You’ll discover reading this new installment that Bikernet has developed an extensive, risk-taking team of reporters all over the world. Let’s get to it:
Left side of oil tank
SHOVELHEAD BLUES–Thanks to the powers that be… welder , die grinder, sledge hammer &dumping the Exile seat, I got the damn thing (oil bag) to fit…… pretty fuckingtight though. I’m trying to squeeze in my oil bag over the bitchin electric start BDL belt drive and new clutch–what a fine unit. Check out the pics. At this rate I may have it running bythe weekend….
AAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Grumble, nothin’ is going right… actually it is funny…. Think I found the problem I …Seems the wife has made a shovel voodoo doll & has been poking pins init… think that could be it?
–Richard
BIKERNET DISCOVERs AL QAEDA NETWORK HOME–The deepest Al Qaeda acts of terrorism go on daily 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Snake our under-the-bar reporter dashed into the headquarters the other day, turned on the rickety black and white television and flipped to channel 14. He stood there in the midst of grinding dust while sweat ran down his dusty brow. “That’s it!” he shouted pointing at Wolf Blitzer on CNN. “They are all Al Queda!”
I dropped the die grinder and Nuttboy turned off the rattling cut-off saw while a reporter began to smile and report that the stock market was still falling. He frowned as he reported that generally the country’s production had increased, but smiled again to report that stocks were again on the slide. Wolf came back on the tube with a constant negative harangue of the US handling of the Afghan war. The more we watched the more these people found one way or another to say that the American people were mishandling every aspect of their lives. We stood dumfounded while they never once attacked the actual terrorist or complimented Harley-Davidson for their continued growth or any other company or employees who devote his or her lives to increased technology, profits or products. We’ll report more on this finding later.
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT–They all have escaped to the mainland and we have proof. They’re having a barbecue in Sturgis and if I was going, I’d be there. Show up in my sted will ya, and tell Jose I’m sorry I couldn’t make it.–Bandit
“OLDIE BUT A GOODIE”– A train hits a bus load of school girls and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St.Peter. St. Peter asks the first girl, “Karen, have you ever had any contact with a penis?”
She giggles and shyly replies, “Well I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger.
St. Peter says, “OK, dip the tip of your finger in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.”
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, “Karina have you ever had any contact with a penis?”
The girl is a little reluctant but replies “Well once I fondled and stroked one.”
St. Peter says “OK, dip your whole hand in The Holy Water and pass through the gate.”
All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls, one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front of the line St. Peter says “Susan! What seems to be the rush?”
The girl replies “If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jackie sticks her arse in it!!”
EARLY STURGIS REPORT–“The two don?t look right together (Kenny Price from Samson bought a rare 1920 stakebed Samson truck and found a 1920 Harley-Davidson to display in the bed at his Sturgis western building). One is old and original (rusty piece ofshit) and the other is clean.
“Sturgis is starting to come alive. There are alot of bikes out on the roads and more coming in every day. By tomorrow theywill be arriving in droves.
“Weather is supposed to be as perfect ascan be with little or no rain at all in the near future. It was supposed toget up to 100 today but I don?t think it got that hot. Cooler tomorrow inthe 80’s.
“This town looks different every year. Major changes have takenplace as far as development and improvements. Anyway, gotta get to the bar.The crew called and they have a long line of shots of jack waitin for me.
–Kenny
ROB’S BIKE FEATURE–If we’re lucky Rob’s bike will be featured with building shots on Bikernet later today. Rob recently wrote in with a question about having his bike featured in a magazine: “Here’s a dumb question, but I send visuals to offset the stupidity. I plan on submitting the bike I built, to the various mags, hoping to find someone interested in doing a feature.I figure the bike can stand on it’s own merits, but since it is a ground-up-home-built, and considering it is my very first bike of any kind, it might make a better story.
As an added bonus, I already have a gorgeous model who has committed her services, if I do make it in the magazine. (See attached visuals)
My stupid questions are: Do the mags care if I have a model to supply? What is the customary payment made by the mags for a models services?
I’d hate to get shot down because her fees are more than the payment offered by the publication.
This is were you tell me to get my head outta my ass, I can’t afford her…….
Rob Steffens
I answered his questions in detail, but the bottom line is she’d get a rusty moped on the cover of any rag.–Bandit
DEAL OF THE WEEK–From August 5th through August 31, WILD FIRE HARLEY-DAVIDSON IS having a great sale on ALL consumables.
20% off ALL: TIRES OILS & PRIMARY FLUIDS CLEANING PRODUCTS
COME ON IN AND SAVE BIG OR JUST STOCK UP FOR THE NEXT TIME YOU NEED THESE ITEMS THAT JUST WILL NEVER GO TO WASTE.
WILD FIRE HARLEY-DAVIDSON/BUELL
120 W NORTH AVE
VILLA PARK, ILL 60181
630 834 6571
KAWASAKI ANNOUNCES OFF-ROAD MODELS–Kawasaki has anounced its 2003 off-road motorcycle and all terrainvehicle (ATV) line-up. They will be in showrooms soon. They say the alliance betweenthem and Suzuki will make both companies better able to compete in the off road market.
CHINESE SCOOTS RACE THE GREAT WALL– The Chinese are always movin’ and groovin’ when it comes to scoots.Reuters news tells me that they’re building a motorcycle race track right in the shadowof the Great Wall. Starting in 2004, they’re gonna use it for their own Chinese GrandPrix. One day before this old Gunny jumps in the dirt, I’m gonna get me back to Chinaand see this for myself.
–Gunny
Canadian girl who didn’t quite get Puss’s Commandments.
10 BIKER COMMANDMENTS FOR WOMEN– by Puss-In-Boots. Puss is a regular contributor to Bandit’s Cantina.
1.??? Thou shalt be ready at a moments notice to ride wherever and on whatever bike the OM wants to ride.
2.??? Thou shalt ALWAYS be freshly shaved, tanned, make-up perfect, and have that teeny top, G-string and chaps ready at all times.
3.??? Thou shalt be ready to fetch beer, food, clothes and any other items the OM may need.
4.??? Thou shalt be ready for sex at all times, day or night and as many times as he wants.
5.??? Thou shalt put aside thine own pleasures, his pleasure and his friend?s pleasures are #1.
6.??? Thou shalt always remember the GOLDEN RULE: 100% satisfaction guaranteed, if not there are 100 other bitches waiting to rub pussy with your OM.
7.??? Thou shalt NEVER complain how rough it is riding fender, or thou shalt walk home.
8.??? Thou shalt always show your breasts or naked body whenever requested by your OM or his brothers, for it is an insult to your OM to refuse.
9.??? Thou shalt always remember you know NOTHING.
10.?????????????????????? Thou shalt always drink in moderation, and never, never get so drunk you dance naked on the bar tables asking his buddies for chocolate flavored condoms.
After careful consideration Puss and Boots has been elected the Bikernet employee of the year by a unanimous vote.–
TEAMSTERS POKER RUN AND FREE DONUTS–71.8 Mile Poker Run to Help Defeat MS. August 4th 2002 (Sunday)
Sponsored by The Teamster Horsemen Motorcycle Association,
P.O. BOX 478
SUGAR GROVE ILLINOIS, 60554
INFO: 630-833-5718
FAX: 630-466-7623
www. Teamsterhorsemen . org
Start: Line up at 9:00am at (Wild Fire Harley Davidson)
30 West North Ave
Villa Park, Illinois
First Bike Out: 10:30am
Last Bike Out: 11:00am
FREE DOUGHNUTS Provided by Wild Fire Harley Davidson
Free Lunch Provide by Karla?s River Road Pub.
Run: 71.8 Mile Poker Run to Karla?s River Road Pub in Oregon Illinois, This Run Will Start on North Avenue and STAY on North Avenue all the way to Oregon, it will have 3 Bar Stops in between for cards.
Mail DONATIONS to: Teamster Horsemen Motorcycle Association P.O Box 478 Sugar Grove Illinois, 60554
BIKERNET SURFBOARD OF THE WEEK–Bill Dodge of West Coast Choppers??new Longboard … something a little different …Do they have barracuda in SoCal??????
–from Chris T.
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