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EXCEPTIONAL CHILDREN’S ART SHOW– Hope to see you and your guests at the ECF Art Show and Reception on April 20, 6-9 p.m., at the Aaron Bros. location in West Hollywood (8383 Santa Monica Blvd. at Kings Road). They told us there is some road construction in the area but business as usual.
Best regards–Carmela Anne Burke
www.ECFArtcenter.com.
MASTER BUILDER TO BUILD ON BIKERNET– Cyril Huze will be building a bike from the ground up right here on Bikernet. “I will send segments every weekend, texts and pictures of what we did on the Softail frame during the week. I know you update on Thursday, so you will have time before uploading. I will e-mail the first chapter (concept) this weekend,” Cyril said from his Florida-based shop.
TRUE STORY– no shit. A buddy of mine goes to pick up his new bike at a Northwest dealer that shall remain nameless…. Here’s a transcript of the event….
–From Chuck
Well…….went up north for the hog today. Weather was looking a bit dicey, but decided to go anyway. I get up there, pay the money, sign zee papers (old man)……all fairly painless. Then a general run through on the bike………..
Sales rep: “This is a front tire, this is a rear tire. They are new and may be a bit slick. Take it easy on the brakes. Here is the maintenance schedule.”
Chuck: “Yeah, that’s cool, man…….gimme the keys.”
Sales rep: “These are the turn signal switches, one on each side.”
Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah……gimme the keys.”
Sales rep: “This is the starting procedure, it takes about three minutes to warm up.”
Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah……gimme the keys!”
Sales rep: “And this is how the security system works, press once to arm, press twice to disarm. This is how to enter your own security code.”
Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah……Hey, man! Gimme the keys!”
Sales rep: “And this is how the front forks are locked……..”
Chuck: “Yeah, yeah, yeah…..GIMME THE (censored) KEYS!”
Sales rep: “And this is how the front forks are unlo………?”
Chuck: “GIMME! GIMME! GIMME!”
Sales rep: “And this is how the front forks are unlo…………………………..!”
Chuck: “!!!!!!!!!!!!?”
Sales rep: “Tell you what……how about we deliver it after we fix the front fork lock?”
CJ IS BACK IN ACTION–The outlaw engraver is back in Kentucky and in action. He’s working on a series of Bandit engraved engine covers that we should feature shortly. Check out his site.
DON’T FORGET TO MARK YOUR CALENDAR– with the schedule for my show, titled “Michael Lichter’s Biker Generation; Twenty Years of Motorcycling Photography.”
June 2001 in Laconia, N.H., at the Belknap Mill Society Gallery.
August 2001 in Rapid City, S.D., at the Journey Museum (There will also be custom bikes in the show by Arlen Ness, Cory Ness, Jesse James, Ron Simms, Paul Yaffe, Eddie Trotta, Russ Tom, Donnie Smith, Billy Lane and Mitch Bergeron).
November 2001 in Littleton, Colo., at the Koebel Library Gallery.
February – October 2002 in Pickerington, Ohio, at the American Motorcycle Association (AMA) Motorcycle Hall of Fame Museum.
Call me at (303) 449-3906 for more specific details and the date/time for the opening receptions. You can also look on the Web look for info at www.lichterphoto.com
FRESH FROM HER SHOWER– a woman stands in front of the mirror, complaining to her husband that her breasts are too small. Instead of characteristically telling her it’s not so, the husband uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion. “If you want your breasts to grow, then every day take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between your breasts for a few seconds.” Willing to try anything, the wife fetches a piece of toilet paper and stands in front of the mirror, rubbing it between her breasts. “How long will this take?” she asks.
“They’ll grow larger over a period of years,” he replies. The wife stops. “Why do you think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts every day will make my breasts grow over the years?”
“It worked for your ass, didn’t it?”He lived. And, with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again…..
–Bill V.
IRON HORSE TRIKES RACES TO STURGIS 2001–That’s right, we have a contender for the run to Sturgis. Don Center of Iron Horse Trikes will be leaving Roswell, N.M., with a 560-horsepower blown Chevy and two 30-gallon saddle gas tanks. He’ll make the 1,000-mile trek in just over 10 hours. Check the feature on Don’s bike in the Bike Barn.
The bastard actually thinks he can beat my beefed-up Buell with a flamed paint job and cams.
A YOUNG GUY– from Texas moves to California and goes to a big departmentstore looking for a job. The manager says, “Do you have any salesexperience?”
The kid says, “Yeah, I was a salesman back home in Texas.”
Well, the boss liked the kid, so he gave him the job. “You starttomorrow. I’ll come down after we close and see how you did.”
His first day on the job was rough but he got through it. After the storewas locked up, the boss came down. “How many sales did you make today?”
The kid says, “One.”
The boss says, “Just one? Our sales people average 20 or 30 sales a day.How much was the sale for?”
Kid says, “$101,237.64.”
Boss says, “$101,237.64? What did you sell him?”
Kid says, “First I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a mediumfish hook. Then I sold him a larger fish hook. Then I sold him a new fishingrod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down at thecoast, so I told him he was gonna need a boat, so we went down to the boatdepartment, and I sold him that twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said hedidn’t think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to theautomotive department and sold him that 4X4 Blazer.”
The boss said, “A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him aboat and truck?”
Kid says, “No, he came in here to buy a box of tampons for his wife, andI said, ‘Well, since your weekend’s shot, you might as well go fishing.'”
–Bruce, Booze Fighters M/C
1928 SHOVELHEAD PROJECT–Report from Jim Stultz of Dallas Easyriders indicates that there’s progress in the service department. The Compufire ignition and charging system is partially hidden in a tunnel under the gas/oil tanks. The bars from Milwaukee Iron are complete and the sheet metal is ready for paint. Watch for a new report in the next week or so.
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