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BIKERNET BABYSITTING ADVICE ? DON?T MESS WITH KIDS–A little girl was talking to the teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”. The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered,
“Thou shall not kill.”
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, He’s a doctor.’A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher, She’s dead. ”
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
RevCarl
BENEFIT NEEDS YOUR HELP–Bandit: There will be a Bike Benefit in Minden LA Sat April 30,2005. This is for 23 yr old Keith Stanley, He is currently at Our Lady of the Lake Hospital in Baton Rouge, LA….He has battled this horrible disease since last Fall, right after he had just graduated from LSU on a Golf Scholarship, and had just been accepted to Law School… It has been a long road with a lot of Bumps… The Cancer is now in his brain and his bone marrow….The Doctors say this is the final stages….
The Bike Show will be this Saturday…we have been trying to reach every biker we can…Please PLease Please help spread this invitation….we do have the Sport Bike Angels from Dallas Texas coming to make an appearance….We need all the help we can get…there will be a band that has volunteered their time…and we have a lot of things scheduled… We will have BBQ Plates and a lot of food. There will be a Silent Auction with a lot of nice items donated by area merchants….
Please if there is any way you and others can make this trip for a special young man…it will be greatly appreciated.. If you need me to FAX you a Entry Form or any other info…Please Email me…or even Call…We Need YOUR HELP….
Thanks for your time,
Tina
The Hitchin’ Post
15273 HWY 80 East
Minden, LA 71055
318-382-1901
MY CELL 318-834-2988
We are about 30 miles from Shreveport
Off I 20 Take Exit # 49 NOrth on Hwy 531 about one miles to Hwy 80…Take Left and you will be looking at us….Please COME!!!
HIGH TECH 3″ introduced by ROADMAX–With the introduction of this extremely rugged yet stylish 3″ open belt conversion, Roadmax has once again raised the bar for strength, precision fit, function and reliability. Focusing on the needs of enthusiasts running big inch, high horsepower engines, the “HIGH TECH 3″ belt drive is unique in its superior strength and use of advanced materials and manufacturing techniques. Sold as a total package, each Roadmax belt kit includes everything needed for a straight forward, no hassle installation. From the polished, solid billet motor plate assembly to the ultra strong Gates 3” belt, complete diaphragm clutch, HP front and rear pulleys, polished pulley covers and chrome belt guard, to the aircraft quality mounting hardware, pulley JIG and even a tube of Locktite, it’s all here.
Manufactured to the same industry leading standards found in Roadmax revolutionary transmissions, the new open belt system is specifically designed and manufactured from materials capable of handling the awesome torque being produced by contemporary street machines. “HIGH TECH 3” is currently available for all Softail models from 1990 to present. If you’re looking for piece of mind in a truly brutal primary drive give Roadmax a call at 714-446-0787. For a closer look at all of the latest from Roadmax visit http://www.roadmax.net.
GOTHAM RODEO PRESENTS–Awesome honky tonk throttle rockin’ music.
See us every Friday at Snitch (59 West 21st) 6pm – 11pm for the Honky Tonk Happy Hour Hootennany.
May 21st is the Off the Hook Motorin’ Party at The Hook in Red Hook, Brooklyn.
All info is on the website http://www.gothamrodeo.com. Lots more shows to come.
We are NYC & W citybillies! Come on and party with us.
-Sasha
JAMES ULTIMATE PAN SEAL– This is it! The final answer to those leaky Pan covers. No matter if you are running painted stamped steel, chrome, cast or billet aluminum covers these high tech PAN SEALS, just introduced by James Gaskets, are going to provide a seal that virtually eliminates seepage like nothing offered before. These unique PAN SEALS feature a solid steel core, which is fully encapsulated in a thin layer of high-temp NBR rubber. This revolutionary compound provides outstanding torque retention while a thick perimeter bead on two sides produces the conformability needed to seal the wide range of covers that have been produced for these popular engines.
The new JAMES PAN COVER SEALS are sold in pairs and can be used on all Panhead engines from 1948-1965 and clone engines with the same Pan cover to head design and specifications.
For complete details and the location of a JAMES GASKETS dealer near you call 775-246-2220 or visit them on line at http://www.jamesgaskets.com.
NEW FROM BIG BOAR PRODUCTS–200mm Fat Tire Kits for ?86 ? ?03 models. Kit includes Beefy Big Swingarm, 200mm tire, 8 ?? high-quality composite fender, offset pulley, spacers, etc., complete with instructions. For $995.00 you can fatten up your hog!
Big Boar Products
6289 Corporate Park Drive
Loudon, TN 37774
865-458-8640 ? phone865-458-6754 ? fax
email- bigboarpro@aol.com
BIKERNET MODEL OF THE WEEK–My name is Michelle Renee and I am a semi-professionalmodel in Dallas, Texas. I am interested in shootingfor your magazine/website if you are seeking models!
I am 5’6, 123 lbs., dark brown hair, brown eyes andlong legs. My measurements are 34D-25-35. Pleasetake a moment to review a recent photo which I haveattached. If you are interested in using me for aphoto shoot, please let me know.
Thank you,
Michelle Renee
rnmphotography@yahoo.com
A THURSDAY WRAP–The girls did it again, while I played footsiewith a redhead at lunch. Not really, although the red sauce on the pastawasn’t bad. Let’s see what I can report on. We’re wrapping up the July issueof Street Choppers, the August Issue of Hot Rod Bikes (about to relaunch asBike Works), planning Sturgis and our HOT BIKE Sturgis survival guide, andthe evil 13th issue.
It just dawned on me that we’re jamming to Sturgis in August andthe run and party plans continue for two weeks, so how the hell are wesupposed to put together the December issue. Got that? A December issue inAugust that hits the stands in the middle of October. Makes no sense to me.
This weekend is my Shovelhead deadline, but whatI hadn’t planned on yet, no stinkin’ switches. I remember a Panhead I had in ’73. Itwisted wires to make it run. Could I do that again? Maybe not, but I needto plan a switch, something crazy. The bike is torn down to the wheels andI’m finishing the bracket under the trans for the Dyna coils, Compu-firevoltage regulator and a fuse or two (maybe circuit breakers). I need tofinish and grind all the welds and off to the powder coater next week. Keepyour fingers crossed.
I’m going to post a battery tech from Aaron at Big Boar in the nextcouple of weeks as a teaser for the September issue of Hot Bike. It’s amassive 300-page issue with a 36-page outsert Sturgis Survival guide.Remember it hits the stands in July.
Have a helluva weekend,
–Bandit
