Continued From Page 3
Know Your Job—-
A priest was driving along and saw a nun on the side of the road, he stopped and offered her a lift which she accepted. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her habit to open and reveal a lovely leg.
The priest had a look and nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun looked at him and immediately said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”
The priest was flustered and apologized profusely.
He forced himself to remove his hand. However, he was unable to removehis eyes from her leg. Further on while changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, “Father, remember Psalm 129?”
Once again the priest apologized. “Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.”
Arriving at the convent, the nun got out gave him a meaningful glance and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to retrieve a bible and looked up Psalm 129.
It said, “Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory.”
MORAL OF THE STORY: Always be well informed in your job or you might missa great opportunity!
Big Sisters In Trouble Now—
A little girl came running into the house crying and miserable from asmall cut she just received. She asked her mom for a glass of cider.
“Why do you want cider?” asked Mom.
“To take the pain away, ” sobbed the little girl.
Tired of all the tears, Mom poured her a glass.
The little girl immediately put her hand into the drink.
“It doesn’t work!” she yelled.
“What do you mean?” asked Mom.
“Well, ” sniffed the little girl, “I overheard my sister say that whenever she gets a prick in her hand, she can’t wait to get it in cider.”
Don’t try this at home, boys and girls!
Something to think about!—
A boat docked in a tiny Mexican village. The American tourist standingnearby complimented the Mexican fisherman on the quality of his fishandasked how long it took him to catch them. “Not very long,” answeredtheMexican. “But then, why didn’t you stay out longer and catch more?”askedthe American. The Mexican explained that his small catch wassufficienttomeet his needs and those of his family. The American asked, “But whatdoyoudo with the rest of your time?” “I sleep late, fish a little, playwithmychildren, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go intothevillage to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, andsingafew songs…I have a full life.”
The American interrupted, “I’d like to give you some advice. I’m amanagerwith GE, have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! If you startfishinglonger every day, you can then sell the extra fish you catch. With theextrarevenue, you can buy a bigger boat. With the extra money the largerboatwill bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on untilyouhave an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to amiddleman, you can negotiate directly with the processing plants andmaybeeven open your own plant. You can then leave this little villageand movetoMexico City, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you candirectyour huge enterprise. “How long would that take?” asked the Mexican.”Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years,” replied the American. “And afterthat?””Afterwards? That’s when it gets really interesting,” answered theAmerican,laughing. “When your business gets really big, you can start sellingstocksand make millions!” “Millions? Really? And after that?”
“After thatyou’llbe able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late,playwith your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta, and spend youreveningsdrinking and enjoying your friends!”
Well, them Bikernet females was like a bunch of braying mules. They were hootin’ and hollerin’, crowding the doorway, pointing at the little fella. I grabbed my pants and hobbled away, hollerin’ back at them, “I’ve got news for you. See if I offer to get naked with you again, ya’ floppy-titted, fat assed dikes.”
Sin Wu hollered back, “We aren’t getting naked for you, ya’ slime-ball. We’re getting naked for the paying subscribers to Bandits Cantina. Only the finest strip bare for the pleasure of a real connoisseur of female flesh.” Some days are like that, goddamn it. I’ll let Bandit tell you to live free and ride with the wind. As for me, I’m finishing off this six pack.
