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WANNA MAKE A BET ???–A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada oneday, carrying a bag of money. She insisted that shemust speak with the president of the bank to opena savings account because, “It’s a lot of money!”After much hemming and hawing, the bank stafffinally ushered her into he president’s office (thecustomer is always right!) The bank president thenasked her how much she would like to deposit.
She replied, “$165,000!” and dumped the cash outof her bag onto his desk. The president was of coursecurious as to how she came to get this money, he askedhow did you get this money?”
The old lady replied, “I make bets.” The president thenasked, “Bets? What kind of bets?”
The old woman said,”Well, for example, I’ll bet you $25,000 that your ballsare square.”
“Ha!” laughed the president, “That’s a stupid bet. Youcan never win that kind of bet!” The old lady challenged,
“So, would you like to take my bet?”
“Sure,” said thepresident, “I’ll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!”
The little old lady then said, “Okay, but since there is alot of money involved, may I bring my lawyer with metomorrow at 10:00 AM as a witness?”
“Sure!” repliedthe confident president.
That night, the president got very nervous about the betand spent a long time in front of a mirror checking hisballs, turning from side to side, again and again. Hethoroughly checked them out until he was sure that therewas absolutely no way his balls were square and that hewould win the bet.
The next morning, at precisely 10:00 am, the old ladyappeared with her lawyer at the president’s office. Sheintroduced the lawyer to the president and repeated thebet: $25,000 says the president’s balls are square!”
Thepresident agreed with the bet again and the old ladyasked him to drop his pants so they could all see. Thepresident complied. The little old lady peered closely athis balls and then asked if she could feel them.
“Well, Okay,” said the president, “$25,000 is a lot ofmoney, so I guess you should be absolutely sure.” Justthen, he noticed that the lawyer was quietly banging hishead against the wall.
The president asked the old lady,”What the hell’s the matter with your lawyer?”
She replied,”Nothing, except I bet him $100,000 that at 10:00 AMtoday, I’d have The Bank of Canada’s president’s balls inmy hand.”
WINO JOE WISDOM–Mr.Axe,GJMC,S.Africa. It ain’t an American “thing”. It’s World Wide”shit”. We ride together against it. These assholes wouldn’t go”one-on-one” in a bar fight, so FUCK’EM! Take’m out any chance ya get.One Biker Nation/Many Biker Patches. Ride together & “rat-pack”’em!
–WJUSA
BIKERNET INSIDER BIKER SCOOP–We make every effort to bring you the slippery scoop from inside of the industry. This was written to the editor of a major motorcycle magazine recently. We?ve eliminated names and mag title to prevent job loss. ?Just finished reading your “Meet the Editor” bio. You are as big a piece of manure in print as you are in person! What a waste of human flesh. If you insist on being so pompous, I suggest you shave off your beard …. that way you will properly resemble your only “ass”et!
People like you (the small number of ass-wipes in highly visible positions in the motorcycle world) are large contributors for the reasons riders receive a bad rap from the unindoctrinated. Now, please excuse me while I cancel my subscription..
BIKERNET INSIDER EMAIL–Here?s a small kick in the teeth from one of our esteemed contributors:Threats of impending Native Americans and Transexuals taken seriously by local authorities.Engines & Trannies, engines & trannies, engines & trannies, engines & trannies, engines & trannies……promises, promises, promises, promises, promises, promises, . Listenit?s the rhythm of your engine. mises, promises.
–Nuttboy,
Nuttboy busted his ass to help us build the Bikernet headquarters and has written stories such as Jake De? Hell I can?t even mention the name. We have told Nuttboy and Jon Towle that we will help them build choppers, because they?ve helped, and they couldn?t build a bike if their lives depended on it. Last week I announced that we had ordered the Rev Tech Engine and transmission for Nuttboy?s bike. So does he say, yippee and buy us all a cold one? Nooo.
MOTORCYCLE DOCTORS JUNE RALLY CELEBRATES 25 YEARS OF HEALING–April 2, 2002, Long Island, New York The Motorcycling Doctors Associationwill hold its annual rally, June 11-14, 2002, in Lake Placid, New York.Motorcyclists holding the degree of MD, DO, DMD, DVM, or DPM are encouragedto attend, and apply for membership. Associate membership is offered tolicensed providers holding PA, RN, LPN, DC, EMT, and other degrees. Weproudly celebrate twenty-five years of camaraderie, scientific exchange, andcharity.
Riding motorcycles carries another kind of mystique, like medicine, requiringsynergy and focus. Sometimes the best people to escape with are your peers. Aspecial kind of sharing occurs amongst fellow professionals, on mental, andemotional levels, further enhancing the therapeutic value of motorcyclingitself.
The Motorcycling Doctors Association takes the art of motorcycling asseriously as the art of healing. We hold ourselves to the highest educationalstandards of the Motorcycle Safety Foundation. Riding isn?t our littlesecret, it?s a dignified skill which allows us to meditate, clear our mindand strengthen our psyche. This is what we sharethe most visceral elementsof our identity.
Come to our rally! Come for the ridenowhere in America is summer morebeautiful than upstate New York. Mile after back road mile, the majesticAdirondack Mountains are gloriously alive with fragrant forests and thespirit of the Lake Placid Olympics.
The elegant Hilton Resort package includes generous amenities andentertainment. World traveler – Millennium-ride.com?s Simon Milward, willshow us the Arab/Muslim world he visted just before 9/11/01.Officers of theAmerican Motorcyclist Association and the Harley-Davidson Motor Company havebeen invited to present their insights. Our fellow caregivers in local RedKnights MC (firefighters and emergency services) and Harley Owners Groupchapters will join us for rides and gatherings. Local motorcycle shops cansupport any technical requirements.
Visit our web site http://motorcyclingdoctors.com to contact your closestmember. Meetings are rotated around the country, to encourage the ride, but alocal member can be your first contact. Ride to the rally, and share oursecret
Is this a fuckin? press release or a psychological appraisel of the melding of the medical profession and murder cycles? To many cyclists who have spent their adult lives maintaining and expanding our freedoms, doctors have been our nemesis. As motorcyclists this group could accomplish much for the sport. They could shatter the public burden theory used constantly by law makers. They could put helmets in their place and finally as an added bonus to the nature of man in general they could clear the air to legalizing prostitution. Maybe I?ll go.
BIKERNET BUELL UPDATE– What do you know, a Buell update. Been awhile. Actually not much has been happening. We all are waiting for the delivery of our Buell Firebolts.
I just got back from Phoenix. Went to a H-D service school. While at school (MMI) I got my first peak at the XB9R Firebolt!!! They have about fifthteen of the Buell Firebolts and Blast’s out there in storage.
In late spring MMI will teaching a 4 day Firebolt school for the factory. This is for the tech’s that haven’t been to Milwaukee for the school yet. I will going May 13th. thru. the 16th. Looking forward to it. I liked what I saw out there and I’m ready to tear into one.
Speaking of AZ. I went and saw the guy’s from Chandler H-D/Buell. They are building a new dealership down the street. Looks about six months away from being done. Damn this one will even have air conditioning not just SWAMP coolers!!!
They are a Buell dealer by the way. I also had a visit with the other people I know from Glendale H-D/Buell. My good friend Joe from Buddy Stubbs H-D hooked up with us all for some chow later that evening. Glendale H-D/Buell is also building a new place out by the sports complex in Phoenix. It’s gonna be a big store for sure. I think they also will have lot’s of air conditioning for the service department. Private joke.
With the new H-D/ Buell dealership in Mayer, AZ. Which by the way is awsome. Arizona is going to be a hot bed for the Buell riders in Arizona and around the country.
The only other thing that need’s mentioning here is there was some news from the winter H-D dealer meeting this year regarding the Buell models for 2003. It is my understanding that the M2, X1, and S3 models will be eliminated from the Buell line up for 03. Is this all true? From what I was told this is the last year for those models.
My favorite Buell was the RR1000 and the S2 Thunderbolt, which I own #200. The M2 was one of the entry level models that was in my opinion their best bike for the dollar. Who knows what the reason the “Funny Farm” has for eliminating these fine pieces of motorcycle art. Could it be all the recalls and the bad press they got???? Who the fuck knows.
This news on the Buell lineup for 03 made me put my feet together put my chin down and shake my head from side to side!!! The Bean counters always seem to have there vision of what people want or need. What happened to the thinking that someone might want to go touring on a Buell S3T!!While being excited for the new Buell Firebolt coming out to us in the spring I’m left thinking what’s going to be next from the “Funny Farm” !!
That’s all I have for now. More down the road lot’s of “Stuff” happening spring and summer. Stay tuned.
–Paul
Mustache–How the mustache was invented.
BIKERNET RESEARCH DEPARTMENT– If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb. (Now that’s more like it.)
BIKERNET OFFICE EDIQUETTE-A man walks up to a woman in his office each day,stands very close to her, draws in a large breathof air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can’t stand it any longer!The woman goes into her supervisor’s office, tells himwhat the coworker does, and that she wants to file asexual harassment suit against the man.
The supervisor is puzzled by this and asks………”What’s sexually threatening about a coworker tellingyou your hair smells nice?
The woman replies, “He’s a midget.”
–Fran
Tattoo-s Of The Week–Hey Bandit and Krew, what’s up ? So when are you do back in California, work here in Hawaii is picking up, alot more tourist are coming back to Hawaii since thing’s here were pretty bad since Sept. 11, i’m doing a project for Disney that we have been working on for about 2 week’s, there coming out with a new children’s movie called Lilo & Stitch were doing 4 ft. long sticker’s for surfboard’s that they are going to use as promo pretty wild stuff lot’s of color will send you what they look like, anyway hope all is well, oh yea here are some shot’s for your tatto part of bikernet, the girl’s name is Rhiannon,
Get in touch
Chris T.
“HAIL STORM”–A nice looking blonde was driving and got caught in areally bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents,so the next day she took it to a repair shop.
The shop owner, seeing she was a blonde, decided hewould have a little fun, since his shop was already sobusy. He told her just to go home and blow into thetailpipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out.
So the blonde goes home, gets down on her hands and knees and starts blowing into the tailpipe of her car.Nothing happened. She blows a little harder and stillnothing happens.
Just then, her roommate, anotherblonde, arrives home and sees what she is doing. “Whatare you doing?”she asks.
The first blonde tells her how the repairman hadinstructed her to blow into the tailpipe in order toget all the dents to pop out.
Her roommate, rolling her yes, looks at her roommate,and says,……..”HELLOOO”….you need to roll up the windows first!”
— Hell on Wheels
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