March 14, 2002 Part 3

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH BIG DADDY RAT ATTACKED BY FOUR YOUNG VOLUPTIOUS WOMEN

Continued From Page 2

Hey Bandit—I still can’t figure out why these back tires wear out so fast?Happy New Year from “Bikeweek”

burn

Kyle…

CRUISING RIDER AND AMERICAN RIDER SHARE EDITORS–Buzz Buzzelli of American Rider fame was recently kidnapped from his office and is being held hostage in a small tin shed behind the Buell Factory in Wisconsin. It could have been something he wrote, or hell, something he didn’t. Josh Placa a true company man raised his hand at a recent board meeting at Ehlert Publishing Group and volunteered to edit two issues of American Rider during the strenuous negotiating process. Rumor has it that if Buzz is not freed before the summer waves of heat and humidity drench said shed, he’s dead.

Josh who is headquartered in Sedona, Arizona immediately called the Bikernet headquarters for assistance. American Rider has recently been smeared on the drawing board for design changes and with Josh at the helm, who knows what will happen. Watch for it and report in if you notice improvements.

The Lovely Sasha Reports In—-
Bandit:
This photo is from my most recent photo session with photographer KarenFuchs here in NYC. She’s a popular sports figure and music artistphotographer.

sasha

Bike is courtesy of Chrome & Custom Cycles in New Jersey, built by JC. Lovethe pants? Thanks to Jan’s custom leather designs at House of Rousseaux.She designed this whole outfit just for me. The matching halter is awesometoo, but the session lights were just too hot for a top!

Sweet dreams!

Love always,
Sasha

The HELLBENT Event—
We were very honored when the Monterey Boyz asked us to do this Event with them, Sonny, and HELLBENT Custom Motorcycles. It is truly going to be a Rock Star Weekend because the night before this Event is Oakland’s infamous and widely notorious St. Patty’s Day Party. The party at HELLBENT Custom Motorcycles kicks off at 10am the very next day… (I think you see where I am going with this)

So, come party like a Rock Star with us next weekend. Show us what you are made of. And if you do not wear anything GREEN, well, you’ve heard of the “PIMPIN’ CREW”? Well, you had better keep an eye out for the “PINCHIN’ CREW”!!
No Blue Shirts/Khaki Pants

DEVIL DOLLS MOTORCYCLE CLUB

Goth

hell bent

“Afghanistan Liberal Cruise”– We at Carnival Cruise Lines didn’t forget that a lot of entertainers had promised to leave the country if George W. Bush became President. With that in mind, we have a Special Offer for those who want to keep their promise.

ATTENTION:

Would Alec Baldwin, Barbara Streisand, Rosie O’Donnell, Cher, Phil Donahue, David Geffen, Julia Roberts, Brad & Jennifer Pit, PierreSalinger, and anyone else who made that promise, please dispose of all U.S. assets and report to Florida for the sailing of the Funship Cruise, “Elation” which has been commissioned to take you to your new vacation homes in Afghanistan.

You may opt to be dropped off in Somalia or Iraq. The Florida Supreme Court will sponsor a Farewell Parade in your honor through Palm Beach, Broward, and Miami-Dade counties prior to your cruise.

Please pack for an extended stay…at least four years and you should consider the possibility of eight years.

Note: Since you advocate strict gun control, you may not bring any.

Staffing your voyage is Bill Clinton- as captain, Al Gore-as cruise director, Monica Lewinsky- as recreation director, Ted Kennedy- as lifeguard and emergency procedures Director, Rev. Jesse Jackson-as spiritual advisor and marriage counselor, and ex-Congressman Gary Condit – as intern coordinator.

If you’ve any questions about making arrangements for your homes, friends and loved ones, please direct your comments to Senator Hillary Clinton. Her ‘village’ can raise your children (while you’re gone) and she can watch over all your money and your furnishings until you return.

“Bon Voyage!”

—–Chris

Continued On Page 4

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