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Puss-In-Boots In The Nude!
Well, sorta. Don?t keep scrolling down guys, you?re not going to see her ass.I put a call out last week for your pictures of tattoos. I?ve only received a couple of responses so?.. Come on you people?.. Send me your tattoos! With your submission to sinwu@bikernet.com, be sure to include your address and I’ll send you a Bikernet sticker. One of the Bikernet bitches showed hers last week so don?t be shy. Let?s have em? people.
Hey Puss, sorry I won’t be making it out your way for my birthday. Chris Chrome and some shady folks from the IMB Academy are taking me out for sushi. The Sifu’s birthday is Monday the 21st, the day before mine. He said for my birthday he won’t kick my ass. For his birthday I have to… well, I’d better not say since Bandit isn’t around. Someone keeps telling him what’s going on here. There’s a rat in the headquarters and it ain’t no female.
Layla
5 stages of sex
1) The first is Smurf Sex. This happens during the honeymoon period;youboth keep doing it until you’re blue in the face.
2) The second is Kitchen Sex. This is at the beginning of the marriage;you’ll have sex anywhere, anytime, even in the kitchen.
3) The third kind is Bedroom Sex. You’ve calmed down a bit, perhaps>> havekids, so you gotta do it in the bedroom.
4) The fourth kind is Hallway Sex. This is the phase in which youpasseachother in the hallway and say, “SCREW YOU!”
5) There is also a fifth kind of sex: Courtroom Sex. This is whenyougetdivorced and your wife (or husband) screws you in front of everyoneinthecourtroom.
Quilting2friendship Fat Theology
And God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives. And Satan created McDonald’s. And McDonald’s brought forth the 99-cent double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, “You want fries with that?”
And Man said, “Super size them.” And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, “Try my crispy fresh salad.”
And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, “I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them.”
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter.
And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels between ESPN and ESPN2.
And Man gained pounds.
And God said, “You’re running up the score, Devil.”
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also.
And Man clutched his remote control and ate the potato chips swaddled in cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, “It is good.”
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And Satan created HMOs.
Truck Black Box
Over the last five years the NTSB has been covertly funding aproject with U.S.auto makers whereby the auto makers have been installing “black boxes”in allfour-wheel-drive pickup trucks they have manufactured. This was todetermine, infatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before thecrash. Theywere surprised that in 42 of the 50 states, the last words of the drivers in61.2 percent of thefatal crashes were, “OH SHIT!” Only the states of Arkansas, WestVirginia,Georgia, Mississippi, Louisiana, Alabama, Texas, and Tennessee weredifferent,where over 89.3 percent of the final words were, “Hold my beer and watch this.”
Harley-Davidson Introduces Firefighter Special Edition–
Cast from the strong and reliable reputation of Harley-Davidson’s Touring line, the new for 2002 Harley-Davidson Firefighter Special Edition salutes the heroes who risk their lives everyday.Sporting a solid Scarlet Red paint scheme with double gold pinstripes and the renowned characteristic Harley chrome treatment, the Firefighter Special Edition FLHTC Classic Electra Glide, FLHRI Road King and FLHTCUI Ultra Classic Electra Glide are signature red fire trucks on two wheels. Powered by Harley-Davidson’s Twin Cam 88 engine, the Firefighter Special rolls with smooth, supple power. Rubber isolation mounts keep vibrations to the rider at a minimum, while the plush suspension makes the ride into the station comfortable.
Kin to the Peace Officer Special Edition models, the Firefighter Special Editions come with a decal to fit on the bike’s console describing the model as the “H-D Firefighter Special Edition”, while cast wheels finish up an aesthetic treatment that complements the touring model’s classic lines.
The honor of being a firefighter has its rewards, and the only way to order a Firefighter Special Edition is by submitting a copy of an official firefighter identification card when ordering the model through your local dealer
Harley-Davidson Motor Company, the only major U.S.-based motorcycle manufacturer, produces heavyweight motorcycles and a complete line of motorcycle parts, accessories and general merchandise. For more information, visit Harley-Davidson’s web site at www.harley-davidson.com.
BONNEVILLE SALT FLATS BOOK REPRINTED–
The Bonneville Salt Flats history book is scheduled for its thirdprinting,but will be a second edition with selected corrections. It will be a soft coveredition with a retail pricing of $24.95. This will allow more people toafford the book. The books are expected to be in the warehouse no later thanMay 2002.
On a sad note, the publisher has informed me they are allowing the hardbound edition to go out of print. In an effort to stave off the inevitable alittle while longer, I worked out a one-time opportunity to make one finalorder of hardbound books (these will also have the above mentionedcorrections) and will place the order Jan. 31.
Without making any financial commitment, I am polling interested parties todiscover what, if any, interest there would be in obtaining the finalhardbound editions of the book.
I am also ordering a limited number of unbound books that will becomespecially autographed editions available for sale at a future, undetermineddate (It’s going to take a long time to get them all signed by the racers).
If you have any interest in either the hard bound, or special autographededitions, please reply to me no later than Jan. 27.
LandSpeed Productions will be upgrading its communications network and maybe off-line for up to three weeks. The fax number will also be changing.There is no guarantee that email will be delivered to me after the 27th.When the new service is established and stabilized, contact information willbe made available.
–“LandSpeed” Louise Ann Noeth
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