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BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–
Happy Thanksgiving to all!!
So the bikes are already on PR soil, I guess I’ll take a few rides before the guys show up – just kiddin’, but the event is becoming a reality. At the same time Hank Young, of Flying Pan fame was shipping everything from Jacksonville, we are still waiting on the confirmation of a few other friends. Just to let you know, the swell is 5-7 ft and picking up!
From there I flew directly to Miami to attend a Von Dutch party at the Sagamore Hotel. The recent opening of South Beach’s Von Dutch store was the occasion. My friends from Von Dutch Kustom bikes invited me over and all had a really good time. Let me tell you, I go to many places, but South Beach in season is something not to be missed, can you say Mega Babes galore!!!
After some time at the party I decided to sit down and just watch the chicks go by. I’m talking super primo talent! After going to some of the new hot spots in Miami and really knowing how sardines actually feel, we took off for the Deuce, my favorite dive in South beach, and I guess that a really good time was had by all, since we left around 4:00 am. But it was not over. Jamie called from the new bar she’s managing and I got my ass over there, Automatic Slims, what a cool place, they even had a stripper pole in a corner and the patrons (chicks) were going at it like there was no tomorrow. Lucky I got there that late since they were already liquored up and being foolish.
Shadowing all the girls, there where the three cutest bartenders on the Beach. I had some Von Dutch gear which I promptly bribed them with, ’till Laura, the cutest one of all told me a little secret, that she had never been on a chopper and was dying to…..So what do I do at 5:00 am? Go back to the hotel and try, with no fucking success to get one of the Von Dutch bikes and give Laura the ride she wanted. The sad part of the story is that everyone was already in the land of the dead. My pleas on the room doors went unanswered cause it was way too fucking late, or early, whichever you prefer to hot wire one of those fuckers…..I had to go back to the bar empty handed and with a lot of promises. There was no ride for either of us that night. Like Mac Arthur said, ?I shall return?.
We spent Saturday hanging around. Some of my friends that are readers of the Horse showed up on their choppers and we had lunch, shot the shit a bit, and many times tried to steal their bikes and look for you know who.
Well, I’m back home, same pace as always, going insane. I guess I just figured out yesterday that Thanksgiving is NOW, so instead of turkey I will be having a nice dinner of bolts, sheet metal and grease… Bikes to finish, things to do, the Puerto Rico Bike weekend is next week and as always, I’m way behind. So I guess I’ll stop now and go back to work……
By the way, I was told that my stories here and in the magazines were weak, feel free to let me know what you think.
Later
Jose – NY, Miami, Caribbean Bikernet reporter
GAMBLING ON BIKERNET–Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractiveblonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars ($20,000.00) on asingle roll of the dice. She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel muchluckier when I’m completely nude.”
With that she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,”Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!”
As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed. “YES! YES!I WON, I WON!”
She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and herclothes and quickly departed.The dealers starred at each other dumfounded.
Finally, one of them asked, “What did she roll?”
The other answered, “I don’t know – I thought you were watching.”
MORAL: Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.
BUT I DIDN’T SEE THE MOTORCYCLE, OFFICER–These five little words are the summation that describes the most terrifying event most bikers will ever face. The specter of the car turning left in front of us as we travel at speed, with nowhere else to go but down. Sure there are all kinds of suggestions, you hear them in every biker bar in every city in the country; Crash jump! Turn the opposite way the car is turning! Lay the bike down! None, however, guarantees a safe escape from the uncaring, unaware, or preoccupied cage driver. Most of these terrifying meetings end with the biker stuck like a spear in the side of the cage, with the car driver uttering those five little words.
Check the homepage for info on perhaps the most life-saving legislation to come along. Mike Osborn has written the first report. Don’t miss it.
BIKERNET NORTH CAROLINA TECH EDITOR SWITCHES DEALERSHIPS– It’s Poncho (Pablo). Still alive and kickin in NC. Quit Charlotte H-D Oct 16th. Did Phoenix for a week. I “Rolled The Dice” and went to work for Blue Ridge H-D in Hickory, NC. Nuff said. So far so good.
They have the latest 250 “Pit” Dynojet Dyno. Brand new building 30,000 sq. ft. Service area is very high tech. Flow Bench is at the shop. Still lot’s of work to be done but tis the season to build again. Will continue tech’s
So your up to date on my ever changing “Journal”. Life without change is death!! Thing’s are kinda soft in AZ. now or I would be out there. My Compadre at BlackMagic MotorSports is staying above water.
Like you, the Southwest is my favorite place. Someday it will be where I make my final stand.
–Paul aka Poncho/Pablo
TODAY’S MUSTANGS– Here are some pics of the Mustang bike we discussed on the phone Wednesday. The premise behind the bike was, “If Mustang were still in business today, what would it look like?” This is what our vision was.
–Ike Shelton
949-492-1948
mailto:beccataz@cox.net
Old shot from Bob T.
BIKERNET HANGOVER STUDY–One Star Hangover (*)
No pain. No real feeling of illness. You’re able to function to relatively well. However, you are still parched. You can drink 5 sodas and still feel this way. For some reason, you are craving a steak &fries.
Two Star Hangover (**)
No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay, but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only increasing your rumbling gut, which is still tossing around the fruity pancake from the 3:00 AM Waffle House excursion. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.
Three Star Hangover (***)
Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive. Anytime a girl walks by you gag because her perfume reminds you of the flavored schnapps shots your alcoholic friends dared you to drink. Life would be better right now if you were home in your bed watching Lucy reruns. You’ve had 4 cups of coffee, a gallon of water, 3 iced teas and a diet coke — yet you haven’t peed once.
Four Star Hangover (****)
Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can’t speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can’t hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. (For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars.) Your eyes look like one big red vein, and even your hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.
Five Star Hangover, (*****)
You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva soyour tongue is suffocating you. You don’t have the foggiest idea who the hell the stranger was passed out in your bed this morning. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare ‘floater’ thrown in. The sole purpose of this ‘floater’ seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds prettygood about right now….
–from Rogue
SOUL ON BIKES– A slice of underground American and African-American history you’re not going to read in any history book.The East Bay Dragons Motorcycle Club have gunned their Harleys through the meanest streets of Oakland, California since the 1950’s. Before Rosa Parks took her historic bus ride, before Martin Luther King, Jr., Malcom X, and Huey P. Newton and the Black Panthers stood bravely for equal rights, the East Bay Dragons MC risked life and limb during days when a black man riding a Harley chopper was a revolutionary act.
Tobie Gene Levingston was born in Tallulah, Louisiana. He founded the East Bay Dragons car club in Oakland, Ca., which eventually became the East Bay Dragons MC, one of the nations leading all-black, Harley-only, motorcycle clubs. Tobie Gene has been the sole president of the East Bay Dragons MC since the club?s formation in 1959.
