Politics and the Iowa State Fair

 

Few things left in America are more patriotic than the Iowa State Fair, especially during election season. Politicians flock to Des Moines to vie for their positions as they enter the upcoming Iowa Caucus.

This year was no different, as the livestock and rides and food competed with GOP hopefuls for the attention of fairgoers… they wore their t-shirts and shook hands and kissed babies and flipped burgers and in the case of Ramswammy, even sang an Eminem rap song.

 

But, of course the greatest showman ever to grace the halls of the White House over-shadowed everyone else, as he swooped low over the fairgrounds in his big giant runway penis of an airplane… and even more so as he heckled his closest competitor, Ron DeSantis. A plane flew over the fairgrounds that said, ‘Be Likable, Ron!’

 

 

The Trumpster himself strolled the fairways wearing smiles and waves and an open collar, with hundreds of supporters trailing along behind him. His hardest dig at DeSantis was probably the gaggle of Florida Senators and Representatives who flanked him like he was Elvis Presley… Rep. Matt Gaetz was even wearing a ‘Florida Man’ tee, and was quoted as saying, ‘We got pork that’s more well done than Ron DeSantis.’

When Trump entered the area where politicians take turns at the grill, he was handed a pork chop on a stick. He briefly held it aloft before offering it to a right-wing television personality nearby, who proceeded to eat it.

Later, Mr. Trump spoke inside the Steer N’ Stein beer building, which advertises its extra cold 27-degree brews and on Saturday had a “MAGA Meal Day” special of “$24 for 2024” that included a double cheeseburger, “freedom fries” and a coke. During this time, he spoke with Florida Rep. Brian Mast, an Afghanistan Veteran, who lost both legs in war. President Trump threw his arms around Mast and helped him off the stage himself and brought the house down. Before he took the stage, Mr. Trump’s team handed out leaflets attacking Mr. DeSantis for his position on agricultural issues, calling him an “utter catastrophe” for farmers.

The lesser known candidates made a showing too, with Nikki Haley flashing pearly smiles, Kennedy waving his ruddy charm, and Asa Hutchinson walking around talking about Reagan.

Going by the patriotic turnout and high energy competition between candidates, this election season will go down in history… and would be even if the front runner wasn’t facing multiple bullshit indictments from across the aisle.