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MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE–On their way to get married, a young couple are involved in a fatal car accident. The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven. While they are waiting, they begin to wonder, “Could they possibly get married in Heaven?”
When St. Peter shows up, they ask him. St. Peter says, “I don’t know, this is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,” and he leaves.
The couple sits and waits for an answer. It takes a couple of months. While they are waiting, they discuss whether or not they should get married, what with the eternal aspect of it all.
“What if it doesn’t work?” they wondered, “are we stuck together forever?”
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. “Yes,” he informs the couple, “you CAN get married in Heaven.”
Great!” said the couple. “But we were just wondering, what if things don’t work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?”
St. Peter, red-faced, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
“What’s wrong?” asks the frightened couple.
“OH, C’MON!” St. Peter shouts, “it took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it’ll take me to find a lawyer?”
WEEKLY SPECIALS–Every week the Bikernet crew will come up with a bucks-saving special on a book, shirt, HA vest or… Check out the gift shops in the Bikernet Gulch for totally secure ordering, great prices and convenience — you don’t need to leave your garage and run all over the state to find what you need.
If you think we should be carrying a particular line of products, drop me a nasty note. I can take it–Bandit@bikernet.com.
VANCIL WINS IN CANADA–Doug Vancil of Albuquerque, N.M., pulled his Screamin’Eagle Nitro Harley by Vance& Hines/Drag Specialties out of the trailer and ripped off a 6.456 ET at215.46 mph for No. 1 qualifier at Grand Bend, Ontario, at the second annualMopar Performance Parts Nationals presented by Castrol. With ultraconsistency, Vancil dashed through the field, never leaving the 6.5s for hisfirst IHRA win of the season.
Breaking the bridesmaid syndrome, after two previous runner ups at Rockinghamand Richmond, Vancil defeated Steve Stordeur of Mancuso Racing in the finalswith a 6.551 at 204.35 mph over 6.633 ET at 209.93 mph.
The Vancils are supported by Vance & Hines, Drag Specialties, PerformanceMachine, K & N, Valvoline, B & J Transmission and Axtell.
POLAND’S WORST AIR DISASTER– occurred when a two-seat Cessna 152 crashedinto a cemetery today.
Polish search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expectthat number to climb as digging continues into the night.
BREVARD CULTURAL ALLIANCE PRESENTS ART OF HARLEYS– One of the ways that the Brevard Cultural Alliance raises money for their Youths at Risk Arts Program is by having this yearly event. The money goes to teach kids art instead of “muggin’ and thuggin’.” Just in case you’re doing one of them “what’s that got to do with motorcycles?” where do you think custom bike builders, painters and tattoo artists come from?
It was a fun day and a well-organized event. There was a bike show, some real art, a bike rodeo, music and, of course, a bunch of vendors.
I got to see a lot of friends and have a bunch of beers so it was a great day for me. The only part was I didn?t win the bike they raffled off. Of course I need another one just as much as Bandit. HEY YOU NEVER HAVE TOO MANY MOTORCYCLES!!!!!!!!
–ROGUE
AN OUTRAGE–“It is an outrage that 10,446 law enforcement agencies wasted their time and energy to browbeat motorists for not wearing a seatbelt — in a nation where 90,000 women are raped annually; 15,000 people are murdered; 400,000 people are robbed; and 900,000 people are assaulted. That’s not public safety — it’s public harassment. It’s a criminal misuse of law enforcement resources, and Americans should be outraged by it.”
— Steve Dasbach, the Libertarian Party’s national director, reacts with outrage to Operation ABC Mobilization, a nation-wide Memorial Day weekend seatbelt-crackdown sponsored by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. ABC, in case you need an ipecac (look it up), stands for America Buckles Up Children.
CHROME SPECIALTIES GIRLS–This is just a taste of the world of Chrome Specialties Girls we hope to feature here on Bikernet. The cutest babe on the CSI staff, Dawn Marchand, their media manager, handled the shoot. I’ll bet she did… Some of the girls are local Dallas and Fort Worth “Hooters” girls and Dawn’s notion is to use the shots with the CSI 2001 bikes for ads, promo, Web site screen savers, posters/calendars and more. With Dawn groping this situation, I’m sure there will be more. You’ll see the girls pop up around Bikernet and in the Chrome Specialties Department.
AHDRA ROCKY MOUNTAIN NITRO NATIONALS PRESENTED BY RIVERA ENGINEERING/PRIMO BELT DRIVES AND THE GATES RUBBER COMPANY, BANDIMERE SPEEDWAY, DENVER, COLORADO, JUNE 16-17–What do you get when you combine 200 mph motorcycles, live bands, drag racing school, camping, tons of vendors and a chance to win a brand new Harley-davidson motorcycle in a setting as beautiful as the Rocky Mountains? Give up? Announcing the 2001 AHDRA Rocky Mountain Nitro Nationals.
The action returns to Bandimer Speedway July 16-17 in one fire breathing weekend. See JIMS Top Fuelers, S&S Cycle Pro Stock, Joker Machine Modified, Dynojet Street Pro and Andrews ET racers compete for a piece of the $35,000 purse. Enter your bike in the ride-in bike show. Get off the street and on the rack with Hot Rod Bikes How to Go Drag Racing School. Enjoy great food and beer while watching hot bands. Plus be a part of the Miracle Ride of the Rockies, the charity ride that raised over $100,000 for the Muscular Dystrophy Association last year. Be there, be there.
WHITEHORSE PRESS RELEASES NEW SUMMER RIDING CATALOG–The WhiteHorse Press gang is now distributing “Sam ‘Chopper’ Orwell,” so you need to check their lastest catalog to see what they wrote about me. Their summer/fall catalog contains 64 full-color pages jam-packed with unique stuff for bikers. Their extensive catalog focuses on riding and touring and includes quality books, videos, riding accessories, an expanded camping line, dozens of classic biker movies and a selection of handy tools to carry with you on your next adventure. You can order a catalog by going to their Web site at www.WhitehorsePress.com. Don’t miss it.
HEY BANDIT–My bike was in the November Bikernet Bike Show “In memory of Justin”. It won first place in its class. Every year I put together a poker run and bike show that I call Run For Breath–In Memory of Justin Pullin. The run will be held July 22, here in Charlotte, N.C.
Last year we raised $6,000. At the end of the run there were over 1,000 bikes present. Every year it gets bigger. For more information check our web site www.h-dofcharlotte.com. Hope to see you there.
–Mike Pullin
Harley-Davidson of Charlotte
(704) 847-4647
I’ll be there, Mike.–Bandit
LADIES CHOICE–A woman goes into a tattoo parlor and tells the tattooartist that she wants a tattoo of a turkey on her rightthigh just below her bikini line. She also wants him toput “Happy Thanksgiving” under the turkey.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking really good.The woman then instructs him to put a Santa tattoo with”Merry Christmas” up on her left thigh.
So the guy does it and it comes out looking good, too.As the woman is getting dressed to leave, the tattooartist asks, “If you don’t mind, could you tell me whyyou had me put such unusual tattoos on your thighs?”
She says, “I’m sick and tired of my husband complainingall the time that there’s nothing good to eat betweenThanksgiving and Christmas!”
LET’S BEAT FEET–The Buell is apart and off to paint. NuttBoy’s ProStreet rolling chassis is off the lift on wheels. We got our stats from last month and we’re hanging at 1.4 million hits a month and 78,000 user sessions. The word on the street is that the largest motorcycle site out there is about to clip its computer power cord. They’re toast.
If that’s the case and you frequent Motorcycle World, let us know what we can do to better Bikernet for you, or what service they provided that you’ll pine away for in the night.
All this business bullshit is just that. Business is a gamble and I’m sure they gave it their best shot. We’re not doing this to be “in business.” It’s what we do ’cause we love motorcycles and it’s a blast and it gives us the freedom to work on bikes and hang out when we’re not starving to death. Sure, I wish I could afford a new truck, but I’d rather have the freedom any day. Besides, if I was tied to a desk, who would be here to meet Sin Wu at noon? Ride forever.–Bandit
