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Things You Don?t See Everyday- From Miller4Nitro
BIKERNET SMART ASS REMARKS?
Smart-ass Answer #1
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to checktickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticketand he opened his trench coat and flashed her. Without missing abeat…she said, “Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.”
Smart-ass Answer #2
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,but couldn’t find one big enough for her family. She asked a stockboy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?” The stock boy replied, “Noma’am, they’re dead.”
Smart-ass Answer #3
The cop got out of his car and the kid who was stopped for speedingrolled down his window. “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” thecopsaid. The kid replied, “Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.”When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his waywithout a ticket.
Smart-ass Answer #4
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up thatreads “Low bridge ahead!” Before he knows it, the bridge is rightahead of him and he gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backedupfor miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of hiscar and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands on hishipsand says, “Got stuck, huh?” The truck driver says, “No, I wasdelivering this bridge and ran out of gas.”
and finally…..
Smart-ass Answer #5
THE TEACHER Smart-ass Answer OF THE YEAR:
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Nowclass, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being heretomorrow.I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury orillness, or a death in your immediate family but that’s it, nootherexcuses whatsoever!”
A smart-ass guy in the back of the room raised his hand andasks,”What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering fromcomplete and utter sexual exhaustion?”
The entire class does its best to stifle their laughter andsnickering.
When silence is restored, the teacher smiles sympathetically at thestudent, shakes her head, and sweetly says, Well, I guess you’dhaveto write the exam with your other hand.”
From S&C
BIKERNET NEW PRODUCT FROM ENERGY ONE–Having trouble finding neutral, having disengagement or clutch slippage problems with your Big Twin ?90 – ?97, Sportster & Buell ?91 to present? The fix is easy. Energy One Clutches offers a complete ?EXTRA PLATE? clutch kit which eliminates the OEM double riveted steel plate and the annoying rivets that work themselves loose. The Energy One kit not only eliminates the double riveted steel plate, it adds an extra friction plate and steel plate, making it a high performance extra plate kit.
The Energy One kit includes 9 high performance frictions, 8 steels and a 15% stronger diaphragm spring (Part No. BTX-11). Our parts are race proven and tested. Proud sponsor of the AHDRA Drags.
Energy One Clutches
(562) 698-7809 http://www.energyoneclutches.com
BIKER POEM–Hey Bandit, Not sure how you submit thing on this site so I thought that I would sendthis to you. Hope you like it.
Face in the sun
Wind in the hair
Bugs in the teeth
Smell of fresh air
Watch the world passing
Without a care
Roll the throttle on
Soon we’ll be there
Hear the pipes rumble
Lost in the sound
Every note sounds perfect
Time for a round
The girls they smile
The kids they wave
The guys look jealous
Riding in their cage
Pull into the bar
Friends gather round
Lift up to toast
That sweet rumbling sound
Now is the time for stories
And for lies to pass around
Remember that time last summer
When I almost went down
See that girl dancing
My she looks so sweet
Biker girls are best
They just can’t be beat
Now she’s coming over
Think I caught her eye
I’ll love you forever
Of course I wouldn’t lie
Get a little kiss
Buy another round
Better drink soon
The sun has gone down
Barmaid hollers out
Lights get bright
Last call is spoken
The end of the night
Tell your friends later
I’ll see you again
Tomorrows another day
Time to get in the wind
Walk out to the bike
Dig in the bags
Clear glasses are somewhere
Here, under the rags
Bike comes to life
Kick up the stand
Feel the power move through you
Aint this so grand
You leaving without me?
Comes a sweet voice
Please take me home
So what’s your choice?
Pull in the clutch
Push it into gear
Roll on some power
A little smoke from the rear
Arms and legs rapped around
Streetlights fade away
Smile on my face
A hell of a day
It’s what we where made for
Here we feel alive
Good times and bikes
This is where we thrive
Give a little twist
Just to hear the sound
Out goes the stand
Then shut her down
Lying in the bed
Her head on your chest
Eyes slowly close
Today was the best
By : Rusty Hylton
2004 Version–Daddy, how was I born?…….Ah, well, son, one day you will need to find out anyway!Here Goes: Mom & Dad got together in a chat room on MSN. Dad set up a datevia e-mail with your mom & we met at a cybercafe. We sneaked into a secludedroom. Your mother downloaded from dad’s memory stick & as soon as dad wasready for an upload, it was discovered that neither one of us had used afirewall. Since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine monthslater; a blessed little virus appeared.
And that’s the story.
From S&C
EVIL BASTARD ROLLING CHASSIS–The radical new line of CUSTOM ROLLING CHASSIS KITS just introduced by PRO-ONE have, without a doubt, some of the most creative names we?ve seen. And they actually do reflect the image produces by the different styles. Shown here is the EVIL BASTARD, a rigid chopper frame. The new roller reflects the company?s reputation for superior quality and workmanship with styling that?s right on the edge. EVIL BASTARD chassis are a perfect fit for 250, 280 and 300 applications and provide a nostalgic yet contemporary hard core chopper image. The frame is 1 ?? tubing with 6? over single or dual downtubes, 5? in the backbone and 40 degrees rake. A custom fit steel strutless rear fender is included as is the steel Longshot front fender, oil bag, stretched steel teardrop style gas tank and leather solo seat. PRO-ONE provides each kit with your choice of PRO-ONE 1-piece chrome billet rims, chrome billet brakes, forward controls, side mount license plate, headlight, 1 ?? pull back bars, 5 degree trees, matching rotors and drive pulley and more. EVIL BASTARD shown here includes optional assembly, custom paint, Sinister II wheels and custom stitched seat. For complete details contact PRO-ONE at 800-884-4173 or go to http://www.pro-one.com
BIKERNET COMPARISON–PROBLEM: Two books are for sale. Which to buy? “The Titanic” or “My Life” byBill Clinton?
Titanic: $29.99
Clinton: $29.99
Titanic: Over 3 hours to read.
Clinton: Over 3 hours to read.
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, andsubsequent catastrophe.
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
Clinton: Bill is a bullshit artist.
Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
Clinton: Ditto for Bill.
Titanic: During an ordeal, Rose’s dress gets ruined.
Clinton: Ditto for Monica.
Titanic! : Jack teaches Rose to spit.
Clinton: Let’s not go there.
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry.
Clinton: Monica’s forced to return her gifts.
Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
Clinton: Clinton doesn’t remember Jack.
Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
Clinton: Monica… oooh, let’s not go there, either.
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary… basically the same thing
Jay Hodge
S&S Officially Opens New La Crosse Distribution and Manufacturing Facility– LA CROSSE, WI (August 31, 2004) While S&S began operating out of its La Crosse facility on August 11th, the official “Revving Cutting” Ceremony took place today in the shipping docks. Beautiful weather allowed the 50+ employee motorcycles to arrive right on time for the celebration. The event was sponsored by 95.7 The Rock FM providing live coverage, by Grizzly’s providing barbeque sandwiches, and the La Crosse Area Chamber of Commerce. On hand were S&S Chairman of the Board, George Smith; S&S President, Brett Smith; Mayor of La Crosse, John Medinger; La Crosse Area Development President, James Hill; La Crosse Area Chamber of Commerce President, Dick Granchalek; and over 500 other dignitaries, friends, and employees.
“Today is certainly a cause for celebration, but the real work is ahead of us with new endeavors like powder coating, polishing, and manufacturing frames and billet components,” said Brett. “Not only did we officially open the new distribution facility, I promoted Gary Larson to Director of Logistics since we’ll need on-hand leadership here and he did such a tremendous job with the move. Now he’ll have the chance to do more with some of the initiatives I just mentioned.”
Brett closed, “I’m not only thankful for all the hard work of the employees and S&S team members, the support of the Board-particularly former Board member, Jack White, for facilitating this deal. I also want to thank our service providers like Virchow Krause, US Bank, and Foley & Lardner. Finally thanks to the City of La Crosse. However, God truly blessed all of us with this move and we will return those blessings by providing much needed manufacturing jobs in this area.”
“It is overwhelming for me to visualize the business back in 1980, when I took over as President after my Dad’s untimely death and see it now with my son leading us into a third generation of successful growth,” said George. “I am sure that Mom & Dad would be proud with what we accomplished and even more pleased to see that our second generation efforts translated into continued success with the third generation.”
S&S Cycle has been a leading manufacturer of Proven Performance V-Twin motorcycle components and engines for over 45 years. George Smith and Stanley Stankos founded the company in 1958 in Blue Island, Illinois. Shortly after the founding of S&S, George, and his wife Marjorie (whose maiden name was also Smith), bought out Stanley Stankos and Smith & Stankos became Smith & Smith (S&S). In 1969, S&S moved from Blue Island to Viola, Wisconsin and expanded to La Crosse, Wisconsin in 2004. This 3rd generation business supplies components and/or engines to several large custom OEs including: American Ironhorse, Arlen Ness, Big Bear Choppers, Big Dog, BMC, Bourget Bike Works, Hellbound Steel, Swift, Titan, Ultra, Vengeance, & Victory (please see the S&S website for a complete listing).
AEC Introduces Two Distinctive, Right-Side Drive Prowler Frames–American Engineering Company has two new frames on the prowl. The Prowler Halfmoon Chopper and Prowler Prostreet Style frames are set up for right-side drive and can fit tire sizes from 240 to 250. Each frame comes with a shot-peened surface and features accessories including a swingarm with bearings, weld-on gas tank mounts, internal fork stops, built-in neck bearing cups, splash guard, oil tank, an integrated transmission plate and a 1? axle with axle adjusters and covers. Call AEC for detailed information, and ask for it by name?Prowler! Dealer inquiries invited.
Thought the photo belonged on bikernet.com for all the vets.
Patriots,
This is a truly outstanding photo of a Marine AH-1W Cobra during the battle for Najaf. The aircraft pictured has just destroyed an enemy mortar position, the photo was shot by his wingman. The unit engaged are the “Coyotes” of HMLA-775, MCB Camp Pendleton, CA; reservists deep in the fight. Note the golden dome in the background, this is the Shiite’s most sacred mosque which was taken over and occupied by Al Sadre’s thugs.
Semper Fidelis
Agent Zebra
BIKERNET SUPPORT–I have not seen this personally but I do Know Grumpy and he is a good source.
Cityhawg posted this on HTT
How many have seen the new Toyota Tundra commercial ? If you havent it shows a biker on a 2 lane country road all by himself. He looks in his mirror and see`s 5 Tundras coming up fast. They force him to ride the center line of the road while they pass using both lanes. I called Toyota about this and gave them an ear-full. And we all know of someone who has been killed or injured by this type of driving.
This shows a complete disregard for motorcycle safety on the part of Toyota. If anyone wants to call them about this and demand that this commercial be pulled off the air call: 1-800-331-4331 option 3 and let them know we will not put up with this callous view of bikers.
They gave me a document number after registering my complaint. I did give up Phone and addy, but I think worth it.
1-800-331-4331 option 3, option 4.
Everybody should call and let them know what you think.
Grumpy : (
Rogue
Photo by Bob T.
That?s the news? Bandit returns home tomorrow – yay! I?ve really missed the big guy. It just isn?t the same around here without him cause a girl can only take so much relaxing, and then she needs a good strong man to come along and boss her around.
If I didn?t mention before where he?s been, that lucky bastards been in Alaska Salmon fishing, hiking, touching glaciers and enjoying the beautiful landscape ? without me. I can?t wait to see the pictures he taken and hear the fishing stories of the one that got away. Oh, about that email Bandit got, here you go.
Hi Bandit,
I was just doing a “Howard Kelly” search online and noticed a funny storyabout you having a scrape with Howie and the Primedia posse over some sortof misappropriation of funds thing or something. Oh well, by now you surelyknow that they offed the f** t** of l*** this past Friday and the entirebike industry has been dancing in the streets ever since. I’ve hoisted myshare of extra-dry martinis to celebrate the occasion.
Take care,
Mr. Unknown
Have a great weekend!
Layla
