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HOW TO REPAIR PLASTIC BODYWORK–Unfortunately it’s a familiar story in our world — a simple accident in thedriveway results in a cracked bumper, taillight lens, or motorcycle fairing.With few repair shops interested in repairing plastic bodywork, replacing anexpensive part has often been the only option. Here’s a new book thatsolves this common dilemma with easy-to-follow instructions and clearillustrations that give Do-It-Yourselfers a way to make basic plasticrepairs on their own, easily and with great results. We know. We triedseveral plastic repair projects here at Whitehorse Press, using techniquesand materials described in this book, and the repaired parts look like new!
HOW TO REPAIR PLASTIC BODYWORK: Practical, Money-Saving Techniques for Cars,Motorcycles, Trucks, ATVs, and Snowmobiles, by Kurt Lammon, 144 pages, fullcolor photos throughout, item code W-PLAS, $19.95http://www.whitehorsepress.com/email.asp?cn=50245&en=en0304&id=plas
And, if you want to hear more about our own plastic repair experience, callJeff, our ace Customer Service Rep and all-around gearhead, at 800-531-1133,and he’ll be happy to bend your ear. He saved more than $600 on his firstrepair!
RIGID PHILOSOPHY–If I could, I’d enlist today and help my country track down thoseresponsiblefor killing thousands of innocent people in New York City andWashington,D.C. But, I’m over 50 now and the Armed Forces say I’m too old to enlist. You can’t be older than 35 and join the military.
They’ve got the whole thing backwards. Instead of sending 18-year-olds offto fight, they ought to take us old guys.You shouldn’t be able to join until you’re at least 35. For starters:Researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys onlythink about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.
Young guys haven’t lived long enough to be cranky, and a crankysoldier is a dangerous soldier. If we can’t kill the enemy we’llcomplain them intosubmission. “My back hurts! I’m hungry! Where’s the remote control?”
An 18-year-old hasn’t had a legal drink yet and you shouldn’t go to waruntil you’re at least old enough to legally drink. An average old guy, onthe other hand, has consumed 126,000 gallons of beer by the time he’s 35 anda jaunt through the desert heat with a backpack and M-60 would do wondersfor the old beer belly.An 18-year-old doesn’t like to get up before 10 a.m. Old guys get up early(to pee).If old guys are captured we couldn’t spill the beans because we’d probablyforget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be areal brainteaser.
Boot camp would actually be easier for old guys. We’re used to gettingscreamed and yelled at and we actually like soft food. We’ve also developeda deep appreciation for guns and rifles. We like them almost better thannaps.
An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He’s still learning toshave. To actually carry on a conversation. To wear pants without the top ofthe butt crack showing and the boxer shorts sticking out. To learn that apierced tongue catches food particles. And that a 200-watt speaker in theback seat of a Honda Accord can rupture an eardrum.
All great reasons tokeep our sons at home and to learn a little more about life before sendingthem off to a possible death.Let us old guys track down those dirty, rotten cowards who attacked ourhearts on September 11. The last thing the enemy would want to see right nowis a couple of million old farts with attitudes.
–RFR
NEW DRUGS FROM THE BIKERNET PHARMACY–F l i p i t o r, Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.
HOLDEN RAPHAEL DIED SUNDAY– April 6 at the age of 49 in a motorcycle accident. He is survived by his wife Bonnie, daughter Jackie and his mother and brother. He was known as a big man with a big heart. For eight years he’s been a up-standing member of the Uglies Motorcycle Club. For seven years he has been responsible for the entertainment at the Beach Ride, a charity event that benefits the Exceptional Childrens Foundation.
He promoted motorcycle and non-motorcycle music related events throughout Southern California, across the USA and in Europe. He was well known and respected in the motorcycle and rock and roll communities.
A memorial service will be held Friday, April 11 at noon, at Mount Sinai Memorial Park, 5950 Forest Lawn Drive, Los Angeles.
He will be sorely missed.
MICAH MCCLOSKEY’S CUSTOM MOTORCYCLES BECOMES HOME TO AMERICAN IRON HORSE IN LOS ANGELES–That’s right. If you live in Los Angeles you can now purchase American Iron Horse customs and Dallas Choppers through Micah’s shop. These wild customs come with a two-year warrenty. The shop is located in Canoga Park on Sherman Way. Call (818) 348-8967.
INTERESTING QUOTES ABOUT THE WAR– “It’s like a movie. I can’t believe what I’m seeing,” said Adel, a lawyer in Beirut. “Why didn’t he just give up to start with if this was all the resistance he could muster? Instead of wasting all those lives for nothing.”
“Saddam Hussein is proving for the thousandth time that he is stubborn, stupid, idiotic and a terrorist. He is more like the head of a gang and not the president of a respectable state like Iraq,” said Sultan Nasser, 49-year-old Saudi bank employee.
NEW BIKERNET CORRESPONDENT COVERS DONNIE SMITH SHOW–Check out the coverage of Donnie’s third annual American Thunder Show on the bikernet Home page. Troy is a new Bikernet correspondent, young and learning the ropes. His first lesson: Don’t drink two sixers and try to photograph anything. Enjoy.
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