Sportster mods will hit an all-time high with the new rubbermounted chassis wrapped securely around the upgraded 2004 drive train. We needed a tech sizzling with Sportster custom upgrades. By the grace-of-god a call came through to the headquarters one strange, sorta evil, morning. Terrie called and told us about her Sporty, “My '91 Sporty was lacking in style and sex appeal.”
Even though the wind whistled and baneful tune, ripping shingles off the headquarters, and a dense cold froze the black cat's tail off, I listened.
Terrie and her husband.
“When my husband purchased his custom Road King from Lucky Devil, I was not going to allow him to out do me, so I decided to see what the Lucky Devil could do for me,” Terrie said and her voice oozed sexuality.
I was intrigued, but remembered the angry reader squawking at Bandit about our Softail project. I lost focus on her project at the time, but I called her back. She helped me through one depraved obstacle. I wanted to see the outcome of her Sportster. In a sense I felt blessed by her calls.
“We explored all the options,” she said as if she was going to explain sexual positions during a wild orgy. “The transformation began with discussing conceptual design.”
Curious I called the shop and someone answered the phone. “Is this Lucky?” I asked.
The crew of Lucky Devil. I still don't know who is Lucky or the Devil. Not sure I want to know.
“No, and you're not either,” the voice snapped. “Get one thing straight. You're in the hands of the Devil, now.”
I was caught off guard, then discovered that my religious assumptions had pushed the wrong buttons. I was on the other side of the tracks, now.
“I get it,” I said without a blink. “Can we discuss Terrie's Sportster project?”
“I doubt it if you ever will,” the voice sounded strangely depraved and perhaps violent. I had experienced knife-wielding maniacs in dark bars, but this voice conjured a knowing bullet's cold strength. The wind outside twisted the shutters off the headquarters and threw them in the street. I shut up and listened.
“First we installed the fat boy style front end and one of our internal fork stop modifications,” he muttered as if ordering me to take notes. “We got started on the sheet metal. We made the front fender from an old stock Sportster rear fender, we reshaped, remounted it and filled all the unwanted holes. Then we started fabricating the flames. They are hand fabricated from 3/16 and 1/4-inch solid round bar.
“After we shaped them we welded and molded them to the fenders and gas tank. We also trimmed the sides of the fenders with the same material and finished the trim in the same fashion to make light work for the painter (Simsons Custom Paint helped us with this one, keeping the use of bondo filler to a minimum).”
“The license plate, taillight mount is also a hand fabricated item that was mounted to the swingarm with 2 3/8-inch socket head fasteners, concealed in some counter bored round stock.”
“We also cut the exhaust pipes and chain guard in the shapes of hell's flames. Then we chromed out the motor, installed some custom twisted spoke wheels, new chrome sprocket and polished rotors, pullback drag bars with internal wiring and modern curvy chrome hand controls (instead of the more square old style ). Finally we added forward controls, then we took a Le Pera seat and reshaped the foam to fit Terries delicate ass just a little better, recovered it and added some custom stitching with a little help from the Devil. Then we got the biggest payoff of all . . . . ” The phone went dead and I immediately called back.
The gravely voice, sharp as broken glass, was replaced with Terrie's voluptuous vowels. “As the project progressed, Lucky Devil kept me involved in every major design consideration.” Her voice bubbled with euphoria. “I can't tell you how happy I was with the end results. I love everything from the wider front end and larger tank, to the raised flames and intricate sheet metal work. It's truly twisted steel with sex appeal.”
I was beginning to get the creeps. Here's their phone 281-477-3590. You call 'em.
