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COAST TO COAST BIKER NEWS–Compiled and Edited by Bill Bish for the National Coalition of Motorcyclists. PENNSYLVANIA HELMET FREEDOM! CONGRATULATIONS to ABATE of Pennsylvania and Keystone State motorcyclists, who scored a monumental victory over the Independence Day Weekend when Governor Edward G. Rendell signed a helmet law repeal on July 6, 2003, making Pennsylvania the 31st state to allow adult freedom of choice.
We run two news segments a month from A.I.M. and the National Coalition of Motorcyclists, on motorcycling freedom and legislative efforts. For the full report go to our Bikers Rights Department.
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THE BIKERNET SOUTHERN CONNECTION–Imagine, if you will, three temperate southern (US) womenrocking away on a porch as the sultry summer’s day comes to aslow end. The horizon is awash with the sun’s setting hues. Afew pesky no-see-ums fly about.
The first lady speaks up in her slow, southern drawl and says:”Sisters, I’ve been thinking. Each of us has a husband whosename is LeRoy. It’s been mighty confusing lately. Sometimes whenI yell ‘LeRoy!!’ your husband comes and sometimes yours answersand once in a while mine comes. I think it’s time we rename ourhusbands to end the confusion.”
Quiet returns to the porch scene only to be interrupted by thecreaking of the old rocking chairs on the loose planks. Thefirst lady again speaks up and says, “I think I’ll name myhusband ‘Seven-UP'”.
“Why, sister, why are you going to name your husband’Seven-UP’?” queries one of the old gals.
“Why, he’s got seven inches and it’s always up!” replies thefirst lady.
The second lady then muses a bit and says, “I think I’m going toname my LeRoy ‘Mountain Dew’.”
“Why, sister, why are you going to name him ‘Mountain Dew’?”
“Well, cuz mountin’ is one thing he do real well,” the secondlady says.
Both then turn to the third woman as she rocks slowly in herchair and of her they ask, “And, what will you name yourhusband, sister?”
“I’ve been thinking that I just might name him ‘Jack Daniels’,”she said.
“Why, sister, Jack Daniels is a hard liquor!!”
“That’s my LeRoy!”, the third woman responds.
–from Rogue
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THE BIKERNET TAHITI REPORT–THE TAHITI RUN LIVES!–I got a call from Kiki in Papeete today. The club went up to the hospital tosee Jean-Noel last night and he’s doing much better (bike accident). Hopefully he’ll be outof the hospital next week.He’s doing so much better in fact that he asked Kiki to ask me how’s theNovember Tahiti Trip coming along.
I kinda put it on the back burner after Jean-Noel’s accident and now I haveto get it back on track.
The Horse has been keeping me fairly busy lately. They have me writing shopand bike features in addition to my usual stuff. I’m blowing off Milwaukeeand Stoogis this year. The Tahiti Run effort for the island kids will take full priority.
–TBear
BIKERNET EDUCATIONAL DEPARTMENT–Two bikers decided that they weren’t going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead. The first goes in to see the counselor, who tells him to take Math, History, and Logic.
“What’s Logic?” the first biker asks.
The professor answers by saying, “Let me give you an example. Do you own a Harley?”
“I sure do.”
“Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a garage,” replied the professor.
“That’s real good!” says the biker.
The professor continues, “Logic will also tell me that since you have a garage, you also own a house.”
Impressed, the biker says, “Amazin!”
“And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife.”
“That’s Betty Mae! This is incredible!”
The biker is obviously catching on.
“Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual,” said the professor.
“You’re absolutely right! Why that’s the most fascinatin’ thing I ever heard! I cain’t wait to take that logic class!!”
The biker, proud of the new world opening up to him, walks back into the hallway, where his friend is still waiting. “So what classes are ya takin’?” asks the friend.
“Math, History, and Logic!” replies the first biker.
“What in tarnation is logic???” asked his friend.
“Let me give you an example. Do ya own a Harley?” asked the first biker.
“No,” his friend replied.
“You’s QUEER, ain’t ya?”
–from Rogue
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Well guys, been back for a week or so from Hawaii and still getting flooded with e-mails and calls from there. I really don’t have the slightest idea of timeframe, all I know is that we ship everything today for Sturgis, and still going like a headless chickens trying to get all the stuff ready. I just took a slight break from the bobber we are building and has to be done before the morning!
Like I was saying about Hawaii, and I don’t want to sound like I’m beating on the same broken drum, we had the TV on while working on the bike and up comes the story of the Hawaiian cowboys, the Paniolos, day after, Boarding House, then Surf Chicks. I guess the gods keep slapping me with images of the good times, while I’m busting up to get shit done. Lucky I did not have a tool in hand or the TV would be history. Anyway, it’s been so much chaos since I got back that it seems like ages since we were there. I have explained in painful detail our shipping process to all these places that I’m going, to spare you and me of it. Just put it this way, I don’t mind being to Hell, been there before.
Our good friend Melanie has sent me some material (hot photos) to add to my site, and I’m still working on the rest of the shots we took there so it’s changing all the time. If you have a chance, visit www.exoticdancersofhawaii.com to see what I’m talking about.
The board we shaped (I say we since I made a lame ass attempt to carve some foam) is on the way. J Hodge called today so by the time I get back from the Black Hills, I might be able to use it. By the way, how interesting would be a story on a board shaper? What if that guy happens to shape boards for Billy, Jesse, others, and me? Plus build bikes in his spare time (if any). Let me know at Your Shot
I want to tell all the guys who have been missing my usual ornery self not to worry. I have been relaxing a bit before and in Hawaii, but since, things have been going the way they have, I will have some pretty “controversial” reports on the way. You know a place like Sturgis, with their very friendly cops, all the “bad ass ” bikers, and mayhem at every corner will feed the need to vent….. Keep an eye out for it.
Since this is the second year that Bandit will not attend the rally, I’m going to try to send reports from the field, I mean, from the war front. Let’s see if I have some time left (or desire) to write something up, maybe I will use Your Shot.
In the events department, I have received the flyers from the first Smut Run in Ohio. If you are from that area, give the organizers a call. It’s my kind of event, riding to all the Strip Joints in the area. Fuck, I might skip the last days of Sturgis just for that… wouldn’t you?
As you know, I hate bashing stuff. But after briefly skipping the last episode of that new “famous” Discovery show, I was amazed at how much it reminded me of the antics that the old defunct Titan company did. The limos, the helicopters, the hoopla…. I guess you know the way Titan went. Just an observation, a mere observation.
Hey! Finally saw my face in Easyriders, (no thanks to Bandit ! ). Although it was a small photo, or two, the shot of my bike with no rear wheel was pretty good. As always, bow to the master Michael Lichter. (Yeah Bandit, when are you going to hook me up with your old connections? Remember I might be quitting soon!!!!!)
Guys, I’m out of here. I got to go back to the dungeon of oil, bolts and parts. The fucking dreaded shipping deadline is here, do or die! Next week is my last report before heading to the Hills. Maybe it will be juicy….maybe I will be able to sleep….But if you are heading over to Sturgis and see choppers with Puerto Rico plates, make sure to say hi. If you really hate me, I will be the guy on the Twinkie with a black leather jacket and chaps. Hit me hard in the gut, it?s my weak point…
Back to hell, I’ll say hi to Satan for you….
Jose Bikernet Caribbean report…… (wanting to get the fuck back to Hawaii)
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