2008 Smoke Out West Debacle

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Bandit's favorite redhead, Kara.

The Smoke Out has a reputation to uphold. The event is like a cup of strong coffee for the motorcycle world, coffee with a shot of Busch Mills Irish Whiskey. It’s not coffee though, the Smoke Out is a large, steaming-hot-cup of chopperness with a healthy shot of crazy stirred in.

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Yes, the special ingredient is the crazy. It’s a Billy Bob Thorton freaky type crazy that we can’t even order. It has to be brought in by the chopper freaks who ride in for the jubilation. So there were concerns when we decided to take the event West. What if the crazy doesn’t arrive?

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Well Cherie, fret no more because the chopper-freaks that bring the crazy rode into Smoke Out West with saddlebags over-flowing with the precious commodity. We had a plethora of the Big-C. Some guys rode into the event with carved pumpkins on there heads (non-DOT approved). Others rode in sporting Past Blue Ribbon 12 pack boxes on their heads and the necessary eyeholes cut in the boxes, for safety plus Raybans. There was a float being pulled around by a trike that had statues of 10-foot-high metal men and by nightfall the air was clogged with dust from the mini-bike races. Charlie in the chicken suit seemed to be the fastest mini-bike rider. This is the unplanned C that is so necessary to make the event a Smoke Out.

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On the actual planned side of things the weekend was jam-packed. There were five bands. The High Rollers and Grave Danger laid down some Rockabilly / Pysco-Billy along with Friday’s headliner the Belmont Playboys who flew in from North Carolina. The Detroit Cobras headlined Saturday night.

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For those unfamiliar with the event (you suck but don’t take it personal), let me digress a moment and explain that we have a WTF band at each Smoke Out. A band that invokes the uninitiated to look around for the brief moment when they can tear their eyes from the stage to mutter, “What the hell is this?” and then stay for the show in jaw dropped wonderment.

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One year we had a blue grass band that played only AC/DC covers. Another year it was the Unknown Hinson complete with Gustav (Hinson’s manservant that he reanimated from the dead). The WTF band is always special. This year the WTF band was Uncle Scratch’s Gospel Revival. Brother Ant and Brother Ed from Uncle Scratch churched up the sinners in the audience, expounded on why Tom Cruise was going to hell and why Johnny Cash is in heaven and they did it with a good drum beat, hot guitar licks and rubber snakes. Uncle Scratch is already signed to play the Smoke Out 10th Anniversary final weekend in Rockingham, NC in 2009.

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The smok’en hot AZ Derby Dames didn’t fail to entertain and they rivaled the wet T-shirt contest in the department of people jockeying to get a better look, really impressive when you consider they kept their tank tops and shorts on. Women on skates who throw the occasional punch and tackles are so intriguing. They added chick boxing which was … what’s the word I am looking for… oh yea… awesome.

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When it was all said and done the biggest highlight is always the bikes. The event started with a gathering of guys and girls that burn midnight oil in garages and sheds across the globe to unveil their latest progenies to the Chopper World. The HORSE Backstreet Choppers Magazine and Smoke Out sponsored by Bikernet.com is THE nexus of this bizarre, even if it is somewhat small, sub-culture that seems to have influenced the greater motorcycle world outside. For example, I look at the huge Harley-Davidson Corporation and when I look at the Nightster and Dark Custom bikes I realize how much influence our small sub-culture has had on the outside world.

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I say it's the girls.

If you missed it this year don’t let it happen again. Bandit and Sin Wu are already committed to next year’s event and like I said it is the 10th Anniversary, so check SmokeOutRally.com for the details. Pack a little crazy in your bedroll for the rest of us to enjoy and plan on being at the next Smoke Out.

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–Edge

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