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This is a comp for our Sturgis billboard art, check it out! I sent it to all 7,000 members of the Bikernet staff and this was the worse response
All right, all right, let’s break up this shilly shallying.– ?God Damn it,I’ve got some bent over 16d nails and a bag of old coffee grounds dripping onthe linoleum. ??What the hell is all the hubbub about? ?Ya’ got yer bouncin’Brenda and her bodacious breasts, ya’ got yer Sturgis drunks and yahoos, ya’got yer Sin Wu tits in an uproar…enough already. ?
Let’s see…okay, here’sthe test. ?I spit in my upturned left hand, then I slaps my right hand downon top. ?Whatever the most splattered spit lands on is the winner. ?Okay,here goes……..!Splat! ?Shit! Got me right in the eye, goddamn it. ?Okay,that’s it, the eyes have it. ?Run the fucking “Flaming Deaths Head” as Laylacalls it, maybe then she won’t kick me in the balls. ?Jesus, you guys reallyknow how to have a good time. ? ?????????????????
Shave your poodle, ?? ???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
????That CrotchityOld Fuck that waves at the traffic on PCH
PULL OVER, DAMNIT–A California policeman pulled a car over and told the driverthat because he had been wearing his seatbelt, he had just won$5,000 dollars in the statewide safety competition.”What are you going to do with the money?” asked the policeman.
“Well, I guess I’m going to get a driver’s license,” he answered.
“Oh, don’t listen to him,” yelled the woman in the passenger seat.”He’s a real jerk when he’s drunk.”
This woke up the guy in the back seat, who took one look at thecop and moaned, “I knew we wouldn’t get far in a stolen car.”
At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said,in Spanish, “Are we over the border yet?”
LOS ANGELES CALENDAR BIKE SHOW UPDATE–We are happy to announce the 2002 edition of theHot Bike magazine presentsThe White Brothers LA Calendar Motorcycle ShowSaturday July 21st & Sunday July 22ndsponsored by Performance Machine, The Recycler, Hollywood Blond Beer and BikerNet is again a sold out affair with some 100 major manufacturers, product companies, and a few select venders for added variety, in attendance. We are happy to have additional New Exhibitors joining us year from way back East including Chrome Specialties, Drag Specialties and RC Components among others.
I hope to see all our you at the Bikernet.com party aboard the Queen Mary on Saturday night. Hopefully you’ve booked a room to stay onboard the ship for the weekend.
Spectator Parking -The good news is the Queen Mary is presently building a new parking structure in their parking lot to increase parking in the future, but the bad news is it won’t be completed until next year. On Sunday in particular, the Queen Mary’s paid parking lot will be limited just to motorcycles so we accommodate as many ride-in spectators as possible and provide their bikes with theft security. Plus the City of Long Beach is allowing us to chain link fence-off and close the public street north of the Park for additional security paid motorcycle parking.
Spectators and Exhibitors arriving in cars must anticipate parking in the City parking structures by the Aquarium and the Convention center and riding the City Shuttle Bus to the Bike Show. This parking problem is the tradeoff we must accept to be at such a beautiful location as the Queen Mary. We have investigated every other location in greater Los Angeles from the Rose Bowl, to the Petersen Museum, Pomona Fair Grounds, to California Speedway and Irwindale Speeday, Griffith Park, and many others, and the Queen Mary is the best there is, all factors considered. Besides the Queen Mary’s own Security Force, the City of Long Beach police will be out in force and patrolling all the parking areas at this year’s Show.
New Hostess -Our LA Calendar Bike Show this year, for the first time ever will be hosted by a woman -actress, stunt woman and kick ass biker babe Brenda Fox! Brenda’s knows many of our exhibitors, personally (!), and will be pumping your exhibits throughout the weekend. Check out Brenda’s pic on Bandit’s chopper at http://www.FastDates.com/BikeShow.htm
New Vintage Bike Class!
Do to popular demand we will be adding a new Class for Vintage Bikes at this year’s Calendar Bike Show. One of celebrity judges, renown bike restorer Don Whalen who’s bikes are the centerpieces of the Otis Chandler, Peterson Automotive, Barbour and Jay Leno collections, has promised us to bring out the finest Vintage bikes on the West Coast for our Show.
See you at the Show!Best regards,-Jim Gianatsis, Producer
MOTORCYCLE INSURANCE QUOTES ON LINE–Actually Dana can quote insurance for your business, health or life. He rides and understands the lifestyle. If you need a question answered don’t hesitate to ask.
HOW DO MAGAZINES’ SALES COMPARE TODAY?Magazines are sold in two basic ways, on the newsstand or by subscription. Many experts view newsstand sales as the more realistic measure of the popularity of a magazine, as subscription sales are easy to manipulate via contests, deep discounts, etc.
The largest player on the newsstand distribution side is Anderson News Company, which sells roughly 1 out of every 3 magazines on the newsstand.
Anderson News Company runs annual rankings of their magazines sales by category. Here is the information they developed for the last period for their Street Cycle Category:
INDUSTRY SHARE OF MARKET
1 Motorcyclist
2 Cycle World
3 American Iron Mag
4 Hot Bike
5 Sport Rider
6 MC Tour & Cruiser
7 V Twin
8 Hot Rod Bikes
9 Moto X Journal
10 American Rider
11 CW Specials
12 Ironworks
13 Rider
14 Cruising Rider
15 MC Street & Strip
16 Am Road & Racing
17 Long Riders
18 Sturgis Rally News
19 MC Performance
20 Eng Fast Bikes
21 Official MC Prices
As you can see from the above data, the three best selling titles,Motorcyclist, Cycle World and American Iron Magazine, combined represent well over halfof all motorcycle magazines sales, and more sales than the other 18 titles’ sales COMBINED.
This HarleySmart@aol.com information is brought to you by Buzz Kanter andthe staff of American Iron Magazine, the world’s most popular Harley-oriented magazine.
If you wish to contact anyone at American Iron Magazine, please call 203/425-8777 in Connecticut. American Iron Magazine’s editor is ChrisMaida, and the advertising manager is Steve Jaten.
LIFE’S LITTLE LESSONS–Someone who teaches at a middle school in Safety Harbor, Fla., forwarded the following letter. The letter was sent to the principal’s office, after the school had sponsored a luncheon for the elderly.
Dear Safety Harbor Middle School,
God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent senior citizen’s luncheon. I am 84 years old and live at the Safety Harbor Assisted Home for the Aged.
All of my family has passed away. I am all alone now, and it’s nice to know that someone is thinking of me. God Bless you for your kindness to an old forgotten lady.
My roommate is 95 and always had her own radio, but before I received one, she would never let me listen to hers, even when she was napping.
The other day her radio fell off the night stand and broke into a lot of pieces. It was awful and she was in tears. She asked, if she could listen to mine, and I said fuck you.
Life is good.
–Rita Mines
JOKER MACHINE QUALITY–We’re fortunate to have the highest quality billet manufacturer in the industry represented on the site. If you want billet accessories that work and fit, check them out at http://www.jokermachine.com.
THE FACE LIFT–A lady in her late 40s went to a plastic surgeon for a face lift. The doctor told her of a new procedure called “The Knob.” This small knob is planted on the back of a woman’s head and can be turned to tighten the skin to produce the effect of a brand new facelift forever.
Of course the woman wanted “The Knob.”
Fifteen years later, the woman went back to the surgeon with two problems. “All these years everything had been working just fine. I’ve had to turn the knob on lots of occasions and I’ve loved the results.
But now, I have developed two annoying problems. First of all, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and The Knob won’t get rid of them.”
The doctor looked at her and said, “Those aren’t bags; those are your breasts.” She replied, “Well, I guess that explains the goatee.”
–Helen Wolfe
BIKER/SAILOR REPORT–Go for it friend! After many years of offshore life, I still am amazed at the ways of landlubbers. The sea is an open canvas, a way of life dependent on the shifts of the earth’s elements. It is also the ultimate monitor and measure for the magnitude of man. Everything man does in his landbound existence finds its way to the sea. The sea is also something that man has never been able to enforce his control over. Time at sea would be time well spent.
–All the best,Anson
NOTICE OF CANCELLATION–In November 2000, the VNV M/C USA, Ga. & the Brothers Too M/C USA, Ga. entered into an agreement with the Al Sihah Shrine Temple to rent the Al Sihah Shrine Park in Macon, Ga., for the weekend of July 20 & 21, 2001 for the purpose of hosting the July Jam. On June 9, 2001, the VNV M/C USA, Ga. state president was notified that the Al Sihah Shrine Temple was exercising its right to cancel the contract due to the VNV party interferring with a Shrine event they had scheduled for the same weekend; at the samelocation.
It is with sincere regrets that, after exhausting all efforts to aquire another location and obtain the required alcoholic beverage permits, that we, the VNV M/C USA, Ga. & the Brothers Too M/C USA, Ga., have had to cancel the July Jam. We thank all whohave supported us at previous July Jams and hope that all will understand. We hope to be able to locate a place and host the party in July 2002.
–Glenn “Boats” Grimes
CRIME IN ANN ARBOR– The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Mich., at 12:50 a.m., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said hecouldn’t open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, theclerk said they weren’t available for breakfast. The man,frustrated,walked away.
GUN LAW ALERT–H.R. 255 (Gilman): This bill would:Create grant programs for states which, among other things, buy backfirearms,require licensees to sell trigger locks with all firearms, and criminalizeanypurchase of handguns by a person who has not attained the age of 21;Prohibit the importation of magazines used in semiautomatic firearms;
Allow current and retired “qualified law enforcement officers” withidentification to carry concealed firearms in other states, subject to thosestates’ restrictions on carrying concealed firearms;Establish a school counseling demonstration grant program.
For more information contact:GUN OWNERS ALLIANCE, Chris W. Stark – Director,
P.O. Box 1924
Crosby, Texas 77532-1924
Ph. (713) 202-9548 Fax (810) 283-7459
http://www.GOA-Texas.org
e-mail: Director@GOA-Texas.org
IRON HORSE TRIKE GOD DOWNED–The main mechanic, Paul Venturo, behind the success of car-powered Iron Horse Trikes is Rosewell, New Mexico was run off the road recently. Week before last on a Wednesday at 7:30 Paul was run off the road on his brand new 2000 Wide Glide H-D. The bikes was totaled.
Paul has been in a comma for over a week. Don Center, the owner of Iron Horse Trikes has been going to the hospital and spending hours talking to Paul, trying to revive him. Paul has worked of Don for 4 years. Paul broke everything on his left side, left foot, leg, kneecap, arm and wrist, but the crucial aspects of the accident were the brain bleeders, which rendered him unconscious.
We wish him luck and a positive and full recovery. If you would like to send a buck or two to help defray medical expenses, his bank is Well Fargo, Rosewell, New Mexico, account number 1352516198. Any donations will be acknowledged and appreciated. Thank you.
HEY, I’M DONE–I quit focusing an hour ago. I’m snorting Diet Cokes and praying for parts. Phil arrived with the paint and a bill that floored me, but it’s a fuckin’ knockout. I hope to have a report on the Buell’s progress over the weekend, and I just got word that the Dallas Shovelhead is being torn down for paint in the next couple of weeks.
I’m headed to Dallas in a few weeks, and there maybe something to look at.
I’m fading and need to get into the garage and to work. I want this damn thing fired this weekend so we can ride, goddamnit.–Bandit
