Hey, it’s almost Friday. Friday, the devil’s day of escape from the mundane to a night of sin and the deepest debauchery. I can’t wait. The last couple of weeks have been high pressure, and I left the corporate world to be free. After the cat left me, I still can’t get over it. What the hell did I do wrong this time? Not even a note, or the incessant hang-ups on the phone. Nothin’ … she just split without a word.
After the cat hit the road, the bill collectors started to bug me. I didn’t realize that without a job I was still responsible for paying the bills. How does that make any sense? I needed some mental therapy, so I wandered into the garage with a fifth of Jack and a shot glass, took the phone off the hook and began to tear down a perfectly good running ’48 Panhead. It’s a 61-inch unit that starts first kick every time. I have a swapmeet set of beautiful dual carb heads that Baisley’s Performance rebuilt a couple of years ago. The Indian neon clock in the corner said to me in an erratic ticking voice, “It’s time to see what that Pan will do.” I nodded and tore the sonuvabitch to pieces.
Natch, about the time the shop was covered from end to end with Pan parts, the lift was taken out of commission, then every other bike in the garage crapped out. The touring chopper was first, but it’s been crapping out on a regular basis since it was built. Then the chrome I sent out for the Excelsior-Henderson… Well you know chromers. Sending chrome out carries similar risk to playing the slots at Whiskey Pete’s just inside the Nevada border. They know you’re just on your way to Vegas. They need to get all they can while you’re passing through. You’ll never be back.
Enough whining, we’ll have a tech in the Custom Chrome page on alternator installation and wiring that’ll last. Giggie from Compu-Fire came out and instructed me as I did the work. Compu-fire makes a line of starter motors, alternator kits, and ignition systems, all carried by Custom Chrome.
Our Sturgis 2000 projects have taken major turns for the better. A lot of talk goes around about building bikes at home vs. $40,000 shop bikes. As a busy executive, working for a multi-million buck corporation, there was little time to spend in the garage. That’s the problem with many executives. Sure, they’re making the bucks, but everyone hates ’em and they don’t have time to spend doing what they love. As soon as the Pan is thumping again and off the lift, the rigid will begin to fly together. I can’t go into detail on either bike now, but both Bikernet East and West bikes will be built right under wrenching hands of the Bikernet staff. We’ll give you the full report on that next week.
The guys from the movie project, “Asphalt Cowboy” are thinking about a booth in Laughlin. If that happens, you’ll be able to shoot the shit with out-of-work actors in person. I’ll let you know next week.
On a final note, Human Services Network, the non-profit that houses abandoned kids in the San Fernando Valley is proud to announce that three of the oldest in the group have graduated from high school and are successfully undergoing the emancipation program. It’s tough on these kids. If you would like to volunteer or donate, call Juaquin Shelton, he’ll explain (818) 769-5686. Kids get the toughest road of all, and need the most support. Help kids in your area, if you can’t help these kids.
Life had been calming down, like from hurricane season to the day-to-day turbulence in the Bermuda Triangle. The Bikernet crew has been scrambling with Jon Towle panhandling for gas money on street corners, and Agent Zebra flying to Korea for a writing gig. Since they can’t read his shit, they think he’s cool. Oz, well, he’s defected to the establishment, working to help biker-friendly politicians get elected. He’ll be out of work in a week, once the elections have dried up. Then he’ll come crawling back. As for my hard-working self, since all my bikes were in pieces, I had to borrow one to take a girl up the coast, or was it down the coast? I stumbled onto a fuel-injected 2000 Road King. Damn Twin Cam was so smooth, all the buttons and switches worked, the bags were big enough to strip her completely down and put all her clothes in one of the bags. I get nervous on quiet bikes, though. Especially, in L.A. You need to make some noise and ride fast to prevent getting run over.
Riding stock bikes makes ya wonder why any of us deal with building custom, one-off bikes. Ya just get on these puppies and ride. My Street Stalker is the same. Pure reliable riding enjoyment without the bullshit, and constant breakdowns. I must need help. I’m trying to sell the Street Stalker to publish my next book and build another strange, life-threatening chopper.
Let’s get to the news:
SONNY BARGER’S BOOK– Sonny’s autobiography will be rolling off the presses at HarperCollins within the next week for shipping to book stores nationwide, official on sale date May 17. Check the website page called Tours & Events at sonnybarger.com for complete info on NYC kickoff, Route 66 tour, Hollister and Sturgis appearances, and our trip to England for Bulldog Biker Bash.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON CONTINUES RECORD PERFORMANCE–The Factory announced record sales and earnings for its first quarter ended (March 26, 2000) The Company’s first quarter sales were $681.1 million, an increase of 21.9 percent over the first quarter last year. Net income of $80.2 million includes a one-time net gain of $6.9 million from the sale of the Company’s Chrome Visa(R) credit card program. The Company’s earnings per share grew at 25.7 percent before the positive effect of the sale of the credit card program. Earnings per share for the first quarter were 26 cents, an increase of 37.5 percent, reflecting the Company’s 2-for-1 common stock split on April 7th.
“During the first quarter, we achieved double digit growth in each of our product lines and business segments,” said Jeffrey L. Bleustein, chairman and CEO of Harley-Davidson, Inc. “This performance reflects the continued growth in worldwide demand for Harley-Davidson(R) products and our ability to consistently deliver customer and shareholder value.”
Motorcycles and Related Products Segment
First quarter sales of Harley-Davidson motorcycles were $535.3 million, an increase of 22.6 percent over the first quarter last year. Shipments of Harley-Davidson motorcycles totaled 49,057 units, up 7,876 units or 19.1 percent over last year. The Company’s production target for the year 2000 for Harley-Davidson motorcycles has been increased to 198,500 units, up from our previous target of 196,000. The second quarter production target is 52,000 units.
Buell
Motorcycle sales for the first quarter totaled $16.8 million on shipments of 2,338 units, compared to $16 million on shipments of 2,013 units last year. This includes initial shipments of the Blast(R), which retails for $4,395, or about half the price of the next lowest priced Buell. The Blast is a single cylinder, 492 cc motorcycle that is targeted towards new riders. Buell’s motorcycle production target, including the Blast, has been increased to 10,000 units for the year.
Parts and Accessories (P&A)
P&A, which consist of Genuine Motor Parts(TM) and Genuine Motor Accessories(TM), totaled $94.9 million, a 26.4 percent increase over the year-ago quarter. General merchandise first quarter sales, which consist of MotorClothes(R) apparel and collectibles, totaled $33.5 million, up 13.7 percent over the same period last year.
For the long term, the Company expects P&A revenues to increase slightly faster than Harley-Davidson’s motorcycle unit growth rate, while general merchandise will grow slightly slower than the motorcycle unit growth rate.
First quarter gross margin was 34.0 percent of revenue, up slightly from 33.9 percent of revenue last year, while operating margin for the motorcycles and related products segment was 16.5 percent of revenue, compared to 16.4 percent of revenue for the same period last year.
Financial Services Segment
Harley-Davidson Financial Services, Inc. (HDFS), a subsidiary of Harley-Davidson, Inc., reported first quarter operating income of $3.3 million, up 26.1 percent compared to the year-ago quarter. HDFS’s first quarter operating income grew in line with its expectations to grow faster than the motorcycle business for 2000.
TOP SEX JOKE FINALISTS–A small white guy goes into an elevator, when he gets in he notices a huge black dude standing next to him. The big black dude looks down upon the small white guy and says, “7-foot tall, 350 pounds, 20-inch dick, 3-pound left ball, 3-pound right ball, Turner Brown.”
The small white guy faints!! The big black dude picks up the small white guy and brings him to, slapping his face and shaking him. He asks the small white guy, “What’s wrong?”
The small white guy says, “Excuse me, but what did you say?”
The big black dude looks down and says, “7-foot tall, 350 pounds, 20-inch dick, 3-pound left ball, 3-pound right ball, my name is Turner Brown.”
The small white guy says, “Thank god, I thought you said, ‘Turn around.'”
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There was this couple who had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the old gentleman said to his wife, “Just think, honey, we’ve been married for 50 years.”
“Yeah,” she replied, “just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together.”
“I know,” the old man said, “we were probably sitting here naked as jaybirds fifty years ago.”
“Well,” Granny snickered, “what do you say … should we get naked?” Where upon the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. “You know, honey,” the little old lady breathlessly replied, “my nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago.”
“I wouldn’t be surprised,” replied Gramps, “one’s in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal!!!!
TITAN HITS 10 MILLION MARK–Titan Motorcycle Co. of America (Nasdaq: TMOT) announced today that total dealer shipments for the company’s new Phoenix(TM) line of motorcycles have passed the $10 million mark. Priced in the $20,000 range, the Phoenix line is the company’s entry-level V-twin bike, designed specifically to broaden market appeal for Titan’s unique, custom-configured motorcycles.
“The Phoenix line is off to a great start, and we expect it to do very well for us,” said Patrick Keery, president. “Our order backlog for Phoenix model dealer shipments is surprisingly high for so early in the riding season, and the bike’s field reliability is excellent. We seem to have struck a chord with the marketplace,” Keery said. He indicated that Titan continues to ramp up its production volume capacities to respond to strong consumer demand for what the company believes is the best big-engine V-twin value available anywhere.
VETERAN ALERT– The Rolling Wall will be on display in Tombstone, Arizona starting this Sunday 4/16 at the VFW. It’s scheduled to be there until the 23rd. A ride leaves the TTT truck stop at 10am on Sunday 4/16. All are welcome to ride out and pay tribute to Vietnam Veterans, and enjoy a taste of the old west.
AMERICA’S DRUG WAR STRIPS LIBERTY–The asinine drug “war” and struggle to strip Americans of their liberty enforcement clause, the 2nd Amendment, has begun. By BOB POOL, Times Staff Writer
A clash of lifestyles in Topanga Canyon ended Thursday when an aging hippie woodcutter agreed to move out of the fast-growing mountain community to avoid the possibility of going to prison on a drug charge. James W. Hancock, 65, pleaded no contest to charges of narcotics and firearms violations in exchange for a promise of probation–provided he abandons the shack near the center of the canyon where he has lived for more than 20 years. But after agreeing to the plea bargain in a Malibu courtroom, Hancock continued to maintain his innocence. He asserted that a third of an ounce of methamphetamines, an antique black-powder musket, and several miscellaneous-caliber bullets that were found last fall by sheriff’s deputies who raided the lot where he also sells firewood had been left there by acquaintances whom he allowed to come and go freely. Like Hancock, his friends were often bearded and scruffy, which mothers delivering their children from newly built canyon homes to the nearby Topanga Elementary School found frightening. There were dark rumors of drug use at the wood yard and reports that Hancock was a squatter who was resisting efforts by the owner of the junk-laden site on Old Topanga Canyon Road to evict him.
That nervousness triggered the Sept. 30 raid. A Hollywood political consultant who heard stories about Hancock and his friends while attending a Topanga party in early September said he called high-ranking sheriff’s officials. After the raid, he choreographed a campaign aimed at convicting Hancock on a variety of charges–including selling drugs within 1,000 feet of a school. Disclosure of the role of political consultant David Carlat prompted a debate on Internet Web sites and in letters to newspaper editors that for a time seemed to pit Topanga old-timers who drive dilapidated cars and live in modest cabins and cottages against newcomers with sport utility vehicles and $700,000 homes. Some in the canyon said they were looking forward to the trial in hopes that testimony would reveal who else might be behind the raid and the campaign against Hancock.
After the raid, Carlat sought to prod prosecutors to charge Hancock with the more serious charge of selling drugs near a school. He told the media that a trail led from the school yard to Hancock’s shack. Carlat coordinated a petition drive at the school urging full prosecution of Hancock. He also tried to rally support from the county Board of Supervisors and the state Assembly and sought to pressure authorities to deny probation for the woodcutter.
Later, it was determined that the pathway from the school was actually a coyote trail that petered out in the brush a few yards from the campus.
Some of those signing the school petition acknowledged that they had never heard of any alleged drug sales near the school until they read the paperwork. And it was learned that Hancock had a legal right to be on the property.
Hancock was ordered Thursday to return to court June 15 for formal sentencing. But Superior Court Judge James A. Albracht made it clear that Hancock’s sentence of probation will be contingent on his leaving Topanga Canyon by then and staying away for three years.
REDWOOD RUN A-COMIN’–The Redwood Run has been scheduled for June 9, 10 & 11th. Click on this link for more information. Redwood Run 2000 These are the details as we know them so far. Thanks to Skip for submitting the information!
QUOTES OF THE WEEK– The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they’re okay, then it’s you. -Rita Mae Brown
Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant?? I’m halfway through my fish burger and I realize, Oh my God … I could be eating a slow learner. -Lynda Montgomery
If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead. -Johnny Carson
TITAN RECEIVES FINANCIAL EXTENSION– Titan Motorcycle Co. of America (Nasdaq: TMOT) announced today reaching an agreement with its lender, Wells Fargo Credit, Inc., for a 90-day extension of its existing credit line.
“This extension will facilitate Titan’s timing for bringing in a new lender with anticipated high borrowing capability,” said Bob Lobban, Titan’s chief financial officer. “We are currently negotiating with several possible new lenders whom we believe could put us on a better financial footing going forward, should we be successful in finalizing a deal at the terms presently under discussion.”
NEW SITE FOR WOMEN RIDERS–For the shapely ones out there, there’s this dynamic, top-notch writer from New York who is developing a site devoted to women who love to ride. Her name is Sasha and she sent me the following:
I dreamed I had an interview with God. “Come in,” God said. “So, you would like to interview Me?” “If you have the time,” I said. God smiled and said, “My time is eternity and is enough to do everything; what questions do you have in mind to ask me?” “What surprises you most about mankind?” God answered, “That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.
That they lose their health to make money and then lose their money to restore their health.
That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor the future.
That they live as if they will never die, and they die as if they had never lived.”
THE RELIGIOUS BENT CONTINUES– A curious guy died one day and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment. As he stood there, he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into heaven. The others were led over to Satan who threw them into the burning pit. But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile. After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow’s curiosity got the best of him. So he strolled over and asked Satan what he was doing. “Excuse me, Prince of Darkness,” he said, “I’m waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn’t help wondering why you are tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?”
“Ah, those…” Satan said with a groan. “They’re all from Seattle. They’re too wet to burn.”
PRODUCT PLUGS– In the very near future we’ll cover the complete line of Daytec frames, the most complete precise frames in the industry. Custom Cycle Engineering has developed a starter switch that bolts directly to the starter solenoid. No wiring, no missed starts, but beware your exhaust. If you can’t reach the starter without touching your pipes, don’t bother. Compu-fire in making starter motors that draw fewer and fewer amps, which allows us crazed bikers to run smaller and smaller batteries. Custom Chrome distributes special tin gaskets with a thin metal insert to prevent cracking. They work.
DID YOU KNOW– The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
NAIL ON THE HEAD, SHIT–If you have a job and can afford a Harley, you’re a yuppie RUB. By the way, an Evo motor is a dead give-away. Oh yeah, and you’re gay, too.
If you don’t put several thousands dollars in performance mods on your bike, you’re a spineless wimp with no real soul, you insecure poser, loser.
If you do put several thousand dollars worth of mods on your bike, you’re a poser scumbag out to impress sixteen-year-old girls, you insecure poser loser.
I don’t get it. I bought the bike. I wear the clothes. I buy them rounds of the cheap fuckin’ piss-like domestic swill-beer they seem to like. I call my wife “the old lady,” the police “the man” and cars “cages.” Still, I suspect that I’m not given the consideration I should be given for not flaunting that I’m too good for them. If they could see me at the firm during the week, they’d understand the effort I’m making to blend. You lower class, reverse snob, blue-collar underachiever!
Ex-Jap bike riders are like ex-alcoholics. “Hi, my name’s Bob, and I once owned a Suzuki. I’ve been clean for ten years now…”
HOT ROD BIKES–The editor, Frank Kaisler, is developing a special with 50 techs in it. He called me demanding 10 techs. Now that’s an indication of the tremendous pressure I’m under.
ESCAPE PLAN–Laughlin is around the bend. The road king still graces my garage, and another girl wants a ride along the coast. Doesn’t matter which direction, as long as the ride is long and hard. The touring chopper should be rattling windows by the end of the day, and the dual carbed Pan, well what began as replacing the heads is now honing the barrels, installing new rings, and perhaps replacing the pistons, which will mean boring once more. To top it off, the tins don’t fit over the valve collars, so I’m in search of an OEM set of tins. Ah, but tomorrow is Friday, the sun is out big-time, something in the garage runs, and she’s waiting. The adventure continues. Let’s ride.
-Bandit
