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NEWSFLASH!!!!! FROM CRAZYHORSE — Late summer is slow cos guys are riding, drinking, and recovering, notsitting in front of the puter hiding from the cold. I currently have a nastyhead cold, so no one’s is kissing me.Here’s my contribution to the News:
FLASH! Custom Painter finishes all paint jobs on time for a change.That’s right folks, I’m all caught up, got my two Sturgis bikes done in time.I have no backlog whatsoever. No, lightning will not strike me. Spent Augustshoveling out the house and the floor is actually visible. My bike is evenclean, see above picture. Jose was so shocked, he almost didn’t recognizeit. Hell, I may even update my webpage. Go to www.crazyhorsepainting.com tosee some examples of my hard labor.
I’ll be posting updates over the nextfew months. Speaking of updates, I’ll be sending in an update on Angie, theblonde everyone loves to hate and a story on The Horse magazine’s SmokeOutevent, further evidence of the latest conspiracy.
READER’S SHOWCASE–We currently have a few killer chops in Reader’s Showcase. Enter your bike, it’s absolutely free. One bike in particularpictured above, should put to rest two age old myths which state that oldengines are unreliable and that severely raked out bikes are unrideable.
Eric Althen of Colorado built this bike in his lean-to garage using only afork, hacksaw, and eggbeater, while snowed in during a Rocky Mt blizzard. Hegot bored after the power went out and needed to keep busy. Eric only hadcanned baked beans to live on and is currently working on a methane poweredgenerator in preparation for the next black out. Only kidding, seriously Ihad a hard time deciding which bike to use in this promo as there are anumber of unique bikes to choose from.
Got a wicked bike or a wicked storybehind it? Send it in. Don’t worry about typing it right or correct grammar.That’s my job, to fix all the literary screwups. Only thing is, whose gonnafix mine?
————Crazy Horse
BIG ISLAND EVENT–Here’s some picture’s of the trip we took over to the big island of Hawaii on Labor Day. Wish I took more, but we were all over the place.
Picked up our bike’s in Hilo at the docks on Friday morning. It was poring rain. Had to don the rain gear and ride. Hilo rains a lot. Stayed the nite in Hilo at the Hilo Hawaiian Hotel. Nice place on the water. One of the shots is looking out on the porch.
Got up the next day and it was sunny. We rode to Kona. It took us about three hour’s, made a few stop’s along the way, being we were at the bar for many hour’s the nite before and some couldn’t handle their booze. We made it into Kona and checked into a condo on the water. It was great, three bedroom’s, big kitchen and a bar on the deck. W dropped off our stuff, got back on the bike’s and headed for the airport to pick up the women. They were there waiting with way to much luggage.
I don’t know how but we got all the luggage on the bike’s and headed back to the condo for some R and R. The weather was great most of the trip, got in a lot of riding with a bunch of other people. Went to the motorcycle rodeo to check it out. My pal paid for some ticket’s for the motorcycle give-away and gave one to each of us. There were six of us. Did’nt think much of it, I don’t win thing’s like that much or ever. It was a 2003 Sportster from Kona Harley. The chow was great, and they had all the regular games, but when it came time for them to draw the name everyone was into it, so they picked a little girl out of the crowd and had her pick the name.
The name they picked was Joerline Tronolone my wife. I almost fell out of my chair. It was cool. Everyone came up and gave her a hug, saying she had good luck. She get’s it in a couple of week’s, so now she signed up to take the motorcycle class. Man, what did I get myself into. I’ll just have to wait and see if she can handle it. Well it was a fun trip.
–Chris Tronolone
BIKERNET RELATIONSHIP ADVICE–This guy and his girlfriend were going at it hot and heavy in the backseatof his car. A knock was heard on the window and there stood a cop. The guygot out, shaking like a leaf. The cop said that he wouldn’t run him in if hecould be next.
The guy got back in and finished with his girlfriend. When hegot out again, He was still shaking like leaf. The cop said there was noreason to be scared because he wouldn’t arrest him if he could be next.
Theguy said, “I’m not afraid that you’ll have to arrest me… because I?ve neverbeen with a cop before.”
–Rogue
OZARK ED RETURNS WITH THE OZARK BLUES–It’s a fucked up world. Bad shit has been happening to me right and left, for instance: I’m out working last week, on the interstate in my car. there is a lot of road construction in the area and the Man has been really cracking the power trip in the work zones. I was going the speed limit in the middle of a bunch of traffic and a trooper picked me out and stopped me because my windshield has a crack. Shit, come on, not speeding or doing anything wrong. I gotta ticket for my windshield. How do they pick me out?
Titty bar mike went to court to get his dope record expunged and they found some shit in Florida from his teenage years. Now he might have to go there for a three year vacation. He’s debating on going somewhere else instead, but I can’t see that happening. He has gathered up too much stuff to walk away from, plus miss Kitty doesn’t want to go. She’s a stripper who’s close to 40 and she sees the club as her way out of dancing. If they leave, who knows what there is for her. How stupid was it for him to go try to get his record expunged, knowing that he had shit. That ones on him.
I’m starting to believe that damn juvee girl is bad luck. Every time I see her something fucked up happens. Idon’t call her for a while and shit gets better, then she’ll call and we’ll do something together. Bam, fucked up shit. I’ve noticed that at least twice I didn’t see her for about ten days and everything started going my way again. When she calls me I can’t resist. She’s just so fucking pretty, flawless.
Skitzo Eric and me are now racing to get our Shovelheads done. I have a big head start, but he has all the tools at Rodneys shop at his disposal. I can use them but only on Sunday when the shop is closed. Rodney’s kinda fucked up that way but it’s his shit. I’m lucky to get to use ’em at all. Plus, Eric is not fabricating anything. He’s buying and altering. I’m making shit from sheet metal I’ve scored from behind the body shop and that takes a lot more time.
We went riding yesterday for about a hundred miles. He borrowed Rodney’s girlfriend’s big old bagger and we lapped lake Maumelle. It was great. Cool smells like rain weather, but not a drop. The first 40 miles is on a country road, then we hit highway 10. There is a little park on top of a hill that looks out over the lake. We stopped for a burn party, then got on a nice, curvy, mountain road with big old paved shoulders and lake views on top of the hills. You can do 70 or 80, if the traffic is not bad. It’s fantastic, nice easy riding for a little while, then hammer on the big sweeping curves.
I’m trying to concentrate on shit like that and not the bad shit in my life. Bad luck is just good luck in disguise. I’m waiting for the payoff.
–Ed
BLACK BOXES IN 4BY4S– The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had covertly funded a project with the US auto makers for the past five years, whereby the auto makers were installing black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 44 of the 50 states that the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, “Oh, Shit!” Only the states of Oklahoma, South Carolina, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama and Texas were different, where over 89.3 percent of the final words were: “Hold my beer and watch this.”
–from the Princess
DIRECT FROM PUERTO RICO, THE ACCLAIMED CARIBBEAN REPORT FROM JOSE–” The highway ‘s jammed with broken heroes, on a last chance power drive.Everybody’s out on the run tonight, But there’s no place left to hide.Together Wendy we can live with the sadness, I’ll love you with all themadness in my soul. Someday girl I don’t know when, We’re gonna get to thatplace, where we really want to go, and we’ll walk in the sun. But tilthen tramps like usBaby we were born to run…..”
I thought I would start this week’s news with a bit from the Boss. Why? Because it reminds me of the time I lived in New York. Reminds me of the2,801 people who lost their lives one year ago, and reminds me of thepeople that helped and became heroes.
It really does not matter were you are from, if you are human, you feelthe senseless loss of life that happened exactly one year ago, the dispairof families hoping, of the whole world in front of a TV set praying forthe rescue teams to find a survivor, just one more.
I lived in that amazingcity. I knew people who went down with the crumbles of twisted metal,cement and dust. I’m sure, I’ve just not had any news of whom they where. I’m thankful for being able to see another day, to ride our choppers oncemore, to be able to write about what I see and feel. I haven’t been back there, but I know it will be a funnyfeeling, walking down the streets, while looking to the sky not beingable to see those two towers or sense the people who were there and had no place to run…the young , old,american, latino, asian, european, arabic. God did not spare anyone, anddid not separate, all were equal in death’s eyes.
It still amazes me, the beauty of New York, the big apple, the place whereif you don’t know people, you can rot in a corner while life runs by you.A place where, if you know people, you can be king, “if you make it thereyou can make it anywhere” or so it goes.The people that are cold by nature giving a helping hand, leaving theireveryday busy lives to share, to help and to provide a shoulder so otherscould cry. People forgetting about the millions that could be made today,the movies, the concerts, the shopping, the night life…….. All in allmy sorrow goes to those who lost their lives and the families who lostloved ones. My outmost admiration goes to those who survived, and lived tosee another day, another night…..The sun and the stars….
I guess this is the only tribute I can give…..but it will never beenough. We can only thank God that we are able to ride that chopper, spendtime with those we love, walk down the street, and kick that warm sand,just one more time.
For now, to all of you who read this…..’ Cause tramps like us, baby wewere born to run….and that’s it. ‘Till next week.
–Jose….Caribbean Bikernet report.
NEW CALENDAR ON THE WAY– The renown Iron & Lace Calendar sponsored by Mikuni Carburetors and Performance Machine returns again for 2003 with 16 full color pages of the finest custom Harley-Davidsons together with beautiful centerfold models. It’s a revealing look at some of the finest customized, high performance and fully race modified Harleys from America’s top builders, photographed by photographer Jim Gianatsis.
Included are the latest custom bikes from Americas top builders including Paul Yaffe, Jesse James, Jim Nasi, Ron Simms, Russell Mitchell, and LA Calendar Motorcycle Show winner Harold Pontarelli. The beautiful models this year include Playboy cover model Amanda Bentley, Penthouse Pet of the Year Zdenka, Perfect 10’s Taylor McKegney, and Hawaiian Tropic pageant winner Bonnie Jill Laflin, all in sexy lingerie. American made Iron just naturally goes together with lingerie and lace!
Each Iron & Lace and Garage Girls Calendar is a large format 15×15 inch spiral bound size, with high quality reproduction in full color on quality card stock, uncovering a full 16 months beginning with September 2002. Calendars are available from your local motorcycle dealer or mail order direct from White Brothers for $15.95 each, plus $5 S/H per order. Include calendar name, payment in check, money order, or VISA /MC information and mail your order direct to: FastDates.com Calendars, White Brothers, 24845 Corbit Place, Yorba Linda, CA 92887. Phone weekdays 714-692-3404. And for additional for news and photo features on the bikes, calendars and models visit the FastDates.com Calendar website at www.FastDates.com
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