Take for example the women who are bouncing around the Bikernet headquarters. They’re a bunch of tight-assed bitches. It’s that Dragon Lady, Sin Wu and her gang of lesbo-lust nymphet?s. They wouldn’t recognize prime stud talent if it bit ’em on the ass. Just yesterday, I get wind of something new happening at Bikernet. I hear that the site is going naked. So I figure to get in on some of the action. I mean what horny harlot could pass up a chance to do the ‘slow dance’ with the Snake? Maybe it’ll be a steaming hot tub with a bevy of beauties all hot to have me join ’em.
So, I pop for a six-pack of high-powered “Still Reserve” and one of them glow-in-the-dark condoms. I figure to state my case loud and clear, so I drop trousers just before I knock on the door. It was a cold night and they took their time getting to the door. By the time they opened it, the cold had given me a case of “shrinkage”, if you know what I mean. Anyway, when they opened the door, there I stood, proud as can be?a six pack of beer in one hand, a condom in the other, and a less than rigid salute.
Did ya’ ever have a day where no matter what you did, it always turned out to be the crappy end of the stick. Some days are like thin Kleenex, ya’ blow yer nose too hard and end up with a handful of snot.
Bikernet Caribbean Report—Just got in from the shop, trying to finish the Sportster chopper beforeleaving for Daytona, so this photo of the “Let’s save the underratedSporty” is not even an hour old. We still need to finish some details but ,don’t we always?
The winner of the Trivia is Aaron Pritchard from House of Thunder in GuymanOklahoma, as soon as we know the size and address the shirt will be on theway.
Work is getting kind of brutal, sort of looking forward to our Daytona”vacation” and getting to see all those new bikes and ideas, seems like isnot gonna be too (too,too) crowded, like always we waited until the lastminute to reserve hotel rooms and this year we found with no problem, wedid not even had to bribe the reservations agent this time, cool ! If anyof our readers see us around come say hi and shoot the shit for awhile, oneof the coolest things about this events is meeting people face to face.Just in case here’s a shot of what I look like, you might know already Yolyfrom the mag article.
Another thing, the orange West Coast Chopper will be in Daytona and it’sfor sale if interested shoot an e-mail and let us knowJose@ ChopperFreak.com
Next week we will not report since we will be in Florida, but we promise alot of stuff by the time we come back……..See ya soon !
Jose…….Bikernet Caribbean
We?ve Always Done It That Way—Does the statement, “We’ve always done it that way” ring any bells… ? The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8. 5 inches. That’s an exceedingly odd number.
Why was that gauge used?
Because that’s the way they built them in England, and English expatriates built the US Railroads.
Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways, and that’s the gauge they used.
Why did “they” use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that they used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.
Okay! Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that’s the spacing of the wheel ruts.
So who built those old rutted roads?
Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (and England) for their legions. The roads have been used ever since.
And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.
The United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. And bureaucracies live forever. So the next time you are handed a specification and wonder what horse’s ass came up with it, you may be exactly right, because the Imperial Roman war chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the back ends of two war horses.
Now the twist to the story…
When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs. The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory at Utah. The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains. The SRBs had to fit through that tunnel. The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses’ behinds.
So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world’s most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse’s ass.
… and you thought being a HORSE’S ASS wasn’t important!
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