HAPPY MOTHERS DAY SUNDAY POST–Bandit is on his way home from the Smoke Out West, but not quick enough to do the Sunday Post for you, so you get it from me. As usual, it will be small but fun.
Bandit left on Thursday, right after he finished editing the News. Usually I party while he?s away, but this time I decided to do some spring cleaning. Whenever I want to deep clean, I pull things out and spread them all over the place all day. It doesn?t sound like it makes sense to thrash to clean, but that?s how it works for me. When Bandit is home, he follows behind me putting things away faster than I can pull them out. Yesterday the Headquarters looked like a tornado hit it. Today the hardwood floors sparkle like glass, the linen closet is totally organized, kittens are clean and living room rearranged… Life is good.
Do I miss him? Yes, I do but I could sure use one more day to wreck this place. Oh well. I?ll wrap up this Sunday Post and see what else I can dig in to before he gets home?
I’m back in the headquarters. I build and collect motorcycles, she collects vacuum cleaners. I keep threatening to build a display. She bought a new one while I was away–space age bastard. Her excuse–Mother’s Day. Let’s hit the news:
BIKERNET MEDICAL CENTER SWINE FLU ALERT– I’m passing this along in the public interest. Read, heed and learn! IMPORTANT NOTICE
RE: SWINE FLU As you were advised through earlier Department advisory letter there is a distinct possibility of an outbreak and epidemic of Swine Flu in this country.
To facilitate identification and in order that you may be on the alert for indications that you or members of your family may have contracted the virus, you should be aware of the following symptoms;
1. Sore throat
2. Persistent slight headache
3. Nausea or upset stomach
4. Uncontrollable urge to fuck in the mud
The spirit of ‘Ace’ goes westward ho!– Ace Cafe London is assisting in the supporting, promoting and sponsoring of an inaugural, and what we trust will become an annual SLO Classic Motorcycle Rally, to be held over the weekend of 8th – 11th October 2009 in San Luis Obispo, California, of which, this years beneficiary is the American Cancer Society.
The event will offer the chance to see a unique bike – the actual World’s fastest Indian, and meet special guests, to include Craig Vetter and his machines, as well as fun local rides, motorcycle concourse, riding challenges, classic trials, live music and barbeque.
Starting on Thursday evening 8th October with a road closure in SLO town centre, for the parking of classic motorcycles, at the world famous SLO Farmers Market, with a fun ride on Friday 9th, which culminates in a welcoming party and Bar-B-Q at Avila Beach.
Saturday 10th October, ride to the ‘Main Event’ which will feature a motorcycle concourse, bike riding contests with awards and prizes, bike vendors and a classic motorcycle swap meet, rounded off by the Ace Cafe London Mods & Rockers themed party, with live rock n’ roll music.
Sunday 11th October, rev up for a ‘send off’ back road ride out and lunch to the famous Pozo Saloon that was established in 1858.
More information and updates about the event can be found at: www.centralcoastclassicmc.com –LINDA WILSMORE They Walk Among Us–And they vote, too.
Ace Cafe London
Tel: ++44 (0)20 8961 1000
Fax: ++44 (0)20 8965 0161
Website: www.ace-cafe-london.com
Ace Cafe London
Ace Corner
North Circular Road
Stonebridge
London
NW10 7UD 
Melted rubber, burning fire, put the hurt to the rear tire! BAKER Drivetrain Announces ?BAKER Drivetrain 2009 Burnout Drags!?– (Sturgis, SD) BAKER, a name known for unapologetically innovating, top-end premium drivetrain components in the American Big Twin industry, wants to bring riotous FIRE and rubber-burning FURY to the 2009 Sturgis Rally with its 2nd Annual Baker Burnout Drags Competition. Everyone knows burnouts are already primal and wrathful, but pair 12 of the world?s top custom bike builders in a head-to-head, no-holds-barred, tournament-style drag race competition and watch the high-octane drama unfold before your very eyes. The unbridled mayhem will be unleashed Friday, August 7th at the in the main amphitheater at the Legendary Buffalo Chip, with the support of BAKER Drivetrain, The Legendary Buffalo Chip and Spectro Oils.
After the success of the inaugural 2008 Burnout Drags Competition, BAKER and the Legendary Buffalo Chip are excited to bring the high-speed, adrenaline-pumping action back to the 2009 rally. Attendees can watch the fearless builders pair off and race head to head, each vying to steal the Burnout Drags Champion title from 2008 winner Bill Dodge of Bling?s Cycles. The rules are simple ? contestants will compete in one-on-one heats and the first to shift to fifth gear while burning out the rear wheel will be declared the winner of that heat. Two judges for each custom bike will count the shifts and display the score in real time. The last builder standing wins great BAKER products and will be featured in a high-profile BAKER Drivetrain advertisement.
A contest for onlookers will be held prior to the competition. Each of the eight custom bikes in the contest will have a ballot box next to it, and from 7 pm to10 pm the day of the contest, audience members can vote for what they believe will be the winning bike. When the BAKER Drivetrain Burnout Drags winner is determined, he will draw a name from his ballot box to see which lucky audience member will win premium BAKER merchandise. So be sure to come early and scope out the competition and see if you can calculate the winning formula. Is it the bike weight, tire size, tire tread pattern, tire age, horsepower, transmission/pulley/sprocket gearing, transmission shift pattern, rider talent, or luck? Just give us your best guess and sit back and watch the rubber burn.
For more information on the 2nd Annual Baker Burnout Drags Competition at the Legendary Buffalo Chip, visit www.bakerdrivetrain.com/burnoutdrags
Yaffterburner Slider Covers– WOW!! That’s what everybody says the first time they lay their eyes on these badass fork covers. Paul’s Yafterburner exhaust tips have been a huge success! Now you can carry that awesome styling forward to your forks as well.
Add a set of these to your front end and you’ll have the most radical looking front fork in town! These bad boys are CNC machined from a solid block of 6061-T6 aluminum and the beautifully chrome plated or black anodized and accent machined.
They are an easy bolt on product that will dramatically change the look of your Bagger!
Part# – YSC-C / Chrome Fork Covers / Price: $399.95 pr.
Part# – YSC-B / Black w/ Accent Machine / Price: $399.95 pr.
Paul Yaffe Originals / Paul Yaffe’s Bagger Nation
2211 E Indian School Rd
Phoenix, Az 85016
Ph: 602.840.4205
Fax: 602.840.2569
www.paulyaffeoriginals.com
www.baggernation.com
New Aziere Art Release– I’m proud to introduce “The Launch” One of two paintings featuring The Drag Racing Great, “Chris Rivas”.
Rivas is sponsored by G2 Motorsports, Drag Specialties, S&S, and Buell V-Twin to name a few. His Crew Chief in 2008 George Smith. Chris with 4 Career wins, Career Best E.T. 6.923, Career Best Speed 192.19, is Nationally Ranked # 2. Chris also represents Racers for Christ. Drag Racing is one of my passions and I’m honored to be able to portray such a Great Driver.
This painting is a 24×31 Original Oil, available for $2500.00. A Limited Edition Giclee Print is available, print size is 24×31 for $250.00 or 18×25 for $150.00 , all of my Giclee prints are available on art paper or canvas. To purchase the Original or Print, just respond to this email, or phone me personally.
Stefanie Aziere-Sattler
Aziere Art
660-827-6790
660-221-7792
www.chromedimpressions.com
Buckcherry added to star-studded Buffalo Chip line-up– BUFFALO CHIP CAMPGROUND, SD ? California rockers, Buckcherry are the latest addition to the star-studded lineup at the Legendary Buffalo Chip Campground during the annual Sturgis Motorcycle Rally this summer.
Buckcherry will fill the Friday, Aug. 7, slot, joining Aerosmith and Saving Abel, (Wed. Aug. 5); Toby Keith and Lita Ford (Mon. Aug. 3); Cheech & Chong and Billy Squier, (Tues. Aug. 4); George Thorogood & The Destroyers and Creedence Clearwater Revisited, (Sunday, Aug. 2); and Hinder and Tesla (Thurs. Aug. 6). Buffalo Chip owner Rod Woodruff said more announcements are forthcoming.
?Buckcherry is one of the most popular rock bands in the world and we?re honored to have them help us fill what is turning out to be an historic line-up of first-class entertainment,? Woodruff said.
The Grammy-nominated band formed as Sparrow in 1995 in California. They cut two albums as Sparrow before dissolving and reuniting as Buckcherry in 2005. Their album, ?15? was released in 2006 and contained the hit ?Crazy Bitch? which was their first top 10 hit. 15 climbed the charts and was certified Platinum.
Black Butterfly, their current album, has already reached Gold status, producing three hits, ?Too Drunk?,? ?Don?t Go Away,? and ?Rescue Me.?
The band is known for its go-for-the-throat stage performances featuring frontman Josh Todd and the ripping guitar work of Keith Nelson.
?The bar?s been raised because of 15,? said Todd. ?We spent longer on the writing process for Black Butterfly than for any of our other records. We wanted to make sure we had the goods.?
Woodruff said the band?s efforts were worth it. ?These guys work just as hard on stage as they do in the studio and I know that our Sturgis Rally are going to love them.?
More information and reservations are available at www.BuffaloChip.com
Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum–
Q: Where can men over the age of 60 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore under fiction.
Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you’re done you’ll have a place to live.
Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: “And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt .”
Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 60-plus year old husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.
Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.
Q: What is the most common remark made by 60-plus year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: “Gosh, I remember these!”
–from Fatbob
Gangster greetings– Knowing how you love FXR’s. EVO’s need loving too!
–John Dodson, Gangster Choppers
1-866-640-CHOP
www.gangsterchoppers.com
A guy just can’t own too many tools– I just bought this new gauge from Lowes Tool Dept. It takes a while to learn all the settings and took a lot of trying, but I’m pretty handy, and was patient, so I figured it out eventually. You know for sure with this gauge, there is no more guessing! Lowes……..A man’s toy store……… ? It’s just so much fun to use. I really love it!!!
Steven Tyler and Dirico Motorcycles to Attend Sturgis Bike Week– Dirico Motorcycles USA, the brand of Steven Tyler?s inspiration and Mark Dirico?s innovation, will be appearing at the 2009 Sturgis Bike Week. Plus, rocker Tyler himself will be there performing with Aerosmith, the official band of the event.
Music innovator Steven Tyler and master inventor Mark Dirico have merged their art forms to create Dirico Motorcycles, USA. Designed and hand built for seamless function, Dirico motorcycles are statements of craftsmanship, style, detail, and innovation, expressed through modern-age components assembled with old-world skill. They connect with the owner through their lines and inspire the rider through their performance. See them in person at Sturgis.
Dirico Motorcycles USA will be displaying bikes at the 7th Annual Metzeler Bike contest on Tuesday, August 4, at Buffalo Chip. Dirico will also have a full display setup of its models featuring builder Mark Dirico on Lazelle Street in Sturgis all week long, and a bike at the Deadwood Casino.
Dirico Motorcycles USA is the official bike of the Sturgis Bike Week and a Dirico motorcycle will be raffled off on Stage at Buffalo Chip during the Aerosmith concert, Wednesday, August 5. For more information go to: www.buffalochip.com
With Aerosmith participating as the official band of Sturgis Bike Week, Tyler just might be the official person of the event. Tyler will be taking part in the Legends Ride on Monday, August 4 starting in Silverado-Franklin Historic Hotel and Gaming Complex, in Deadwood, and ending at Buffalo Chip in Sturgis. More about the ride can be found at: www.ledgendsride.com
The engineering mastery within Dirico motorcycles gives them a peerless ride experience: seamless, practical, functional, balanced. Each motorcycle created by Dirico Motorcycles USA is driven exclusively by a heartbeat Harley-Davidson engine. Smooth styling, ageless innovation, and proven power plants make Dirico motorcycles unique in their look, feel, quality, and ease of service. Parked, a Dirico motorcycle is a rebellion against the ordinary. In motion, a Dirico motorcycle is a revolutionary experience.
to resonate with the more experienced rider who wants to be distinctive but not entirely different; one who appreciates a bike that matches their own ideas. For more info contact: kelly@velocityinc.com.
HOKA HEY MOTORCYCLE CHALLENGE– On June 20th, 2010 some of the world?s most fearless riders will come together for a 7,000 mile run from Key West, FL to the Kenai Peninsula in Alaska. Across two countries we will ride and test our will as warriors in the Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge!
Many are called but few will be chosen. And only the chosen ? those who can hear 10,000 horses hooves thunder across the prairie as they ride into battle ? will be counted among the most elite riders to ever straddle a steel horse.
In the same manner as the finest military organizations, the chosen few will receive a numbered challenge coin, minted with the Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge Logo. And, at the end, there lies a HALF MILLION DOLLARS in ALASKAN GOLD for whoever reaches the final checkpoint first. There is no prize in a warrior society for second place.
Every Harley Davidson dealership in the world has been invited to participate so riders should prepare to be challenged not only by the Hoka Hey Motorcycle Challenge Organizers but by riders from around the globe!
Meaning ? It?s a Good Day to Die ? ?HOKA HEY? was the roar of every warrior that rode into battle with Crazy Horse. Join us as we ride into battle. As we put ourselves on the line to find out just who we are.
We will only follow this particular route one time in history! So, if you have the heart to take up the challenge you will need to get your application in now!
Does your heart pump the blood of the warrior grandfathers?
ARE YOU A CHOSEN ONE?
BILLY LANE CROCKER PROJECT UPDATE–Got the piggyback oil tank and gas tank done, and off to the polisher’s shop.
–Billy
BIKERNET BLACKWATER C.O.’s Morning Briefing– The Commanding Officer of a Regiment in the U.S. Marine Corps was about to start the morning briefing to his Staff & Battalion & Company Commanders. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, he decided to pose a question to all assembled. He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before & he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of sex was ‘work’ & how much of it was ‘pleasure?’
The X.O. chimed in w/75-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50-50%.
The Colonel’s Aide, a Lt., responded w/25-75% in favor of pleasure, depending on his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the Colonel turned to the PFC who was in charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?
With no hesitation, the young PFC responded, ‘Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.’
The Colonel was surprised &, as you might guess, asked why?
‘Well, Sir,’ began the PFC, ‘if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them.’
The room fell silent…
–from Buck Shot
WIFE SWAP PRODUCE LOOKING FOR FAMILIES– I hope you are doing well! I heard about your custom shop through several other media outlets and thought you might be able to help me with a casting search I’m doing. I?m a casting producer from ABC TV?s Wife Swap and we are currently looking for fun outgoing families to be on our 5th season. If you know of anyone that would be interested in the following opportunity, please let me know or have them contact me directly.
FEATURED FAMILIES RECEIVE $20,000
Thank you so much for your time!!
Best,
Jessica Jorgensen/Casting Producer/ RDF Media-ABC
CASTING SEARCH: Custom Shop Owners/Workers! Casting Directors for ABC TV?s hit reality show, ?Wife Swap,? are now conducting national searches for fun, dynamic, outgoing and interesting families to star on Season 5 of ?Wife Swap?.
? Do you own or work in a custom shop? Is your family involved in the shop?
? Would you like to share your passion for customizing and detailing cars with another family?
? Would you be excited about the chance to change the life of a deserving family or improve your own?
? Do you have children between the ages of 7 and 17?
If so, we?d love to consider you for prime time!!!!
To apply or get more information contact us today:
(TEL.) 646 747 7947
(EMAIL) jessica.jorgensen@castingrdf.com
Jo Giovannoni lead a pack of 13 female riders from the suburbs of Chicago to Milwaukee, Friday morning, May 1st for Harley-Davidsons celebration of International Female Ride Day founded by Vicki Gray of motoress.com
Hundreds of female riders from all over gathered at Miller Park. Country music artist, Krista Marie, lead the ride from Miller Park down the streets of Milwaukee ending at the Harley-Davidson Museum. Jenna Smith from Harley-Davidsons Women?s Outreach, Bill Davidson (son of Willie G.) and Krista Marie were among the speakers. There were activities for ride participants and non-participants alike and of course a chance to check out the museum.
Jo co-founded Harley Women in 1985 along with Cris Sommers. In the early ?90s, Jo became the sole editor/publisher until November 1997. The magazine changed hands a few times and is no longer in publication.
A copy of Harley Women magazine is on display in a glass case near Dot Robinson?s Pink Harley. ?I?m proud to say my 1996 Road King was the first bike you saw when you entered the museum,? said Giovannoni. ?It was on display for the first two weeks of May.?
— Jo Giovannoni
1996 Motorcycle Hall of Fame Inductee
Events Coordinator, Marketing Point Contact and Women’s Outreach for
City Limits Harley-Davidson
2200 N. Rand Rd., Palatine, IL 60074
847-358-2112 – 1-888-400-HOG1 Fax: 847-358-5681
Direct Line 847-348-6116 jog@citylimitshd.com
Irish Math Test — A Irishman wants a job, but the foreman won’t hire him until he passes a little math test.
Here is your first question, the foreman said. “Without using numbers, represent the number 9.”
“Without numbers?” The Irishman says? “Dat is easy.” And proceeds to draw three trees.
“What’s this?” the boss asks.
“Have you ain’t got no brain? Tree and tree plus tree makes 9” says the Irishman.
“Fair enough,” says the boss. “Here’s your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99.”
The Irishman stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree… “Ere you go.”
The boss scratches his head and says, “How on earth do you get that to represent 99?”
“Each of da trees is dirty now. So, it’s dirty tree, and dirty tree, plus dirty tree. Dat makes 99.”
The boss is getting worried that he’s going to actually have to hire this Irishman, so he says, “All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100.”
The Irishman stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, “Ere you go. One hundred.”
The boss looks at the attempt. “You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!”
The Irishman leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and whispers, “A little dog come along and poop by each tree. So now you got dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, which makes ONE HUNDRED!”
The Irishman is the new supervisor.
–Mike
Harley announces World Champs backing– Harley-Davidson has agreed to become an Official Partner of AMD’s World Championship of Custom Bike Building and, in an additional measure of support for the event, will be lending its considerable promotional powers to the World Championship program as title sponsor of the Modified Harley Class.
AMD was contacted by Harley in April with a view to exploring opportunities to help promote the event in general, and to developing the Modified Harley class in particular.
There had been informal and occasional contacts between AMD Magazine and Harley-Davidson in the years since the World Championship started, especially internationally, in connection with the Affiliate event program.
However, in this of all years, this association between Harley-Davidson and the World Championships hasHowever, in this of all years, this association between Harley-Davidson and the World Championships has materialised very quickly.
AMD Publisher and World Championship owner Robin Bradley takes up the story: “We were aware that on an intellectual level many at Harley liked what they saw. As the program evolved, we realised that some at the Motor Company had been watching, but until now hadn’t realised who that was and the extent of their interest.
“At all stages of the dialog, Harley-Davidson has not only been mindful of the Championship Program’s integrity and independence, but repeatedly made it clear that its reputation was a primary factor in motivating it to find a way to support the event’s aims.
“For me, the hot news is that Harley’s approach has been 100 percent supportive of our insistence on being able to manage the program without dependency on any one primary sponsor, and without any sponsor being able to buy influence over event policy. We made it clear from the outset that they would not be permitted to turn it into a company bike show.
Harley-Davidson will be joining the likes of Custom Chrome, S&S, Ultima, BUB Enterprises, Helmet City, Hot Bike Magazine, BDL, KustomWerks, Ride Wright Wheels, Big Dog Motorcycles, Rivera Primo, Kibblewhite and J&P Cycles as a part of the event’s established line-up of sponsoring Official Partners.
The Show! New Location, New trends, New Ideas Metzeler?s Sturgis Custom Bike Contest — ROME, GA ? April 28, 2009: If it?s time for Sturgis, it?s time for the Metzeler Custom Bike Contest. Calling all amateurs and pros! If you?re an aspiring amateur or a practicing pro, this is the chance to showcase your latest build. Join Metzeler on Tuesday, August 4th at Buffalo Chip for a signature event of the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally: the 7th Annual Metzeler Custom Bike Contest. This is the industry?s best V-twin custom-build competition, with sanctioned judges, huge prizes, and really cool trophies. Metzeler has partnered with the Custom Bike Association (CBA) to implement standardized judging procedures, elevating the competition to a whole new level of fairness and excellence.
MC?d by Ted Sands, the Metzeler Custom Bike Contest is the only CBA-sanctioned event at Sturgis this year, and the Metzeler Custom Bike Contest again offers the finest prizes at the rally: a trip for two to Sturgis 2010, feature story of the winning bike in American Iron magazine, appearance in Metzeler?s 2010 marketing materials, really awesome tires, merchandise and more. And don?t forget to stop by see the Michael Lichter?s exhibit: Rebel Rousers , and groove to the nightly concerts. And, earn the highest level of exposure for your custom creations.
Working in conjunction with CBA Master Judge, this year?s judging panel is a who?s who of American custom building, including Metzeler Custom Bike Contest spokesman Eddie Trotta, guest judge Chris Maida of American Iron, and more. Each judge brings years of experience to the task at hand: the battle for Best in Class and, ultimately, Best of Show. And you are invited to judge too in the ever-popular People?s Choice Award. New for 2009 is the addition of the Production class, joining the established classes of Upgrade Stage 1-3 classes for amateurs, Unlimited Chopper, Unlimited Custom and Old-School Bobber.
Metzeler is the official of the Legendary Buffalo Chip and you can upgrade your ride while on site. Also, we have a special VIP display which will include bikes from Dirico Motorcycles USA, inspired by rocker Steven Tyler and handcrafted by Mark Dirico?..you never know when we may have a surprise visit?.it happened last year at our show!
The 7th Annual Metzeler Sturgis Custom Bike Contest is Tuesday, August 4th, 2009 at Buffalo Chip, ?The Best Party Anywhere,? located at 20622 131st Ave, Sturgis. If you don?t know where it is, just ask anyone. The show is under a roof and so it happens if there?s too much sun or too much rain. There are also plenty of vendors there to meet your every-biker need. Open registration starts at 9:00 a.m., doors open at 11:00, awards presentation begins at 5:00 p.m. For more information, including contest rules and registration forms, visit www.metzeler-sturgis.com For more information about the entire line of Metzeler products, visit www.us.metzelermoto.com THE END OF ANOTHER WILD WEEKEND–The good Dr. Hamster and I rode like mad men to the Smoke Out on Friday Night, rolling into the motel parking lot at midnight. We straddled our bikes early the next afternoon and shot over Jerome and Prescott into the desert for the return trip to Los Angeles. My Sturgis Shovelhead chop ran like a champ once more. The Doctor’s ’89 FLH with 180,000 miles on the clock kept up. Whatta ride. I’ll deliver on a handful of S.O. bikes next week. But now it’s onto the next round. I promised an update on the 5-Ball Racer and I’ll kick it off tomorrow, plus add a section about the Jockey-Shift brake drums from Baker. They are perfect for tank shifting action or jockeys. Makes it a no-brainer to find neutral. In addition I’ll deliver on a full feature on the TimeLess Vintage styled motorcycles. We also picked up an article in the LA Times about the vintage motorcycle market. It’s not too startling but it is encouraging regarding the vintage motorcycle market. I’m also going to work on a bike feature from an old ’70s friend – Ross. So hang on. There’s never a dull moment when it comes to action on Bikernet. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. Ride Forever, –Bandit 
