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CALIFORNIA DRIVING SCHOOL ON LINE–We are pleased to announce the launch of our online Driver Education program – 4NewDrivers.com.
Our course is designed to help teenagers fulfill DMV requirements for driver education.Upon completion of this online course teenagers will be able to obtain learner’s permit and then driver license from DMV as soon as they turn 16.
As soon as a teenager passes the 4NewDrivers.com course – we send out the Certificate of Completion. As simple as that!
Our goal is to prepare teens for the challenges of the road, teach them defensive driving skills, and get them ready to take and pass the DMV test.
“Geez will I ever get to Sturgis?”
BIKERNET WEBMASTER GOES DOWN, LOSES MIND–It’s true the webmaster, Digital Gangster lost control of his rigid on a rain soaked rural road in the hills over looking Squalemie, Washington in hot pursuit of a Mustang back packed with buxom blondes. Here’s a photo of him less than two days after the horrendous accident. Following is a quote from him:
“I think we need to get laid more often.
I think alcohol is to expensive.
I think work sucks.
I think that by the time I’m ready to collect social security, the well willbe dry.
I think politicians are theives, just that they are above the law.
I think that the entire character of this country is slowing dropping downthe toilet.
I think the human race will do itself in, long before it ever truly getsintelligent enough to realize why we’re really here, what we should do aboutit etc. etc. etc.
I think I’m the only sane person in the world at times.
I think I need to go to the bathroom…..”
He’s under heavy medication. We’ll report on his progress next week.
–Snake
WOMEN–A woman and a man are involved in a car accident; it’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says,”So you’re a man; that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There’s nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”
Flattered,the man replied, “Oh yes, I agree with you completely!” “This must be a sign from God!”
The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn’t break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”
The woman replies,”No. I think I’ll just wait for the police…”
Moral of the story: Women are clever bitches. Don’t mess with them.
–from Chris T.
BANDIT’S CANTINA CELEBRATES ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY–We would like to take a moment to thank all the riders world wide who are members of Bandit’s Cantina. Actually the Anniversary was in February, but Jon just finished the illustration. And this coming January is the Seventh anniversary of Bikernet. Cantina membership supports the overall site and the content. If you’re not a member give it a shot. For this month only membership is just $15.00 a year. You won’t be dissappointed.Besides Jon Towle was responsible for the full color illustrations.
BURNING DOWN THE HOUSE–Antipot helicopter caused California forest fire.by Preston Peet- for High Times,posted August 16, 2002.”This has got to be the very worst marijuana-related damage done in this state in my entire lifetime.” — Dale Gieringer, California NORML.
A forest fire that burned out of control for almost two weeks and devastated over 50,000 acres near San Diego was caused by a helicopter looking for pot farms, a California Department of Forestry investigation has concluded.
“A California National Guard helicopter was in the area looking for drugs, and clipped a power line, which caused a spark which started the fire,” said Martie Perkins, fire information officer for the department. The helicopter was working with a DEA anti-drug task force, out looking for marijuana grow operations.
Called the Pines fire, the blaze started on July 29 outside the town of Julian, about 40 miles northeast of San Diego. By the time it was brought under control, it had burned through 56,500 acres of land, turning 37 homes, 116 barns and other outbuildings, and 161 vehicles into cinders, for an estimated $10 million in damage. Between 500 and 1,000 people were evacuated, and 24 firefighters injured.
Fighting the fire took almost 2,700 firefighters, 17 helicopters and 10 air tankers, with the final cost estimated at $21 million.
“There’s no doubt that most of the outdoor marijuana-eradication efforts are not only a waste of money to begin with,” says Allen St. Pierre, head of the NORML Foundation, “but the immense property and environment damage that has been caused by this marijuana-eradication program in that forest is so many times greater of the value of any illegal marijuana found there. This is another gross excess in the War on Some Drugs.”
SCIENTISTS SAY ALCOHOL MAKES OTHERS BETTER LOOKING–‘The ‘Beer-Goggle Effect’ Does Actually Exist’.LONDON (Aug 20) – Want to be more attractive? — then make sure those around you are having a drink.
British scientists have found even modest amounts of alcohol will make the opposite sex appear better-looking.
“We have carried out experiments which show that what is known in the trade as the ‘beer-goggle effect’ does actually exist,” Barry Jones, professor of psychology at Glasgow University, told Reuters on Monday.
The study of 120 male and female students found drinking up to four units of alcohol — about two pints (one litre) of beer or four glasses of wine — increased the perceived attractiveness of members of the opposite sex by about 25 percent.
Jones said alcohol apparently stimulates a part of the brain called the nucleus accumbens, which judges facial attractiveness.
“There is a strong link between facial attractiveness and signals about the quality of a potential mate,” Jones said.
The professor said the study had been prompted by the causal link between risky sex and alcohol consumption.
Its findings come at a time when young Britons are increasingly binge drinking, which has serious health risks.
–from Geno HORSE
WILD FIRE H-D DEALS OF THE WEEK–Don’t forget, all August long Tires, OIL and cleaning products are on sale for 20% off! So, stock up on those consumables that will never go to waste!
Join us on August 25th for the HOT TIMES Poker Run. This run is sponsored by our local HOG chapter and supports the Illinois Fire Safety Alliance Burn Camp for Kids, a very worthy cause. You can also Buy a raffle ticket to win a brand new Sportster. Tickets are $10.00
Sign up for the run starts at 10:00 am at Wild Fire HD. 120 W. North Ave, Villa Park, IL, 630 834 6571. Last Bike out at noon.
We hope to see you in August to take advantage of the special savings on oil and tires and for the Burn Camp Poker Run.
Ride Safe and Live Free
–Ozzie
CEO-Dealer Principal
BIKERNET WHOREHOUSE ADVICE–A guy thought his wife was cheating on him. So he waited for her toleave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her hefound out she was working in a whorehouse.
The guy says to the cabbie, “Wanna make a $100?”
The cabbie says, “Sure,what do I have to do?”.
The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside thewhorehouse and grab his wife and put her in the back of the cab and takethem home. So the cabbie goes in.
A couple of minutes later the whore house door gets kicked open, and thecabbie is dragging this women out who is kicking, biting, punching, andfighting all the way to the cab. The cabbie opens the door to the cab,throws the girl inside, and tells the man, “Here hold her!!”
The man looks down at the girl and says to the cabbie, “THIS AIN’T MYWIFE”.
The cabbie replied, “I KNOW, IT’S MINE; I’M GOING BACK IN FOR YOURS!!”.
–from Needle Dan
NEED PARTS?–Bikernet is now a dealer for CSI parts. If you don’t have a dealer near you, or it’s the middle of the night and the dealer is 50 miles away, or won’t talk to you, or whatever. You can now order the parts directly through Bikernet and they’ll be shipped immediately from their storehouse to you. At least I hope so.
–Bandit
BIKERNET CLASSIFIEDS ARE FREE–JUST A REMINDER–Did you know that you could buy and sell on Bikernet? Well you can, alongwith trying to find that special someone. Our classifieds are free so youshould check it out. You’ll never know what you might find in there.
Personals
Looking for Woman at Spoke who…
Looking for the woman at the Spoke in Sturgis who was massaging mychest(and nipples)so nicely….
THE WEALTHY LAWYER–One afternoon, a wealthy lawyer was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two pathetic men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate, and asked, “Why are you eating grass?”
“We don’t have no money for food,” the first man replied.
“Oh, well, you can come with me to my house,” insisted the lawyer.
“But, sir, I got a wife and three kids here.”
“Bring them along!” replied the lawyer.
“But how ’bout m’ friend?”
The lawyer turned to the other man and said, “You come with us, too.”
“But, sir, I got a wife and six kids!”
“Bring them as well!” answered the lawyer as he headed for his limo.
They all climbed into the car, and once underway, one of the poor fellows says: “Sir, you are too kind.Thank you for taking all of us with you.”
The lawyer replied, “Glad to do it. You’re gonna love my place . . . the grass is almost a foot tall.”
–from Chris T.
SECURITY COST RISES AT OHIO EASYRIDERS EVENT–CHILLICOTHE, Ohio (AP) — Recent motorcycle gang-related killings in otherstates have driven up security costs for an annual Labor Day biker rally,the sheriff said.
Ross County Sheriff Ron Nichols has increased security to 50 officers pershift, up from 30, for this year’s Easyriders Rodeo at the Ross Countyfairgrounds.
To pay for the extra officers, he has asked for $182,000 from rallyorganizers, $75,000 more than last year.
“In light of the recent violence, we’re focusing our security so our eventgoes off with a minimal amount of problems,” Nichols said.”
About 100,000 people attended last year’s event at the 178-acre fairgrounds,Nichols said, adding that other large motorcycle events have beefed upsecurity this year.
Nichols said members of different motorcycle gangs attend the rodeo.
John Green, president of Easyriders, based in Agoura Hills, Calif., said hehad no information indicating there would be violence in Chillicothe.”We have no reason to believe there is going to be any activity at ourshow,” he said.
The violence prompted two New Jersey towns to cancel motorcycle shows thisyear.
Security costs in Chillicothe have organizers looking at other locations,which has upset some who rely on the money it brings.
Ben Vanhorn, treasurer for First Capital Rotary, said his club’s biggestfund-raising event is selling bags of ice at the rodeo.
“It would be devastating to all our area organizations if Easyriders were toleave,” he said.
–Columbus Dispatch.
NORTH CASCADE HOG CHAPTER BURN RUN– We will meet you at the 1st Rest Stop onI-5, Southbound from the border at 1100am on Sunday the 25thof August to ride to the Burn Camp. They want us there around 1:30ishand will be providing lunch for us.
Please bring a toy for a camper.Suggested gift items to bring for the Burn Camp Campers are:
Disposable Cameras
Squirt Guns are always appreciated
Any other Item your members feel comfortable in bringing.Ages are 5-18 I believe…
See you on the 25th.Ride Safe and Keep the Shinny Side Up
–Marc
NEWLY INDOCTRINATED HAMSTERS AND STURGIS REPORT–Well hopefully everyone survived Sturgis and the return trip home. It was one crowded year in the Black Hills. We had a few minor accidents within the group, but everyone survived and are doing well. The Discovery Channel and Travel Channel followed the West Coast Hamsters crew to Sturgis and hung out most of the week. It will be aired for three days in September.
We have 15 new members this year. Let’s give them a warm Hamster welcome!
Butch Ersted, Morris, Minnesota
Jack Gagen, Waimanalo, Hawaii
Rick Hoffman, Columbiana, Ohio
Morri Irvin, Concord, North Carolina
Charlie Leggio, Metairie, Louisiana
Todd Rippo, Ketchum, Idaho
John Roehl, Coon Rapids, Minnesota
Gene Slater, Longview, Texas
Ron Snyder, Hidden Hills, California
Rich Sobiech, Bloomington, Minnesota
Matt Stutzman, Carson City, Nevada
Kent Terry, San Miguel, California
John Terzakis, Tequesta, Florida
Chris Thill, Chanhassen, Minnesota
Henry Tonkin, Orange Park, Florida
QUOTE OF THE DAY– “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather, who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.”
– – Author Unknown
I’VE HAD IT–That’s all I can take, but I must say Happy Birthday to Puss and Boots. She’s featured in The Cantina with her wild sexy columns that will make yer hair stand up on the back of your neck and shimmy.
Regarding Jon Towle, we may lose him in the near future as he becomes a syndicated newspaper cartoonist. Although he’s been turned down by over 500 dailies, he is currently attempting to contribute to grocery store throw-aways. Unfortunately, every time he uses Bikernet as a reference he gets turned down. We wish him all the best though. And yes, he is now the starving artist owner of a rusting old Sportster contributed to him through Bikernet’s helpful readers. A basket case would be affording this rusting and pitted machine a compliment. We’re waiting for shots of a running bike, if that’s possible.
Jon is the visual mastermind behind Bikernet, a guitar playing, bike riding, Mr. Mom who lives in the fire racked -Angeles Crest Forest in a garage. The site wouldn’t be the same without him. Now, hit happy-hour and go for a ride. You deserve it.
–Bandit
