Henry Winkler’s 1949 Triumph Trophy TR5 500 Custom in Happy Days

This Triumph Trophy TR5 500 (frame TC11198T / engine TR59016133) is one of three that were used by “The Fonz.” Although Arthur Fonzarelli was originally scripted as a bit player, TV watchers just couldn’t get enough of the loveable greaser with a knack for catchphrases and a way with the ladies. And we can thank his jacket for giving the Triumph more screen time. No kidding.


This Triumph is one of three (including a 1952 model we wrote about earlier) that were used in filming the show. Originally owned by Hollywood stuntman and racer Bud Ekins of Great Escape fame, the ’49 was customized so Winkler could handle it easier, and the 500cc classic became synonymous with the Fonz.


Paul Newman’s 1967 Škoda CZ 250 in Sometimes a Great Notion

This Škoda was given to Newman specifically for his role as Hank Stamper in the 1971 movie Sometimes a Great Notion, a film adaption of Ken Kesey’s novel that Newman directed himself.

CZ, a branch of the Czech car company that previously manufactured weapons, began building street motorcycles in 1932. Known for its powerful two-stroke bikes, it had a run of six consecutive Grand Prix World Championships from 1964–69. But CZ couldn’t fend off the rise in popularity of Japanese motorcycles and ultimately sold itself to Cagiva, which went bankrupt four years later in 1997.


Peter Fonda’s 1968 Bultaco Pursang 250 MKII Motorcycle in Easy Rider

Peter Fonda is the third-most famous actor in his family, behind father Henry and sister Jane, but there’s no doubt that he rode one of the most famous bikes in Hollywood history. This bike, however, isn’t the iconic red, white, and blue chopper from 1969’s Easy Rider; it’s the 1968 Bultaco Pursang 250 MKII that Fonda (as “Wyatt”) rode in the movie’s first scene.

One of two used in filming, this 250 MKII (frame 48-00510 / engine 48-00510) is a powerful 250cc, air-cooled, two-stroke competition model that Heritage calls “a winner in virtually any type of high-speed-based, off-road event.” The boattail 250 MKII generated 34 horsepower and was thought to be the fastest 250 in 1968.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/cop26-chief-world-must-act-113017481.html

“(1) Human activity is damaging our Earth. (2) It’s imperiling this brilliant jewel. (3) The greenhouse gases that we’ve been pumping into the atmosphere since the Industrial Revolution are altering nature’s precious balance, disrupting the finely tuned and fantastically complex system that is the world’s climate, and the effects are now closing in. (4) Global temperatures are rising.

Last year was the hottest on record. (5)The last decade was the hottest ever recorded. (6) And in the past 30 years, the world has lost up to half its coral reefs, half. (7)We’ve seen wildfires in the Pennines and floods in West Lothian, all as pollution chokes occurring. (8)And if we do not act now, the science tells us these effects will become more frequent and more brutal, that we will witness a scale of global catastrophe the likes of which the world has not seen. (9)And quite rightly, future generations will hold us responsible.”

The above link and the above text are……well, the same thing. The text is the written-out shit that the guy in the link is reciting.

The guy in the unintentional Monty Python imitation video is Alok Sharma. Alok Sharma is the chairman of something or other called the COP23. You will read a hell of a lot of articles from all the genius journalists working at all the wondrous news entities before you will find a-one of them willing to tell you what the COP23 is. You’re supposed to just know. Because you are supposed to be so addicted to the imbeciles bringing you the “news of the world” that COP23 should just be part of your everyday vocabulary. Just like “Man, I’d like to tap THAT” is.

The COP23 is the (maybe) 23rd meeting of the Conference of Parties. It’s a UN, or as the Israelis call it the “United Nothings,” swah-ray that they convene to warn you what the global array of world leadership is going to blame you for so you will know why they are preparing to punish you. Hey, the worldwide mask-wearing and solitary isolation and quarantining the healthy and letting grandma die alone worked out without anyone going whatdafuck. Time to ramp things up!

As you watch him flick his dry and lying tongue in and out and posture with his hands and pronounce “occurring” as “oh-surring” in the phrase “all as pollution chokes oh-surring” as though he has memorized something incorrectly or else is reading something incorrectly……as you watch and listen with no attention paid to his facial and body language but hear just the pontifical pronouncements…….if you take the performance sentence by sentence….he is not actually giving you any actual information. He is just making assertions. He might as well be saying “Inanimate Lives Matter.” I will demonstrate.

1: “Human activity is damaging our earth.”

This is something a chained and screaming demon-possessed psychopathic old woman on fentanyl and who just set herself on fire would shout at passing busses in downtown Los Angeles. The earth has NEVER been damaged. It’s 5 billion years old. And it is undamaged. What HAS been damaged is Alok’s ability to articulate anything other than decrees.

The earth PRODUCED humans. And in fact, the earth damages THEM on a regular basis. For him to say that humanity is damaging the earth is broadcasting that he is a lunatic if not a sociopath. He is putting the existence of terrain as being more important than the existence of humans. PLUS, he’s saying all this damage is all our fault. Which is what sociopaths do. They fuck you over….and then say it’s your fault.

We are harming atoms. So Alok is going to punish us, or at least prompt those with the available firepower to punish us to do so. All the while he is proclaiming his sanctimonious concern for our welfare by telling us we need to die. We are violating HIS religion. Which, in case you were wondering, is paganism: declaring inanimate terrain to be an item of worship or at least having more rights than humans. He is declaring “the planet” as “more entitled” than us. He is declaring that rocks have rights, basically. In short, everything has rights….except you. You have duties: to keep people safe from the flu. And to keep rocks safe from miners.

2: “It’s imperiling this precious jewel.”

This is not only an arbitrary conclusion based on no actual evidence that anyone in any field of actual knowledge can actually point to…. it’s inferior, really bad, very amateurish, creative writing. It’s childish fairyland nonsense. He’s calling the earth a precious jewel. This is 6-year-old girl talk. The earth is not a precious jewel. It’s a fucking planet orbiting a fucking star. One of nine, or ten, or whatever they have declared this week as planets.

In addition to being an arbitrary conclusion based on nothing as well as inferior amateur poetry, it’s also a declaration that the planet Earth has more rights than you do. Which is downright mean-spirited if not insane.

EYE think he’s just mean-spirited. Just like all the people now blaming children for being basically immune to the flu and all its variants-without-number. They – children – are being punished for not being old and decrepit. This is called in my personal dictionary “criminal child abuse.”

To continue, the earth is not only not a jewel, what actual jewels the earth has within it are really hard to find, hence their value. Therefore no one pays a high price for limestone. It’s not a precious jewel. And neither is the earth. It’s just the fucking earth. It’s not a precious jewel. Unless you are in love and writing in your diary. Then it’s a precious jewel.

3: “The greenhouse gases that we’ve been pumping into the atmosphere since the Industrial Revolution are altering nature’s precious balance, disrupting the finely tuned and fantastically complex system that is the world’s climate, and the effects are now closing in.”

A: Greenhouse gas is the political language for carbon dioxide. There are no varieties of CO2 so “gasses” is purposely used to make his idiot followers assume there is more than one “greenhouse gas.” There is no evidence to prove that CO2 turns the atmosphere into a greenhouse, much less a runaway one. Whatever the fuck that would even be. CO2 is not a greenhouse gas any more than hydrogen is a refrigerator gas.

PLUS…..you can enter a greenhouse and stay there all day and not suffocate. A “runaway” state never even occurs in an actual greenhouse. Why would it occur in the fucking atmosphere? If there was any actual danger in anything he’s saying he would be evidencing a much higher sense of urgency than he is evidencing in his droning memorized series of propaganda sentences that he is reciting at the “wind farm.” Even though wind farms do not actually produce wind. Or electricity most of the time.

He himself is producing more wind out his yap and probably out his ass than all those inefficient expensive toys behind him are actually producing. The war against the Industrial Revolution has been in effect by bureaucrats ever since they all realized that unregulated free enterprise would provide to humanity all the “benefits” that government claims to have as IT’S job to provide. The Industrial Revolution (and there isn’t a public-sector parasite on earth who doesn’t realize this is an “existential threat” alright, but the threat is to the existence of government in all its forms) threatens government.

HENCE…..industry must be destroyed. What was the first thing to disappear when government declared the annual cold and flu season a suddenly horrific “great and mighty plague,” as that easily-duped Donald Trump declared it to be?…employment in the private sector was what got hit by decree by ten million health officials who never got elected.

I notice no bureaucrats or teachers or nurses or professors or bus drivers or cops or judges lost their jobs. Why does government regulate industry and not itself? Because government is perfect! And caring! And moral! And democratic! Unlike “greedy seekers of honest profit from voluntary customers.” When does business make you pay them in exchange for nothing in return? Never. When does government do it: always. 100% of the time. Throughout human history.

B: Nature is not a precious jewel and it does not operate via a precious balance, traditionally referred to as “the delicate balance of Nature.” Nature is not delicately balanced. It is mightily and thunderously balanced. You fuck it up it fixes itself. And then will fuck YOU up. Every living cell is fighting for its life 24 hours a day. Life is a machine that violates entropy. It’s something that reason and sense tells you it could never have come from the senseless, lifeless periodic table. But here it is. Life is fighting “the planet.” Life is using the planet to stay in existence.

The war, if there is one, is rocks against cells. Alok wants the rocks to win. For anyone to say that humans’ Industrial Age “output of destruction” exceeds the power and destruction of one hurricane, one flood, one volcano, one drought, one forest fire, one earthquake or one tidal wave that might show up on any average day in any average global location…..is either a liar or a moron. And Probably BOTH.

C: The effects are closing in? Um, where, asshole. Point those effects of your insight into the atmospheric machine out to me. Melting Ice? Like more fresh water is a problem? So, what is it, we are running out of water on a planet 80% water god only knows how many miles deep, but melting ice is producing too much water? What effects are closing in. Nice List of Nothing that you have provided there, Sparkle. You know what’s closing in? Your cranium. It’s closing in on your brain so much that only vocabulary projectile vomit is coming out of your mouth.

4: “Global temperatures are rising. Last year was the hottest on record.”

How long has it been possible to “measure” global temperature. Whatever that even is. More than 200 years? I’m guessing less than 50. What does it MATTER if “global temperatures are rising”? Who cares? Why is it so certain that idiot humans are “causing” it? There is not one way to determine this. Other, of course, than forcing everyone to live like the Hopi and wait 50 years to see if “global temperatures” have dropped.

Death Valley is STILL the only place in America where if you go there you have to really pay attention with a deep vigilance to how fucking hot it is. Everywhere else in America, today, May 15th?….it’s pretty nice out. Calm the fuck down, Alok, you’ll have a fuckin’ stroke. Which would be fine with me.

5: “The last decade was the hottest ever recorded.”

Yeah, and no one fucking noticed. Other than people with NASA-level instruments and MIT level heads for mathematics. No one else noticed. So, let’s undo the Industrial Revolution!!!!!! That’s Alok’s solution to a non-existent problem. Who pays this Alok fucker? And what exactly is his fucking job?

6: “And in the past 30 years, the world has lost up to half its coral reefs, half.”

Well. Let me sit down and put my head in my hands over this one. I’ll never sleep again. Coral is more important than humanity having air conditioning and diet soda and ice rinks and hamburgers? And where is the cause-and-effect chart explaining how humans on the fucking land are affecting idiot coral in the fucking ocean? Maybe the CORAL are doing something to overheat themselves. Coral? Really? You’re worried about coral? Your concern about the coral is supposed to take precedence about my concern about making a living and having some creature comforts? Fuck you, you pompous self-righteous guru of holiness.

You ever notice it’s always the people who are ordering you around – who you never even met – that are always insisting that if you don’t obey them, you are committing sins? It ain’t just preachers. It’s also presidents and senators and governors and city councilmen and county supervisors and now the UN, which is a smelly horde of prehistoric third world savages….declaring you unholy because you are endangering humanity by not obeying some dumbass fuckhead who for SOME reason is in authority.

7: “We’ve seen wildfires in the Pennines and floods in West Lothian, all as pollution chokes occurring.”

This is what is known as a non sequitur. It is a statement uttered more or less out of the blue that references nothing said preciously or will be said subsequently. Being a non sequitur is the NICE part. SOME of it is pure genuine gibberish.

Air temperature does not ignite wildfires. Not even in the really important Pennines. Lightning, magma, and arsonists ignite wildfires. I don’t know what the fucking West Lothian is but I’m willing to bet it’s a fucking bog. If I know England. And ya know, if something is on fire, put the fucking fire out. Don’t go telling everyone to stop using coal and gasoline and methane and kerosene and propane and U238 so that an arson fire you can’t be bothered extinguishing won’t happen. Regarding the bewildering remark “all as pollution chokes oh-sur-ing”………..I actually don’t know what to do about those osurring things. So, I’ll give Alok that one. “All as pollution chokes oh-sur-ing” could in fact perhaps be caused by me trying to live in the 21st Century AD rather than in 21st Century BC. I don’t know. I mean, regarding o-surrings?….Alok could be right, I could be at fault. Like I say, Alok, I’m gonna give ya this one.

8: “And if we do not act now, the science tells us these effects will become more frequent and more brutal, that we will witness a scale of global catastrophe the likes of which the world has not seen.”

This is the raving of a fucking lunatic. Assuming he actually believes this. Who’s “we”? Well, I’ll tell you who we is: we is you. Not him. What “brutality” has a 1 degree increase in whatever the global temperature is in the past hundred years…..what is the brutality that has actually been inflicted on anyone. Where’s the fucking brutality. Is it Bruising? Bleeding? Broken Bones? Disfigurement? What’s the fucking brutality. What are “these effects”?

What’s next, global warming caused C-19? In fact, what do you want to bet that the news hacks and ‘crats are eventually going to claim global warming created the fake pandemic of the annual cold and flu season currently being called C-19. Wait till they tie the flu to global warming.

Fauci is ALREADY claiming the flu is white privilege because it is hitting the still-enslaved, forever-enslaved, never-allowed-to-be-free negroes the hardest. That’s what he says. Your guilt is being broadcast on all fronts regarding all your amazing “advantages” and “privileges.” They’re basically saying that because you’re apparently superior, everyone is in danger.

And another thing: why can they declare you superior, but you can’t declare yourself superior. It’s like living in a maze created by extra-dimensional monsters, isn’t it? It’s like supernatural crazed beings from Hell are now directing traffic on all fronts, roads, highways and intersections. The only reason you haven’t heard yet that the global warming you created also created C-19….. is because the hacks and ‘crats have not read this article yet. But they will. So, keep an eye out for it. Because you heard it here first.

What will be the exact nature and time of this global catastrophe that “we” will see down the road but which Alok has apparently already witnessed in his seance-room of light-absorbent curtains and from Madame Blavatsky’s messages from the Beyond? Maybe he could tell us what to expect so we can make preparations rather than having to revert to a veldt-level or plains-Indian level lifestyle of living in houses made of animal skins and dried sticks.

Maybe he could be a little more responsible and give us some details of the nature and extent of the danger rather than telling us we are just going to have to believe his idiot crazed Chicken Little imbecilic prophesies based on no previous examples to cite and no previous experiments conducted other than watching PBS and NPR and the EPA for mystical updates from Planet Earth Gaia leprechauns. Because that’s all “environmentalism” is – Reverse Astrology.

Instead of all the planets but earth determining human events…..humans determine planet-earth events. But not events on other planets. Environmentalism is taking something already batshit crazy – astrology – and turning it inside out so that it’s not just crazy…it’s suicidal. But ya know what?….there’s a reason we’re all in clown face-coverings that we believe have magical powers. And it ain’t because we’re all just so strong and so mighty and so intelligent and so brave. So Alok might not be just barking at the moon. He might instead be simply teaching ALL of us how to bark at the moon. Like HE does.

9: “And quite rightly, future human generations will hold us responsible.”

And finally, he unloads the Luciferian accusatory guilt trip that all these creeps keep in their pink handbags, which is “we actually ARE our brothers keepers.” But Alok takes it one dimension further than the fake pandemic plague of Fairyland guilt trippers throw at us, which, their story is, “we are causing harm to those around us” by not obeying these fucks.

But Alok takes it One Step Beyond. He takes it far into the future where people who don’t actually even exist yet will be upset at us if we don’t obey Alok. Oh dear: imaginary people will think badly of us. People who aren’t even sperms and eggs yet…..will be upset at us. Because we didn’t obey Alok The Mighty – the guy who can’t even say “occurring” without falling all over himself.

He spends his entire speech insisting that humanity is doomed to extinction…..which will upset future generations to the point where they will call us names. Even though we rendered them extinct by our Industrial Revolution and alternate current and turbine engines and atomic energy. People who we rendered extinct…..will call us names. After they de-extinct. And who are not even here yet: whether they’re extinct or not. Because they’re in the future. Everything is in the future with this guy. He’s like a fucking fortune teller or snake charmer. But then he WAS born in India. I rest my fucking case.

There’s a REASON he works at the UN. And it’s not because he’s intelligent.

Thank you.

–J.J. Solari
Supreme Commander
Science Overload Class
Bikernet University

Beginning Thursday, May 6, new days and hours of operation come to the Harley-Davidson Museum

MILWAUKEE, USA (May 4, 2021) – As a part of the Harley-Davidson Museum’s phased reopening, the H-D Museum will soon expand its hours of operation. Beginning Thursday, May 6, the H-D Museum and The Shop  will be open Thursday through Sunday, 10 a.m. – 5 p.m. MOTOR® Bar & Restaurant will also  have expanded operations on Thursdays, with its hours of operation  11 a.m. – 5 p.m., Thursday through Sunday.

And with a new installation arriving May 14, it’s the perfect opportunity to take advantage of the expanded hours. “The Harley Fox” bike will be on view in the Custom Culture gallery. This display showcases the explosive growth of women’s riding in the 1980s and draws a direct line from those efforts to the riders of today.

But don’t fret. Even if a trip to the H-D Museum isn’t in your plans just yet, our Virtual Gallery Talks, taking place Thursday evenings, aren’t going anywhere. This month, topics will include Harley-Davidson’s humble beginnings, the role H-D has played in U.S. military efforts and more.

Scouts can also take advantage of virtual offerings with a new merit badge experience that launched this month. Read on to see how you can earn the coolest engineering merit badge in the land.

And if you’re still shopping for Mom, why not get her the H-D Museum’s all-new Annual Pass? Whether she’s looking for a well-deserved solo trip or a family outing, Mom will love this memorable gift again and again. Purchase one in 2021 and enjoy perks – like discounts throughout campus and free admission – through 2022.

Finally, don’t forget: While May is Military Appreciation Month, all active-duty military members, reserves, retirees and veterans of the United States Armed Forces can enjoy discounts throughout campus all year-round.

Learn more about the H-D Museum’s protocols to support healthy and safe environments.

EXHIBITS / INSTALLATIONS

Harley Fox (on display beginning May 14)
Gail Anderson’s 1986 Softail® Custom, “Harley Fox,” built by her partner Bob Burrows, took top prize at the first Ladies of Harley® (LOH) ride-in show during Daytona Beach Bike Week in 1987. With her custom bike and themed riding gear, Anderson presented a striking image that fit the growing visibility and exciting new options for women riders in the 1980s.

Alfonso Sotomayor’s 1957 Model FL (on display now)

Google Arts & Culture, “Touring Around the World” (available now)
Join Harley-Davidson on this trip around the world, and through history, with then-and-now comparisons of international locations found on the covers of “The Enthusiast™” magazine. Click Here to View.

“Off-Road Harley-Davidson” (open now) click here
In the decades before America paved its highways, early riders had to be prepared for all sorts of terrain: sand, clay or dirt – and wandering those makeshift byways were Harley-Davidson® motorcycles. Today, it’s called off-road or adventure touring; back then it was just called riding. Since 1903, Harley-Davidson motorcycles proved their toughness by riding over wooded hills, through stone-choked creek beds and up mountain sides. “Off-Road Harley-Davidson” tells the history of motorcycles designed for rough roads, the people who rode them and the adventures they shared.

“Building a Milwaukee Icon: Harley-Davidson’s Juneau Avenue Factory” (open now) click here
A recently recovered cache of architectural drawings includes plans for the original Juneau Avenue facility. The pencil drawings, along with archival photographs, demonstrate the whirlwind pace of the company’s early growth. While building an international business—going from producing just over 1,000 motorcycles in 1909 to manufacturing 27,000 motorcycles in 1920—the company’s Milwaukee factory experienced near-constant expansion. Construction through this relatively brief period created the buildings that today, a century later, are still the proud home of Harley-Davidson.

PROGRAMMING / EVENTS

Saturday Demos, 10 a.m. – 4 p.m., May 15 through Sept. 25
Demo Rides available at the world’s only Harley-Davidson Museum! Visit the H-D Museum campus Saturdays from 10 a.m. – 4 p.m. and throw a leg over a 2021 motorcycle to experience the fun and freedom of a Harley-Davidson® motorcycle.

Visitors with their motorcycle endorsement (and who bring their own helmet and riding gear) will be able to choose from a dozen of the latest and greatest #FreedomMachines from Harley-Davidson, including Touring, Softail® and Sportster® models. Plus, the all-new Pan America™ motorcycle will be available on a limited basis. A pre-determined scenic route through the Menomonee Valley will give riders the chance to explore the Museum’s surrounding neighborhoods.

Annual Pass
Looking for interesting things to do and ways to fully enjoy our programs and exhibits? The Harley-Davidson Museum’s new Annual Pass offers individual, family and VIP levels to fit your lifestyle. Just some of the perks of the new Annual Pass include: admission discounts, Virtual Gallery Talks, free admission for children under age 18, merchandise discounts at The Shop, dining discounts at MOTOR® Bar & Restaurant and more.

Plus, if you purchase an Annual Pass in 2021, those passholder perks can be enjoyed all of 2021 and 2022. Visit H-D Museum.com to see complete ticket details for exclusions and other terms and conditions.

Virtual Gallery Talks
Thursdays (May 6, 13, 20 and 27 at 7 p.m.)
The Harley-Davidson Museum is pleased to introduce a new offering to its menu of unique experiences: Virtual Gallery Talks are ideal for those who are hoping to take a deep dive into Harley-Davidson history from the comfort of home.

Featured Gallery: The Beginnings – The Shed & Serial No. 1 (Thursday, May 6 @ 7 p.m.)
Take a trip back in time to 1903 when H-D’s “first factory” appeared on the scene in Milwaukee. Get an up-close look at some of the Motor Company’s first patents and engineering drawings. Then hear the story behind Serial No. 1, the oldest-known Harley-Davidson® motorcycle in existence.

Featured Gallery: Military – Riding with Uncle Sam (Thursday, May 13 @ 7 p.m.)
Harley-Davidson’s history with the U.S. military dates back more than a century. Learn about how Harley-Davidson found itself on the front lines in the fight for freedom, including a lesson on the famed WLA, the “bike that won the war.”

Featured Gallery: Clubs & Competition – Win on Sunday, Sell on Monday (Thursday, May 20 @ 7 p.m.)
Although Harley-Davidson was a late entry into racing in the early 20th century, its famed “Wrecking Crew” racing team didn’t take long to dominate the track. Get a look at the equipment, gear and tracks that built board track racing’s popularity.

Featured Gallery: Custom Culture – Harley-Davidson & Pop Culture (Thursday, May 27 @ 7 p.m.)
It’s time for Harley-Davidson’s closeup. See how H-D® motorcycles were featured on big screens and small, taking a star turn in Marvel movies, iconic TV shows and more.

Engines 101 (Saturdays and Sundays, 11:30 a.m. and 1:30 p.m.)
Study the heart of Harley-Davidson motorcycles: the engine! Join us for a classroom experience covering the gritty details of how Harley-Davidson engines roar to life. No mechanical skills necessary! Leave with an exclusive Engines 101 pin, a $5 coupon for The Shop and a newfound knowledge of how Harley-Davidson® engines are created.

Scout Virtual Engineering Merit Badge (Saturdays at 8:30 a.m. and Tuesdays at 6:30 p.m.)

MOTOR® BAR & RESTAURANT click here
The patio is open! Just in time for warmer temps, MOTOR® restaurant’s waterfront patio has opened for the season. Bring your furry four-legged friend and enjoy new seasonal menu items. Carry-out, delivery and contact-less payment options are all on the table. Kick off your weekend with the AYCE Fish Fry, a delicious all-you-can-eat beer-battered and golden fried cod meal – served alongside crispy french fries, jicama slaw, corn bread muffin and tartar sauce, all for just $15.95.

THE SHOP
Visit the Shop to check out the limited-edition collaboration between Harley-Davidson and Boston rockers Aerosmith. A T-shirt you can rock anywhere. The H-D x Aerosmith Burnout Tee touts a retro design inspired by the band’s eponymous album and is constructed from a tri-blend material that makes it feel like a tee from their very first show.

1903 EVENTS click here
Looking for an iconic venue to host your special event? Dates and spaces are available for 2021 and 2022. Contact 1903 Events today.

 Make your plans to visit the Harley-Davidson Museum at H-DMuseum.com.

NCOM CONVENTION WELCOMES RIDERS TO AMERICA’S HEARTLAND
Mark your calendar now for July 23-25, and plan on joining hundreds of fellow biker’s rights activists from across the country at the 36th annual NCOM Convention at the Holiday Inn Des Moines – Airport, located at 6111 Fleur Drive in Des Moines, Iowa.

Some of the nation’s finest Freedom Fighters will address legal and legislative topics of concern to all riders, from helmet laws to anti-profiling to lane-splitting, autonomous vehicles, the fate of internal combustion and much more.

In the meantime, the National Coalition of Motorcyclists is requesting that MROs, motorcycle clubs, and riding associations submit the names of those members and supporters who have passed away over the past year, since last October’s NCOM Convention in Indianapolis, so that we may honor their memories with the traditional “Ringing of the Bell” tribute to fallen riders during the opening ceremonies. Dedications should be e-mailed in advance to Bill Bish at NCOMBish@aol.com, or can be hand-delivered at the Convention to “Doc” Reichenbach, NCOM Chairman of the Board.

Reserve your hotel room at (515) 287-2400, and mention NCOM for Special Room Rates.

OREGON LANE SPLITTING BILL GOES TO THE GOVERNOR
After years of legislative attempts, Oregon may soon join with neighboring California and a host of other states that have approved of lane splitting for motorcyclists. The state House of Representatives on Monday, May 17, gave its blessing to Senate Bill 574, a bipartisan proposal that allows motorcyclists to operate in between lanes of traffic under certain circumstances. After a 42-14 vote in the House, preceded by an 18-6 vote in the Senate, the bill now heads to the desk of Governor Kate Brown (D) for her consideration.

According to one news source, SB 574 has received more testimony than nearly any other piece of legislation this session, as proponents flooded legislators’ inboxes clamoring for the idea. Their argument: That allowing motorcyclists to bend the normal rules during traffic jams would be good for both safety and improving congestion.

Oregon state representative Ron Noble (R-McMinnville), who is himself a rider and who also carried the bill in the House, told Oregon Public Broadcasting KVAL; “It will provide me personally with another option to ride safe.”

As described in a Legislative staff report: “Lane Filtering” is “meant to allow motorcycles to continue moving when the general flow of traffic is slowed or stopped, and is meant to prevent overheating of motorcycle engines, rider fatigue, and protect the safety of riders by preventing them from being rear-ended in areas with high levels of traffic congestion.”

Under SB 574, motorcyclists are allowed to split lanes only on multi-lane highways with a speed limit of at least 50 mph. When traffic slows to 10 mph or less on those roads, motorcyclists are permitted to ride between cars, at no more than 10 mph faster than the flow of traffic. The law does not apply in school zones or work zones.

California has long allowed lane splitting, under different circumstances than Oregon’s bill, and Montana recently passed a law of its own. Utah allows lane filtering when traffic is stopped at an intersection. Hawaii permits motorcyclists to utilize the shoulder when traffic is congested.

BIKER ANTI-PROFILING MEASURE INTRODUCED IN CONGRESS
More than two years ago, the U.S. Senate unanimously passed a nonbinding resolution condemning the discriminatory profiling of motorcyclists by law enforcement (S. Res. 154), and now the U.S. House of Representatives has once again introduced a similar bipartisan measure in the 117th Congress, H. Res. 366; “Promoting awareness of motorcyclist profiling and encouraging collaboration and communication with the motorcycle community and law enforcement officials to prevent instances of profiling.”

Sponsored once again by Rep. Tim Walberg (R-MI), the anti-profiling resolution was introduced in the U.S. House of Representatives on April 30, 2021 to thwart “the illegal use of the fact that a person rides a motorcycle or wears motorcycle related apparel as a factor in deciding to stop and question, take enforcement action, arrest, or search a person or vehicle with or without legal basis under the Constitution of the United States,” as profiling is defined in the resolution.

H.R. 366 acknowledges nationwide motorcycle registrations “growing from 3,826,373 in 1997 to 13,158,100 in 2018,” and notes that “complaints surrounding motorcyclist profiling have been cited in all 50 States.”

Co-sponsored by Congressman Michael Burgess (R-TX), Congresswoman Cheri Bustos (D-IL) and Congressman Mark Pocan (D-WI), the bipartisan resolution denotes three actionable items;

(1) promotes increased public awareness on the issue of motorcyclist profiling;
(2) encourages collaboration and communication with the motorcyclist community and law enforcement to engage in efforts to end motorcyclist profiling; and
(3) urges State law enforcement officials to include statements condemning motorcyclist profiling in written policies and training materials.

All concerned motorcyclists are encouraged to contact their Congressional Representatives to ask that they join their colleagues as a cosponsor of H.Res.366 and help put a stop to law enforcement unfairly targeting motorcycle riders for traffic stops, questioning and citations.

In the meantime, efforts are underway to again include anti-profiling language among other pro-motorcycle provisions in the Biden Administration’s multi-trillion dollar federal highway bill.

U.S. MOTORCYCLE SALES WAY UP
New-model motorcycle sales among leading brands increased more than 37.2% in the first quarter of 2021, according to the Motorcycle Industry Council Retail Sales Report. The Q1 sales, compared to the same period last year, were up by double digits in every category: on-highway, off-highway, dual-purpose, and scooter.

“This is the fourth straight quarter of strong sales numbers, indicating continued and growing interest in riding among new and returning riders,” said Erik Pritchard, MIC president and CEO. “Combine the new-motorcycle sales performance with the pace of tire sales and we know that more riders are putting on more miles.”

Year-to-date sales of dual-purpose motorcycles were up the most, by 47%. Off-highway sales were up 45.4%. Scooter sales rose 34.6%, and on-highway motorcycle sales increased 31.4%.

EUROPE SEES DOUBLE-DIGIT MOTORCYCLE SALES GROWTH
Both here and abroad, new motorcycle sales are booming, with Europe experiencing Q1 year-on-year increase in the double-digits.

Despite a tough year for riders and non-riders alike, the European Association of Motorcycle Manufacturers (ACEM) reports that things are looking up for the five largest European motorcycle markets – France (+15.1%), Germany, Italy (+47.3%), Spain, and the U.K.– showing a 10.3% overall increase in the number of bikes sold over the same period in 2020.

OEMs have so far been reporting good news, as well, with Ducati announcing a 33% rise, Polaris talking about 30% more sales, and Harley-Davidson seeing a 9% increase for the same time period.

If the past three quarters give any indication, this trend should hopefully continue.

AMERICAN MOTORCYCLE-MAKERS FACING MASSIVE 56% EU IMPORT TARIFF
Harley-Davidson and others could face a devastating situation in Europe in less than two months’ time after being slapped with a whopping 833% increase in tariffs. The rise in duty is the latest fallout from an escalating trade war between the old sparring partners of the United States and the European Union.

In June 2018, the EU placed a 25% incremental tariff (31% total) on motorcycles imported into the EU from the US. The tariff is scheduled to increase to 50% incremental (56% total) on June 1. Since June 2019, Harley has avoided most of the tariff due to Binding Origin Information (BOI) credentials, with certain Harleys produced at their international manufacturing facilities being subject to just 6% tariffs. However, Harley has since been told by the EU that after a decision by the European Commission their BOI credentials have been revoked, with the full 56% tariffs to be implemented on all products, regardless of origin, effective in June.

“This is an unprecedented situation and underscores the very real harm of an escalating trade war to our stakeholders on both sides of the Atlantic,” said Jochen Zeits, CEO of Harley-Davidson. “The potential impact of this decision on our manufacturing, operations and overall ability to compete in Europe is significant. Imposing an import tariff on all Harley-Davidson motorcycles goes against all notions of free trade and, if implemented, these increased tariffs will pose a targeted competitive disadvantage for our products, against those of our European competitors.”

As it stands, European bikes imported into the US are subject to tariffs ranging from 1.2% to 2.4% depending on displacement. Zeitz plans to launch an appeal to reverse the recent blow handed out by the EU to remain in the European market.

SINGAPORE MOVES TO BAN OLDER MOTORCYCLES
Singapore has made a massive statement of intent to curb emissions in the island nation, by completely banning old motorcycles (registered pre-2003) from their roads in 2028.

Until that date, and beginning April 1st 2023, stricter noise standards (equivalent to Euro 4) will be adopted, in line with United Nations emissions and exhaust noise levels, levels which are much stricter than those currently in place in the small island nation in Southeast Asia.

Those who run older motorcycles will be forced to comply with the new regulations, or face hefty fines, starting in 2023 up until 2028, at which time they will be forced off the road for good.

During this time, the Singapore government will offer an incentive to de-register old motorcycles before the 5th April 2023, to the tune of S$3,500 ($2,628 USD), not to buy or scrap affected vehicles, it’s just to de-register them.

ELECTRIC MOTORCYCLES PROTECT ENDANGERED AFRICAN WILDLIFE
Solar powered electric bikes have been adapted to sneak up on poachers in Africa to help park rangers working to protect endangered wildlife.

Swedish firm Cake has built the super-light 80kg Kalk AP (Anti-Poaching) bike for a project that aims to help officials combat the devastating effects of poaching on the continent’s most precious species.

The bike isn’t just for use in Africa, and if you buy one (@$28,375 USD), the Kalk company will supply a second ‘twin’ machine as part of a ‘buy-one-give-one’ charity initiative to be delivered to an anti-poaching unit, complete with a solar panel and power station kit that enables the twin bike to operate in the African bush independent from the electric power grid.

NO LEFT TURNS
Sharing a posting from Bikernet.com, “Why UPS Drivers Don’t Turn Left And You Probably Shouldn’t Either,” you might be interested to know that UPS delivery vans don’t always take the shortest route between stops, with the company giving each driver a specific route to follow including a policy that drivers should never turn through oncoming traffic at a junction unless absolutely necessary.

UPS designed their vehicle routing software to eliminate as many left-hand turns as possible (in countries with right-hand traffic). As a result, the company claims it uses 10m gallons less fuel, emits 20,000 tons less carbon dioxide and delivers 350,000 more packages every year.

According to www.iflscience.com, “The efficiency of planning routes with its navigation software this way has even helped the firm cut the number of trucks it uses by 1,100, bringing down the company’s total distance travelled by 28.5m miles — despite the longer routes.”

QUOTABLE QUOTE: “I would unite with anybody to do right and with nobody to do wrong.”
~ Frederick Douglass (1817-95), Abolitionist & Statesman

ABOUT AIM / NCOM: The National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) is a nationwide motorcyclists rights organization serving over 2,000 NCOM Member Groups throughout the United States, with all services fully-funded through Aid to Injured Motorcyclist (AIM) Attorneys available in each state who donate a portion of their legal fees from motorcycle accidents back into the NCOM Network of Biker Services (www.ON-A-BIKE.com / 800-ON-A-BIKE).

NHDRO motorcycle drag racing series race coverage report

event: NHDRO $67K Big Bracket Shootout Season Opener presented by Liguori Drag Racing
when: May 13-16, 2021
where: National Trail Raceway, Hebron, Ohio, USA

Lee and Adams Take NHDRO’s $67,000 Shootout

NHDRO’s Brian and Niki Welch have really perfected their Big Money bracket shootout formula with last weekend’s $67,000 Big Bracket Shootout presented by Liguori Drag Racing at National Trail Raceway in Hebron, Ohio. A no-box ladder and delay box ladder (64 bikes each) raced for $33,000 a piece before facing off against each other for a $1,000 bonus. How fair is that for spreading the wealth?

Dustin Lee won the Box side of the ladder (beating Tom Klemme in the final) and the then won the Shootout run-off when Kevin Adams redlit by .010. What’s Dustin going to do with all this money? “I’ll save it for hard times, I guess,” said the owner of Hard Times Parts & Service.

Lee’s racing schedule is very, very full, with limited time for repairs and running his business before getting back out on the road. But it helps to have big time support at home. Dustin talked about having a head gasket issue while racing on Mother’s Day, calling his wife Tamara on the way home and saying “’Figure out where you want to go to dinner for Mother’s Day and we’ll go out to eat.’

“So I get home, I back in the driveway, she comes outside and we get everything situated in the camper and go inside, and she’s got food cooking and everything rolling. She goes ‘Get out to the garage and get to work!’”

So with the repaired bike entered on the Box side of the ladder and his other bike on the No-Box side, Lee figured he was going to see better results in No-Box.

“I was wrong. I got a 12-pack put on me in No-Box, so I got beat.”

But the repaired bike was on autopilot. “I never touched the delay box, I never checked the tire, I never changed my dial-in all day. I just left it alone, raced, and had good lights. First round I was .012, second around I was .008, third round I was .010, then I think I was .014. I started being a little careful. I was .020 and .020. In the final, the No Box-Box run off, I was like .013 or .014. It was one of them days that couldn’t do wrong.

“Also this week was me and my wife’s anniversary of dating, and I have a really good track record on our anniversary weekends. I’ve never lost.”

So with some priorities at home and the biggest win of the weekend already in the bag, Lee decided to pack up and set sail back to Tennessee first thing Saturday morning.

“This is a lot of money to us. It’s more than I’ve ever won. I won twelve grand a few years ago at GALOT. I appreciate everybody that put this on—Brian and Niki, and Liguori for sponsoring the Shootout.

“I’m very blessed. I never thought that I would sell performance race parts or motorcycle parts in general, and drag race as a job. I’m lucky, and then to come here and win is just like a cherry on top.”

While missing the glory of winning the run-off, Adams still collected only $1000 less than Lee. “It was my first race of the year and—wow—what a way to start the year! What a tough field of competitors, and for me to make it through still gives me goose-bumps.”

Adams beat fellow Norwalk racer Joey Brandgard in the No-Box final. “What a great feeling to have people that race at Norwalk be in the finals!” said Kevin. “Joey is going to be a great competitor for years to come.

“I want to thank Brian and Niki Welch first off. They (NHDRO) are the only organization that I feel really support our racing. Not everybody may agree with everything they do, but they really do try to support racing and listen to the racers.

“Next, what can I say to be able to do this with my family at my side—my father who got me started and has supported me and my brother since we were 13, and has been there every step of the way. My wonderful wife, who just lost her father, was there and my two awesome kids Connor and Gavin. It means so much to have them at my side, and my brother Craig who has been my biggest supporter since I was a kid! All my racing family—Lloyd PV Patterson, Tommy Richardson, Sheet Shaker, Buzzy, and all the rest that support me. Thank you!

“And finally to the Kubach’s—Greg and Maria—for supplying me with the awesome bikes and friendship. Greg has been such an inspiration going through and beating bone cancer. What a tough battle he is fighting. Watching him go through that makes me think winning a race is easy!”

Schnitz Racing Top Gas
Schnitz Racing Top Gas 8.20 index champion Jeremy Teasley started his title defense in the right way, pushing Donnie Emerson out the back door (by .003) despite a 16+ MPH bigger speed from Teasley. Jeremy had a .012 advantage at the start.

“Really surprised I pulled off the win,” said Teasley. “I haven’t gave my personal bike any attention, being I’m so busy with work, but she came through. The bike has been awesome from day one since HTP built it.

“It was a perfect weekend. I had a lot of the family around, being a local race to home. I would really like to thank NHDRO’s Brian and Niki Welch for coming to National Trails. It was a great turn out. Seen people I haven’t seen in a long time.

M2.Shocks 8.70 Quick Street
Duane Jackson’s blue Suzuki Hayabusa (every winner discussed so far rode a ‘Busa) resembles Teasley’s in every nearly every aspect—including landing itself in the National Trail winners’ circle. Jackson even beat Teasley’s cousin Chanston Moll in the M2.Shocks 8.70 Quick Street final to get there. Jackson took the tree (.063 to .103) and ran closer to the number (8.75 to 8.76) for the win.

“One thing is that it was a very fun and different atmosphere, because I don’t run that series (NHDRO) and I hope that I could make at least one more this season,” said Jackson. “It was nice to win Quick Street because it’s a faster index then what we have on the East Coast.

“I was just running my lane like I always do, one round at a time. I get to the finals and the kid’s leathers has Teasley written on them (Moll wears an old pair of Jeremy’s) so I knew it was gonna be work. I took the tree and stayed one wheel in front to the finishline.”

Kevin Dennis Insurance Street ET
Jackson wasn’t finished with finals, though, as he also made it to the last round of Kevin Dennis Insurance Street ET. “Runner-up in Street ET was bittersweet. I set a goal out for myself last season when I put the bike together (true hand clutch [THC] and no auto-shifter) to be a challenge for myself since XDA doesn’t allow Gen 2 clutches. Made it to the last five Saturday, then went to the finals Sunday against a buddy of mine, John Markham (AKA Spooky). We saw each other in the quarterfinals and we said we’d see each other in the finals and we did.

“I left the tree .017 to his .076 got down to the bottom and gave him the stripe, thinking I was breaking out.”

Running .002 off his dial is what saved Markham after giving up .059 to Jackson at the starting line. “I couldn’t find the tree all weekend,” said Spooky, who was battling allergies. “My buddies Terry and Ann Muter found me some Visine and immediately my reaction times were better! So big thanks to them.”

Starting with three wins at Ohio Valley’s Derby race, Markham has a string of good fortune on borrowed motorcycles. That string continued with Sunday’s Kevin Dennis Insurance Street ET win on his son Dalton’s half naked ‘Busa. “I guess I need to start riding other people’s bikes. Seems I can find the winner’s circle a lot easier.

“Had a good time. Thanks Brian and Niki for a great weekend—as usual—and to my sponsors Jeff Nelis and Millennium Trailers, Ray Mancini and Xtreme Motorsports, Dan Rudd at MPS Racing, and my son Dalton for letting me ride his awesome bike.”

BB Racing Super Comp 8.90
Joe Klemme took the tree (.053 to .092) and played the stripe (8.98 to 8.94) for the win against Brandon Childress in the BB Racing Super Comp 8.90 index.

“I would like to thank my brother Tom, who owns the bike I was riding in Super Comp and is my racing partner. With Tom getting runner-up on the Box side of the $67,000 Bracket Shootout Friday, we were off to a pretty good start financially as a team for the weekend.

“Saturday’s Pro ET didn’t go as planned, so we focused on Sunday’s schedule, which included the index classes we run. After some hard work by the team as a whole, I found myself in two finals—Dirty 30 and Super Comp—and competing against some very tough competition. I was fortunate enough to come away with a win in Super Comp.

“I would like to dedicate this win to my sister Judy Grothus, who lost her year long fight against cancer on Tuesday following the race. And thanks to the entire racing community for their outpouring of love and support.

Super Comp number one qualifier Mike Nearhoof lost to Tylan Beckelheimer in round 2.

Advanced Sleeve Dirty 30
As noted, Klemme came back around to runner-up in Advanced Sleeve Dirty 30 9.30 index, as Marshall Hutchinson Jr. took the close win this time. Klemme took the tree by .011, but Hutch was .016 closer to the index.

“Well man, it’s a tear-jerker for sure,” said Hutchinson. “It’s my first NHDRO Big Check and it’s the first big win since I lost my mom to colon cancer. My mom helped with my dad to get the bike—formally Rob Schenz’s Super Comp bike. She went into nursing home and never got to see it finished. But she was with me on Sunday.

“I’d like to thank Nola and Marshall Hutchinson Sr., Jaymi and Russell Hutchinson, Tyler Lowe, Bruce Sauer, Thomas Cole, Bruce Damewood, Bill Bullers, and special thanks to National Trail’s Jason Murray and Jay Livingston. Prayers to the Damewoods for there little one Natalie. And of course you sir (referring to this writer/photographer). Thanks for all you do.”

Grothus Dragbikes/Klemme Performance Motorcycles Pro Ultra 4.60
Grothus Dragbikes/Klemme Performance Motorcycles Pro Ultra 4.60 boiled down to a final with two hardcore veteran sportsmen racers—Harvey Hubbard and Dan McCarten. Harvey took both ends of this one, with a slight .002 advantage at the tree and a 4.64 that was .013 quicker than McCarten.

“I won the race thanks to Brunson Grothus,” said Hubbard, a man of few words. “It is a Grothus chassis with a GS platform.”

MTC Pro Street
MTC Pro Street Midwestern powerhouse Quicktime Motorsports struggled with various issues on their trailer full of turbocharged ‘Busas. Team boss Rudy Sanzottera came off the trailer strong, but had a problem that pulled him first to the left, then to the right in his qualifying rounds.

But worse for Rudy was when the cam sensor went bad and kept his bike from starting for a semifinal bye to the final.

Champion (and number one qualifier) Brad Christian’s bike had a spun rod bearing knocking when he started up to burn out for round 1, Brett Ware bogged and died off the line, and Jeff Lindeman’s clutch would not engage for round 2.

All of this left Pro Street first timer Josh Ford as the last man standing. “Man, it’s amazing!” said Ford. “It’s been five years of gathering parts and the last few months of getting it together.”

“In November, we talked about running Pro Street at NHDRO,” said fellow racer and teammate Jeff Dalton. “After going back and forth, it was finally decided to build the nitrous PST bike. Josh and I built the exhaust together. The motor and chassis was built by JD Performance, with Josh assisting in assembly of the chassis. Ryan Schnitz wired up the Motec, and Ryan and I worked together on tuning as we have on several other projects.”

“Last week the bike was finally ‘finished’ and we were able to get a couple heat cycles in it before it finally was moving under its own power Thursday during testing!” said Ford. “Almost every pass was better and more comfortable than the last. We broke almost every personal best of mine this weekend.”

“With eleven passes on the bike and only seven of them being nitrous passes, everything worked well,” noted Dalton. “NHDRO did a great job with track prep and we were able to get some very good data and go fast quick.”

MPS Pro ET
“Sweet” Bruce Sauer beat his old National Trail rival Rod “Spicy” Bland in the Saturday MPS Pro ET final. With only .001 separating them at the tree, it was down to playing the finishline and Bruce took the stripe closer to his dial-in.

“I raced a bunch of great racers to win on Saturday,” said Sauer. “Bradley Shellhouse, Janie Palm, The GOAT Roy Hagadorn, John Markham, and Rod. It was like murders’ row! We had fun and I really liked seeing a bunch of my old Prostar buddies.”

Sunday’s winner was Doug Fisher, who won when Greg Mallett redlit in the other lane. It was a nice turnaround for Fisher, whose RV had a flat tire and brake pad malfunction on the way down from Michigan. There’s a motorhome disaster story at every event, and this time it was Doug’s turn.

“The Doghouse crew helped with repairs—Chad Otts, Angie Smith, Blues and Ronnie. Can’t thank them enough for the good food and helping to get the motorhome back together.”

Fisher’s bad luck was out of the way, and went down to the final eight in both other races the ‘Busa was entered in. “The bike was on kill all three races, the rider was on Sunday,” laughed Fisher. “The bike varied three hundredths all weekend

“Thanks to Payne Walsh, Tyler Fisher, Alexis Baker, Richard Gadson, and of course, Donna Fisher.”

Hard Times Parts & Service Jr. Dragster
Ian Burt took two Hard Times Parts & Service Jr. Dragster wins, each time against Kaleigh Welch in the final.

“He has won six of eight so far this year, and his mom and I could not be more proud,” said Ian’s dad Roger. “He started racing at eight years old. One more year of Jr. Dragsters, then he can’t wait to be on a bike!”

VooDoo Grudge
Saturday night saw some good, old-time VooDoo Grudge racing. Even with the Muhammad Ali of Grudge—Keith “Shine” Dennis—on hand, the highlight Grudge race of the weekend was between NHDRO regulars Wiggle and Canman. Wiggle spun and Canman won.

Shutdown Area
Brian and Niki Welch are brewing up more Big plans with a Big Index Shootout for NHDRO’s June 11-13 Vanson Leathers sponsored event at beautiful U.S.131 Motorsports Park in Martin, Michigan. NHDRO is the most fun a racer can have on two wheels, so you gotta be there!

Find out more about NHDRO at http://www.nhdroracing.com/

That old trike was a real Frankenstein’s monster. She was the back end of a Corvair of a 1960 vintage and a front end of a Honda CB 500. She had a full-size keg gas tank on the chariot bed over the engine. The driver seat was a plastic Baja bucket. The passenger seat was none.

Just a little history of what started me on the biker’s road.

My wife totally disliked this monstrosity. We made our first motorcycle rally on this old girl. It was the first run of the Summer. The year was 1976 I believe. The run was the Kern River run over Memorial weekend.

We left Torrance with a little money in our pockets, clothes on our backs, some food essentials, some tools and a couple of bottles of Portuguese homemade wine.

We all left together (the South Bay bros and their ol’ ladies) on that Friday after we were all off work. But then there was the dread congestion of LA traffic. Unfortunately, no lane-splitting for me. I had to get there as if I was in a car. I didn’t think about that. We all separated, and they got there about an hour before us.

This is and has been the major disadvantage of trikes.

We all looked for each other the next day because it was almost nightfall when my wife and I arrived in the meandering Kern River valley. Most of us entered on the 99, from where the 99 and the interstate 5 split. We rolled through fields to the outskirts of Bakersfield through Miracle Hot Springs, Bodfish and past Lake Isabella.

The Kern is like a large stream twisting and turning between massive granite boulders. It creates dozens of hideouts in a winding valley sheltered by the summer sun.

We found a place to camp down below the dam of Isabella. We found some bikers that offered us a spot and the weekend party began for us.

The next morning into town we went for some breakfast and to find our pals. We found each other at a local dinner in town.

In the process, the trike started cutting out all the way to town. I figured out the points were about gone. I thought I would never stiff a waitress for a tip, but I did that day. I need as much cash as I could muster for a new set of points. My wife got the girls name and mailed the tip to the restaurant under her name.

I got the points and condenser and had no feeler gauge to set the points. I must have looked perplexed because an older biker asked me what was the problem? I explained the situation and he had a solution, natch.

The guy pulled out a packet of matches and told, “This is what we use in a pinch.”

I ask him, “What you gonna do, set it on fire?”

“No,” He scold at me, and he tore of the back of the book of matches. “I am going to set the points with the paper cover. It just so happens that the paper thickness is about the same thickness as the proper feeler gauge for the points on a Harley and a Corvair.

He got the deal done and I thanked him, and we all went on our way.

We hauled ass, barking up the narrow valley to the slide and to the tubs to party the rest of the day with our friends. We partied and putt around all day and after we had dinner, we all headed back to where we camped that night.

Next, hang on for another chain of events kind of like the ones before.

The next leg of the trip: We started to roll back to where we camped that night. I turned the lights on for the trip back to town and after a while the trike goes dead. All the electrical was toast and so was the battery.

We could only camp on the side of a hill, off the road and hopefully get back to town the next morning. We all got some sleep and the next morning the trike started and off we headed to the gas station for a battery charge.

Fortunately, the trike held a car battery, and it could handle a big car-battery charger. It didn’t take too long to charge and then we were off for home. The weekend came mysteriously to an end.

I lost my sheath knife and got ticked off. I blamed my wife for it. We both left it on the bed of the trike. I started riding that thing like a madman over a stupid knife.

My wife said to slow that thing down or she would get off and get a ride home. I did as she asked after I processed how stupid I was acting. Fortunately, as she is still my wife after 35 years

When we got home, I started to diagnose the electrical and found that the voltage regulator was never grounded. I fixed it and rode it until I sold it for down payment on our first Harley-Davidson Lowrider.

There ya go, a trike story.

–Gearhead

The mall near where I live, and which has a bowling alley emporium has declared that at least until further notice customers may actually eat food in the “food court.” Which is where you get-and-eat food to eat in the food court, but which has been forbidden-behavior for nearly a year and a half in the interests of safety so that 3,000-year-old-granny and 3,000-pound Normal American Diabetic Big Fat Pig-Lady won’t die of the flu.

The emphasis and claim and theory and idea and notion and hunch and guess and maybe and could be and “let’s do this!” of closing the food court to food and also to the eating of food within the food court is that if you do things that have absolutely no bearing on whether or not you get the flu….you will be “safe” from the flu. A flu which is not inherently dangerous to 99% of the human population, assuming there still is a human rather than a subhuman population on this planet.

So in other words….if you do things that have no bearing on whether you will or will not get a virus that you will easily survive even if you do get it, and which if you do get it, it will likely come from a source that you have not been ordered to avoid or from a behavior pattern you have not been ordered to discontinue….if you do all these meaningless things (and in fact counter-productive, things, since becoming-unemployed, becoming isolated, becoming-paranoid, becoming-anxious, and becoming-angry are some of the safety protocols your Government Health Removers have put into place to put you into place, and in fact to lower your resistance to viruses)….you will be safe!

You want to be safe, don’t you? What could be worse than not being safe? I’m thinking, nothing! Remember: “In safe there is freedom.”

So……as I meandered around the food court watching all the people now being allowed to use the food court to eat food in, I made my way over to the nearby nightclub-like bowling emporium which had been shut down for almost a year and a half, so that people would be safe from bowling. And as I entered and tried to reacquaint myself with pre Insane-Health-Advisor life I meandered slowly around the bowling palace with my still-mandatory mask on, watching the still-mandatory masked bowlers with their still-mandatory masks on, and I noticed 1: they didn’t have gloves on and I noticed 2: they all had rented shoes.

I remember I looked at all this and contemplated quietly what I was seeing. My mind began an electrical and chemical journey of thought that took me down a pathway filled with fascinating logical anomalies.

I thought about all the middle and ring fingers and all the thumbs that were penetrating deep into the boreholes that bowling balls have, and wriggling around in there and then doing this over and over again, as the ball left their fingers and then rolled back to their hands, which had the fingers on them, and which balls were then fondled and caressed and hurled again via the hands of the teens and young adult males and females, these bowling hands frequently going, not only into the bowling balls but also going into the crotches of themselves or into and down the crotches of others in delight and exultation at a “strike” or a “spare” with all manner of homosexual and heterosexual clasps and grips and enclosings of fingers onto breasts and butts and cocks and balls, and every one of them, once in a while, on and off, one at a time, or maybe in pairs, leaving the lanes and ambling over to the shit-and-fecal depositories called “restrooms” and doing all manner of dactyl tasks involving zippers and underclothing and toilet-porcelain and – maybe actually there, maybe not – toilet paper, and bowling fingers approaching and/or entering rectal canal passageways for internal sewage transport via wiping or moving-around or smearing anal smudge from one location, over and into an intermediary transport route via bowling fingers, for release into a municipal plumbing apparatus called a toilet that is “cleaned” MAYBE once a day, the bowler’s fingers now having visited their own syphilitic anuses and groins and crotches and urinators and fecaloria and using them for the opening and closing of the sewage-room doors and grappling with the fecal-smearing waxlike toilet “paper” and the bowling fingers doing some housekeeping regarding the de-smegging of the foreskin-rollover accumulations, and the guys, as they will, clawing at their testicles just for fun and a quick cheap thrill, and of course the gals dealing with their issues of blood and erupting herpes colonies and penicillin-resistant gonorrhea and chlamydia outbreaks and patches of Martian Vulvic Toxic Shock Coagularia-mold and of course the “homeless” of both sexes who now have mandatory accessibility to everything up to and including the stabbing of children to death and who use “restrooms” to sleep in and sometimes to die in….and meanwhile the bowlers in their masks are stepping on and stepping over these people, most of whom have more diseases wafting off their body-heat than the bowlers would have in a gallon of spit that they poured into a sewer and then scooped out and drank….

….and THEN…..they’re doing all this bacterial, viral, and godonlyknowswhatelse-al activity….. in someone ELSE’S wtf SHOES!

Or I should say Countless Others’ wtf shoes. Which shoes are all filled with fungus and athletes’ skin-eradicator disease, trenchfoot, fungoidal toe blight, Blister Ooze Anomaly disease, pustule foot-leak, Toenail Sewage Syndrome, gelatinous heel drainage, callus/corn crapflow crust rot and which shoes rats likely use to sleep in at night when everything is dark and all the stinky bowling shoes are back in their open-air slots for the rats and mice to piss and vomit in before the next day’s masked and staying-safe customers come in to not get the flu.

I thought about bringing all of my meandering thoughts and imaginings and suppositions and points-to-ponder to the human dirigible grease-metabolizer “working” behind the step-up-and-get-drunk counter and snack-dispensary, but then I realized, no: that would be like talking to a dead-and-fallen pine tree in the middle of an abandoned and prehistoric forest on the dark side of a lost and isolated moon circling the sun in an orbit that was far beyond the elliptical pathway of Pluto.

He was overflowing and radiating every qualification necessary to be a city mayor or a State governor or maybe even a health advisor because he was certainly physically repulsive enough and he had the life force of a farm animal. He waved me goodbye, and I waved back and said “Stay safe!”

He gave me a thumbs up and hollered “Stay the course! We’re almost there!”

I thumbs-upped back and yelled through my mask “Good times!!” I made the victory sign and shouted “Peace, mah bruhthuh!!!”

I could feel his spiritual energy change from torpid dormancy to sudden, lustrous, radiating, invigoration joy.

Hey, it’s a gift: fucking with people and convincing them that I’m not. Not that Americans seem to have a problem being fucked with.

I would make a fantastic bureaucrat.

Stay safe!

J.J. Solari,
cub reporter
food court update dept.
Bikernet.com Medical Center
Los Angeles

 I know it is going to be good reading because she wrote it and she does have a story to tell. Though I have learned a lot about her over the years I am sure I will even learn more by reading the book.

If you have ever seen her perform as Bag Lady Sue or have heard about her I am sure you will find her story interesting.

You can find out more about her and order the book from her website www.bagladysue.com

If you have an event, club, bar, veteran’s organization etc. and want to liven it up she is also doing shows.