By JonTowle
Editor's Note:We could fuck up a wet dream, and we do regularly. This is a helluva example. We should have published it six months ago before the new models slipped into the market place. I don't like making excuse, but Jon Towle, our esteemed test rider has endured family and physical hell. But that's okay, we'll give him hell throughout this feature anyway. I'll make comments in the photo captions–Renegade.
I've wanted to jump on this bike ever since I first saw it. I was strolling the Cycle World International Bike Show aisles a couple few years ago, in the Socialist Republic of California, when I saw the Nightster. Finally my time had come, same ol' routine, I jumped on the freeway from the H-D holding facility, and aimed for home. What a great fuckin' ride.
Very stable, really comfortable and she fit me like a glove. A beautiful rust-red color coated the sheet metal. It almost looked like I painted it with a spray can from Wal-Mart…very cool. Bare bones production bike, ya gotta love that shit. Semi high bars, solo seat (yes, there are times when the little lady must park her ass for a ride), bobbed rear fender with a great tail light/brake/turn signal combo! Plus those great rock solid forks like those on the Low Rider, which happens to be my most favorite bike in the line up…thick as the bullshit that comes out of Washington. But, all things must pass, so this baby is the winner for this moment, with a seat height of only 26.8 inches, and that's before my ton-age straddles the poor thing. Just about anyone with the exception of a squashed spider should be able to plant both dogs on the floor with ease while sittin' on this one.
I've been in a constant debate over the Twin Cam engines. I still like the simplicity and classic refinement of the Evo, but as the need for more ridiculous, bone breaking power increases, the platform for 110 plus engines needed the solid infrastructure twin cams deliver. I may just end up being a rebel in favor of the classic separate, single-cam shaft, V-twin until the end.
They say she chimes in at 634 pounds dry. It feels much lighter than that number. I wonder why they list the weight without all of the fluids and fuel introduced into the picture? Have you ever ridden a bike dry? Fucker won't even start! So, quit with the dry weight crap. Fill it up, top it off and then put it on the scale fer shit sakes. What, are we in grade fuckin' school here or something? Give the real weight. This has always drove me nuts.
Here's another listing, all of the manufacturers do, that make me crazy: Estimated/average M.P.G. They all (read the fine print) perform this test with a 180 lbs human, during perfect riding conditions. Who the fuck rides in perfect conditions 24/7? How about handling it real world. Perform one test with Mr. Perfect in perfect conditions. Then fire up another round with a fat fucker, riding in strong head wins, up a hill, in LA bumpe-to-bumper traffic, and then once more with a skinny dude in a rain storm. Do that kind of shit and then round it off. You know why that will never happen, because no manufacture would be able to collect those inflated numbers. Not the American bikes, the Japs, the Germans, Italians….none of 'em. We're all aware that bikes get way better mileage than a fuckin' cage…….stop it already!
This bike reminds me of an old iron head sporty we will rebuild in the near future. It's sitting in my garage (ask a British cat how they pronounce that word, it's damn funny). They tried to make the Street Bob kinda like a '70s bobber, which hits me the right way, hence my choice for the Ironhead rebuild. Of course the Street Bob is bigger than my basket case, but I think you can dig what I'm sayin' here. If you like that era, this bike will give you wood, as a production bike that has a lot of work already finished for you. She's sweet the way she is. One of the many things I like about this bike is that H-D is copying H-D. They're snagging notions from previous Dyna owners.
Think about it for a second. Everyone replicates Harley-Davidson, who has always had the corner market on this shit. Fuckin' Honda just came out with a bike called, “The Fury.” It's a facsimile of a Harley chopper, copied from Harley copier? It's enough to make yer head spin. Fuck 'em all……Harley-Davidson copied itself truer than the copiers….fucking brilliant!
I really enjoyed the saddle time on this one. Unfortunately, said saddle time was cut short even though they let me have more time on this model. You see, I thought it was a grand idea to drop off some photos of a previous test to Bandit out in the badlands of Wilmington, California. It happens to have roads reminiscent of a war zone in Iraq. Let me explain the roads there. This town is right at Los Angles Harbor, one of the busiest shipping ports in the world. So, you have 10,000 ship hands on leave from every walk of life, from all over the world, bouncing around horny as hell looking for pussy and dodging the 40,000 crazy Mexicans driving big rigs from the port to god knows where. These trucker fuckers are flooring it in those big ass heavy rigs and just tearing the shit out of the roads in the area.
Here I come, innocently, happily puttin' along on my fine ride. It looks like bumps and pot holes from incoming shell fire, and oh so much fun to dodge or get slammed by. Sneaky fuckers too, those pot holes. Just when the road is smooth for a spell, ya think they're gone, but noooo! I smacked one that came out of nowhere, going too fast to react. I personally think this particular one came into existence about 30 seconds before my arrival. I was really gassin' it when I punched the foreword lip of this grand canyon hole and it just about sent me down into the abyss. The bike handled it, but I wasn't so lucky with my body.
I didn't go down (a miracle) and held on like this was a death grip or die, effort. We limped back to the Bikerenet Headquarters. Bandit, myself and three shop techs looked over the bike and found no damage. It's a fucking Harley, what would ya expect? The official Bikernet Headquarters nurse looked me over with considerable poking and prodding and questions….
“Does anything hurt?”
“No!”
“Did you crap yer pants from the incident? You smell like it.”
“No!
“Then quit yer bitchin', ya pussy,” said Sin Wu, and slapped me on the ass.
“Thank you, ma'am.
I'm thinkin', this ain't right…something had to have broke or I should be in pain or some shit like that. Nothing, Nada….all seemed fine, so I thought. The next morning, pain hit….pain from the depths of hell itself! like a.44 shot into my shoulder. Had to call my bro (no, not some riding pal) but my biological brother and tell him I needed to go to a doctor as I was passing out from the pain, and thought it might not be a good idea to be driving at this point. After hours past, pills took effect and some booze filled my veins, it was at least tolerable. So, there the Street Bob sat in my garage. Wudda drag. A perfectly bitchen ride sitting there while my shoulder hung like a limp dick.
A couple of days later I was shootin' the shit with my neighbor and he said, “dude, yer left shoulder is hanging way lower than the other.” I sez, “yeah, well it was up late last night and it's kinda tired.” What am I supposed to say…a bump in the road kicked my ass? Anyway, the bike was a blast and I wished I had more time with her, but when you're me, this kind of shit happens. It's the, “Towle,” curse, and I'm thinking of changing my last name. With that said, let's get into some figures and shit about the Street Bob with one of those fancy factory charts. It will tell yooze just about everything ya wanna know about this here bike. See ya soon, Jon Towle–
FXDB DYNA STREET BOB MODEL OVERVIEW
A modern distillation of classic post-war Bobber design, the Dyna Street Bob is stripped down to the edge of street-legal trim. That look gets refined for 2009, with a new rear fender chopped even higher and topped with a curved, retro LED tail light. The solo seat gets redesigned, and new laced wheels feature gloss black rims. Internally wired mini-ape-hanger bars, the authentic Fat Bob fuel tank and wrinkle-black trim complete the minimalist Street Bob profile.
FXDB Street Bob features:
Vibration isolated Twin Cam 96 engine
6-speed Cruise Drive transmission
New black and silver powder-coated engine with non-highlighted cylinder fins
New gloss black steel laced wheels 19-inch front / 17-inch rear
New 25.6-inch solo seat
New chopped rear fender
New retro-LED tail light
New stop/tail/turn incandescent rear signals
New silver-faced speedometer with range countdown
New low profile front fender
New fuel sender
New Straight Cut Chrome Staggered Shorty Dual exhaust
160 mm-17 rear / 100 mm-19 front tires
4.8-gallon Fat Bob fuel tank
Mini ape-hanger-style handlebar
29-degree fork angle
Wrinkle-black console, battery cover and belt guard
Mid-mount foot controls
Optional Anodized Aluminum Profile laced wheelsOptional Smart Security Systembox
