the members a deal a week, so they had first crack at it. The sled belongs to the wild and woolly art director of HORSE MAGAZINE, Geno. It was built by the guys at Choppers Inc. as a magazine project bike, so it’s cool, with the tightest parts available. The rear tire is the biggest baddest puppy alive, and the engine is pure S&S technology. He’s asking $16,500. If you want to know more, call Geno at (561) 394-5353. If you want to steal it, he resides in Boca Raton, but I ain’t givin’ up the address.

BITCH IN THE KITCHEN–A mother was working in the kitchen listening to her son playing withhisnew electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and herson saying, “All of you sons of bitches who want off,get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sonsof bitches who aregetting on, get your asses in the train, cause we’re going down thetracks.”

The horrified mother went in and told her son, “We don’t use that kind oflanguage in this house! Now I want you to go toyour room and you areto stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with yourtrain, but I want you to use nice language.”

Twohours later, the son came out of the bedroom and resumed playing withhis train. Soon the train stopped and the motherheard her son say, “All passengers who are disembarking the train,please remember to take all of your belongings with you.We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasantone. We hope you will ride with us again soon.” Sheheard the little boy continue, “For those of you just boarding, we askyou to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat.Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have apleasant and relaxing journey with us today.”

As themother began to smile, the child added, “For those of you who arepissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see thebitch in the kitchen.”

gold Tanks award

BIKERNET SCORES AWARD–Last week the entire Bikernet staff was honored with the above award at a gala Beverly Hills banquet. From the podium, Jon “The Artist” Towle said, “I coulda drawn a better set of tanks!” Renegade said, “It’s fixed.” And Snake stumbled drunk and busted his lip on the stage. We are most honored.

TWIN CAM TIP– I got some info I thought you might be interested in: Do you have a lot?of takeoff ?Twin Cam 88 cylinders lying around from doing the H-D 95-inch?big bore kits? Well I just found out that STD is making a?single cam (EVO) engine case that has the bolt pattern?for Twin Cam 88 cylinders!?This will?also allow you to use the T.C. heads with these cases.

Some H-D dealers?will take the stock T.C.?cylinders,?bore and hone them to fit the big bore pistons. Most use the 3 7/8-inch big bore cylinders that come in a kit with the pistons. So there are?a fair amount?of these cylinders out there to be used.

You can?open?the stock T.C. cylinders?to 3 7/8-inch bore. This with the EVO stroke of 4 1/4-inches will yield an engine size of 100 inches. The engine will?now?take on a new “Fat” look. You have to get some adapter plates for the heads to accommodate the different pushrod angles, kinda like the old “Shovester” engine conversion done by Trock Cycle a few years back. Contact STD for further info and?for lead time and cost.

Now on to H-D fuel injection: BC Gerolamy is offering a service?for the stock H-D throttle body. What they are doing is boring the two throttle body?ports to 42mm and fittng new throttle plates to them. They alsoredo the port shape for more air flow. Doing this and using the Dyno-jet Power Commander will allow you to use more cam and get much better air flow into that big bore engine!

They also offer a service for the Buell throttle body. Their Web site is: www.bcheads.com. Check em out. Speaking of Buells. Do you have an X1 and want more HP? Well so far about all you can do is put on the Buell race kit. The maps in the Buell race kit ECM right now don’t allow for too much modification. Well the high-performance Screamin’ Eagle cams have a total lift of .536.?The stock Buell X1 cams are in the .495?range. To use the large cam set for more air/power, you can use the Dyno Jet Power Commander to give that extra fuel?the engine will require. Also the throttle body will have to be bored by Gerolamy. The Buell throttle body uses an automotive-type fuel injector.

People are starting to use the Buell fuel injection for road racing this year. So there will be a lot more info on this fuel injection system?in the near future. That’s all for now.–Paul

Bike show contestant

FREE BIKE SHOW ENTRIES–Our Cyber Bike Show is heating up and it’s absolutely free. Here’s Dennis’ entry for the month of March. Check out the bikes, the winners and the sponsors. Crazy Horse now manages the show, and Oz is the judge, so don’t blame me. We’ll post the March winners next week.

LAUGHLIN’S COMIN’–It’s headed this way like a sand storm. For room availability, call Dal-Con Productions at (909) 340-0096. I mention the room thing because the following reader is looking for a room: tbourne@tagitpacific.comGot rooms for Laughlin anyone?And how much please?thanks–T. See you there April 26-29. Be there, be there, be there.

CANTINA FEATURES FAMOUS IRON AND LACE CALENDAR GIRLS– How come there’s no mention of it (Iron & Lace Calendar pictorial by Jim Gianatsis/FastDates.com -the top custom bikes in America with beautiful centerfolds from Penthouse and Playboy) outside the Cantina?

There ya go, Jim. So where’s my image to post with this stunning news?–Bandit

INNOVATION STRIKES AT BIKERNET–Phoenix correspondent at AMI school for accredited H-D mechanics reports the following: I have an idea about a new type of braking system and wondered if you or Wrench would have any ideas:

Instead of using conventional rotors, one could use a rubber belt (similar to that of a battle-tank), spinning at an equal rate as the rotor, but in the opposite direction. Obviously this would require the use of an additional driveshaft (or similar means of transfering the spin from the rear axle, or other source, to the brake pad), and would probably require additional maintenance. This would however, greatly reduce the time and distance required to stop a moving wheel.

Side note: one could also use spinning cylinders of equal width to the rotor surface that traverse up and down (parallel to the rotor surface) and are applied to the rotor surface utilizing the brake lever and master cylinder. I can only forsee one possible disadvantage: The movement of the rotor against the pad would efectively be increased to double the speed of the wheel. This may cause problems with the reliablity of the system, as, at such a high rate of speed, the pad may hydroplane and lose traction. (possible workaround?)

Additional side-note: The entire system may need to be completely enclosed (rotor and pad system). This would provide two advantages: 1. The cosmetic aspect of black rubber residue on a rotor aren’t exactly eye-pleasing. 2. This would allow the protection of the entire system from debris and foreign objects, and allow the entire surface of the rotor to be utilized for friction (possibly using a system of miniature axles similar to a snake drive).

Second additional side-note: I have been thinking about using either a drum-type braking surface or disc-type braking surface, but I’m waiting for additional comments before deciding which.

–Torch

Wrench thinks you’re fuckin’ nuts.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA IF–You have a very strong opinion about where yourcoffee beans are grown, and can taste the difference between Sumatran andEthiopian.

You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula.

You can’t remember… is pot legal?

A really great parking space can move you totears.

Doug Vancil

DRAG RACING NOTES–Doug Vancil, Top Fuel 40 from Albuquerque, N.M., is the current AHDRA national points leader with a score of 138 after the Orlando H-D Bike Week Nationals, where he set a new ET?record of 6.616 seconds. He held the No. 2 plate during last year’s competition.

Jims award

The next closest scorer is Tony Mattioli, Top Fuel 9 (and 27) of Middlegrove, N.Y., with 97 points. Mattioli also runs a Pro Fuel bike No. 20 and?holds the MPH record of 199.21, set on it in?October ’98 at Las Vegas.

Johnny Mancuso, Top Fuel 535 of Houston, Texas, holds the Top Fuel?record of 210.18 MPH set at Las Vegas Dragstrip last October.

–Helen Wolfe

TATTOO VOTING–Now is your chance to vote for the ‘Best Tattoo Artist in the World’ to achieve *** The Golden Star Award ***! Click here to vote: http://goldenstarawards.com

Each of the 10 categories has five nominees who have been carefully selected for their extraordinary artwork on skin over the past decade.

Winners will be presented at the Biggest Tattoo Show on Earth Sept. 28 – 30 2001 in New Jersey: http://starlighttattoo.com/news.shtml#biggest

BUBBA IS LIVE– Wanted to let you know: www.bubbablackwell.com is online. Bubba Blackwell, the daredevil who is breaking every record Evel ever set and doing it without breaking every bone in his body, will have BIG news for us real soon….. “I am about to chew a hole in mytongue from not telling anyone yet….” Bubba told Bandit.

PARTS ON LINE–Need parts? The Chrome Specialties catalog is right here for you.

MOTARTCYCLE, STURGIS 2001–July 30-Sept. 7An exhibition of motorcycle related artwork, juried by internationally knownphotographer Michael Lichter, painter David Uhl, and Ron Segal of SegalFine Art.MotARTcycle! will take place during the 2001 Sturgis Rally at the ApexGallery on the campus of South Dakota Tech.

Calendar:
May 7: Postmark deadline for slides.
June 8: Juror?s notification mailed.
July 13: Deadline for receipt of work.
July 27: MotARTcycle! opens.
Aug: Reception date to be scheduled, during Sturgis Rally.
Sept. 7: Last day to view
MotARTcycle!
Sept. 21: Artwork returned, pick up of hand delivered work.

Entry Fee:A non-refundable entry fee of $10 for the first slide and $5for each additional slide. Limit four.

HANNON RACING SAYS–“Bring ’em on— BIG NITRO BOYS-April 8- ?BradentonMotor Sports Park”

Bill Hannon of Hannon Racing says, “We are lookingforward to racing against the BIG NITRO BOYS of FLORIDA, in the spirit ofgood fun and showmanship, all in the name of the UNITED WAY. We are going todo our best to show the crowd that gas isn’t just for washing parts.” Theevent will be held at Bradenton Motor Sports Park in Bradenton, Fla., on April 8.

Hannon, owner of the quickest and fastest Pro Stock Harley-Davidson in theworld, challenges all Florida teams to compete in the event presented by RickRossiter of Rossiter’s Harley-Davidson, Sarasota, Fla. and the FloridaHarley-Davidson Dealer’s Assoc.

Bradenton Motor Sports Park is located on Hwy. 64 east of Bradenton. Gateswill open at 9 a.m.; competition begins at 1 p.m.

Teams wishing to pre-register should call:Rick Rossiter’s at (941) 342-0040Bradenton Motor Sports Park at (941) 748-1320 ??????????Hannon at (941) 463-2778,?or check out www.hannonracing.com

MODERN TERMS–IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example. Bill Clinton’s video grand jury testimony is another.PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the heck out of an electronic device to get it to work again.YUPPIE FOOD STAMPS: The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal, “We each owe $8, but all anybody’s got are yuppie food stamps.”SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

Continued on Page 2

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March 22, 2001 Part 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–QUESTION OF THE CENTURY–TWO WOMEN OR ATTEND BEVERLY HILLS BIKE SHOW? (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 2

JimsBanner

JIMS AND BANDIT WORKING ON BANDIT LINE–With the assistance of C.J. Allan, the engraver, we’re working on a line of completely unique Evolution motor covers. We may have something to look at next week.

A WOMAN–was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always camehome late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

“Take my advice,” said the neighbor, “and do what I did.Once my husband came home at three o’clock in the morning, and from mybed, I called out, ‘Is that you, Jim?’ And that cured him.”

“Cured him!” asked the woman, “but how?”

The neighbor said, “You see, his name is Bill.”

–BillV

WANGO TANGO–Here’s a shot of my scoot “Wango Tango” for your site, if it passesinspection. It’s a 93-inch stroked Shovel. All critical parts cryo treatedand dry filmed. S&S cases, Super “g”, dual plugged heads that wereextensively reworked by Blower, Velvatouch lifters, S&S 514 cam, Dyna “s”single fire with ugly but good Compufire 4 plug single unit coil.

Stock H-D mags with GMA calipers and rotors front and rear. Maxxus V-ratedtires and it needs them!1978 4-speed tranny rebuilt by Blower with Hayden M-6 [love that damnedthing] and Barnett clutch. Pipes are different now and it’s being changedcurrently including new fenders and paint. I’ll send it along soon!

STATS AND STATS–Number of physicians in the U.S. = 700,000

Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year = 120,000
Accidentaldeathsper physician = 0.171 (U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services)
Number of gun owners in the U.S. = 80,000,000
Number of accidental gundeaths per year (all age groups) = 1,500
Accidental deaths per gun owner = 0.0000188 (U.S. Bureau of Alcohol,Tobacco and Firearms)
Therefore, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gunowners.I think we can apply this to helmets also.

–Loren

VICTORY MOTORCYCLES’ MARC HOFFMAN ZONED– Mark Blackwell, general manager of the VictoryMotorcycles division of Polaris Industries, announced that Marc Hoffman hasbeen appointed to the position of zone sales manager for the sales territorythat encompasses 10 north-central states.Hoffman serves as a business partner to Victory dealers in his territory,ensuring that they utilize all Victory sales and marketing programs to fulladvantage and helping them establish and attain their sales goals.”Marc understands the challenges dealers face every day and will be anexcellent resource for them,” said Blackwell. “He began his career workingat the retail level and understands all aspects of sales and dealershipoperations. I believe Marc has the knowledge, drive, and interpersonalskills needed to work with our Victory dealers and help ensure their successin the coming years.”

MURPH WILL APPRECIATE THIS ONE–A couple are attending an art exhibit and they are looking at a portrait that has them a little taken aback. The picture depicts three very black, very naked men sitting on a park bench; two have a black penis and the one in the middle has a pink penis.

As the couple looks somewhat puzzled at the picture, the Irish artist walks by and says, “Can I help you with this painting? I?m the artist who painted it.”

The man says “Well, we like the painting but don?t understand why you have three African men on a bench, and the one in the middle has a pink penis, while the other two have black penises.”

The artist says, “Oh you are misinterpreting the painting. They?re not African men, they are Irish coal miners and the one in the middle went home for lunch.”

THOUGHTS TO PONDER–I am ready to meet my maker. Whether or not my maker is prepared for thegreat ordeal of meeting me is another matter. –Winston Churchill

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender says,”What is this, some kind of joke?”

When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.

Adam to Eve: I’ll wear the plants in this family!

–Jolihttp://www.bikernet.com/bandit/images/banditandco.gif

PROMOTION IS THE KEY– That’s why as a birthday present Oz had the Bikernet logo plastered on the home page of the Malibu Times. So next week we’ll launch our newest department: Bandit Goes Surfing, or Bandit Meets Annette.

WHERE WAS I? Oh, yeah. Three women for a day. My fingertips were all a twitter. But what about the bike show, the bros? The chances of selling the Blue Flame would be high amongst those who have cash to burn. I couldn’t decide, so I shifted my libido into nuetral, an emotional holding pattern over fresh sheets and waited. You know women. Their minds could change at the drop of a hairpin. I wasn’t going to hold my breath.

I polished the Blue Flame, but bowed out on shipping the racer to the show. Saturday night slipped by in a fog and Sunday arrived with the phone ringing. “We’re meeting at the coffee shop…”

“I’ll ride out a little later,” I returned.

The phone kept ringing and I kept bobbing and weaving. Just about the time I found my gloves there was a tentative tap on the front door. I knew it was Sin. I bolted down the hallway and there they all stood, the sun glistening in their hair and pretty pert smiles tripping across their faces. Each one wore an outfit that said undress me, quick. So I unplugged the phone and let them in.

Still had enough energy to hit Bike Night on Signal Hill on Tuesday.

–Let’s ride, Bandit

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March 22, 2001 Part 2

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–QUESTION OF THE CENTURY–TWO WOMEN OR ATTEND BEVERLY HILLS BIKE SHOW? (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 1

BANDIT’S CANTINA ORDERING GLITCH SOLVED–As a demonstration of the professionalism of Bikernet, here’s an actual complaint scenario recieved moments after the Cantina was opened:

“Hey, what about us poor, bankrupt mf’ers who don’t have a credit card tojoin the Cantina club? I really want in. Can’t you set up a form to send amoney order?”

Fuck man, I’ll fix it. I swear. I really fucked up bad, here. Do me a favor bro, don’t tell Bandit. I’ll post a form so you can drop a check in the mail. Hey, I’m all over it. I swear. Just please don’t tell the big bastard. He’ll kill me. Promise me man. It’ll be done in minutes.

Praying for a reprieve,
Digital Ganster

Thanks Digital, my check is in the mail! Ha! Ha!Bandit has the BEST site on the net and I bet the Cantina iseven better.That’s enough ass-kissing for this week.I appreciate your prompt action on this matter.

–J.H.

A HELPING HAND–One day, farmer Williams was in town picking up supplies for hisfarm. He stopped by the hardware store and picked up a bucket and ananvil. Then he stopped by the livestock dealer to buy a couple ofchickens and a goose.However, he now had a problem, how to carry all of his purchaseshome.

The livestock dealer said: “Why don’t you put the anvil in thebucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each armand carry the goose in your other hand?”

“Hey, thanks!” the farmer said, and off he went.While walking he met a little old lady who told him she was lost.

Sheasked: “Can you tell me how to get to 123 Township Road?”

The farmer said: “Well, as a matter of fact, I live at 132 TownshipRoad. Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be therein no time”

The little old lady said: “How do I know that when we get in thealley you won’t hold me up against the wall, pull up my skirt andravish me?”

The farmer said: “Holy smokes lady, I am carrying a bucket, an anvil,two chickens and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold youup against the wall and do that?”

The lady said: “Set the goose down, cover him with the bucket, putthe anvil on top of the bucket, and I can hold the chickens.”

–WHO

Crime Inc. Ts

NEW FROM CRIME INC.–We must apologize for the models. Make sure you check out the new stuff from Crime Inc. in the Bikernet Gulch. The shots are entertaining, and here in the Pedro Ghetto it’s easy to pick up a couple of winos for models. Five bucks and a new T-shirt and they thought is was Christmas all over again. Tough to get ’em to stand still for very long.

THE AIM/NCOM MOTORCYCLE E-NEWS SERVICE is brought to you by Aid to InjuredMotorcyclists (AIM) and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM),and is sponsored by the law offices of Richard M. Lester. For moreinformation, call us at (800) ON-A-BIKE. Visit us on our Web site at <http://www.aimncom.com/>.

“BEST BIKE WEEK EVER!” Despite the gloom and doom predictions of themedical and insurance industries, and some politicians hoping for anyjustification to reinstate Florida’s recently repealed helmet law, thisyear’s Bike Week resulted in only six official traffic fatalities, almost athird of last year’s record number of 15 traffic deaths.”Authorities had worried that this Bike Week would be deadlier thanusual because it’s the first one since Florida repealed its helmet law,”noted the St. Petersburg Times.Two of the six fatalities were pedestrians — one was a drunk homelessperson struck by a motorcycle when he staggered into the street.

An estimated 500,000 bikers poured into the Daytona, Fla., area for the64th Annual Bike Week, and many of them took advantage of Florida’s newly wonright to decide on helmet use.ABATE of Florida Inc. succeeded in modifying the 31-year old mandatoryhelmet law to allow freedom of choice for riders 21 and older who can showproof of medical insurance coverage. The law became effective July 1,making Florida the fifth state in five years to repeal a helmet law.

MASSACHUSETTS BILL WOULD REQUIRE EVERYONE TO WEAR A HELMET. As reportedhere last month, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts has a bill introduced torequire the use of protective headgear for drivers and passengers of allmotor vehicles. Motorcyclists’ rights activists are pushing H1263 to drawattention to the Commonwealth’s current mandatory motorcycle helmet law, andthey want legislators to be aware of the fact that over 90 percent of allautomobile crashes result in a head injury, and that the state could saveuntold millions of dollars in public burden by requiring all vehicleoccupants to wear a DOT-approved helmet.

OREGON UPDATE. “Our Oregon helmet bill I believe is about to pass ourHouse,” reports Oregon AIM Attorney Sam Hochberg, “but we’re holding it incommittee in the Senate until we’re sure we have the votes. Problem is, thesame governor who vetoed it in the last two sessions has come out and said hewould veto it again.

“So,” says Sam, “BikePAC is really focusing more on other bills:One would allow lane-splitting, another would allow motorcyclists to filltheir own gas tanks, which we USUALLY do now anyway, in spite of our law thatsays NO self-serve. We’re one of two states — the other is New Jersey –that forbid self-serve.”

ILLINOIS CONSIDERS HELMET LAW Although no state has enacted a motorcyclehelmet law since Maryland in 1992, Illinois lawmakers are considering a billto require riders under the age of 18 to wear a helmet. Illinois is one ofonly three states that have no helmet law covering younger riders. Coloradoand Iowa are the other two that have no helmet law on the books.

Two Chicago area legislators are reportedly pushing the helmet law inretaliation for ABATE of Illinois heading off a City Council attempt to banmotorcycles on certain Chicago streets, primarily Lake Shore Drive.Rep. Julie Hamos (D-Chicago) introduced HB3084, which passed 7-0 incommittee and will now go to the House Floor. Sen. Donne Trotter(D-Chicago) is carrying a similar bill in the state Senate.”Don’t expect this to go anywhere, though,” predicted Rich Miller inthe political insider publication “Capitol Fax” on March 5.

NEW MEXICO REPEALS HANDLEBAR HEIGHT LAW Gov. Gary Johnson signed abill into law on March 12 that repeals sections of the vehicle code thatrestrict the height of motorcycle handlebars, making New Mexico the fifthstate to repeal or amend its handlebar height law. The other four statesare Iowa, Arizona, Oregon and Washington. The repeal becomes effective July1.

Most states enacted handlebar height laws in the ’60s to give lawenforcement officers justification to stop and harass bikers because of thehigh handlebars on their choppers. Rep. Rick Miera, a long time rider and member of the NationalCoalition of Motorcyclists’ Legislative Task Force, introduced and carriedthe bill. Miera also introduced a bill to allow special motorcycle licenseplates for veterans and disabled veterans, which he said he expects to pass,and a biker anti-discrimination bill that is still being heard.

Wino Joe's place

DISC JOCKEYS SUSPENDED FOR ENDANGERING BIKERS “A pair of San Joseafternoon radio deejays who said on the air that motorists should open cardoors or run over motorcyclists and bicyclists were suspended from KSJO-FM,”reported the San Jose Mercury News on Feb. 21.Kramer and Twitch were the subject of several angry complaints frombicycle and motorcycle organizations, including the National Coalition of Motorcyclists.

SENATOR BEN CAMPBELL TO TAKE HILLARY CLINTON ON A HARLEY RIDE Just whenshe may need it most, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton could get a new image:biker babe.It’s all thanks to U.S. Sen. Ben Nighthorse Campbell (R-Colo.), America’sNo. 1 motorcycle advocate. Campbell recently told of his plans to transformthe former first lady into a biker.

Strange Tank(woman)

EASY BITER By devising “The Easy Biter,” an invention thatincorporates a set of motorcycle handlebar grips that make revving soundswhile corn lovers nibble on their ears more easily, young Nicholas Kretschmerof Hales Corner, Wis., was crowned the winner of the National Veggie EatingInvention Contest held at the U.S. Patent and Trademark Museum last year.

NOW BOARDING Explaining luggage regulations to passengers can beaggravating for flight attendants. One day a woman tried to board with anenormous bag. The lead flight attendant told her why it would not fit, butthe woman argued that her bag was a “carry-on” because it had wheels and ahandle. Without blinking, the attendant said, “My Honda has wheels and ahandle, but that doesn’t make it a carry-on.”READERS DIGEST, Contributed by Analyse DavisTHOUGHT FOR THE DAY: “A plan to save humanity is almost always a falsefront for the urge to rule.” H. L. Mencken

–Bill Bish, NCOM

Continued on Page 3

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March 22, 2001 Part 1

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–QUESTION OF THE CENTURY–TWO WOMEN OR ATTEND BEVERLY HILLS BIKE SHOW?
It was one of those deep, haunting questions that plagues mankind. The calls started pouring into the headquarters a couple months ago. “Are you coming to Mercedes of Beverly Hills Promotional Car and Bike Show?” First I hesitated. Beverly Hills, what self respecting biker wants to be seen where hubcaps are gold and Porche’s are a dime a dozen? Then the good Dr. Hamster called, and I said alright. He was going to muster a trailer and haul some bikes to the show and we could ride in the day of the extravaganza on the green. That fell through, but Don Center of Iron Horse Trikes in New Mexico called and told me he was rolling in to show off his latest monster trike (see it featured on the Home Page). He volunteered to unload his shit and come after mine.

Don's full trailer

Note the logo on the front of the trailer.

As the fever grew, so did my excitement. I was determined to ship my 1939 Milwaukee Iron flat-track racer to the field and ride the Blue Flame. Don was on his way when I got a call from Sin Wu. She had been toying with her Epson digital camera and had promised to deliver a couple of girls to the headquarters to pose in the new Dragonfly Hawaiian shirts that we were going to carry. She called the night before the show. “Remember that weekend?”

“No, what weekend?” I shot back.

“That weekend,” her voice lowered, “we spent all weekend in bed?”

“Hell, that’s every weekend.” I was trying to finish an article and go for a ride, and she was dragging this thing out.

“Not like that, honey,” Sin said, and her voice dropped to a sad wisper, like a child who cleaned her room and I failed to notice. Every syllable was like a piece of ice on the back of my neck. I woke up.

“I’m sorry baby, of course I remember that weekend. Remember the warm honey?” I added the detail to let her know I was back on track.

“Thank you babe,” she said. “Well, I have a surprise for you. On Sunday I’m bringing two intimate friends from college over to party with us. Oh, and they’ll pose wearing the Dragonfly shirts.”

I got all tingly, like a 13 year-old going to Disneyland for the first time. My mind started to race, then I remembered the bike show… We better get to the news:

Beach ride poster

10TH ANNIVERSARY BEACH RIDE–It’s coming like the salt off the ocean and this year it will be better than ever. The Beach Ride benefits the exceptional Children’s Foundation of Los Angeles, one of the largest organizations in Southern California serving children and adults with developmental disabilities. Larry Hagman will be the grand marshal this year. They’ll have three hot bands, a bike show run by Bikernet, a tattoo contest, a Mr. and Mrs. Beach Ride contest, lotsa food and over 150 Vendors. It’s coming July 15th to the San Buena Ventura State Park, Ventura, Calif.

For information on sponsorships, advertising in the 10th anniversary collector’s journal, or for vendor information, call (310) 470-3644. And write me at Bandit@bikernet.com if you’re interested in sponsoring the trophies for $1,000. TP Engineering

WOW–The guy who designed the above ad for TP Engineering designed our billboard and is working on a poster for Laughlin. TP Engineering has sealed a deal to supply Big Dog with more than 800 engines. That’s a helluva compliment and vote of confidence from the best custom bike manufacturer in the country.

YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA, IF–You make over $250,000 a year and still can’t afford a house.

It’s sprinkling outside, so you leave for work anhour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.

Your child’s third grade teacher has purple hair,a nose ring and is named Breeze.

You can’t remember… is pot legal?

You’ve been to a baby shower for an infant whohas two mothers and a sperm donor.

DOWNED BROTHER– A bro from K.C., Mo., e-mailed me and told me that Chuck Ashley just died. He was awaitng a bypass operation the next day, I was told. Chuck worked for Titan about two years ago and ran the motor room there. He is in one of Eric Herrmann’s paintings. Chuck finally got his own shop going again. He was located a couple of blocks from GlendaleH-D. When I last saw him he was doing the motors for Jim Nasi’s custom bikes.

Chuck was originally from the Modesto, Calif., area. I did some welding for him while he was at Titan — engine repair shit, cyl, cases, tools, etc. He was a walking book of knowledge on a lot of things, along with his H-D background. Alwayswas a lot of help when you had questions. I thought he was a genuine bro. You always knew where he stood on things, no bullshit. He will be missed by many.

I guess Arizona Bike Week is coming up soon. Again, I can’t make it. My bro from K.C. is going. I went last year. Miss seeing my buddies out there. If you go, check out Chandler H-D/Buell. It’s a new dealership. It’s owned by the corporation that owns Glendale H-D and Tucson H-D. That’s it for now man. Just wanted to pass on the news about Chuck.

— Paul

NOTICESCHEDULING EVIDENTIARY HEARING– for the Quantum case. I have objected to the trustee’s motion for authority to compromisecontroversy and shorten time. This matter pertains to the selling of motorcycles and other items toAquino’s Auto Service Inc. for $251,000. After payments to various individuals, there was a balance of $141,000.

When I asked the judge at a previous court hearing how money was dispensed,I was told court fees and expenses would be first, then the next prioritywould be employees’ back pay up to $3,400 each.

In the trustee’s motion, the $141,000 was awarded to InternationalHoldings, Inc. (Joe Hale) My argument is that employees should have been paid before Hale. Hale went to Quantum’s office at 731 Washburn Road and removed truckloadsof office equipment and who knows what else. He also made a deal withAquino’s to purchase everything else in the building.

All visible property that was at the Washburn address is beingremoved. Therefore, no assets are to be sold to pay employees. The hearing on this will be held on April 3 at 10:30 a.m. at the UnitedStates Bankruptcy Court, 135 West Central Blvd., Orlando Fla. It is requested that everyone appear at this hearing to let the judge know yourfeelings on this matter. There is plenty of time to make arrangements to attend this hearing.

If for some reason you just can’t make it, at least write to the judge andlet him know how you feel about this matter and what a hardship it hascaused you.

Honorable Judge Briskman
135 W. Central Ave.
Orlando, Fla. 32802

I am hoping to see all of you in Orlando and please tell everyone you know.

–ROGUE

FIVE SURGEONS– are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on. Thefirst surgeon says, “I like to see accountants on my operating table becausewhen you open them up, everything is numbered.”

Second surgeon says, “Yeah,but you should try electricians. Everything inside is color coded.”

Thirdsurgeon: “No, I really think librarians are the best, everything is inalphabetical order.”

Fourth surgeon: “You know, I like construction workers.Those guys always understand when you have a few parts left over at the end,and when the job takes longer than you said, they’re cool.”

Fifth surgeon:”You are all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There’s noguts, no heart, no spine, and the head and butt are interchangeable.”

DON’T MISS THE PARTY– Just wanted to let you know that we here at cyclpath are having a party on June 3, with food, drink and a band. More information is coming soon to the Web site, www.cyclpath.com. Thanks and hope to meet you some time if I have not already!

–Jeff Carney

SURVIVOR 3– Rated PG. A major network is planning the show “Survivor 3” this winter. In response, Texas is planning “Survivor, Texas Style.” The contestants will start in Dallas, travel through Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston, and down to Brownsville. They will proceed up to Del Rio, on to El Paso, then to Midland/Odessa, Lubbock, and Amarillo. From there, they proceed to Abilene, and on to Ft. Worth and back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with a bumper sticker that reads, “I’m gay, I voted for Al Gore, and I’m here to confiscate your guns.”

The first one to make it back to Dallas wins.

DEVIL DOLLS HAUNT CANTINA–“Devilish Chaos in the Cantina!” Gawd, I love it..Hey, can I write a fictional (yeah, sure) story about a damsel in distress being rescued by the Devil Dolls? Or better yet, a kidnap/fantasy scenario involving the Dolls and the really handsome but oh- so-brutal rebel boy club?

Love,
Goth rock star
ddmc

My God, what will be next?–Bandit

draginfly-sam

DRAGONFLY HAWAIIAN SHIRTS HIT BIKERNET–We’ve selected 12 styles of Dragonfly’s hot lineup of wild-assed Hawaiian shirts for the coming summer. These shirts are killer, and if you like them, we’ll take on more styles. They’re 100 percent polyester or 100 percent acetate/rayon for that heavy satin look. Besides, they’ll look good draped over your girlfriend the morning after. What does Samantha look like the morning after…? Like the tattoo around her thigh.

ITALIAN CONNECTION–for antique bikes. If you have one for sale, he’ll also look into taking it on. Check out his extensive collection.

THE BIKERNET EDUCATIONAL AND CULTURAL DEPT. BRINGS YOU–Modern terminology for the hip and with-it.

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and everyone — and then leaves.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

On to Page 2

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March 15, 2001 Part 4

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BANDIT’S CANTINA DUE TO LAUNCHFRIDAY, MURDER AND INTRIGUE ABOUNDS (CONTINUED)
Continued from Page 3

TELEPHONE SCAM ALERT–I received a telephone call last evening from an individual identifying himself as an AT&T service technician who was conducting a test ontelephone lines. He stated that to complete the test, I should touchnine(9), zero(0), the pound sign (#), and then hang up.

Luckily I wassuspicious and refused. Upon contacting the telephone company, I wasinformed that by pushing 90#, you give the requesting individual fullaccessto your telephone line, which enables them to place long distancecallsbilled to your home phone number. I was further informed that thisscamhas been originating from many local jails/prisons. I have alsoverifiedthis information with UCB Telecom, Pacific Bell, MCI, Bell Atlantic andGTE. Please beware. DO NOT press 90# for anyone. The GTE SecurityDepartment requested that I share this information with everyone I know.

DEAL OF THE WEEK–They are Atlantic Technology Speaker System Sets Atlantic Technology, makers of high-end home theater speakers and equipment, introduces an incredible set of high-end computer/multimedia speakers with sub woofer and stands.This is an outstanding speaker system that retails for $360.I am selling them for $85 a pair, plus $10 shipping.I have 800 pairs and will also consider a quanity price break. Contact me at: mailto:thequeen@corderostudios.com

–Just call me the peddle princess!

?Fit for Golf? Bootcamp–How’s this for a Bikernet exclusive? Dr. Hamster is writing a book on pain-free golf. Along with the book comes a personal seminar, and here’s his L.A. location.

Want more distance and better scores? Then improve your fitness and physical conditioning! In this workshop you will learn what top players in the game are doing to condition their bodies and swing for the maximum performance. Drills and exercises to improve stamina and strength and overall scoring potential. Taught by sports physician Christian Reichardt, aka Dr. Hamster, and PGA tour instructor, Bob Cisco. Vital to play your best golf!

Results you can expect:
– more flexibility, strength and endurance
– more distance and accuracy
– less pain and soreness
– a better game!

Dates: Saturday, March 24
Time: 10 a.m. to 4 p.m.Location: Cascade Golf Course, Sylmar where the 405/5/210 freeways meet
Cost: $195 per person
For reservations, call Dr. Reichardt at (310) 829-0453

“Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy!”— Benjamin Franklin

PARACHUTIST LANDED ON BEER VENDOR– at acoleslaw wrestling match during central Florida’s raucous “Bike Week”celebration, seriously injuring the vendor, sheriff’s deputies said.

The accident occurred on Wednesday afternoon at Sopotnick’s CabbagePatch bar in Samsala, which sponsors an annual coleslaw wrestling.

Just before the women wrestlers squared off in a pit full of cabbageand oil, a sky diver hired to parachute into the makeshift arena was blown off courseby high winds. The victim, Sherri Lee, 37, waswalking with a tray full of beer near the beverage concession, where she andother members of a local charity were working.

“We yelled, ‘Move, dummy,’ but she never looked up because it happenedso quick,” biker Dave “D.R.” Paul told the Orlando Sentinel.

–FastEddy

Jim McClure

MCCLURE MOVED–Maybe Out on Monday.Moments after she arrived at her Florida home, about an hour from the Orlando hospital, Phyllis McClure received a call that Jim would be moved to a room late Friday night.

“Today was a really long day. I’m just beat. But this is great news. They’re moving him tonight. They’ll give him a big dose of medicine so he’ll sleep through the night after all of that moving around. If everything goes like it’s been going, they may release him on Monday.”

“I figure that by the Richmond race, he’ll be ready. We’ll work with our orthopedic doctor at home as soon as we get there. Unfortunately, there’s no way we can run Rockingham.”

To send the McClures a note, go to www.jimmcclure.com. A postal address for cards, etc. will be posted as soon as possible.

I love this job…. all the bikes, booze and sex I can read about.

–JANET CREAMER

ESCAPE TO THE CANTINA–It’s coming down to the bottom line. We’re about to finish the Buttera desk, and for some reason I seem caught up on the numerous deadlines that plague me like a recurring flu, but I love it. Even more I love the touch of a woman, a glass of Jack and a smooth running engine.

We’re planning to ride to the Beverly Hills Bike Show this weekend to rub elbows with the rich and expensive. On second thought, I might just ride on by and blaze back to the ghetto on the coast and … we’ll see.

Enjoy the weekend, it’ll never come around again, and for everyone’s hard work and dedication, join the Cantina. If for nothing else, Jon Towle’s illustrations are priceless. Let’s ride–Bandit

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March 15, 2001 Part 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–BANDIT’S CANTINA DUE TO LAUNCHFRIDAY, MURDER AND INTRIGUE ABOUNDS (CONTINUED)

Continued from Page 2

DALLAS EASYRIDERS ROCKS–The Dallas Easyriders newsletter just arrived. I’m glad Rick’s (the owner with his wife Tina and my sixth wife Lena) code for writing is not the same as mine. “You know, the more I drink, the better I write,” Rick said recently while eyeing his lovely wife. “I remember why I married her 18 years ago. She looks great with a six-pack in her hand.”

Rick’s Strokers Ice House next to the shop will soon be serving hard liquor, so I’ll be headed back out there to tune up my writing inspiration.

Rick carries what his experience tells him are the top- of-the-line custom manufactured scoots: Big Dog runs a strong first, followed by American Iron Horse, and he’s having good luck with Victory. Whether you want to have your bike serviced, a ground-up built, your scoot detailed, want to rent a scoot, or party, Rick and his family have what you need to get the most out of being a biker. Besides, the fucker’s nuts. Go visit him and take him some riding inspiration when ya do–Miller Lite.

HER WISH, OUR COMMAND–I would love it if you would post my boyfriend’s ’52 Panhead.

HARLEY-DAVIDSON SUPERBIKE RACING– Begins Rebuilding Season with Best-EverFinish at Daytona.

Harley-Davidson’s VR 1000 Superbike racingprogram began its rebuilding season with a solid performance at DaytonaInternational Speedway on Sunday. Mike Smith finished seventh and Pascal Picottefinished 32nd after running in the top 10 for most of the race. Picotte wasin sixth place when a mechanical problem sidelined him in the final laps ofthe 200-mile AMA Superbike season opener. Mat Mladin of Australia won theevent, followed by Eric Bostrom and Kurtis Roberts, both from the UnitedStates.

“We ran a conservative race set-up,” said Director of Racing John Baker.”Our goal was to finish this race and continue our development efforts aimedat improving the performance of the VR 1000.”Smith, who posted the VR’s best-ever finish at Daytona, had to be helpedfrom the bike after the race and was treated at the infield medical centerfor severe muscle cramping in his hips.

“I was really working hard out there and focused on the finish,” said Smith.”I picked up some good points and I’m looking forward to going to SearsPoint with a good handling race bike.”

The VR 1000 Superbike team will compete at Sears Point Raceway in Sonoma, Calif., May 4-6, where Picotte finished third in 1999.

LEGACY VETS LOOKING FOR DOOR PRIZES–Bandit, as you already know, or might not know, I’m a patch holder for the “LEGACY VETS M.C.”, which is part of the “VIETNAM VETS M.C.”, to carry on their memory when they are gone. The reason I write you is, we are having our annual Memorial Day party to raise money for our chapter (Chapter “N” New York ), and we were wondering if you would mind making a donation on behalf of Bikernet. Something to raffle off. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thank you, Diesel, Chapter “N” New York, LEGACY VETS M.C.

–“Dan LaBarge”
dansaysftw@hotmail.com

drags

VANCIL/VANCE & HINES WIN ORLANDO– Doug Vancil started his season like he ended his 2000season-with a win. Vancil won the prestigious season opener at OrlandoHarley-Davidson AHDRA Bike Week Nationals. Vancil not only took the win overTony Mattioli of Middlegrove, N.Y., but had qualified No. 1 with a 6.630.

Vancil was the only JIMS Top Fuel rider in a field of 16 to consistently run6’s at the Orlando facility. AND he set new JIMS Top Fuel AHDRA nationalrecords at 6.616 ET and boosted the mph record by over 6 mph to 216.45.

The Vancils are supported by Vance & Hines, Drag Specialties, PerformanceMachine, K & N, PJ 1, B & J Transmission, and Axtell.

–Ray Russell

HANNON RACING WINS DAYTONA– Hannon Racing waited till the last few weeks to refurbishthe hearts of ol’ Mom and WES, their Pro Stock engines of reknown. In fact,the quickest and fastest Pro Stock Harley-Davidson in the world remained ondisplay at Harley-Davidson of Ft. Myers until mid February, when the action tocompete got the best of the now infamous Hannon/Baisley bunch. Not only didDan Baisley win the event, but he ran the lowest ET at 7.695 seconds and HannonRacing now holds the Orlando Speedworld Pro Stock Harley Davidson record witha.7.695 ET.

Bill Hannon said, “We dedicated this race week to Dave Schultz, our friendand member of our great team of mentors. We are proud to have taken the winin his honor,” in a sentiment shared by the entire team at Hannon Racing.

Hannon Racing would like to thank their sponsors for helping maintain thequickest Pro Stock Harley-Davidson in the world. With HannonRacing for 2001 are Axtell Sales, Inc., Baisley Hi-Performance, D & GChassis, Harley-Davidson of Ft. Myers, The Landings Realty, Inc., Red LineOil, MRE, BPM, Dyna Tek, RK Chain, Vanson Leathers, Mastercam.CNC Software,Red Shift Cams and R & D Motorsports.

Hannon: www.hannonracing.com

SWEET REVENGE–For decades, two nude heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. You’ve been such exemplary statues,” he announced to them, “that I’m going to give you a special gift. I’m going to bring you both to life for 30 minutes, in which you can do anything you want.”

And with a clap of his hands, the angel brought the statues to life.The two approached each other a bit shyly, but soon dashed for the bushes, from which shortly emerged a good deal of giggling, laughter and shaking of branches. Fifteen minutes later, the two statues emerged from the bushes, wide grins on their faces.

“You still have 15 more minutes,” said the angel, winking at them.

Grinning even more widely, the nude female statue turned to the nude male statue and said, “Great! Only this time you hold the pigeon down and I’ll crap on its head.”

Continued on Page 4

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