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THE QUARTER–A dad walks into a market with his young son. The boy is holding aquarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face.The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking,and shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue businesssuit is sitting at a coffee bar inthe market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At thesound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on thesaucer,neatly folds her newspaper and places it on the counter. Then she getsup from her seat and makes her way, unhurriedly, across the market.Reaching the boy, the woman pulls the boy’s pants down, carefully takes holdofhis testicles, and starts to squeeze, gently at first and then ever morefirmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up thequarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand. Releasing theboy, thewoman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in thecoffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects,the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her profusely,saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before. It wasfantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” she says, “Divorce attorney.”
45 RAFFLE–Below is the info on the raffle involving this scoot. It doesn’t appear to be a upstanding deal, though. They will only take 5000 entries at $20 a shot which equals $100,000 grand, then donate only 10 grand to a charity. The bike can’t be worth over $20,000, that leaves someone with $70,000 profit. I’ll let you be the judge:
That’s right, you could win a 1942 Harley Davidson for $20.00.Just go to this link:http://www.rent-a-hubby-usa.com/page385940.htmCheck out the details and enter as many times as you like.Send $20.00 for each entry to RDG,ltd., PO Box 153308, Irving, Texas 75015Only the first 5000 entries will be accepted.10% of the profits will be donated to the local humane society.Enter as many times as you like and watch WALNEKS Cycle Magazine for the winners photo.
THE BIKE
A 1942 WLA Harley Davidson. 1st place winner, Roar at the Shore, Padre Island, Texas, in 2000.Fresh re-build on motor.Regularly serviced, runs great. Own a piece of history for $20.00. Remember only 5000 tickets will be accepted.
Good Luck,
Stephen
stephen.haley@attbi.com?
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THE OZARK ED REPORT–Damnit, you knew it was going to happen. Titty bar Mike and Miss kitty brought my girl home Thursday night and she saw juvee girl’s car in my driveway. When I went on the titty bar tour Friday, EVERYBODY knew about me and her out together. Phillip was asking if I got it. Titty bar Mike was saying “she’s no good, don’t do it.” Skitzo Eric kept saying “you can tell me, man.” Only phillips girl defended me, which is strange because when me and juvee girl have talked about what people would think, we thought she would freak. Of course, no one really knows the whole deal. They think this was a freak chance opportunity that we took advantage of. They have no clue that this was a carefully planned thing that was only fucked up by the girls’ coming home early. Anyway, it’ll blow over. I just can’t have any more incidents AT ALL for a while, but for sure, if I get caught with juvee girl again I’m screwed.
I was on my best behavior this weekend, except for this cute little military girl who was in town for the weekend on national guard duty. She and some of her buddies came out to the club and she got herself really drunk. She was breaking some rules and I told her real nicely what she couldn’t do. Later she came in to the pool room and threw herself on me and was grinding her snatch into my business while saying she was so sorry for causing trouble. I looked over to the bar and there was my girl just fucking glaring at me. I raised both of my hands so she would know “it ain’t me”. But that started the whole “Seven days without a violation” over again.
She made some nasty comments about why can’t I just act right. anyway? Me and Titty bar Mike rode to hot springs for the HOG rally Saturday. What an old man dresserfest that was. No customs, no girls, no beer, just a bunch of guys standing around. We went to the titty bar, but it sucked. We went to little Bill’s shop, no one there. I bought me a 40 ounce Bud and slammed it, then rode the back way mountain road home. Man those curves are bad ass. Nothing like getting high and hammering some curves. Nothing exciting yesterday. Me and my girl took my little boat out on the river for a while and got rained on. It was fun but I could have done without the rain. gotta go. It’s Monday and I have plans.
–Ozark Ed
FROM THE BIKERNET ARCHIVES–The front and the back of the Enthusiast from June 1945 War years.
BIKERNET DARWIN AWARDS– Based on a bet by the other members of his threesome, Everitt Sancheztried to wash his own “balls” in a ball washer at the local golf course.Proving once again that beer and testosterone are a bad mix.
Sanchez managedto straddle the ball washer and dangle his scrotum in the machine. Much tohis dismay, one of his buddies upped the ante by spinning the crank on themachine with Sanchez’s scrotum in place, thus wedging them solidly in themechanism. Sanchez, who immediately passed his threshold of pain, collapsedand tumbled from his perch. Unfortunately for Sanchez, the height of theball washer was more than a foot higher off the ground than his testiclesare in a normal stance, and the scrotum was the weakest link.
Sanchez’sscrotum was ripped open during the fall, and one testicle was plucked fromhim forever and remained in the ball washer, while the other testicle wascompressed and flattened as it was pulled between the housing of the washer,and the rotating machinery inside. To add insult to injury, Sanchez brokea new $300.00 driver that he had just purchased from the pro shop, and wasusing to balance himself. Sanchez was rushed to the hospital for surgery,and the remaining threesome was asked to leave the course.
–from Rogue
WORLD RENOWNED HARLEY-DAVIDSON ARTIST, SCOTT JACOBS GATHERING–With the assistance of Chris Carr, Scott Parker and Jay Spingsteen, three of the most famous motorcycle racers in the world, Scott will unveil his painting depicting their crossing the line in a “photo finish” race at The Springfield Mile.
The opportunity of the Del Mar Races lends itself to this rare gathering.Along with these world famous racers, many other notable racers will be present. To name a few; Terry G. Poovey, Johnny A. Murphree, Joe J. Kopp, Kevin Atherton, Shaun Russell, and Rich King.Also attending are some of the biggest names in the motorcycle industry.
We’ll let you know when we find out more and can get a shot of his latest creation.
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