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DAVIE ALLAN ROCKS–Hot announcementabout our May 24th show with The Seeds. Because of analtercation at Mr. T?s, the show has been cancelled. Youcan still see The Seeds, they’ve been added to the bill atSpaceland. A rescheduled Arrows and Seeds show looksGood for July 14th at The Knitting Factory.Stay tuned.
–Davie, BIKERNET INSIDE SCOOP– Bike builder Brian at PaulYaffe Originals will have his personal chopper gracing the cover of thenew Mikuni & Performance Machine sponsored 2003 Iron & Lace Calendarphotographed by Jim Gianatsis. Pictured with this awesome Yaffe bike isbeautiful Playboy cover model Amanda Bentley of the famed Bentley Twinswho is featured with sister Sandy in all of the 2003 FastDates.compublished motorcycle pinup calendars. The 2003 Iron & Lace calendar will premier at the Hot Bike presents the2003 White Brothers LA Calendar Motorcycle Show sponsored byBikernet.com in Long Beach on July 20 & 21st. The Show will feature allthe top name builders on the West Coast including Paul Yaffe. Forcomplete details go to http://www.FastDates.com/BIKESHOW.HTM BIKERNET DISCOVERS THAT LOUIE CAN’T HANDLE THE RAIN–The Skies opened up and rescheduled the Choppers Forever Bike Showat C&L Hog Shop until June 2nd. Hopefully we can give away the trophies then!Starts at noon on the 2nd of June, with folks planning on coming from Daytona, Orlando, Naples,Ohio, Texas, LA. Grampa Louie knows alot of people. We needed the rains.Watch those other flames, tossed cigarette butts, etc.We are still in drought conditions down here so rain is good.I guess…..sigh… –Mandu SAFETY STUDY FROM BIKERNET– BIKERNET PRESCHOOL TUTORING–The day care teacher holds up a picture and asks,”What’s this?” “A horsy,” one child answers. “And this?” the teacher asks. “A piggy,” replies another youngster. “And now this one?” asks the teacher, holding up a picture of a maledeer with a beautiful rack of antlers. There was no answer, only totalsilence. “Come now, children,” she coaxes, “I’ll give you a little hint. What does your Mommy call your Daddy when he hugs & kisses her a lot?” “I know! I know!!” exclaims one little girl. “It’s a horny bastard!” –from Bob T. WHERE’S RAWLINGS?–Years ago, I used to stop by their shop when I made the trip to Calif. from my home in Jersey. Keith Ruxton and Clyde Rawlings were one of the first to run in the 7’s with their ultra sano top fuel digger. They turned out some of the nicest custom scoots to hit the streets. Thru the years I kept in touch with Clyde (he helped me troubleshoot). I lost the shop’s phone#…information has no listing. Did the shop close or did they move (do you have their #)? Last I spoke with Clyde the shop was slow. …I’m just rolling the dice. I still have a Sportster tank (mural hand painted by Audrey Rawlings) hanging on my garage wall. Thanks, Brian BIKERNET PET RELATIONS– A man goes into a bar with an ostrich and a cat. The bar tender says “What would you like Sir?” The Man Says “I’ll have a pint of beer” He looks at the ostrich and says “What will you have?” “I’ll have a pint of beer” says the ostrich. He looks at the cat “What will you have?” “Half a pint of beer – but I’m not paying!” . “That will be $12.65” says the bartender. So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly $12.65. The next day after work the man goes into the same bar. “What’ll it be today” says the bartender “Double whisky on the rocks” says the man He looks at the ostrich and says “What will you have?” “I’ll join you in a double whisky” says the ostrich He looks at the cat “What will you have?” “Half a pint of beer – but I’m not paying!”, says the cat. “That will be $21.95” says the bartender So the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out exactly $21.95. The next day after work the man goes into the same bar. “Excuse me” the bartender says “I was just wondering why, no matter what the price, you always have the exact change in your pocket?” “Well” says the man “When my grandmother died she left me everything in her house and inside there was a lamp so I rubbed it and out popped a genie. It granted me three wishes so I asked that every time I wanted to buy something I would have the exact change in my pocket” “That’s brilliant” says the bartender “You’ll never ever run out of money. What else did you ask for?” “A bird with long legs and a tight pussy” Biker Rights–Read about legislation facing bikers in the future in the Bikers’ Rights area of Bikernet on the NCOM New Orleans gathering. This conference is annually devoted to the bikers across the country who fight daily for our lifestyle. If you are not a member of a Bikers’ Rights organization in your state join one, goddamnit. It supports their efforts to keep us free–Bandit. BIKERNET MARRIAGE COUNSELING–A woman recently lost her husband.Their marriage had been a very lousyone, and she was relieved that hewas finally gone. She had him crematedand brought his ashes home.Picking up the urn that he was in,she poured him out on the counter.Then she started talking to him,and tracing her fingers in the ashes,she said, “You know that fur coatyou promised me?” She answered by saying, “I boughtit with the insurance money!” She then said, “Remember thatnew car you promised me?” She answered again saying, “Well,I bought it with the insurance money!” Still tracing her finger in theashes, she said, “Remember thatblow job I promised you? Well ……here it comes…” –from Rogue BIKERNET LACONIA UPDATE–By JOHN KOZIOL,Staff Writer. In the wake of deadly violence around the nation this yearinvolving motorcycle gangs, city officials are looking at ways to make BikeWeek 2002 as safe as possible. Bike Week takes place from June 8-16 and Laconia Police Chief William Bakeris sounding a cautious note that Laconia has to be prepared for thepossibility that the violence that has marred several biker-related eventsin other states, could also happen here. “The point I’ve tried to make is we cannot guarantee the safety ofindividuals attending this event, just that we can use all reasonable lawenforcement efforts to minimize the risk,” Baker said on Wednesday. The City Council has already met once this year with Baker to discuss BikeWeek-related matters although Mayor Mark Fraser declined to say Wednesdaywhat they were because they were discussed in non-public session. Thecouncil and the chief are expected to meet again at which time Baker willpresent a report “about state police protection and what kind of back-up wemight have if something did occur,” Fraser said. An option that the city probably will not explore is canceling Bike Week,said Fraser, even though Baker pointed out that a motorcycle event in NewJersey has been postponed for at least a year due to the violence amongbiker gangs. “A lot of people have invested a lot of time and planning so to now back offbecause of the possible threat of something, I don’t think that’s the routewe’re going to go, but we will be ready to respond if something does occur,”Fraser said. Charlie St. Clair, executive director of the Laconia Motorcycle Rally andRace Week Association, said he has full confidence in law enforcementagencies being able to keep Bike Week 2002 attendees in line and safe. –from Rogue CRAZY HORSE ON MYRTLE BEACH–I’m back from the hard road. My left hand hurts like a muther. Might have something to do with the 40 mile traffic jam I sat in on the way home from Myrtle Beach. Hey, I wasn’t road captain. Spent most of the day in bed with a heating pad on my hand ( yes, it was that bad,) We are getting tons of killer entries for the Bikernet Bike Show this month. I entered a few last night, doing the rest this morning. Hey, you got the wedding story you wanted. Photoed a wedding in Myrtle. It happened to be my best friend here in Charlotte’s wedding. Beautiful wedding on the beach, wedding party rode off in the sunshine wearing tank tops and jeans to the reception 30 miles north of their hotel. They wore plastic garbage bags on ride back in the cold pouring rain a few hours later. I got pics of that too. This Bikernet staff member had her full leathers packed on the bike and was wet but drier and warmer than them. I spent some time with Jose and his bunch in Myrtle. It was most fun I had in a 4 wheeled vehicle in a long time. Hammer, Geno and Billy L from HORSE are in South Fla staying with the Hustler folks. Some guys got it rough. –JoAnn THE TAXI DRIVER–One dismal rainy night, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadowsof an alley halfway down the block.Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the caband slammed the door.Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see adripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat. “Where to?” hestammered. “Union Station,” answered the woman. “You got it,” he said, taking another long glance in the mirror. The womancaught him staring at her and asked,”Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?” “Well ma’am, I noticed that you’re completely naked, and I was justwondering how you’ll pay your fare.” The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at thedriver and said,”Does *THIS* answer your question?” Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked,”Got anything smaller?” –from Rogue BIKERNET MAGAZINE SURVEY–In a curious attempt at checking on the success or drawbacks of bike magazine publishing we ran a small report last week on HORSE, Hot Rod Bikes and Hot bike. The information we received was from a printed Audited report, although not the most recent. We received the following from Dave Withrow the publisher of Hot Bike. “This was sent to me. It is my understanding that Geno is a member of the Horse magazine staff. If he also is a member of your staff then we have a problem. The headline reads “Bikernet Investigates Bike Magazines”, this implies that actual research was done. If in fact research was done the story would mention the fact that Hot Bike has ABC audited circulation of 97,049. This is an audited increase of 160% over the last six years. This puts Hot Bike ahead of all audited Harley related performance titles, and second in the Harley magazine category to only Easyrider’s. The story implies that Hot Bike’s circulation has been flat for the last decade. The story also implies that the Horse is ABC audited, to my knowledge the Horse is not audited. Since I was in attendance in every planning meeting for the EMAP purchase, I can guarantee you that killing Hot Rod Bikes was never an option. I can place and educated guess as to what Geno’s motivation is, but what is your motivation. I am forwarding this to our legal department in New York. A wise man once told me ” Never cut a man’s head off to make yourself appear taller” We will continue to review the progress of these magazines and seek documentation, even though we were threatened with legal action. Actually the audited circulation reports on Hot Bike over the last three years have been somewhat flat and Easyriders circulation is over 200% ahead of Hot Bike. We also found out that Hot Rod Bikes (circulation 94,000) is being cut to 8-times a year (according to a HRB subscription offer) and that advertising dropped substantially in the issue going to press. We started this investigation to review the progress of HORSE in comparison to major titles. Dave is correct that HORSE is not audited. However, it’s interesting to examine the progress of a small group of riders against the mix of corporate giants. We’ll see what turns up next. Continued On Page 4
