This is ridiculous. We’ve got so much shit flyin’ we don’t know which way to turn. Perhaps I should just go out to the Bikernet garage…
and fire up the ’48 and let her warm up. Since we slipped new pistons in it, I’m trying to break it in nice and easy. With the dual Mikunis and an automatic advance distributor she fired first kick, although I fucked up the timing the first time around. Then for some reason the points quit on me. I replaced the coil. Nothing. Then the condensor. Nothing. Finally, I cleaned and sanded the points and it came right back to life. I have a feeling that this old 61-inch tramp is going to run like smooth sex.
We’ve kicked off a link program and will be posting links to biker rights organizations, our sponsors, our advertisers and whoever the fuck I choose. It should be a quick reference guide, if you need to reach someone fast.
The Bike Show area is undergoing some tweaking, but will be flying soon. It’s up to me to design some cool trophies (with the image below). We have something in mind that will double as a point cover, or you can hang it on the wall with all your other trophies. We have also added a couple classes to the mix to spread the wealth. Sure, there will be the standard Radical Class (anything with a custom or modified frame); Street Custom (anything with a stock un-modified chassis), Vintage Chopper (rigids and old chops), Pro-Street (street race scoots), Competition (serious racers); Sportster; Rat and a Ridden Class (any guy who wants to boost his mileage). Did I leave anything out? Let me know if I did. It will be free to enter.
Okay, what else? The Buell is minus the air box, which is making me twitch, I need to go for a ride. I’m waiting on a Screamin’ Eagle air box for the carb. We’ve kicked off a portion on the site dedicated to Buell modifications (Buell Report). You can check there for info from other enthusiasts and I will post any goddamn thing I do to that bike. We might discover that there’s a hidden outlaw in the H-D line-up and it’s called a Buell. Keep in mind that Buells are basically FXRs turned upside down with a high-performance Sportster engine slapped into them. Watch and see what happens. The Blue Flame should be back in the garage for the Love Ride. I’ll be working on the tank tech next week. Oh, and don’t forget: The 1946 Indian is still for sale (bandit@bikernet.com). Send me an e-mail if you have a suitcase fulla cash.
Fuck it, let’s get to the news:
QUANTUM CYCLES UPDATE–The gates are locked and every one is laid off pending the outcome of acourt hearing on Chapter 11.The people from Canada wanted to buy it and started the merger but found allkinds of fucked-up things.They had Hagen and Irving resign and were all set togo ahead when Jeff Starke threw a monkey wrench into the deal by tellingFeuling a bunch of shit and trying to make a side deal with him as some money was still owed on buying the patent for the 4-Valve heads.
This is the same guy who made American Motor Works go belly up and oweseveryone money. He’s been to court for not paying or violating contracts witheveryone he did business with since he moved here from South Florida. Owesme, Smitty and a bunch of other people money too.
We are all hoping that the new guys get it and we all can get back towork. I am doing side jobs for now. Need to call Keith Ruxton and see how heis making out. He just moved all of his stuff here but don’t think he and Chrishave bought a house yet. A lot of people fucked by this. I will keep you advised as best I can.–Rogue
CYRIL HUZE ULTIMATE CUSTOMS– has just launched a new catalog. If you’re a builder and want to explore a completely different line of products, get one of Cyril’s catalogs. It’s packed with products that look like nothing else on the planet. Cyril is a designer from way back and knows what he wants from his products. (Click on his banner for more info) He demands originality and gets it. Here’s one of his own rides.
DRINKS AND YOUR PERSONALITY– Seven New York City bartenders were asked if they could nail a woman’s personality based on what she drinks. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:
Drink: Beer Personality: Casual, low-maintenance; down-to-earth. Your Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.
Drink: Blender Drinks Personality: Flaky, whiny, annoying; a pain in the buttocks. Your Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabana boy.
Drink: Mixed Drinks Personality: Older, more refined, high maintenance, has very pickytaste; knows exactly what she wants. Your Approach: You won’t have to approach her, if she is interested,she’ll send YOU a drink.
Drink: Wine – (does not include White Zinfandel, see below) Personality: Conservative and classy; sophisticated yet giggles. Your Approach: Tell her you love to travel and spend quiet evenings with friends.
Drink: White Zin Personality: Easy; thinks she is classy and sophisticated, actually hasno clue. Your approach: Make her feel smarter than she is … this should be aneasy target.
Drink: Shots Personality: Likes to hang with frat-boy pals and looking to get totally drunk … and naked. Your Approach: Easiest hit in the joint. You have been blessed thisevening. Nothing to do but wait. However, be careful not to make her mad!
Drink: Tequila: No explanations required-everyone just KNOWS what happens there.
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT ON BIKETOBERFEST– Hey guys, just got back from Biketoberfest. Once more the traffic andpandemonium got the best of us. All ran strangely smooth, the planes, theshipping, the hotel reservations, etc. As soon as we rolled in, our bikeswere there, nice weather hung over the coast and a quick drive from Jacksonville landed us in the center of Daytona action.
We passed bysome of the booths and said hi to friendsbefore the mayhem of the weekend started, before the pacing walk became amad dash for life. I needed to catch a few hours of sleep before theconstant wacking of drag pipes became unbearable, with rubbies left andright twisting the infernal throttle, “wack ,wack, lookatmee,lookatmee…!”
My girlfriend’s chopper was ready, cool and waiting to be broken in. Some 6inches of stretch, 42 degree rake, kandy green and a 1200 Sportster motor,cool, light and brand spankin’new. Had my new chopper waiting also, black, 10 inches over,47 degrees, Panhead from STD and rigid….. We put some miles in them,limited might I add, but easy, helmetless miles.
As the week went on, things started to get busy. Seems there is notenough time to do all, or even little, crowds, traffic and a hellish timetrying to go from one place to another, meeting here, Rats Hole, Boardwalkshow, dinner, meeting, ride, checking out the endless vendors, ride,dinner, meeting, bars, trying to sleep. They all connect ,everythinghappening at the same time, not having time to do all, finally to hell withall and try to relax, getting almost nothing done.
Thanks to the Volusia County Sheriffs Department, we spent two of thoseprecious hours being interrogated as bike thieves. The story goes likethis:A friend of mine from PR moved to Texas and left his bike in my shop forsafekeeping until he could ship it to Texas. Since my trailer was going toFlorida, I offered to take it as long as he picked up the bike in Daytona,cool.
He shows up with a U-haul and we get on the hotel courtesy van to pick upthe bike at the trailer lot. A cop saw the U-haul and felt that he was up tono good. When we saw the now-Texas residents being pulled over by thesheriff, I pulled the van over and asked what was happening. There and thenmy rights went fliying out the door. He asked me for ID and asked me to corroborate the story. I’m cooperating as much aspossible ’cause I want to get the fuck out of there, before they findsomething, or make it up. Then the Volusia stolen bike task forcechief shows up and we have five cops against four guys that just want to get thehell out of there. Then, another deputy notices my friend’s “Support yourlocal Red & White Orange County” sticker and really starts giving us dirty looks. Lucky he doesn’t know jack shit about the HA. Finally, I ask him to follow us to the trailer and check the fucking VINnumbers so he can feel he did his duty. He went into the trailer, mag light in handand proceeded to check the bikes. I wasso happy to see that dude leave us alone.
On the bright side: Jesse James had some killer chops, Dirty Harry and theBank were never crowded, we got to ride around without the mega crowds ofBike Week. First time ever in Main Street with no helmet, missed all theshows, came back with three killer choppers. I got my book signed by Sonnyand everyone was unhurt in our crowd. And by the way, had a very stokedgirlfriend…
See ya soon……Jose
I WAS THINKING ABOUT YOUR– Buell project and it rattled my brain some. What’s left, anyway? Rick, who is in charge of R&D at Titan, had a Buell S2like mine. He cut up a rejected Thunder Header and used just muffler parts. He made an adapter for it to fit the stock Buell header pipe. The sound was more like a Sportster or Big Twin than a Buell. This may be something to look into.
KT products makes a very loud pipe. Also Force One in Lake Havasu, Ariz., makes a good pipe using the reverse megaphone technology. Also a guttedBuell muffler (Race Type) sounds really fine.
This is the force airbreather setup for the Buell.The Website was forceusa.com but it is unavailable now.
VANCIL FLIPS FOR TROPHY IN VEGAS–Doug Vancil brought home the trophy from the JIMS Las Vegas Nationals at “The Strip” at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. But he only took home half the purse.
Vancil’s best qualifying pass on the Vance & Hines/Drag Specialties Top Fueler was 6.91 ET at 210 earning him ninth on the 16-bike ladder out of 29 teams. “The clutch was slipping in qualifying but the early numbers were good. Sunday morning in the first round, we won over Bill Furr of Orangeburg, S.C., running a 6.71 ET at 205.10 in the 1/8 mile but the wind was terrible. AHDRA officials decided to change to the 1/8 mile for safety reasons. It was a good decision.”
Round two, Vancil won over Jim McClure of Williamsburg, Va., running the 1/8th in 4.29 ET as McClure spun the tire. In the semi-finals, it was Vancil over San Antonio, Texan Mark Conner. But the weather went from bad to worse, with rain halting the show and no sign of reprieve.
Vancil was slated to match up against Canadian National champion Ron Houniet in the final. Houniet came to the last round running a 4.37 ET. Vancil said: “I don’t think that I’ve ever run Ron before, it looked to be a good race but oh, well what are you going to do?” The decision was made to call the race a draw and split the money. But what about the JIMS Vegas trophy? The two racers flipped a Canadian coin. “Ron said it was a loon coin. It was OK with me. I won the toss, so I got the trophy.”
The Vancils are proudly supported by Vance & Hines, Drag Specialties, Performance Machine, K & N, PJ 1, B & J Transmission, & Axtell.
Don’t forget to watch IHRA on TNN on Sunday nights at 10:30 pm EST.
THE LATEST HORSE MAGAZINE–Sports a cover with our own Rourke and the Silver Slut scoring center stage. Hell, there’s a tech on the Blue Flame, a story of my sordid past and fiction from… Well, it’s too bizarre to mention. Check it out.
SSSHHHH! NEWS FLASH!–“Asphalt Cowboy,” the screenplay based on one of Bandit’s book outlines, is inching closer to production. Yeah, that’s right. All the different elements seem to be coming together. I would like to elaborate, but deals are in the works. Any leak of information could hamstring production and put us back at square one at any moment. So cross your fingers and hold your breath and maybe, just maybe, film will be rolling as early as the start of the New Year. We’ll let you know what’s up as soon as we can. –Conrad
PALM SPRINGS BIKE WEEK–What was purportedly to be a bust, a bike show shifting to cars was a hit from all accounts. For me, it was a search for the face in the photo above. She’s Kendra Roth, once an employee with CCI and a recent recipient of a shapely boob job. I couldn’t find her. If anyone else spotted her, let me know. Now here’s the skinny on the Blackjack Shootout–Bandit:The 21 or Bust – Blackjack Shootout, held Oct. 15, was a huge successby all standards, according to run organizer Fred Pascarelli. We are intoArizona’s prime riding season and the temperature was in the mid 80s. Over 500Arizona bikers were in attendance at the first-ever event. There were evensome bikers from Germany who turned out for the event as part of their holidayin the southwestern United States.
The event, put on by a small group of independent bikers, treated attendees tothe sounds of nationally known country band Duane Moore and Mogollon, who playedsome fine bike rock and blues to boot. Inside Yolanda’s Chuckwagon was a greatDJ, some excellent karaoke singers and some 21 dealers that wowed the crowd.
Outside on the main stage, the fake orgasm contest was more than we had everhoped for with the crowd vote determining the winner. The 50/50 ticket sellersentertained everyone from the band to the security to the crowd and the BudGirls were awesome as they took pictures with event attendees and passed out Budand BudLight mementos.
As for the award winners:Two Florence food banks will split $802 from the 50/50 and extra 21 hand sales.
According to run organizer Fred Pascarelli, “gate receipts did not cover ourcosts associated with putting on the event.” However, even with costs exceedingreceipts, Fred and Jayne are making donations of $500 to the American HeartAssociation and $500 to the American Diabetes Foundation on behalf of the 21 orBust Blackjack Shootout.
50/50 Winners:
* Mike Mullarkie pocketed $650
* Joann Strand, second prize winner in the 50/50, took home a pair of diamondearrings valued at over $600.
* Logan of Logan’s Valley Motorcycle won the third prize in the 50/50, a $300Harley-Davidson Willie G. leather jacket.
Blackjack Shootout Winners
* Dennis Beye won the trip to the 2001 Laughlin River Run and $150 cash.
* Linda Pinkerton won secnd place in the Blackjack Shootout and $150 for her skillat picking cards.
Fake Orgasm Winners:* Here everyone was a winner as the contest was a huge success
* Shawna Davis won first place and a trip for two to Laughlin.
* Second place and $50 went to “Spaz”
A first round of run pictures is currently available on the 21 or Bust Website,http://www.21-or-bust.com.
For more information, contactFred Pascarelli at(480) 759-2218
MY DAMN PICTURE– is showing up more on your site thanmy own. I suppose you still can’t recognize one of yourown highly paid writing staff. That would be me givingthe one finger salute in last week’s news.
My snowbird flight from north to south(west) was kick-ass as usual, the highlight being riding the NatchezTrace. If anyone ever finds themselves in Tennessee,the Trace is a must ride. Especially the first 100 milessouth of Nashville. Winding through the hills, this slabof asphalt has the curves of a centerfold and is smoothas French silk. I’m not talkin’ curves to challenge theBuell riding canyon racers. The sweeping radius on thisroad is one after the other and it makes you feel as if you’reno longer connected to the ground, just floating. Iguarantee you will be smiling. The Trace is limitedaccess, like a two-lane expressway, and no commercialtraffic is allowed. I rode it for two days and saw nomore than a dozen other vehicles. No semis, no towns,no crossroads, just you and the long winding road. Thisis motorcycle Disneyland. It just gets better. I wasblessed with radiant blue sky, T-shirt temps and treespainted with autumn color. How did I get to be such alucky bastard?
Now, you may be asking “whatdafuck is a NatchezTrace?” First it was an Indian trail, then it was a routenorth for Mississippi barge runners. They would floattheir barges of goods down river, then with no way togo back up stream they would sell the wooden floats forlumber and walk home. There are many places alongthe road where you can stop and see the well-worn paththrough the woods, still there after all these years. Nowit is a national parkway running from Nashville toNatchez, Miss. It is definitely on my top 10 list ofroads in this country.
Another note, or maybe I should call it a warning. As Iwas riding through this part of the world, I saw onepolitical ad after another about the increased deaths ofmotorcycle riders in Louisiana since their helmet lawrepeal. They are pushing hard to reinstate the law. I’msure that a closer look at the statistics would reveal thetruth. Like maybe there was a huge increase in ridersduring this same period? So OZ, is there anything wecan do to help stop this from happening?
The second highlight was a visit to Tombstone, Ariz. Yes, it is a tourist trap, but it is the most original andauthentic wild west town I’ve been in. As you passunder the covered store fronts, your boots echo thesounds of yesteryear on the boardwalk. You can almostsmell the black powder in the air and feel the six-shootertied to your leg. To complete the effect, when you arriveat the Crystal Palace Saloon, saunter up to the building-length bar and bark out “whiskey!”
Then suddenly thesoft voice of Debra, a beautiful young freelancephotographer, snaps you from your daydream, “Youhave just the tall rugged look I’ve been waiting for. Could I ask you to……..”
I’m such a lucky bastard!
–FTW,Stroker
LEARN CHINESE IN 5 MINUTES–
English: He’s cleaning his automobile
Chinese: Wa Shing Ka
English: This is a tow away zone
Chinese: No Pah King
English: Is there a fugitive here?
Chinese: Hu Yu Hai Ding?
English: Small Horse
Chinese: Tai Ni Po Ni
English: Your price is too high!!!
Chinese: No Bai Nut Ding!!!
English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese: Wai Yu So Tan?
English: I bumped into a coffee table
Chinese: Ai Bang Mai Ni
English: It’s very dark in here
Chinese: Wai So Dim?
English: Has your flight been delayed?
Chinese: Hao Long Wei Ting?
English: I thought you were on a diet?
Chinese: Wai Yu Mun Ching?
English: They have arrived
Chinese: Hai Dei Kum
English: Your body odor is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Pu
English: You know lyrics to the Macarena?
Chinese: Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?
English: I got this for free
Chinese: Ai No Pei
English: Stay out of sight
Chinese: Lei Lo
English: Phew! Does this bathroom stink!
Chinese: Hu Flung Dung?
–Michael Walch
MYSTERY SLED–Thebike was custom-built at Strokers plus in Sabattus, Maine. The motor is a 113-inch S&S with branch head work, crane hi-4 ignition, headquarters bumpstick, S&S carb and E.M.C blower. Bike makes some serious H.P. Baker 6-speed trans, 200 series rear tire and Chopper Guys chassis. The paint work was done by East Coast and features checkered flag with ripped purple paint (House of Kolor). lowbikes@aol.com.
Yeah, so why is it here?–Bandit
BIKERNET CONSPIRACY INVESTIGATION– What’s that,putting a rev limiter under someone’s seat (Zebra’s Scoot, from his account of the Sturgis 2000 run from the East)? That’s why I’m not trusting someone over 50 years of age from San Pedro! You Sly Dog! He, he, he, he.–Thomas Brown
I’m innocent, I tell ya.–Bandit
ULTRA WIDE ONE– Here’s one of Ultra’s new models. The first company of this type to build reasonably priced rigid framed models, Ultra continues to build a complete line of Softail and rubbermount models.
This is the Wide One: A classic with a twist, this sporty cruiser gets better every year. It’s loaded with new features for 2001: Chrome inverted front end; smooth gas shocks; new ultra-comfortable passenger saddle; precision machined fender struts and an all-new chassis for 2001. All bikes come with full custom paint schemes. For more info, go to www.ultracycles.com.
WE WERE WONDERING– FOR MORE INFORMATION CONTACT US: www.chopper.ite-mail: info@chopper.it. WE WOULD BE GRATEFUL TO HAVE A PLACE ON YOUR WEB SITE ABOUT THE SHOW.THANK YOU. “Francesco Agnoletto” NEWS BRIEFS–Biketoberfest has been a horror this year – LOTS of deaths. Very scary! Oh, and did you hear about Lauren Hutton going off the road on her motorcycle in Vegas? Dangerous days, I guess! –Sundance BIKERTRASH.COM– Biker Internet Magazine published since 1997. I had been looking for a publication that wasn’t afraid or too pussy whipped too publish my adventures revolving mostly around the Outlaw Club, 1%ers, patches.I am trash and honor my brothers. I live, breathe and devoted my life to the old- school way. Bikertrash.com not only had no problem with my “friends” and doesn’t fuck with my way/style of expressing myself. Yeah, he edits some, but not really that much and never changes the meaning of whatever it is I’m trying to get across to my readers. I really enjoyed your site and would love to be one of your contributing biker news bitches. Perhaps even a column page set up for a fictional reporter written by me with the pen name……….humm lets see…Biker Bobbi (this is one mean, bad-ass, knock-down, give-ya-a-hard on- within-seconds-of-looking-at-her bitch). She could be at events and write about what she REALLY sees/hears. Could be trouble for ya. If ya got Biker Magazine, September issue, number 186, flip to pages 44 and 45. Feature story “BB DOES RUBY” with semi nude photo’s…yeah that’s right, it’s me in the flesh. I wrote about how I stripped in Keystone last year (1999) during Sturgis in a place called The Rubby House. –BB LOVE RIDE NOVEMBER 12, 2000– Visit http://www.loveride.org for details and event schedules. THE PRESIDENT– The President and Mrs. Clinton are in the front row at a Yankees game. The row behind them is taken up with secret service agents. One of them leans over and whispers in the President’s ear. Mr. Clinton pauses, then grabs Hillary by the scruff of the neck and heaves her over the railing. She falls 10 feet to the top of the dug out, kicking and screaming obscenities. The President shakes hands of those near him and gets “high five’s”. The secret service agent leans over again and whispers, “Mr. President, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!” MY NAME IS DEAN LAMAR– and I am the Internet marketing director for Gettysburg Financial Inc. We specialize in financing custom cycles, exotic/classic and sports cars. Balloon finance specialists Please visit our Website at For more information and a custom quote, please contact us at (954) 786-2642 or DEVIL DOLLS NEW CALENDAR–No, this is not a shot from the Bastard Babes from Frisco’s new calendar. This is a shot of the president, Goth Girl and the babe, who will come to your home and kick your ass if you don’t buy a calendar. Here’s a note from the pres: “If the frickin’ mail delivers your Devil Doll 2001 calendar, you can scan whatever you want from that.” As far as news, we are announcing our big Frisco bash on Dec. 1 at the groovy niteclub Double Play to celebrate the 2001 calendar release. It will begin at 7 p.m. and go til we say “enough.” More enticing info and threats can be found on our events page on our Website www.devildolls.com I will be going to Denver on Thursday afternoon until Sunday evening for work. Hopefully, I will not be kidnapped by any rival gangs…he he. OK, masked man. Let me know when that damn calendar arrives. –GOTHGIRL,your Doll LITTLE KNOWN FACTS–The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; “7” was selected becausetheoriginal containers were 7 ounces. “UP” indicated the direction ofthebubbles. Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They hide you. The spray blocksthemosquito’s sensors, so they don’t know you’re there. Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feetawayfrom a toilet, to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush. The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as substitute for blood. That’s all ya get this week. Pop quiz later. SPORT CRUISER– Takes Cruiser Performance to a New, Higher Level WithRefinements for 2001. A year ago, Victory Motorcycles rewrote the book on cruiser motorcycle performance with the introduction of its phenomenal V92SC Sport Cruiser. “It delivered such outstanding handling and braking that it established a newtype of motorcycle not a sport bike, not merely a cruiser, but aSport Cruiser.” Check the Victory Website for all the hot new innovations. BOUDREAUX AND THIBODAUX– Boudreaux and Thibodaux were walking down a country road when they came upon a young woman with a flat on her bicycle. Boudreaux stopped to help her with the flat and Thibodaux continued on down the road. Awhile later Boudreaux came riding up on the bike and Thibodaux asked him what happened. “Well,” said Boudreaux, “I stopped and fixed de flat for dat chick and after I did dat, she took off her panties, lay down in de grass and told me to take whatever I wanted. I chose dis bicycle.” Thibodaux said, “My friend, you did just the right thing, cause dem panties probably wouldn’t fit you anyway”. THERE YOU HAVE IT–That’s all I can handle. I know I forgot something, but what the hell. Chew me out, point out my mistakes. I don’t care. As soon as the news is packed in, I pack it in for the week. Yeah, right. I’ll be back at it tomorrow, for awhile, but then it’s Jack Daniels, screwing with the bikes in the garage and chasin’ ever-lovin’ women. Which reminds me, keep sending in the shots. There are valuable prizes waiting for the most outrageous riding shots to melt Kodak paper. A buddy stopped by just after Sin Wu scooted out the back door after lunch, and we blathered on about bikes and broads. We chatted about life and its ups and downs and came to the conclusion that as bikers, we have the world by the tail. We’ve had one helluva run, and as long as there are bikes, women and streets to ride on, the adventure continues. So don’t let the bastards get you down, ever. Get out and ride, and if your woman is giving you grief, hell there’s plenty where the last one came from. On the other hand, don’t blow a good thing if you can help it. Fuck, we’re burnin’ daylight, let’s ride–Bandit.
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