Continued from Page 1
NEW CARBURETOR–Atomized Fuel Technologies, Inc. has developed and is currently manufacturing carburetors for V-Twin, off-road motorcycles, and snowmobiles. These carburetors have been proven to increase horsepower, torque, and fuel economy, while decreasing harmful CO and Hydrocarbon emmissions. Check out this new billet unit at AFT Carbs.com.
A YOUNG FAMILY– moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot. The young family’s 6-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew – gems in the rough all of them – more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.
When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, “I’ve been working with a crew building a house all week.”
“My goodness gracious”, said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week too?” “I will if those useless cocksuckers at the lumber yard ever bring us the fucking bricks,” replied the little girl.
THE HORSE REPORTS–Seen in Daytakeya-how do you spell O V E R D R E S S E D?
–GENO
BIKE-RELATED FATALITIES DROP AFTER MANDATORY HELMET LAW REPEALED– Motorcycleriders who fought so hard to get Florida’s mandatory helmet law repealed areseeing the numbers from Daytona’s Bike Week as real vindication.
This year, all eyes turned in the direction of the state’s premier bikerevent togauge the impact of repealing the state’s helmet requirement last July 1.Despite fears that more motorcyclists would die, deaths actually droppedsharply.
A record 15 bike-related fatalities happened in Central Florida during BikeWeek 2000. But during Bike Week 2001, accidents claimed the lives of sixpeople in Volusia County, a reduction that bikers claim proves their point.They say that it’s safer to ride motorcycles without helmets that impedevision and muffle hearing.
Statewide, bike-related fatalities fell from 110 during the first six monthsoflast year to 86 during the last six months, the period when helmets were nolonger mandatory.
–From The Associated Press
DRAGONFLY SHIRTS A HIT– These puppies are cool, quality and priced right, and if you like the ones we have, we’ll have a new line by summer. Besides, we’re not charging postage and handling until the market returns and all is well in the financial world again. Samantha doesn’t hurt either.
A KINDERGARTEN CLASS– had a homework assignment to find out about somethingexciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came topresent what they’d found, the first little boy called upon walked up to thefront of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on theblack board, then he sat back down.Puzzled, the teacher asked him just what it was.
?It?s a period,” said thelittle boy.
“Well, I can see that,” she said, “but what’s so exciting abouta little ol’ period?”
“Damned if I know,” said the little boy, “but thismorning my 15 year-old sister was missing one, …so Daddy had a heartattack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself. So there must besomething exciting about it.”
–Ray Russell
INTRODUCING THE FAST DATES, EBSCO, CORONA SUZUKI TEAM–top contenders in the AMA Nationals for 2001
We had hoped to be able to make this announcement months earlier, butcontract negotiations with one of our major sponsors had been dragging out.The former AMA National Championship winning EBSCO Suzuki raceteam owned by Landers Sevier, which dominated the Formula Extreme andSupersport Classes in the mid ’90s before Landers retired the team, is nowback with a vengence. The new team will again campaign American Suzukisupplied bikes, now in the 750 and 600 Supersport Classes, prepared again byCarry Andrews, their former National Championship winning crew chief. Theteam’s primary sponsors are Corona International, sponsors of the Suzukifactory team in World Superbike, and EBSCO Media, a major printing companyin Montgomery,Ala., where Landers Sevier serves as VP of Sales.
The world’s most popular motorcycle calendars and Web site, FastDates.com,will be a principal associate sponsor of the team with our name appearingon the team racebikes and in associated media, while EBSCO Corona Suzukicomes on board with us as a co-sponsor with SportBikes.com of the upcoming2002 Fast Dates Racebike Pinup Calendar. The team’s riders are Jimmy Mooreand Vincent Haskovec, with Moore having placed an incredible eighth place andfirst non-factory rider in the Daytona 200 Superbike race on his near stockSuzuki GSXR750 Supersport bike. Look for great things from the team thisseason.
Further details are available online in Pit lane News on the FastDates.comWeb site.
YOU KNOW YOU’RE IN CALIFORNIA, IF–The guy in line at Starbucks who is wearing the baseball cap, sunglasses andlooks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.
Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay,and your Mary Kay rep is a guy in drag.
It’s sprinkling out, and there’s a report onevery news channel about “THE STORM!”
THAT’S IT–The morning began calm enough, like a shotgun with one in the chamber and the hammer cocked but the finger inches from the trigger and tapping to the sound of the Temptation’s “It Was Just My Imagination.” I had sent my books to a guy who wanted to make biker movies and I was waiting by the phone for word of big checks and my plots on the silver screen. I was also waiting for the call from the glass cutter. Could they get it right this time? Could we pack it home without breaking it?
Would Sin show up for her nooner all bubbly and full of lesbian stories of her and Coral? Would Layla come bounding up the stairs, pleased with the money she had received from the production crew that would keep her family out of debt, only to find me with Sin and kill us both in a mad rage?Some questions are too awful to ponder. Maybe it’s time to cut and run–Let’s ride. –Bandit
