If the news appears jaunted and disorderly, it’s because the dark-haired beauty attacked me on my return demanding full disclosure, and riding a rigid to Sturgis changes one’s disposition. Hell, I started hanging out at the high school again and trying to pick up teenage waitresses at Bob’s Big Boy. Better get to the news before I get in anymore trouble…
YO, WHAT’S THE WORD ON BIKETOBERFEST?– When is it? Where? What? We going? We need a lot more of those stickers. People loved them. They’re free advertising when they get stuck everywhere. I need more business cards, lose the wrong cell phone number. Drop and give me 20. Where’s the Friendly Fire link? Is it up yet? Let me know what the ETA might be for a new bike (the one you guys built for me is shot). Are we making any money yet? Where’s my gun. Over and out.–Zebra
Fuck off!–Bandit
HANNON PRO STOCK ON DYNO–After several unavoidable delays, Bill Hannon is pleased to announce, “The new bike is finally on the dyno.”
Anyone who knows Bill knows that means track time is forthcoming and more news will follow quickly at this point. “We’re pleased that George Babor will be testing for us. He has a keen “feel” for our program and will add valuable information.”
Hannon Racing, the first Pro Stock Harley Davidson team to dip into the 7 second zone, has traditionally been a team to break records and maintain a very professional demeanor.
Hannon Racing is supported on their national circuit by Axtell Sales, Inc., Baisley Hi-Performance, D & G Chassis, Harley Davidson of Ft. Myers, The Landings Realty, Inc., Red Line Oil, MRE, BPM Racing Engines, and Dyna Tek, RK Chain, Bandit Clutch, Vanson Leathers, & Mastercam. –Hannon 941-463-2778 www.hannonracing.com
WHAT– Boston HOG Chapter’s 9th Annual Benefit Run for the Ronald McDonald House
WHEN: Sunday, July 30
IGNITION TIME/PLACE: Westwood Station (off 128) at 11 a.m. SHARP.
DONATION: $15 per person (bike games, raffles, vendors, two bands, more!) Wristbands can be bought at Seacoast, Merrimack, and Boston HOG chapters on Sunday before the ride begins.
INFO: 617-387-9464
DESTINATION: Maynard Rod and Gun Club, Maynard, Mass. Activities start at noon. If you can’t make the Ride, go straight there! (Route 2 West, to Route 62 into Maynard. When you get to Maynard center, take a right and follow it to Gun Club.)
HARLEY HOLLEY QUESTION–Harley-Davidson has just released a two barrel Holley carburetor viait’s Screamin Eagle brand, part # 27973-00. Can you tell me if you knowanything about how well it will make my HOG run?–Don
Ask and you shall receive–Bandit
HARLEY-DAVIDSON POWERS UP WITH NEW SCREAMIN’ EAGLE/HOLLEY PERFORMANCE INDUCTION SYSTEM– Harley-Davidson and Holley Performance haveteamed up to design and produce an American-made performance carburetor thatwill power up Twin Cam 88 and Evolution engines.
The new Screamin’ Eagle/Holley Performance Induction System for Evolution1340- and Twin Cam 88-Equipped Harley-Davidson Models includes a two-barrelcarburetor, a unique open-plenum intake manifold and a complete air cleanerand breather manifold package.
The new induction system is built for race applications, yet has excellentdriveability and throttle response. Both carburetors use stock throttle andidle cables, but are not cruise control compatible.
The Screamin’ Eagle/Holley Performance Induction System, for 1990-99Evolution 1340-Equipped Models, is offered in both satin (P/N 27970-00) andtumble-polished (P/N 280090-00) finishes. The Screamin’ Eagle/HolleyPerformance Induction System for Twin Cam 88-Equipped Models is also offeredin satin (P/N 27973-00) and tumble-polished (P/N 28011-00) finishes and fits1999 and later carbureted Twin Cam 88-engines.
The satin finished carburetors have a suggested U.S. retail of $589.95. Thetumble polished finish retails for $679.95. Both the Evolution 1340 and TwinCam-88 versions are available at Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts andGenuine Motor Accessories dealerships nationwide.
In addition, Genuine Motor Parts and Genuine Motor Accessories is makingavailable a Rebuild Kit (P/N 29680-00) and a Tuner’s Kit (P/N 29681-00) forthe Screamin’ Eagle/Holley Performance Induction System. The Rebuild Kitincludes all of the necessary items to rebuild the carburetor and has asuggested U.S. retail of $63.95. The Tuner’s Kit includes an assortment offuel jets, air bleeds and other components and retails for $89.95.
For additional information on the Screamin’ Eagle/Holley PerformanceInduction Systems and other Harley-Davidson Genuine Motor Parts and GenuineMotor Accessories, visit the Harley-Davidson web site atwww.harley-davidson.com. To find a dealer near you, call toll free1-800-443-2153 in the U.S.A. and Canada.
A BLONDE’S CAR BREAKS DOWN ON THE INTERSTATE– She easesit over to the shoulder of the road and carefully steps out of thecar.When she opens the trunk, two men in trench coats jump out andposition themselves at the rear of the vehicle facing oncomingtraffic.They begin opening their coats and exposing themselves toapproachingdrivers.
Not surprisingly, one of the worst pileups in the historyofthis highway occurs.It’s not very long before a police car shows up. The enraged coprunstoward the blonde, yelling, “What the hell is going onhere?”
“My car broke down,” says the lady, calmly.
“Well, what’re theseperverts doing here exposing themselves by the road?” asks thecop.
And she said…
(This is good…)
(Ready?)
(Remember, she’s blonde…)
“Those are my emergency flashers.”
40 E-MAILS?–Whats the deal? Got about 40 emails in a half hour giving me the bikernet update! Is the computer stuck or something?
That way we don’t ever have to send you an e-mail again. Actually, we’re testing a new software package. If they ever get it straightened out, we’ll send you two-line reminders of new shit on bikernet every couple of weeks.
ALABAMA RALLY ANNOUNCEMENT–
Name of event: American Ironhorse Roundup
Where: Horse Pens 40, Steele, Alabama
When: Oct 6,7,8
Website: www.horsepens40.com
Contact: Kevin Joyce 205-807-1187 HP40Kevin@aol.com, Greg Collins 205-621-1750
Mail Address: Horse Pens 40, ATT: Kevin Joyce, 1211 28th Street South, Birmingham, Alabama 35205.
SPEAKING OF LESBIANS–Lesbians: 1. What do you call a cupboard full of lesbians? A licker cabinet.
2. What do you call an eskimo lesbian? A Klondyke.
3. What do you call 100 lesbians with guns? Militia Etheridge.
4. Why can’t lesbians diet and wear make-up at the same time? Because they can’t eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on their face.
I PAID GOOD MONEY– for a subscription to Iron Horse just before they went out–only got one issue. Then nothing! I love the rag , but man did that piss me off. When I saw the Horse Backstreet Choppers, I said no way, and then subscribed anyway. Oh well, that’s really all I had to say .
PAUL’S NEW RIDE–Yes, Paul Vestal a prison warden, social worker and tireless fighter for bikers’ right has a new road glide. He deserves it after riding Shovelheads for thirty years. If you ever see this guy on the road help him, even if he doesn’t need a damn thing. He should be in the Hall of Fame somewhere. He’s good people and a hard working brother.
SALUTE TO THE SHOVELHEAD BIKE SHOW–
Sunday September 24th, 2000,1:00 to 6:00 p.m.Judging begins at 3 PM At CRUISER’S Tavern,843 North Federal Highway,US Route 1,In Stuart, just North of the Roosevelt Bridge.
Wheelbarrow Benefit for the Leonard Devoe Family Trust Fund(The local director of HIS PLACE Halfway House in Stuartis terminally ill and needs our support.)
All 1966-1984 Shovelheads are welcome to enter!Best Original, Chopper, Paint, Rat, Dresser, Oldest, Latest People’s Choice, and more !!! $10.00 Entry FeeAll proceeds go into the Wheelbarrow!
KYLE PETTY FINDS RELIGION IN STURGIS–In a scene that typifies the oddity of the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally, NASCARstar Kyle Petty is serenaded by a gospel choir while revving his VictoryMotorcycle. Petty is in Sturgis celebrating the Victory “revival” for thelaunch of its new 2001 motorcycles.
VICTORY MOTORCYCLES LAUNCHES 2001 DELUXE CRUISER AT STURGIS MOTORCYCLE RALLY–American-made Victory Motorcycles enters third model year with new bike and more than 200 changes to existing models
With more than a half million motorcyclistson hand, Victory Motorcycles is introducing its newest cruiser model at the60th Annual Sturgis Rally this week. The new Victory V92C Deluxe offers all the performance, power and handlingof a Victory motorcycle, as well as accessories like a windshield,saddlebags, backrest and passenger floorboards.
“The new Victory V92C Deluxe is a direct response to consumerdemands for a comfortable, accessorized cruiser motorcycle that is moreconducive to touring,” said Tom Tiller, President and CEO, PolarisIndustries Inc., parent company of Victory Motorcycles. “Victory isoffering great value to our riders with all the accessories that are nowstandard on the new Deluxe.”
Originally launched in the United States on July 4, 1998 -Independence Day – Victory is also launching new 2001 versions of itsCruiser and SportCruiserTM this week.
“With the more than 200 changes and improvements Victory has made for 2001,it’s as if we are introducing three new motorcycles, not just one,” saidTiller.
Features include a totally new, smoother, quieter transmission, an all-newclutch design, a smoother-running engine, a narrowed bike and a reduction inoverall weight – not to mention all-new colors for 2001.The new model introductions come on the heels of Victory’s entry into theUnited Kingdom motorcycle market in July. Named “Cruiser of the Year” itsfirst two years in the United States, Victory plans to shake up the UnitedKingdom’s heavyweight cruiser market.
THE MINISTER OF A SMALL CONGREGATION– was about to start hissermon when he noticed a young woman in the front row. She was wearing atight dress with her boobs almost hanging out. He couldn’tconcentrate on his message to the flock, so he dismissed the serviceand asked to speak to the woman after everyone else had left thechurch.
When they were alone, the reverend said in his sternest voice, “Just what do you mean, coming to church dressed likethat?”
“Why reverend,” the young thing replied. “All of myboyfriends tell me that they can hear the angels sing when they puttheir heads on my breasts.”
“Hmm. Well let me check,” said the man of the cloth,placinghis head between her tits. After several minutes, he raised hishead
and said, “I don’t hear any angels singing!”
“Of course not, reverend,” she said. “You’re notplugged in yet.”
TINKLE TUPPERWARE–Tinkle Tupperware is a big woman, a biker woman and doesn?t give a damn if, after a long ride on a hot summer day, she smells like a bucket of fish bait. Tinkle has always had a lust for life. Late sixties puberty and full speed ahead into the free wheeling seventies and eighties. For Tinkle there was never any question, riding hard, hanging with bikers and raising hell for the hell of it was the only way to live.
Tinkle, in her late forties now, wasn’t getting the action she used to. She knew part of it was because she weren’t no spring chicken and the years of hard and carefree living had taken its toll. But beyond that things seemed to be quieting down in general. The crowd she hung out with continued to thin out. Long time hell raisers were getting day jobs and settling down into more passive lives. The big events at Daytona, Laconia and Sturgis had become rather sedate and populated with larger percentages of weekend riders. Tank, the owner of a small motorcycle and lawnmower repair shop in town had asked her to marry him and settle down. She was seriously thinking about accepting the offer. Tinkle had never really been one to think things through and make decisions, she as a rule just went with whatever her gut said and this had always seemed to work just fine.
But things were changing and so she found herself roaring down the interstate thinking about marriage and a new and very different lifestyle. All things considered it seemed to her that the time had come and she would accept Tank’s offer. But she wanted one last tango in Sturgis. She decided that she would marry Tank when she got back from Sturgis and, as sort of a farewell to the lifestyle she had known and loved, would screw the brains out of every Bikernet representative that she could find. They had an emblem and she had a mission. -Carlos
I HAVE A QUESTION FOR WHOMEVER IS SOBER ENOUGH TO RESPOND– I am puttingtogether a chopper on a rigid frame from scratch, mostly from new parts.I am putting a 94 fairly stock EVO motor in a Daytec rigid frame using aBaker six speed.
I would like to put a mousetrap and hand shifter on thedarn thing and I’m not sure where to start looking for one. Does anyonestill manufacture these things and more importantly, where can I findspecs, instructions, etc for installation, hummmm?????
Any informationat all would just tickle the piss outta me. No, really, it would. I’mcurrently riding a ’98 Heritage. Whatever that means. Thanks forlistening. I feel better now.–Green Larry
Hey, forget the mousetrap, but a jockey shift is very possible. Call Rick at Two-Wheelers in Denver. He manufacturers a jockey shift set-up for an Evo (303) 433-7025.
OH, MY BANDIT, YOU ARE SO BUSTED– One of our Devil Doll Worshippers came across your awesome mention of our rowdy, tarty girl gang. Nice writing, I must say. You certainly have the gift of words, darlin’. And I must say, that seeing my little gothic name mentioned, made my little bones shiver with glee. You totally rock, my mysterious Bandit. Someday, someday, that’s all I will say!! Thank you.
The Devil Dolls love you. GOTHGIRL President Devil Dolls MC
BANDIT–How was your trip? Sin and I missed you, well actually Sin missed you. I was glad you were gone. She’s so hot, and since you were out of the picture we spent some “quality” time together, since she didn’t know what to do with her afternoons. I did, though.We hung out and kept ourselves entertained. Well, I don’t know how entertained she was, but I was. Last weekend we went to a day spa for a massage and mud pac. I enjoyed watching the female technician rub mud all over Sin’s succulent body. Damn, I wish I could move faster with that bitch. I only had a couple of weeks to warm her up to a thing with another woman.
I caught her checking me out when the girl began to rub me down. The swedish technician wasn’t as bashful as Sin, and was completely enjoying my 38 DDs. I could see Sin’s nipples harden as I ran my hand under the blonde’s white uniform. Damn Sin’s a hot buxom oriental and that long black hair drives me crazy. I gotta move on her before you get back.–Coral
FLORIDA RUN– Some time back, I pestered the late Dennis Stemp about my goofy concept, Project OLAF. One Lap Around Florida. I still hear his practical response, “Why?” Well, I live in the only state with a perimeter that can be ridden using only US highways the entire route, 1,700 miles give or take– a long run that takes in everything from Deep South swamps up on the Georgia border to the emerald Caribbean waters of the Keys. When I do this ride, now it’ll be with Dennis in mind. –John Siebenthaler, Creative Services, Inc. a one man advertising agency with offices is Daytona, Sturgis, Hollywood, New York City, Detroit, Chicago and Missoula Montana.
HARLEY DIVIDEND COMING– Harley-Davidson, Inc. (NYSE:HDI) announced today that its Board of Directors approved a quarterly cashdividend of 2.5 cents per share, payable September 19, 2000 to shareholdersof record September 8, 2000. The company currently has approximately 302.6million shares of common stock outstanding.
MOVIE PROJECT RECRUIT–Hey,here’s a pic of me washing my ride and a pic of my ride,’54 pan.Is movie stardom in my future?Like the site. –Pirate
NUUTBOY RETURNS FROM IRELAND–Okay, so there I was, in the frenzy of LAX, at the British Airways Baggage Complaint Desk. It’s Friday 4:00 PM, frantic, hot and sticky. The last time I had any sleep was something like 2 1/2 days ago. I’m feeling like a zombie. One of my bags is missing, it’s on the next flight (it will be delivered at 2:00AM Sat. morn.) from Heathrow, England. The last of the frazzeled, sleep-deprived students (Yes, Scott finally made it to Arizona) are on their way home. We plan to meet again for a party, in a month. Some will make it to the party, some will be away at school, some will be off on other adventures and some will ‘have other plans.’ But we all will have lived an adventure.We left Ireland, then England, in a rainstorm, the first in weeks. Our month long stay ended in a rush to buy gifts, say goodbye to new friends, see a couple more things, packing, and a raucous party at the Brazen Head Pub on Bridge St. next to the River Liffey. We have to re-learn to look left when we step off a curb, how to flush a toilet, that you can dry clothes on a line, counting dollars instead of pounds or punts, hot water is available anytime you want, not to depend on the 123 bus to get to the City Center, no tour bus will be waiting at the Charlemont Gate, no 30-minute walk to school, no crowds of smoking and yelling adolescent Spanish/Italian students walking five abreast on the sidewalks, no five-course potato dinners, pizza, and a thousand other adjustments to life.
Travel in Europe for two weeks is tourism, after that you begin to become a resident alien. Ireland became what we made of it. Each of us had a unique experience of it. Even when we traveled together, we brought to our experience our own interpretation.As the numbness of jet-lag wears off, I (and the rest of my traveling companions) have to gear-up for the more familiar routine of life here in the states. We’ve unpacked. We paid the bills. Laundry is being washed. We are trudging through a mountain of magazines and mail. We are starting to make contact with friends.
School starts in a couple of weeks.Yet there is still that lingering feeling of what we’ve experienced- the mad-capped pub life of Dublin, the beauty of the green and verdant country side, the complex variety of cultural history and artifacts, the delightful friendliness of the Irish people and the uniquely Irish quality of life we’ve learned to enjoy. It will always be a part of our lives–Nuutboy, bikernet college professor and nail driver.
ANOTHER RUN REPORT–Just got back from Sturgis, it was good, it was bad, and a couple of times it was fuckin ugly! Maybe I’m just getting old and tired of the bullshit but the cops in Sturgis wore my ass out.
How many times can you get pulled over so the fuckin dog can sniff you for drugs…that and a sorry ass drunk that I put to sleep in the Broken Spoke. The good shit was Hewlit, want a party that was….raisin pie all the way. I think that I’ll let the trailer towing bastards have Sturgis and set up camp in Wyoming. By and large it was still a real good time…even had a guy from Easyriders spring for my dinner one night…. made up for the bullshit ticket…ride safe.–Daddy Wack
TOP 10 THINGS MEN KNOW ABOUT WOMEN–
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10. They have boobs.
HOW YA DOIN’?– I finally got on the web; and have been checking out yoursite. Ilike it. You’re doing a good job. As soon as you and Oz get some nakedwomen, it’ll be a great job!! I saw the pictures of your Sturgis bike, you’re a betterman than I. If I tried toride a rigid to South Dakota my hemeroids would be bleeding so bad I’dhave to be stopingevery 500 miles for a fucking blood transfusion.
I was glad to hear that you mayhave foundyourself a good woman. I guess I won’t tell you about the little red headI was going to in-troduce you to. How about your new honey, she have any friends who mightlike a ride on a good looking scoot? –S.T.
Naked women. Hmmm?–Bandit
NO REAL RANT–just disturbed that in the rise of the HORSEseveral writers that I truly liked have been lost–still it is kind of neat that an old Easyriders hand is on board. Hope the Horse can settle down and get some good writing going. Over the years I really got a kick out of some of the old Horse staff’s trips around the country. check out the trip through Russia–that was pretty slick—the new group seems pretty dedicated and that is what it’s going to take. I’ve been riding for well over thirty years and motorcycles are my life, so I have bought and subscribed to almost every bike magazine published. Right now I have over two thousand mags cluttering up a two bedroom apartment–adios
TWO DOCTORS–Two doctors opened offices in a small townand put up a sign readingDr. Smith and Dr. Jones, Psychiatryand Proctology. The town fathers were not too happy with the sign and theyproposed Hysterias and Posterios. The Doctors didn’t find it acceptable, andsuggested Schizoids and Hemorroids. The town didn’t like thateither and countered with Catatonics and High Colonics. Thumbs down again, by now the story was inthe papers and suggestions began rolling in: Manic-depressives andAnal-retentives.Minds and Behinds. Lost Souls and Ass-holes. Analysis and Anal Cysts, Queers and Rears, Nuts and Butts, Freaks and Cheeks, Loons and Moons.
None of these satisfied one side or the other,but they finally settled on Dr. Smith & Dr. Jones, OddsEnds.
ENTRY DEADLINE NEARS– for10th International Automotive Media Awards.The deadline for submission of entries to the IAMC awards recognitionprogram is Aug. 18, 2000. This 10th International Automotive MediaConference and Awards (IAMC) event is being held Oct. 28-30 at the LasVegas Convention Center, Las Vegas, Nev., immediately prior to SEMA PressDay Oct. 31st.
“We have a full schedule of activities planned,” said Walter R Haessner,executive director of IAMC. “Featured seminars are by Adobe? software andApple? computer; awards presentations will begin on Sunday Oct. 29th andconclude Monday evening Oct. 30th. All members of the automotive media,whether print, television, electronic, www, radio, or public relations, areinvited to participate. We are hearing from many new people this year, aswell as those who have participated in the past.
“This 10th IAMC should break all records,” Haessner continued. “For thesecond year, IAMC is being held as an adjunct to the SEMA Show, madepossible through the support of SEMA. The new date and venue were seen asmajor improvements by the 1999 attendees.”
Those people needing entry forms can download an Adobe? PDF from the IAMCwebsite (http://www.iamc-isvp.org/root/iamc.html). At the IAMC page, select”Conference Details.” A link is in place for anyone needing AcrobatReader?. If faxed forms are needed, or if you have any questions, pleasecontact the office at 520/622-2201. Conference registration forms are alsoavailable for non-entrants; registration without entries closes Oct. 27th;late registration is available at the IAMC, Oct. 28-30, 2000.
“An elite group of supporting sponsors?Hagerty Classic Insurance,Meguiar’s, Inc., Mercedes-Benz USA and SEMA?helps make the IAMC possible,”Haessner added. “Their involvement is very much appreciated.”
For additional information on:The IAMC and awards entry forms, contact Elaine Jordan at 520/622-2201;e-mail to iamc@iamc-isvp.org
HEY MAN–I noticed that you ain’t with Biker no more. I been reading yourstory in the horse and just wanted you to know that I don’t know what’sgoing on at ER and Biker, but it ain’t what it used to be. Lost touchwith guys like me. I ain’t hardcore, but I love to ride and been doing itsince I was 12 in 71. Spend all my money and time on the bikes, and wantto keep in touch on new stuff and events.
Please keep doing it. We allneed your perspective. Rip’s gone. Who’s left? The Horse is alright, butI ain’t that fucked up about this chopper thing. Love em, but it don’tmake you shit, if you got shocks on the back. My back can’t take ahardtail. Need a new mag with more regular guy bikes, real road info. Whatdo you think?Gonna do it?– Ted S., Little Rock
Ya never know about these things. It would have to be a constant good time, like this is–Bandit
YO, BANDIT– I hope you can help me out. I e-mailed a letter to Corbin about their Cobra seat which is for the Softtail frame as to whether or not it would fit my Atlas rigid frame or not. To date I have not heard from them, maybe you might be able to get a response from them. I really like that seat and think it would look good on my scooter.If not guess I’ll stick with the one I’ve got. I’m from the era of choppers,hardtails and apes though mine’s not chopped and it didn’t take me long to get rid of my apes,and go to pullbacks but I still run a rigid frame as the chicks seem to like the vibrations better. I hope I’m able to continue using the computers at my little,local library. I was down-loading some prison websites that featured some nude women and the prudes in this town got upset and ratted me out. –Snake
Mike Corbin was just inducted into he Motorcycle Hall of Fame in Sturgis, along with Rip and others. He’ll even be harder to catch now. He’s innovative and inventive, but tough to get on the phone–Bandit
PICOTTE LOOKS TO MOVE UP IN AMA POINTS RACE– VR 1000 Pilot 8th Overall after top 10 Finish at BIR With just two races remaining on the AMASuperbike 2000 schedule, VR 1000 pilot Pascal Picotte left BrainerdInternational Raceway on Sunday looking to improve on his eighth placestanding in overall points. Picotte finished ninth in the circuit’s 10thrace of the year, and said he is anticipating the next round at Pike’s Peak,where he led the closing stages of the race and finished second a year ago.”Pike’s Peak is a track where a good-handling bike like the VR 1000 can dowell,” Picotte added.
According to Team Manager Steve Scheibe, the team is working hard to furtherincrease the performance of the VR.”The bike ran well today, it’s run well all year — but obviously we stilldon’t have enough horsepower,” said Scheibe. “However, Harley-Davidson fansshould know we are committed to changing that.”
From a qualifying position of 10th, Picotte started strong and climbed tofifth in the early laps. However, he slowly lost ground on Brainerd’smile-long straight.”I was closing the gaps in the corners, where we were very strong, but inthe end we didn’t have enough speed,” he said. Picotte currently trailsYamaha’s Tommy Hayden (seventh) by 13 points and Honda’s Miguel DuHamel(sixth) by 16 in the standings. Scott Russell did not finish at Brainerd after a fitting on his VR’s oilline leading to the oil pressure sensor broke early in the race. Oil leakedonto the exhaust pipes and caused Russell to pull out.
DAYS INN BLOWN AWAY–MAYBE–I just got an email from a friend at Excelsior-Henderson, he just spoke to the Days Inn in Sturgis, and they told him that the Days Inn in Spearfish is closed due to the storm on Tuesday. He said the roof got ripped off. Bummer! Better call to find out the deal if you’re staying there.–Patty
Mike and Lana put on one helluva terrific Cajun fiest at the Days Inn in Spearfish last week. The food was spicy, but not that spicy–Bandit
MC CLURE BACK FROM STANTON, STURGIS AND BRISTOL–Whew, this time of year you have to remain focused, focused on racing and focused on the road. Jim McClure, Williamsburg, Va. left the IHRA CARQUEST Northern Nations, Stanton, Mi. rainout to drive straight through to the mid west mecca of Harley drag racing, Sturgis, SD.
Rescheduled for Sturgis, McClure won the rained out ADBA Atlanta race. McClure qualified unlucky 13 for the Sturgis Top Fuel field and was taken out early for the Sturgis win. But no time to cry over spilt milk, the McClure’s loaded up and headed for the S & S Nationals at Bristol, Tn, qualifying 2nd behind Bill Furr, Orangeburg, SC with a 6.713 for Furr and 6.719 for McClure.
The Bristol facility proved to be good for McClure as he took a win in the final.
August 19 IHRA Stanton, Mi. (reschedule)
Aug. 22-26 IHRA Norwalk, Oh.
Sept. 8-10 IHRA Epping, NH
McClure is supported on his national tour by Rivera Engineering, Primo Products, Red Line Synthetic Oil, ACCEL, Hampton Roads HD, Southside HD, F & S HD, S & S Cycle, Inc, Performance Machine, Axtell, Autolite & Vanson Leathers www.jimmcclureracing.com
HOLD ON– Why are cowgirls bowlegged? Cowboys like to eat with their hats on.
What’s the definition of a teenager? God’s punishment for enjoying sex.
What two words will clear out a men’s restroom? “Nice Dick!”
Why do we have orgasms? How else would we know when to stop?
WEERDO’S NEWS LETTER– We’re gonna have a monthly newsletter to keepour friends informed on what the Weerdos are up to–http://www.weerdbros.com.
Hey, if you’re in the market for a front end for your project, contact these guys. I have got to say that if it wasn’t for the quick and ready assistance of the Weerd bros, I would have never made it to Sturgis. I ran a 14 over wide glide that worked like a dream. When I needed answers they returned calls, sent brackets over night and new the answers to keep me going. Good people! –Bandit
MR. FIVE BALL–I’m innocent, I’m innocent…. is that the only thing youknow how to write anymore. If you’re not fuckin’ guilty,then I’m the Pope!
That Carlos ain’t a bad writer, what the hell happenedto the rest of his NASA story?
That’s Mr. Breeze gawdamnit! Now your just fuckin’with me! You ask me what name to use, I tell you andyou do just the opposite. I would expect no less fromyou!
I’m innocent–Bandit
SHAVED—that’s just torture. First you tempt uswith Sin Pussy, now this! I can never tell where yourlife ends and your fictional fantasies begin. Just when Ihave myself convinced that Sin Wu is a figment of yourimagination you come up with a photo (Great inkCindy, I hope you haven’t taken any offense at my funwith your last name as no disrespect is intended).Do you have anyone to hand out your Bikernet stickersat The Buffalo Chip? I could take care of that for you. OK, OK……you only want beautiful women doing it. Ihave that covered too. I could talk my Sturgis date intodoing it. A sexy six footer, with a yard of leg, hair likea midnight forest, dark glowing eyes to get lost in, andhot enough to melt the porcelain out of your spark plug!They’ll be knockin’ each other down to get to her!–Carlos
Wish I could have taken you up on the offer. Wanna trade Sin for the leggy one for a weekend?–Bandit
DID YOU KNOW–With the data now available for all markets for the full year of 1999 motorcycle registrations, Harley-Davidson’s world-wide market sharte in the 651 cc plus catagory soared another 14 percent over 1998 to represnet 26.7 of the global new motrocycle sales. Rock and roll.
Paul Yaffe Moved to new larger headquarters. Master customizer Paul Yaffe has new digs at 2211 E. Indian School Road, Phoenix, AZ 85016, (602) 840-4205.
Bikernet is in heated negotiations to carry the Chrome Specialties line of Prison Blues and their other super-cool clothing on Bikernet. We will also offer little Joe’s Leathers since that’s all I wear anymore. That’s HAL leathers.
My mother, yes Bandit has a mother who is 79 years old and is about to take a cruise around the world. You know whose paying for it? Harley-Davidson. That’s right, she bought 100 shares in 1903. No I’m kidding. She bought the stock in 1988. A lousy 100 shares. With splits she now owns 800 shares which is worth 38,000.
Hamster in space. Damn those yuppie Hamster bastards with their high priced bikes that they never ride. At least that’s the going line about the guys in the yellow t-shirts. Seems somebody missed the fact that some 50 rodents ride to Sturgis every year. Arlen has ridden to Strugis some 20 times. Anyway at a gathering to munch on seeds and nuts it was announced that a Hamster T-shirt was launched into space. That puppy went over 17,000 miles an hour and some 26 miles into space. That gettin’ high.
Dave Hanlon interviewed for Hot Rod Bikes in the Cubs bar in Sturgis. Drunk as skunks I tried to get Dave to tell me what’s happening with Excelsior-Henderson. The rowdy racket in the bar drowned out the tape recorder and girls kept trying to drag Dave into the head. Twice a 200-car train rolled past directly behind the bar and the waitress kept opening the door next to our table to flood the 95 degree bar with the sound of thousands of bikes on Lazelle outside. If Dave told me anything I was too drunk to remember it, the tape didn’t pick it up, besides someone stomped it in the fist-fight that insued. Seems the guys at the next table thought I was taping their conversation about making a crank lab in a closet. I was, hell, I needed to make enough money to get back to San Pedro.
Watch for new Bikernet T-shirts in the near future. We’ve got a new design using the famous Jon Towle’s artwork for our patches which will be for sale in Bandit’s Gift shop next week. Check ’em out.
Fiction World Is Growing: Hot Rod Bikes has commissioned my ass to write scalding fiction monthly in the Peterson publication. They also asked me to write a history piece on mufflers. Does anyone know the history of the muffler? Help me, help me, please.
The Sturgis 2000 Bikernet Chop-off is still underway. Zebra made it there first and rode the most miles. I rode a rigid and had more fun along the way. Watch for the two sagas on the site and look over the bikes–then vote. Let us know which is your favorite, the one you hate, or well whatever you think. We had a helluva good time doing it.
OVERCOMING–A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her._David Brinkley
THAT’S IT–I’m not accustomed to this much work, besides I got a call from the dark-haired beauty. She’s been working out regulary and is looking so trim. She’s on her way to my arms for some afternoon delight. I need to wrap this up, put on the music, poor the wine and brush my teeth. This is what life is all about. Laying around afterwards watching the sun set over the harbor.
This weekend we’ll put the ’48 Pan back together and begin to tune the dual 42 mm Mikunis. It’ll be interesting to see if a 61-inch 52-year-old Pan will burn rubber. –Bandit
