The Digital Gangster ran up to me at midnight and screamed something about being two hours late for his flight back to Washington and being in mortal fear for his life. I could sympathize with him, knives had been drawn on two occasions but I couldn’t leave until I had hit on every woman in the joint. The Gangster yanked on my arm, spilled my Jack Daniels and was delivered to the airport in a box. A full report on the Bikernet 2nd annual Super Bowl party is forthcoming after the attorneys and Nuutboy get through editing it. Let’s get to the news:
CHICAGO JOE ROCKS LAS VEGAS–Here are some of my pictures of Chicago Joe from Las Vegas 2000 and Woodburn ’99.
DEAR JOHNNY CARSON–I’ll try to attach a piece I did for a show here…it’s a long story butyou’ll get the idea if you concentrate very hard! (Did I just say hard?!)OK, nevermind…gotta get my mind back on track. This painting is not forpublic consumption but the one I’m doing will be.I’m off to Phoenix this morning on a last minute mission.
Crazed weirdo fucked up woman artist in Northern Arizona looking for love inall the right places!Soon to be sated…
–Rosemary
H-D OF CHARLOTTE CUSTOM PERFORMANCE BUELL–This is a customer’s Buell X-1 Millennium. This is Chip’s “Go Fasta” bike. His other bike is a new Dresser for touring. The Buell is for pure fun.
He added the new shift linkage for 2001. A race kit has been installed, pipe, muffler, air cleaner and ignition module. The pipe has been Jet-Hot coated. He also elected to put on a steering dampner. Chip then installed a few of the Buell accessories now available.The biggest addition to this Buell is the top-end upgrade Chip did. Hedecided to go with the Millennium Tech. aluminum cylinders. These are made without a steel liner like a H-D cylinder and are plated with the nickle-silicon-carbide process. These cylinders are race-proven by Don Tilley. These are the cylinders to use for the next level of performance for the “killer” Buell engine.
In additon, the heads were ported and flowed by Nallin using his pistondesign. The cylinders provide for better ring seal, they distort less. There’s more efficient heat transfer and less friction because of the plating. The plating surface is very hard and lasts a long time.This is a very cool X-1 and runs very strong.
–Paul
IT’S GOOD TO BE A MAN
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be president.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
Car mechanics tell you the truth.
You don’t give a rat’s ass if someone notices your new haircut.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station because this one’s just too icky.
Same work … more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding Dress $5000; Tux rental $100.
People never glance at your chest when you’re talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all your own jars.
Dry cleaners and hair cutters don’t rob you blind.
You can leave the motel bed unmade.
You can kill your own food.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
You can “do” your nails with a pocketknife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives on Dec. 24, in 45 minutes
–KR
SCREAMIN’ EAGLE ANNOUNCES THE RELEASE OF THE LONG- AWAITED STROKER KIT FOR TWIN CAMS–Available by March 1, in limited supplies, will be a 4 3/8 Stroke flywheel assembly for 99-later Twin Cam 88 carbureted models (except Softail models). This kit requires the use of Screamin Eagle 3 7/8 bore Stroker pistons.
The flywheel kit with the Stroker Big Bore pistons will yield an engine size of 103 C.I. or a (03 if you will) Twin Cam. Compression ratio with these pistons is 10:1.P/N and additional info can be had at your local H-D dealer. Supply will be limited at first.
One thing I wanted to also mention was that Zippers was selling a Big Bore cylinder for the Twin Cam engine, sized at 4 1/8 bore. Using these with the new Stroker kit would give you an engine size of 117 C.I. The cases need to be bored for these cylinders and they would retain the H-D factory piston cooling jets.When you split the cases for the installation of the Stroker flywheel kit, this would be the time to have Zippers do the cases. Also at the same time have the heads sent out to be reworked.Zippers could probably set you up with Stroker pistons.
Also, T-Man Performance and Trock Cycle are other options for Big Bore Stroker pistons.I would recommend sending the heads to BC Gerolamy or T-Man Performance.TR at T-man has found out after checking the cams for the Twin Cam engine that there is a slight timing problem. He has come up with a cam fix to straighten it out and get correct cam timing.
— Paul
T-Man Performance
205 Pitts St.
Kernersville, N.C. 27284
1-336-993-7068
Tmanperformance.com
Trock Cycle Specialties
13N417 French Rd.
Hampshire, Ill. 60140
1-847-683-4010
DAYTONA BILLBOARD RELEASED– This is it folks. We’ll be on International Speedway from the middle of February to the middle of March, between Ridgewood and Nova Boulevard.
THE ITALIAN SAYS–“When I’ve a finisheda makina da love with my girlfriend,I go down and gently tickel the back of her knees, she floats a 6 inchesabovea da bed, in ecstasy.”
The Frenchman replies, “Zat is nothing, when Ah’ve finished making ze lovewith ze girlfriend, Ah kiss all ze way down her body and zen ah lick zasoles of her feet wiz mah tongue and she floats 12 inches above ze bed, inpure ecstasy.”
The redneck says, “That’s nothing buddy. When I’ve finished doin’ it to myole lady, I git out of bed, walks over to the winder, and wipes my peckeron the curtains, she hits the freakin roof!!!
–Ray Russell
CCI REPORT–Had a busy weekend, which ended Sunday with the CCI product review in Charlotte. Went to the Easyriders show the night before. The turn-out to me seemed a little low compared to previous years. There were a few nice bikes. I got some pictures but haven’t downloaded yet (see coverage on Bikernet).
I wanted to send some ink on my take from the CCI deal while it’s still fresh in the old brain. First, this was a really well put together conference. They provided a great lunch and first-class meeting facility. It had dealers from all over the Southeast in attendance. It was first-rate all the way.
Our Southeast CCI reps., Norm and Mike, did an outstanding job of showing the latest stuff coming out from CCI. Rick Doss, the “Southern Gentleman,”was also there explaining some things coming out around September at the big CCI show in California.One of the big highlights was a new financing program from Horizon 2000. This will allow a customer to finance a build- your-own bike kit from CCI with no money down! This will offer the aftermarket shops a cool way of helping the customer put together a custom bike package and have the option to finance it like a new bike. Really cool concept.
Another topic mentioned was that if CCI doesn’t have the exact frame you want in its catalog, that you can make up a custom frame order(stretch/rake, etc.) from CCI with approximately 30 day lead time.
Also sometime around September, CCI will be offering the new signature bike kits. These will be limited-edition custom bike kits, low in prodution numbers, designed by some of the top bike builders in the industry.
CCI showed off the new Regency front fork, which is a 58 mm upside style fork. From what I saw, it was made really well and the chrome was high quality. The pricing was very affordable.
Let’s see what else, oh yeah, CCI picked the entire line from Jaybrake.Some cool slip on mufflers for the 2000 H-D model exhaust systems. Alsothere was something about a right sided drive train. This would assist in helping to get rid of all that offset you have to do on a bike when trying build it with the larger (230/250) tires you are now seeing. That’s all from Charlotte.
— Paul
TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO’S HAD ENOUGH–Learn to work the toilet lid. If it’s up put it down. I’ve seen far more women unable to put the lid down than men who can’t put the seat down.
If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us. We refuse to answer.
If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
Sometimes, we’re not thinking about you. Live with it. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Shopping is not a sport, and no, we’re never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, really.You have enough clothes.You have too many shoes.
Crying is blackmail.
Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we’d be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor, or vote to have prostitution legalized again.
Check your oil.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days.If something we said could be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
Let us ogle. We’re going to look anyway; it’s genetic.
You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something but not both.
Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
If we ask what’s wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you’re lying, but it’s just not worth the hassle.
And what the hell is a doily?
QUANTUM UPDATE–On Jan. 22, I went to a hearing for American Quantum Cycles inOrlando, Fla.I asked the judge if anyone was working on getting W-2 forms to employees. Hetold the attorney representing Quantum to find out and inform me.On Jan. 26, the attorney called me and said it was being handled andthat it should be done in the next 10 days. If, for some reason, this does nothappen, I am to get back to him.
–ROGUE
CARIBBEAN REPORT– A good friend brought us four crates full of old Easyriders, Outlaw Biker,Hot Bike, etc. Wow! A few years change everything. In one of themags, Sonny Barger is just opening his shop in Oakland and HA iscelebrating its 39th birthday. Anyway, looking at all those now-old-school choppers gave us the bug. After a few phone calls, we found twoSportster choppers in pretty rough condition but the price was right. A ’71and ’72, Springer front ends, with all the trick stuff of the ’70’s. Weordered two Santee rigid frames from Chrome Specialties. Got a Jammer rigid for one of the Sportsters and went to work. We are still looking for engine-tranny combosfor the other bikes, like a 1974 Shovel. Will keep youposted on the progress. Anyway, most of the parts we are using are from thegreat sponsors in Bikernet, so there might be a connection here.
And now to the whazz up in the Caribbean:Hard Rock and Jack Daniels celebrated Jack’s birthday (you missed itBandit).About 100 bikes showed up to help get rid of all that whiskey, lots ofpassers-by (mostly tourists from the cruise ships) spent hours talking tothe bikers and checking out the bike scene in San Juan. We showed up in fullforce with around a dozen choppers rattling the cobblestone streets of oldSan Juan.
News of the Titan-ic Chapter 11 has reached our shores. A few weeks agothere were up to seven bikes for sale in the paper. Sudden trade-ins showed atthe shop, there’s hope to salvage the company and maybe a lesson learned.
Coamo, one of our big yearly rides, is coming up this Sunday.It’s a pretty cool run amid the mountains of the central mountain range,thousands of all brands of motorcycles show up, being this is the biggestmotorcycle concentration in the Caribbean.
The new clothing line Chopper Freak is already out. It’s designed and madein Puerto Rico by chopper riders. T-shirts, beanies, caps and trinkets.Maybe some time soon we will have some samples at Bikernet. We shipworldwide.
The wide tire fever is hitting the Harley owners here. Stock bikes with200, 230 and 250 are getting very popular. It’s great to see “factory”riders getting interested in something a bit more….wide?
Oh well…..the Mahi Mahi are biting, surf is huge and the shop isdraining any spare time I might have. Daytona and Indy are on the way, myPan chopper is waiting silently and there are not enough hours in the dayto do it all. Shit, ride while you can. At least we don’t get any snow……
–Saludos…….Jose
DUE TO THE HIGH– number of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, the city of Melbourne, Australia, opened the world’s first all- female parking lot. In a further effort to create a comfortable and safe atmosphere, even the attendants and security staff working the lot are all female.
IDIOTS ON PARADE–This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact thetelephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8 a.m.and 7 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller timewindow, the pleasant gentleman asked, “Would you like us to call youbefore we come?” I replied that I didn’t see how he would be able todo that, since our phones weren’t working. He also requested that wereport future outages by e-mail. (Does YOUR e-mail work without atelephone line?).
–IDIOTS AT WORK–I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerknoticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card.She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unlessthe card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it wasnecessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt.So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully comparedthe signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luckwould have it, they matched.
–Dani
AHDRA AND HARLEY-DAVIDSON ANNOUNCE NEW RELATIONSHIP–Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts Sponsors New All Harley Drag Racing Points Series
The Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts division of Harley-Davidson and the All Harley Drag Racing Association (AHDRA) recently announced the 2001 AHDRA presented by Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts series, a new drag racing points series designed to build excitement and increase the competition in 14 AHDRA quarter-mile classes.
The 2001 AHDRA presented by Screamin’ Eagle Performance Parts series will pay cash to the top ten plateholders in 14 specified classes, ranging from Top Fuel nitro-burning Harley racers to stock Sportster XL and Buell motorcycle racers.
“This is a dream come true for AHDRA,” says Marty Tharpe, owner of AHDRA. “Our ticket gate sales continue to grow at a rapid pace, which tells us we are delivering the type of excitement Harley-Davidson enthusiasts are looking for. These events are of great value to Harley-Davidson enthusiasts and racing fans, as well as Harley-Davidson dealers around the country. We’ve been raising the bar in appearance and professionalism through growth and the caliber of competition of our events.”
AHDRA Motorcycle Drag Racing Series 2001 Schedule
March 6-7 Biltho, Fla.
March 31 – April 1 Phoenix, Ariz.
April 21 – 22 Reynolds, Ga.
June 9 – 10 Norwalk, Ohio
June 16 – 17 Denver, Colo.
June 30 – July 1 Seattle, Wash.
July 7 – 8 Budds Creek, Md.
Aug. 11 – 12 Bristol, Tenn.
Aug. 19 Englishtown, N.J.
Sept. 8 – 9 Woodburn, Ore.
Sept. 29-30 Maple Grove, Penn.
Oct. 6 – 7 Rockingham, N.C.
Oct. 20 – 21 Las Vegas, Nev.>>
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