December 28, 2000

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH-MOVE CLOCKS BACK ONE WEEK-WE DIDN’T FINISH ALL WE SET OUT TO DO!

Hey,
Another year disappears over the horizon like a space shuttle trying to get the hell out of Dodge. Each year becomes more and more like a time trial. I set out each year with a handful of goals and generally reach each one just in time to formulate another set for the next year. Each year I learn a couple of things about people, business and myself, and forget a couple of dozen. This year was no different, and generally I’m damn proud of what my crew has accomplished. We’ve built a couple of bikes and rode them to Sturgis. We finally got “Orwell” published and it came out damn fine. With the help of the Digital Gangster, we’ve been able to adjust and augment the site to no end. We’ve started to develop a line of products and with the help of Ed Martin at Chrome Specialties we’ll have one helluva line of apparel in the near future. Soon we’ll be publishing e-books. We just took on another sponsor with the inclusion of Big Dog. We are now up to 10 major sponsors. Our goal is 20 non-competing sponsors, the finest in the industry.

We hope to bring our readers a comprehensive list of articles using the finest components. We don’t want every company in the industry on the site–just the best. Over the next couple of weeks we’ll evaluate the business side of Bikernet and decide the direction for next year. I want to thank the sponsoring companies who had the balls to step up to the plate and test our formula. It’s working and we have the hit counters to prove it.

I hope to write two books next year. One will be the beginning of a series of books about a flawed rider who loves to ride more than anything else on the planet. He’s a travelin’ man who can’t seem to settle down, bend to the rules or give up his code. As yet, no woman has ever understood his wandering nature and he can’t seem to find the one who will stick and understand, although some haunt him. The story line is taking shape in HORSE magazine.

With the assistance of Mike Lichter, we hope to finish my long-time project called “Badlands.” It is a series of hard-hitting interviews with veteran members of many of the most notorious clubs in the country. It’s designed to be a coffee table book adorned with Mike’s brilliant black and white photography. We have been planning a cross-country ride to finish the interviews. You’ll catch all the action here on Bikernet.

One more thought, though. While watching a film from the ’40s about a turn-of-the-century family, our stress level came pounding home. At one time there weren’t newspapers, radio, television, phones, faxes, Fed Ex, e-mail, etc. Yet we have the same number of hours in a day. No wonder there’s more general stress now than ever before –just to keep up with the junk mail. We’re also painfully aware that time is much more valuable than money. So this next year we’ll be working on the ideal formula for finding the time to do what we really love–ride, build bikes, write and enjoy the touch of a woman. The rest of the time, we’ll bust our butts to bring you the biker world as fast as it happens. Let’s get to the news:

TOURING CHOPPER FOR SALE OR TRADE FOR PICKUP– That’s correct. I’m selling the famous touring chopper so we can build a bigger shop for Bikernet creations and put my fat ass back into a pickup where I belong. Send offers with your truck flick to Bandit@bikernet.com.

BIKERNET SUPERBOWL BASH–At the Blue Cafe in downtown Long Beach, on the Promenade on Jan 28. Don’t miss it. Click on this to get all the inside info.You can download the invitation here.

QUANTUM REPORT– I attended the United States Bankruptcy Court hearing in Orlando, Fla., totry and find out what was happening in the American Quantum Cycle case (number 0008472-Ob1).

The matter has been turned over to the bankruptcy trustee, George E.Mills Jr., P.O. Box 690457, Orlando, Fla., 32860-0457

Barbara Cooney and I had our filled-out claim forms B10 (Official Form10)(4/98) with us and he took us to the ninth floor where the clerk’s officeaccepted and stamped our claim for monies owed us by American QuantumCycles.

The United States Bankruptcy Court Of Florida, Middle District is locatedat 135 W.Central Blvd., Orlando, Fla., 32801

Any one who is owed money from Quantum should notify the court and/or thetrustee.

The trustee did tell Barbara and me that Linda Condon was scheduled tonotify and send forms to all employees. I, for one, remember too many times thatLinda was supposed to do things and they did not get done. It is yourdecision. If you do not recieve this form in a timely manner and would liketo get paid any monies owed you, I suggest you take the responsibility to geta form, fill it out and see that it gets to the court.

The trustee told Barbara and me that money owed for wages, salaries, etc. would be a priority.

— ROGUE

LITTLE JOHNNY’S MOTHER–Little Johnny’s mother was cleaning one weekend and found this letter thathehad sent to Santa the previous year.

Dear Santa:

You must be surprised that I’m writing you today, the 26th of December.Well, I would very much like to clear up certain things that have occurredsince the beginning of the month.

I asked for a bicycle, an electric train set, a pair of roller blades and afootball uniform. I destroyed my brain studying the whole year. Not onlywasI the first in my class, but I had the best grades in the whole school!

I’m not going to lie to you Santa, there was no kid in the neighborhood thatbehaved better than me, with my parents, my brothers, my friends and withmyneighbors.

I would go on errands and even help the elderly cross the street. There wasvirtually nothing I wouldn’t do for humanity!

What balls you have leaving me a fucking yo-yo, a lame ass whistle and apairof socks! What the fuck were you thinking, you fat son of a bitch, thatyou’d taken me for a sucker the whole fucking year to come out with someshitlike this under the damn tree. As if you hadn’t fucked me enough, you gavethat little shithead across the street so many fucking toys that hecouldn’teven walk into his damn house!

Please don’t let me see you trying to fit your huge ass down my chimney nextyear! I’ll fuck you up! I’ll throw rocks at those corny reindeer of yoursand scare them away, so you’ll have to walk your big fat ass backtothe North Pole, just like I have to do since you didn’t get me that fuckingbike, you punk bastard!

You know what Santa? Fuck you!! Next year you’ll find out how bad I canreally fucking be!

So watch your back next year.Beeyaaaaatch!!!!!

Sincerely,
Johnny

BIG DOG RELEASES THE ALL-NEW BOXER–Every custom cruising rider wants a low slung, tight center of gravity chassis with a low profile. Big Dog is accomplishing exactly that with its new Daytec-framed Boxer for 2001. To top it off, the price is designed to surprise the market while creating a well handling sport cruiser with reduced vibration and excellent handling.

The Boxer is equipped with a 107-cubic-inch engine and features machined aluminum wheels, chrome lower legs and new billet triple trees with internal fork stops. The 2001 Boxer also gets a sporty 21-inch aluminum front wheel. For those rougher stretches of black top, Big Dog equipped the Boxer with Works rear shocks and a fat 160 rear tire.

MAN TEST

1. In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:

A. Lovemaking
B. Screwing
C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2. You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you’veboth shared:

A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
B. Your blood-test results.
C. Five tequila slammers.

3. You time your orgasm so that:

A. Your partner climaxes first.
B. You both climax simultaneously.
C. You don’t miss ESPN Sportscenter.

4. Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:

A. Healthy, creative love-play.
B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend needs to ever find outabout.

5. Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you just had sex with is:

A. The best part of the experience.
B. The second best part of the experience.
C. $100 extra.

6. Your girlfriend says she’s gained five pounds in the last month. Youtell her that it is:

A. No concern of yours.
B. Not a problem, she can join your gym.
C. A conservative estimate.

7. You think today’s sensitive, caring man is:

A. A myth
B. An oxymoron
C. A moron

8. Foreplay is to sex as:

A. Appetizer is to entree.
B. Primer is to paint.
C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9. Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying atthe end of a relationship?

A. “I hope we can still be friends.”
B. “I’m not in right now, please leave a message at the beep.”
C. “Welcome to Dumpsville – population: YOU.”

10. A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate:

A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sortofintimacy.
B. Is uptight and a waste of time.
C. Shouldn’t have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

If you answered “A” more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure youreally are a man.

If you answered “B” more than 7 times, check into therapy, you’re alittleconfused.

If you answered “C” more than 7 times, “YOU DA MAN”

COWBOY AND HIS HORSE–A bunch of Indians capture a cowboy named “Clint” andbring him back to their camp to meet the chief. Thechief says to Clint, “You going to die. But we sorryfor you, so give you one wish a day for three days.On sundown of third day, you die. What is first wish?”

Clint says, “I want to see my horse.” The Indians gethis horse. Clint grabs the horse’s ear and whisperssomething, then slaps the horse on the ass. The horsetakes off. Two hours later, the horse comes back witha naked blonde. She jumps off the horse and goes intothe teepee with Clint.

The Indians look at each other, figuring, “Typical whiteman – can only think of one thing.” The second day,the chief says, “What your wish today?”

Clint says, “I want to see my horse again.” The Indiansbring him his horse. Clint leans over to the horseand whispers something in the horse’s ear, then slapsit on the ass. Two hours later, the horse comes backwith a naked redhead. She gets off and goes in theteepee with the Clint. The Indians shake their heads,figuring, “Typical white man – going to die tomorrowand can only think of one thing.”

The last day comes and the chief says, “This your lastwish, white man. What you want?” Clint says, “I wantto see my horse again.” The Indians bring him his horse.Clint grabs the horse by both ears, twists them hardand yells, “Read my lips! POSSE, damn it! P-O-S-S-E!”

–Geno
HORSE magazine

STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS EXPIRES! ZEBRA RETURNS TO L.A.! Celebrating the end of the one-year statute of limitations on charges of operating a motor vehicle, in this case a motorcycle, in a manner which “greatly endangers the general public,” Special Agent Zebra has returned to Los Angeles from his posh residence in Miami Beach. He is said to be shagging a film producer in Beverly Hills and residing temporarily at her home until he can score a deal and make enough money to re-purchase his lavish estate in Bel Air.

“I’m glad to be back home. Now I can get this fuckin’ Website back on track and get Bandit sober. The lunatic is out of control. Last I heard he was affixing a supercharger to a fuckin’ Buell that burns straight jet fuel. Jesus, he’s gonna get us all thrown in the slammer. If the China Man doesn’t murder us first, of course. That could always happen. He’s a tricky devil to predict sometimes.”

Bikernet World Headquarters refused to comment on Zebra’s return, other than to say they will appeal charges filed against?the company in Miami Beach by the Miami Beach police alleging that Special Agent Zebra abducted a young Swedish supermodel named Lina on his departure and is hiding her somewhere in the greater Los Angeles area against the orders of the Swedish state department.

Bandit, who was reached by telephone at the dragstrip, was quoted as saying, “Jesus, that fucker is still alive?! What am I paying these people for, goddammit?! I could have bought a second blower with that money!”

Big Lucy, reporting for Special Agent Zebra
Bikernet.com East, Miami Beach

JUST TAKE A MINUTE– of your time to reflect on all the great times youhad last year.Lets do it again next year!

If you drink and drive, at the very least you won’t have a driver’s licenseto ride your bike next year…

–Gypsy Dan

PAUGHCO PRODUCT RELEASE — SWEDISH-STYLE CHOPPER FRAME

Check this out. Paughco, the industry’s oldest and most respected name inreproduction and custom accessories for Harley-Davidson motorcycles, has justintroduced what may be its most unique chassis to date. Identified as the”Swedish-style chopper” frame, the chassis’ long and tall styling addressesdemands of contemporary builders. The unique chassis features a full 10-inchstretch in the front downtubes, 4 inches in the backbone and a 45-degree neckrake. The new frame is available with a stock or extra wide rear section andaccepts applicable stock or wide swingarms, including the new super strongPaughco FXR swingarm. Stock or custom aftermarket FXR struts can be usedwhile the wide chassis requires the use of a custom rear fender. The newSwedish chopper frame is designed and manufactured to the same high-qualitystandards for fit, strength and reliability Paughco has built its reputationon for over three decades. If you’re after the latest in style andtechnology, Paughco’s Swedish chopper frame is on the cutting edge. Paughcocurrently manufactures over 800 replacement and custom frames for just aboutany year and model H-D. Prices start at $625. For complete details, see your local Paughco dealer or call(775) 246-5738. Or check the Internet at www.paughco.com.

NEW PRODUCT RELEASE FROM PAUGHCO – TRADITIONAL CHOPPER FENDERS

When it comes to building chopper parts, Paughco is second to none inexperience and variety. From the largest selection of custom frames in theindustry to a wide selection of nostalgic and replacement fenders, Paughcohas you covered. Shown here are three of the company’s traditional fendersthat custom builders have been using over the past four decades. The 5-by-42-inchflat chopper fender retails for $19 and is also available in 6- and7-inch widths. Paughco’s extended front fender, with bracket, measures 3-by-33 inches and is designed for Wide Glide 21-inch wheel applications. Full rearcoverage is provided by the skirted fender, which measures 9-by-35 inches. For fulldetails on the complete line of traditional chopper and custom replacementfenders from Paughco, call (775) 246-5738. Catch them on the Web at www.paughco.com or e-mail to info@paughco.com

“DRIVERS LICENSE AND REGISTRATION, PLEASE”–An elderly couple were driving across the country. The woman wasdriving when she got pulled over by the highway patrol.The officer said, “Ma’am did you know you were speeding?”

The woman turns to her husband and asked, “What did he say?”

The old man yelled, “He says you were speeding!”

The patrolman said, “May I see your licence?”

The woman turned toher husband and asked, “What did he say?”

The old man yelled, “He wantsto see your licence!” The woman gave him her licence.

The patrolman said, “I see you are from Arkansas. I spent some timethere once and went on a blind date with the ugliest woman I’ve everseen.”

The woman turned to her husband and asked, “What did he say?”

The old man yelled, “He thinks he knows you!”

HERE’S WISHINING ALL YOU GREASY BASTARDS–

Good Health, Tight Motors, and SmoothSailin thru the up comming year!Oh yeah, here’s a little somethin for all the Know-it-alls in the Bunch:(((((RACECAR))))spelled backwards is_______?

Rick & Mona

24 THINGS YOU’LL NEVER HEAR A WOMAN SAY–

1. You know, I’ve been complaining a lot lately, I don’t blame you for ignoring me.

2. The new girl in my office is a real beauty, and a stripper too, I invited her over for dinner on Friday.

3. Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl ? Good one!

4. While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and

missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they’ll still cover.

5. Bar food again!? Kick ass.

6. I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girlfriend has class.

7. That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I’m gonna go over and talk to her.

8. Let’s just leave the toilet seat “up” at all times, then we don’t have to mess with it anymore.

9. I’ve decided to buy myself a boob job. How big do you want ’em?

10. It’s only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.

11. Honey come here! Watch me do a Tequila Shot off of Stephanie’s bare butt!

12. I’m going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.

13. I’m so happy with my new hairstyle, I don’t think I’ll ever change it again.

14. Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and beer. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya’ big silly!

15. You are so much smarter than my father.

16. If we’re not going to have sex, then go ahead and watch football.

17. Are you sure you’ve had enough to drink?

18. I’ve decided to stop wearing clothes around the house.

19. You’re so sexy when you’re hung over.

20. I’d rather watch football and drink beer with you than go shopping.

21. Let’s subscribe to Hustler.

22. I’ll be out painting the house.

23. Do me a favor, forget the stupid Valentine’s Day thing and buy yourself something.

24. Look! My butt is bigger than yours!

SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT–

This story was sent to me today and I thought it wasworthy of forwarding to you at this time of year. Inlieu of sending out cards, I send this out to expressthe joy we all bring to each other.

##########################################

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw akid from my class was walking home from school. Hisname was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all ofhis books. I thought to myself, “Why would anyonebring home all his books on a Friday? He must reallybe a nerd.”

I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a footballgame with my friends tomorrow afternoon), so Ishrugged my shoulders and went on. As I was walking, Isaw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran athim, knocking all his books out of his arms andtripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasseswent flying, and I saw them land in the grass aboutten feet from him. He looked up and I saw thisterrible sadness in his eyes. My heart went out tohim. So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled aroundlooking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye.As I handed him his glasses, I said, “Those guys arejerks. They really should get lives.”

He looked at me and said, “Hey thanks!” There was abig smile on his face. It was one of those smiles thatshowed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books,and asked him where he lived. As it turned out, helived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen himbefore. He said he had gone to private school beforenow.

I would have never hung out with a private school kidbefore. We talked all the way home, and I carried hisbooks. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I askedhim if he wanted to play football on Saturday with meand my friends. He said yes. We hung out all weekendand the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him,and my friends thought the same of him.

Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the hugestack of books again. I stopped him and said, “Boy,you are gonna really build some serious muscles withthis pile of books everyday!” He just laughed andhanded me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became bestfriends. When we were seniors, we began to think aboutcollege. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was goingto Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, thatthe miles would never be a problem. He was going to bea doctor, and I was going for business on a footballscholarship.

Kyle was valedictorian of our class. I teased him allthe time about being a nerd. He had to prepare aspeech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn’t mehaving to get up there and speak. Graduation day, Isaw Kyle. He looked great. He was one of those guysthat really found himself during high school. Hefilled out and actually looked good in glasses. He hadmore dates than I had and all the girls loved him.Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of thosedays. I could see that he was nervous about hisspeech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, “Hey,big guy, you’ll be great!” He looked at me with one ofthose looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. “Thanks,” he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, andbegan. “Graduation is a time to thank those who helpedyou make it through those tough years. Your parents,your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach…butmostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you thatbeing a friend to someone is the best gift you cangive them. I am going to tell you a story.” I justlooked at my friend with disbelief as he told thestory of the first day we met. He had planned to killhimself over the weekend. He talked of how he hadcleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn’t have to doit later and was carrying his stuff home. He lookedhard at me and gave me a little smile. “Thankfully, Iwas saved. My friend saved me from doing theunspeakable.” I heard the gasp go through the crowd asthis handsome, popular boy told us all about hisweakest moment. I saw his mom and dad looking at meand smiling that same grateful smile. Not until thatmoment did I realize it’s depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. Withone small gesture you can change a person’s life. Forbetter or for worse. God puts us all in each other’slives to impact one another in some way. Look for Godin others.

–Gypsy

LAST SEPTEMBER– 29th, we threw a charity auction of 34 items, alldonated, that raised $51,000 as part of an overall $280,000 for the Lady RidersBreast Cancer Research Foundation. I was the auctioneer. I even auctionedoff “nothing” for $1,500!

The sponsoring organization, Rock River Chapter,Harley Owners Group (HOG), has only about 500 members and this was the sixthannual ride. Get details from Wisconsin Harley-Davidson of Oconomowoc, Wis., at (262) 569-8500.

–Jonathan Green

SIN WU, THANK YOU– for getting back to me so quickly. You guys are awesomethere at Bikernet. I ordered “Outlaw Justice” and “Orwell” yesterday, which wasDec. 20. Thanks for getting Bandit to sign them for me.Keep up the good work at Bikernet, I can’t function without it.

Oh, by theway, we are still freezing here in Oklahoma, but I managed to pull the FXRout for a ride today.

Happy Holidays to all at Bikernet
Aaron Pritchard


BUELL REPORT–

You can find this article and other Buell Material in the Buell Section.

The first picture is of the newest 2001 oil pump revision on the left and the older version used in ’98 through 2000 on the right. This is a running change. The part numbers are still the same.

The pickup opening at the bottom of the pump tower is larger/longer on the pump on the left for 2001. Also, H-D has changed the ports inside the pump body for better scavenging.One other way to identify the 2001 pump is the date code cast in the pump on the gasket surface area. The 2001 pump on the left has a “00” cast in the pump body. The older version has a “99” instead. The location of the date code pin area is on the flat gasket surface by the green fittng.

The CV carb picture shows the oil line fitting used as a fuel inlet. Thisfitting has a 1/8 NPT THD. The casting can be tapped without drilling as the hole is pretty close to tap drill size for a 1/8 NPT tap. Care must be given not to tap the threads too deeply. There is a step in the hole at the bottom of the inlet hole. Tap to just before the step. Be very careful when tapping and use a good tapping fluid doing this as the casting is very thin here and being in a hurry can fuck up a good carb.body.Doing this modification will allow for a 3/8 I.D. fuel line. That, along with a Pingel petcock, will provide plenty of fuel to the float bowl. The seat needs to be modified also for racing. This will be in another modification shown later on as it is pretty involved. You need to make a new needle and seat.Trock Cycle makes a really cool swivel fuel inlet fitting that presses inthe carb, replacing the stock plastic fitting. It rotates 360 degrees and canaccount for any non stock fuel line placement.More stuff later as time allows.

–Later, Paul

BIKERNET’S CYBER BIKE SHOW RESULTS–Here are the November results. December’s will be up in about a week or so. We’re in the process of designing some strange and unusual trophies for these builders. Plus they’ll be receiving prizes from Custom Chrome, Belt Drives Limited and Bikernet.

Click here to enter your bikes.

Vintage Chopper Winner
Randy Crandall
Newport Beach, Calif.

ProStreet Winner
Gary Kromrei
Lenore, Idaho

Sportster Winner
Edward Jauch
Spring Valley, Ill.

Vintage Winner
James Stevens
La Plata, Md.

Radical Custom Winner
Mike Pullin
Matthews, N.C.

MR. BANDIT, RIDER AND COSMIC BUELL BUILDER–First off, happy holidays to you and your crew and your lucky ladies. :)I understand you are very busy, but if you get a chance, would youconsider clickin’ on our new biker e-zine? Pour yourself a cup of tea andsit back in your rocker on one of those days when it’s too cold to go outback and work in the Bikernet shop. I ain’t justtrippin’; would really like your input.

–Pals, Wino Joe, USA

BANDIT– Enjoy the holidays! I will toast you on New Year’s with a tumbler of J/D Black!

–Ride fast,Anson


–A THOUGHT FOR THE SEASON–People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered. Forgive themanyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kindanyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some trueenemies.Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you. Be honest and frankanyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight. Buildanyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough.Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God.It was never between you and them anyway.

-written by Mother Teresa

TWO SISTERS– Two sisters, one blond and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. The brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their last $600 out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale. Upon leaving, she tells her sister, “When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’ll contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.”

The brunette arrives at the man’s ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office and says, “I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

The telegraph operator explains that he’ll be glad to help her, then adds, “It’s just 99 cents a word.” Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She realizes that she’ll only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods and says, “I want you to send her the word, ‘comfortable.'”

The telegraph operator shakes his head. “How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable?'”

The brunette explains, “My sister’s blond. She’ll read it slow.” (“com-for-da-bul”).

AFTER THAT JOKE–I better get the hell out of here. Christmas was a whirlwind. Out of the Dark Haired One’s bed at the crack of Santa to ride with the boys to the Queen Mary for breakfast. Not sure I would recommend Jack Daniels for breakfast after tequila shooters the night before. Then I had to be back at the pad for Christmas with Sin Wu. I could have stayed right there for the rest of my life, er, I mean the day, but mom was calling, so I parked the Blue Flame and loaded the Buell soft bags for the ride along the harbor to a small island for dinner. After dinner, I rode back to Pedro for a late-night rendezvous and more Christmas cheer. I must have been a good kid last year, Santa gave me way more than I deserved.

So hang on for the first, another red hot year of life in the fast lane. Life couldn’t get much better for us bikers. Just remember, don’t ride faster than your guardian angel can fly, live beneath your means, live each day like there won’t be a tomorrow and fuck anybody who doesn’t like it. Let’s ride–Bandit.

Please follow and like us:
Pin Share
Scroll to Top