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BIKERNET TESTIMONIAL–Here it is, a picture of my bike. Thanks again for all your help. Never could have done it without you.
–ShovelFXWG82
BIKERNET NURSING HOME NEWS– I passed by the nursing home & there were six old ladies lying naked on the front grass. I thought this was a little peculiar, but continued on my way because it’s a long walk & I wanted to get it over with before it got truly hot again today.
On my way back, the ladies were still lying in the yard & to quench my curiosity, I went inside & asked to speak to the director of the facility.
When I asked him if he knew there were six naked old ladies lying on his front lawn, he replied, “Yes, I know. They’re retired prostitutes & they’re having a yard sale
–from Carlr
TOURING CHOPPER REACHES NEW HOME–My brother and I were there when the Goldrush truck arrived at PropaintBaltimore. Larry has not put in the new solid lifters yet. Therewas an annual open house the next day at the York, PA, Harley Factory andI wanted to ride up. We decided to ride it and look for any thing thanneed to be addressed. He checked the bike over and gave us a thumbs up.My brother rode it home from Baltimore. I wanted to look at it and takepictures more than ride. The bike is beautiful. The lines and stance aregreat.
–Garth
BIKERNET DEER REPORT–Since I smacked a deer in Wyoming, I’ve found out that deer are the most dangerous animals to the human race in the US. Beware. Guys who make pickup truck hauls on rural highways run cattle catchers on a regular basis. Deer whistles are no joke. Don’t ride at night on dark highways. Here’s another example:
“The story, as I understand it, was that the deer jumped off theHwy 101 bridge over 394 in Wayzata (it was apparently scared by a car that drove by as it was walking over the bridge). The Durango was drivingunder the bridge when it was hit by the falling deer.
–from Chris T.
JON JUNIMAN REPORT–In light of your comments in the Sunday post, I have decided to revisethat paragraph of the Blue Ridge story. How’s this:
“A bee hovers in front of me, smelling my leather jacket. I draw myRuger .44 Magnum and gun down four innocent bystanders for noreason at all. That Bee pissed me off.
“Bone splinters mixed with little gobs of meat are drippingdown car windshields and storefront windows to form sticky red pools in thegutter. The little fucker takes the hint and flies away to go smellsomebody else.”
Better?
–Rev. J.
SANDBLASTING REPORT IN CANTINA–We have an antique section in Bandit’s Cantina and now there’s a new tech on Sandblasting and Chemical stripping.
BANDIT’S SIFU REPORT–Dick Bondano the master of the IMB Academy is Bandit’s trainer. He was recently inducted into the Martial Arts Hall Of Fame and here’s his latest recognition:Martialinfo.com is proud to announce that the IMB Academy has been selectedas School of the Month and is currently featured in the October edition ofMartial Arts On Line Magazine.
Congratulations on this honor. You can find the link provided here:http://www.martialinfo.com/OnlineMag/asp/view.asp?issue=42
–Michael Matsuda
Martialinfo.com
Can you figure out where the hell this event is?
HIS PRISON SENTENCE– A woman awakes during the night, and discovers her husband isn’t in bed with her. She goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting atthe kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be indeep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.
What’s the matter, dear?” she asks. “Why are you down here at this timeof night?”
The husband looks up from his coffee, “Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating, andyou were only 16?” he asks solemnly.
“Yes, I do,” she replies. “Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of car making love?”
“Yes, I remember,” says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.
The husband continues, “Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, ‘Either you marry my daughter, or I’ll send you to jail for 20 years?”
” I remember that, too, ” she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, “I would have gotten out today.”
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–Ok, seems like we all have been glued to our TV sets this weekend. We had a marathon of Discovery Channel of bike shows, from good to bad, to worst. And of course and as expected I will give my opinion of all of them. No bashing intended, just my sincere opinion. Let’s put it this way, every show had some positive things and some negative, like always we all end up winners since the mere mortals can experience more and more the motorcycle lifestyle and what it takes to actually put one of those cool bikes together. Here we go…
Biker Build off, very cool show, the best of them, not because we were there (me and friends) but it had a little of everything, bike building, riding, fun, brotherhood, and having a good time at an event.
Since I was there and know what went on I would have trashed the Monster Garage ads and the dude on the bike/ airplane, I would have also shortened the building parts and expanded the riding and mayhem, and The Horse Smoke Out event. The way I saw the show it was a contest between a mega builder with lots of moola and a guy with limited resources but heavy on the inventive side. It all ended up with these two individuals becoming good friends and enjoying the ride until the end. Billy won, but I would have called it a tie. It takes the same effort and creative ability to build both of those bikes, and they both followed their own styles… How boring it would be if we all did the same shit, over and over. Roger said it all when he told Billy, ” You are always welcome in my town.” Seems like I’ve known this guy for 20 years. But we all won, since we had such a blast……and found true brotherhood.
Bandit gives it a thumbs up. Digital gives it a thumbs up. Two thumbs up ! And who really wins?Me, since I’m an exclusive distributor for both companies in the Caribbean…Thanks guys….
American Chopper, let’s say that Paul Jr. is my friend, so don’t get pissed at me. He has a lot of fabricating talent and cool ideas, but all the fighting and bickering during the show was a bit too much, and ended up looking…well..not too good.. Let’s say how much I love the magic of television, and I mean magic. Tanks being made that look really familiar, Paul Sr shouting it out with the paint guy and the paint guy actually showing up. The mechanic bitching at the owners son, you know stuff like that. I loved the part when he said ” Take some geritol pops” je,je,je….. I think the show was ok since it gave us exposure to stuff that actually happens in shops, more so when the pressure is on, but I think it ended up looking bad for the guys at OCC. We know all that shit happens, but in front of the world ? Maybe not. I’m not crazy about theme bikes, or overdone choppers (putting it mildly), but they achieved their goal, whatever it was, and too bad it was raining. That bike would have won in any of the Florida shows…where they love flashy stuff. Anyway, if it was me and the mechanic is my friend and throws a tantrum, he’ll be on the unemployment line right now. Bandit thumbs up, Digital thumbs down. And gentlemen am I behaving tonight….!!!!! yessir….
Motorcycle Women….Oh boy what can I say, I’m totally fringed out….I saw more bandannas than on a Howdy Doody convention, and aquamarine galore…. The purpose of the show was cool, again people, in this case females, of all walks of life, riding thru an amazing route on the way to Frisco. Plot was ok, I guess if you are into girly mayhem, that does not include Jerry Springer behavior. The cleanest bikes I’ve ever seen on a 1500 mile run (yep, they are girls !). I also Imagine that they took so long since they stopped at every shop and trinket vendor on the way, and we know the trailer was just for their clothing and accessories….What’s really cool about it is that they were typical girls, you know, accessorizing, trying to look good and doing what they do, but in this case they were riding Harleys…and a Vulcan….One of them?was wearing more?stuff than the whole 25 of us packed?on the Builder ride!!!! I know that show did not go too well with the actual riding ladies who work on their bikes and don’t need to be fringed out in tiny tops, or even worry of looking good…
By the way, the oriental girl on the tiny tops rocked ! And you know that women are brutal critics. But you got to take it for what it is, a trip for girl power. I loved the part when the two ladies said they’ve been riding dykes for 30 years, oopss, mean bikes…You know English is not my first language sorry. Another gripe: We’d rather see the panties “on” than in the laundry, but, what you gonna do? All in all it was another story of brotherhood, here I go again..Sistership, and the relations between bikers and a real life. Bandit thumbs down (unless they all show up at San Pedro begging for his closed door parties). Digital thumbs up, (he would give a thumbs up too a walking stick with tits).
Man, I was so into the Bandit and Siskel thing that I forgot about the news. I guess we will always have next week to do, but before I head back to my padded cell…..News from Bikernet Enquirer….. Someone has found the long lost son of a famous biker magazine and web entrepreneur Bandit. This rare event took place when one of the readers noticed that Jose’s editorials reminded him of a younger Bandit. That prompted both parties to attend a taping of the Jenny Jones, Jerry Springer and falling asleep on Maury Povich to do some paternity tests and clear the doubt, Sin and Layla promptly denied being Jose’s mother (not what you said in Puerto Rico, remember come to mama….??) on the fragile rebuttal of just being younger than him.
Mr Bandit is being charged for a backlog of pallimony to the amount of 2.5 million. Even though the paternity tests proved semi positive and the lie detector pulverized the needle, Bandit still claims he is innocent of all charges. We talked to Jose who is still in limbo….
“Imagine all the bikes that I could have featured in Easy Riders…. and I paid those damn 6 bucks for so many years. Man to think that, it makes me angry….Yep six bucks for those mags…man.”
We will expand the story on following weeks, with the new hot story, Geno and Chris Maida were separated at birth !!!!Inquiring minds wanna know…….
–Later,Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Report (and behaving…)
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