Well kids, it's time to jump on the 2009 Harley-Davidsons. Apparently, I didn't piss anyone off enough (for once) so, they're gonna let me continue riding and writing (?). Yipee!
Bandit calls and says, ” Hey Jon, they have a bike for you down at the Holding Facility.” Great, I'll be there first thing tomorrow morning (which is actually 2:30 P.M. for me).
“Hey Jon,” Bandit says, “What are you going to call the article? It's a Fat Boy ya know.”
Yeah, I know. It's a Fat boy, a F-A-T B-O-Y, wudda ya gonna call it, boy? Yeah I get it shecky! Yes, I'm gonna call it a Fat Boy on the Fat Boy…ya happy now, funny fuck? Much laughter on the other end of the line, I hung up on him.
Not from being offended or anything like that, rather, I was a little pissed that I didn't think of it first! The next morning I bummed another ride from Kevin Blaty from Blaty Racing, to the Holding Facility. Upon arrival, I saw the Fat Boy…. Thank God! It's not blue and black this time, instead, it's a really stunning metal flake, deep red…a very handsome ride.
I take off and once again head for the deadly SO. CAL freeway system. Whoa, what the fuck? This steering is different, I'll check it out when I get home. It's very stable on the road, in a straight line. No wobble or shit like that. This baby was really detailed at the Holding Facility.
They keep all the bikes very clean down there, but this one looks like it just came off the showroom floor, but it didn't. A hand full of editors from various media have had their way with her before me, but she looked great. Alan Barsi at the Facility watches over each new model example (Alan, never mind the c-note for that….it's the holidays, we'll let it go). He's responsible for an entire fleet of H-Ds and Buells for the motorcycle media, commercial filming, displays and Hollywood movie opportunities.
Two days later (hey, I have other shit to do too) I ride to my usual local spots to get to know her. I didn't have as much road time on this model as the others, as it had to be turned in a tad sooner than usual, but that's okay, I didn't need the extra time.
The Fat Boy is made for cruising, she does it well. She's not real happy with an occasional flicking or whipping about. Yeah, I know, cruising is the general purpose of the Harley line up, but on a good number of the line up, I can flick her around some old lady's Buick or do a little high spirited riding. The Fat Boy doesn't like that and she tells you so. To me, it takes much more input from the arms than the others, and she is one of the “lighter” bikes in the line- up at 714 lbs, with all fluids, and that includes all the beer in my gut, and a full tank of gas.
Shit, I just spent two days on a nine-foot long custom chopper and even it was effortless in the adrenaline/high jinx department. I couldn't figure it out at first (as usual) but then it became semi-apparent to this fat boy (me). It's that front end.
I compared the '09 Softail Deluxe and the '09 Electra glide Standard to the fatty, both of which I thought were good bikes in '08. So lets dump some rake and trail numbers on the table. I'm not real hip to their meaning, but you are. The Fat Boy is 31 degrees, 5.80 inches of trail and the Softail Deluxe has 32.1 degrees, 5.80 in. while the Electra Glide is 26 deg. 6.69 in.
Last year the Fat Boy jumped to 17-inch wheels front and back…same, this year. They also threw a 200 rear on her. For me, steering the Deluxe and the Electra was far better than the Fat Fuck, uh, I mean Fat Boy. Dancin' around was just easier on the other two. I guess I'm missing something because I am aware of the fact that the Fat Boy sells very well.
Fer shit sakes, Cycle World Magazine named the '08 Fat Boy “best cruiser.” I don't know, maybe those bigger 17-inchers may be part of it, or possibly those big heavy solid-pie plates they use for rims may be the culprit. I do know that big front rim can act as a sail in bigger cross winds.
A few weeks back when we had those crazy ass fires here in SOCAL, I rode the big fatty up to Yorba Linda to check on my sister's house during the fires while she was at work. On the north bound 55 freeway in strong Santa Ana cross winds, the bike reminded me of my sailing days on a Hans Christian 38, leaning towards the wind.
No shit, I was leaning, kinda hanging off to the right side of the bike to go straight. Not a whole lot of fuckin' fun.
So there we have it. My scientific conclusion is that big heavy-ass front rim takes Mr. smile from my mug, even though the pipes did have a really nice sound, which kinda brought back a sheep-ish grin.
Now dig, Cycle World goes on to say, “It's hard to argue with a perennial favorite.” Again, I'm missing something here fellas.
However, when they said, “It's equipped with one of the finest, most satisfying six-speed gearboxes and a new, light pull clutch,” I got that part. They were 100% correct in that statement. The shifting was as smooth as a 25-year-old chick's breast. Clutch pull was very easy or light as a feather. Finding neutral was always spot on, whether the motor was cold or hotter than hell…never an issue, and that 96 cubic inch motor had plenty of power to blast past a truck or get out of a sticky situation.
The Fat Boy cruises very well but, for me, that about sums it up. A lot of folks like this model, and that's great. If I were to buy this bike, here's a few things I'd do right from the get-go. I'd install the polished stainless highbars that come on the Heritage Softail. Although the stock bars do turn into one inch at the grip area, very cool I have to say, I just don't think those low bars help with the steering issues I had.
There's a cat up the street who has highbars on his Fat Boy and it looks great. He also says it handles better too. I'd dump the seat that came on the stock bike they let me test. I don't know about you, but I don't like a metal Harley Davidson logo plate, hot stamped on my asshole when I ride, wudda fuck? Who knows, maybe it's a nehemorrhoidid check option or somethin'.
I'd put some self-bought saddlebags on to cover up that fat ass looking fender and rear end. I would keep that beautiful paint job that came on my bike. The chrome work was top grade, but I wouldn't chrome the alloy rims. That's kinda like putting spandex on my old carcass. After a few times in the rain and add some road grime, you'd possibly see some peeling on both. An ugly thought either way, which, by the way will cost you $700 for chrome on the wheels (Like I know what the fuck I'm talking about when it comes to metals).
Okay, grab yer keys and lock up the house, it's time for us to get outta here. So, I must throw in that the Fat Boy pulls nice and strong with that 96 cubic inch motor. Five gallons of fuel and 3.5 quarts of Texas Tea will get you way down the road with no worries. She has some of my favorites, floor boards and a fuel gage which I am now heavily spoiled by.
With a 180-pound human sitting on her, seat height is about 25.4 inches, and that should be fine even for midgets like me. They (whoever, they are) claim mileage at about 54 hwy, 35 city. She starts at $16,000 and of course you can rack that up higher by choosing different color schemes or graphics for an extra $344 bucks or, custom painted sheet metal for a mere $824.
A complete security system will hit you at $345, and of course Californians get that lovely Sen. Boxer $200 fee for no fuckin' apparent reason. This is a fine ride, for most types of riding. She has pure Harley-Davidson traditional quality, and again, unit sales say the Fat Boy would be a great choice for many….and that includes, yooze! Alright, enough, fer Christ sake, I'm outta here.
Oh, by the way, I'll be back with some slop on the '09 Street Bob…..Jon-
FLSTF FAT BOY MODEL FACTORY OVERVIEW
One of the world’s most distinctive motorcycles, the FLSTF Fat Boy rolls with a size and stature second to none. The Fat Boy rides wide on a 200 mm rear tire and 17-inch front wheel and bright chrome fork nacelle. Unique premium components like Bullet Hole Disc Aluminum wheels and fat front forks identify this Softail as the iconic Fat Boy. New optional mirror polished chrome-plated wheels can accentuate the Fat Boy look.
FLSTF Fat Boy features:
Rigid-mount, 1584cc Twin Cam 96B balanced engine
6-speed Cruise Drive transmission
Black powder-coated engine with chrome covers
Chrome Over/Under Shotgun exhaust
Chrome horseshoe oil tank
200 mm-17 rear / 140 mm-17 front tire
Silver Bullet Hole Disc Cast Aluminum 17-inch wheels
Two-tone seat with bullet laced valence
1.25-inch custom internally wired handlebar with Bare Knuckle risers
Custom graphics package on front fender, fuel tank and rear fender
Five-gallon traditional Fat Bob fuel tank with laced triple bullet strap
New optional mirror polished chrome-plated wheels
Chrome front fork nacelle
Full-length floorboards with heel/toe shift leverFL front forks and custom front fender
Large chrome headlight
Optional Smart Security System
Optional Polished and Chrome Bullet Hole Disc Cast Aluminum 17-inch wheels
