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PRESIDENTS CAUGHT IN TORNADOS–The last four presidents get caught in a tornado and go spinning off to Oz.They finally make it to the Emerald City and come before the GreatWizard.
WHAT BRINGS YOU BEFORE THE GREAT WIZARD OF OZ?
Jimmy Carter steps forward timidly: “I’ve come for some courage.”
“NO PROBLEM” says the Wizard. “WHO IS NEXT?”
Ronald Reagan steps forward. “Well…, I…think I need a brain.”
“DONE” says the Wizard.
WHO COMES NEXT BEFORE THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ?”
Up steps George Bush sadly, “I’m told by the American people that I needa heart.”
“I’VE HEARD IT’S TRUE” says the Wizard. “CONSIDER IT DONE.”
There is a great silence in the hall. Bill Clinton is just standingthere looking around, but doesn’t say a word.
Irritated, the Wizard finally asks, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”
Is Dorothy here???”
BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– As you all know, we were in the Black Hills for the past couple weeks. You would not believe the time, money and effort it requires to make ouryearly trip to Sturgis. Thisyear is one of those that we could have stayed home. Most people (vendors, campgrounds, etc.) claimed that attendance was down by 50 percent. The heat waveof 115 degrees was a royal pain in everyone’s ass (Ididn’t see a single bike cruising down Main Street on Wednesday.) People took coverin the bars or what little shade they could find. Police were outin full force, tickets and rights-violating searches left and right. Ourgroup of 12 people got pulled over at least five times. Three of those becamesearches, I guess just for having PR plates on our bikes. Police were goingbike by bike at parking lots checking serial numbers. I guess the lack ofattendance made them hungry for their assigned quotas and everybody hadto pay the price.
We had a close encounter with the new H-D V-rod as soon as we got toSturgis. A friend had had the bike for a couple days and took it by our houseso we could check it out and snap some photos while we tore the bike apart.I’m not going to say anything about the bike, good or bad, but gimme 10V-rods for my chopper and I would say “no way.” If anyone is interested indetails, let me know, I can easily give my two cents worth. We received our new BMC chopper and quickly raked 900 and so miles in it. It’s anawesome chopper for the $20,000 suggested retail. We also got a preview ofthe new Softail model, which will retail for about $23,000. I noticed a fewof the big guys with some BMCs in their booths. Here’s a photo of theNotorious 918 model, hope you guys like it. Rudy and Heather from Frisco Choppers and Crime Inc. were present atSturgis. Their line of apparel is selling like hotcakes. They are the coolestpeople and their shirts rock (besides being a sponsor here) check theirstuff out, tell them Jose sent you. Two of our bikes were shot for American Iron Magazine and will be featuredin upcoming issues. Keep an eye out for them and let me know what you think. Jesse James rode from Long Beach with Indian Larry. He told us the heat nearVegas was up to 126 degrees, which fried three batteries and two voltregulators. Seems like the trip was not something to write home about. Let’sfind out what went on when the new show comes out in September. That’s it for this week. If you would like to get the completeSturgis story, let me know (in Your Shot). We missed Bandit and found out thereason when we got back. I’m glad he was able to sort of walk away after the accident. It’s a really nasty feeling when your friends crossthat safety line. It’s really sad to hear those sirens up in the BlackHills and know another biker went down. No matter what happens, what’s important is that we are able to get on the bike once more. Plastic, chrome and metal can be replaced, friends cannot.Bandit, we are very glad you are OK. Our best wishes for a prompt recoup.Bandit 1- Bambi 0. –Jose, Caribbean Bikernet Report DEER UNION SENDS VOODOO CURSE–Someone has sent you a voodoo curse through PinStruck.com. To view yourpersonalized curse, click the link at the bottom of this e-mail. Beforeyou do, make sure to read the following warning: WARNING:If you are sensitive, paranoid or superstitious in nature, viewing yourvoodoo curse may be upsetting to you. Curses are not suitable for viewingby people under the age of 18. If you fall into any of these categories it would probably be best todelete this e-mail and forget about the whole thing.Remember, revenge is always an option. RELATIONSHIP SCUTTLEBUTT– A man and his wife are out on San Francisco Bay when a wave hits them and the wife falls overboard. He searches and searches for her butfinally gives up and calls the Coast Guard. They call out the Harbor Police and everyone spends many hours searching the bay for her. The next morning, two grim-faced policemen appear at his door. “We’resorry to bring you sad news, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information aboutyour wife.” “Oh!” says the man, “Quick! Tell me! Have you found her?” One of the policemen says, “Well, we are going to break this to you as gently as possible. We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?” Fearing the worst, Mr. Wilkens says, “Give me the bad news first.” So the policeman says, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in San Francisco Bay. She appears to have drowned.” “Oh, my God!” cries Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asks, “What in the world could be the ‘good news’?” “Well,” says the policeman, “When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeness crabs on her.” “If that’s the good news, then what’s the ‘great news’?!” Mr. Wilkens demands. The policeman says, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow morning.” CAMPING GEAR REPORT AND BARGAIN–On to this month’s free gear winner, which is Norwood D. of Wilmington, N.C.Congratulations Norwood, you will be receiving an assortment of great little travel items, including Pro15 Sunsreen, Cat Crap lenses protector, a camp towel and Redline water bottle. Now for this month’s specials: I have decided Eureka Tents will be our focus. For this month only, our Cobra (two-person), normally $159.99, is on special to you for only $119.99. Our Solitaire (one-person), which is priced at $79.99, is out of here for $67.99.Eureka is discontinuing the VCS (Variable Component Shelter) in 2002, and we will too as soon as we run out?and can no longer order more. But in the mean time I will sell the only portable screen house made for $169.99 (normally $209.99) and the Poly Wall version for $189.99 (normally $239.99). Finally, I will give you $20 off on any other tent we carry in case these don’t happen to be what you were looking at. Rick Thomas PAVEL HANZLIK, EUROPEAN STUNT CHAMPION– ( This is your chance. ?The only cost to see Pavel is the $10 entrance fee that is charged by the track. ?There is no cost imposed by the SRA. ?This might be a good time to check out what a track day is all about, too. ?The SRA runs a limited entry track day that rotates two groups every 20 minutes from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. Pavel will be practicing in the morning and performing during the noon lunch break. ?Come see a true professional stunt man perform stunts that are better than Rothwell’s! Pavel will be available for shows for a limited time in the U.S. ?Interested in knowing more about Pavel…. just call the SRA at (888) 837-2453 or e-mail Want to know more about the nation’s largest sportbike organization? Just stop by our Web site at www.sportbikes.com. ?The SRA is a grassroots organization that provides members with negotiated discounts from manufacturers and vendors of sportbike parts, accessories and apparel. KING CLIMPS BACK ON PODIUM AT PEORIA– Harley-Davidson Factory Racer Rich King landed on the podium Sunday night at Peoria Raceway Park, taking second place in the Progressive Insurance U.S. Flat Track Championship main event. Chris Carr held on for the victory, recording his 13th career win at Peoria. “We’ve struggled a little in chassis setup this year, but we’re getting dialed in and I’m looking forward to the rest of the year at tracks such as Sedalia, Vernon Downs and Springfield, where I’ve won in the past,” said King, who recorded his first victory of the year in July at the DuQuoin (Ill.) State Fairgrounds. The second place finish gives him 155 series points, behind Will Davis (161), Joe Kopp (210) and Carr (221).”Rich is definitely getting back in the groove,” said Harley-Davidson Director of Marketing Art Gompper. “He was the only rider challenging Carr, who is nearly always near the top at Peoria.” King was strong throughout the race, which included two restarts following crashes by Gary Rogers and Nicky Hayden. Shortly after the second restart, King passed Mike Hacker for second heading into turn one and then set his sights on Carr. “My Harley-Davidson was running strong, and I could keep Chris in sight and keep him honest, but I could never get close enough to stick a wheel in there or anything,” said King. “There were a couple laps that I went faster than him and I thought I had a chance, but I’d make a mistake or get held up by a lapper and he’d get away.” Following Carr and King, Kopp edged Hacker for third place.King will next race Aug. 25 at the State Fair Speedway in Sedalia, MO. The race will be round 15 out of the scheduled 20 races on the AMA’s Progressive Insurance U.S. Flat Track Championship. A?BEDTIME STORY–A little boy goes to his dad and asks, “What is politics?” Dad says, “Well, son, let me try to explain it this way: I’m the breadwinner of the family, so let’s call me Capitalism. Your Mom, she’s the administrator of the money, so we’ll call her the Government. We’re here to take care of your needs, so we’ll call you the People. We’ll consider the nanny as the Working Class, he went on. And your baby brother, we’ll call him the Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense.” So the little boy goes to bed thinking about what dad has said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents’ room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny’s room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back tobed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, “Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now.” The father says, “Good, son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about.” The little boy replies, “Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored and the Future is in deep shit! President Bush with Jorge Hidalgo, general manager of Pilgrim Road Powertrain Operations. PRESIDENT BUSH ATTENDS THE HEART OF AMERICA–Harley-Davidson?was honored to have President of the United States George W. Bush?visit its Pilgrim Road?Powertrain Operations facility in Menomonee Falls, Wis.,?today. Pilgrim Road manufactures Twin Cam 88 engines and transmissions for H-D’s York, Penn., assembly plant and Milwaukee parts and accessories divison. Harley-Davidson CEO Jeff Bleustein has worked with the president and the Department of Labor on the president?s Workforce of the 21st Century Initiative. Following a recent presentation during a summit on the 21st century workforce, Bleustein met privately with the president to discuss labor-related issues. During that meeting, Bleustein invited the president to visit Harley-Davidson the next time he was in Milwaukee. The president decided to take Jeff up on the offer while he was in town speaking at?a VFW convention.? HARLEY-DAVIDSON’S SUGGESTIONS FOR SPENDING YOUR INCOME TAX REBATE–For $600, make a 10 percent down payment on a new Harley-Davidson?XL 883 Sportster?motorcycle. For $450, make a 10 percent down payment on a new Buell Blast motorcycle. For less than $300, learn to ride a motorcycle at Rider?s Edge, the Harley-Davidson Academy of Motorcycling. For less than $200, buy a Harley-Davidson black leather jacket. For about $100, rent a Harley-Davidson motorcycle?from your local dealer for a day. For $38, buy a Harley-Davidson denim shirt. For about $20, buy a Harley-Davidson T-shirt or baseball cap. For less than $8, buy a full tank of gas for your Harley-Davidson motorcycle and get 40 to 50 miles per gallon while fulfilling your dreams of freedom, exhilaration and?exploration of the great?open roads?of the U.S.? MOTORCYCLING CODE OF THE WEST LESSON– A 10-year-old boy was walking down the street when a big man on ablack motorcycle pulls up beside him and asks, “Hey kid, wanna go for aride?” “No!”, said the boy, and he kept on walking. The motorcyclist pullsup to him again and says, “Hey kid, I’ll give you $10 if you hop on theback.” “NO!” said the boy and proceeded down the street a little quicker. The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says, “OK kid, I’llgive you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride.” At this point the boy turns around to him and screams angrily, “LookDad, YOU bought the Kawasaki, so YOU ride it!! –Rogue MORE ON THE CODE–We’re bikers. If tomorrow the sun still shines, we ride. If it rains, we work on bikes. If the stock market continues to slope, we make parts instead of buy them. It’s our life, it’s in our blood. I may be busted up and unable ride for a couple more weeks, but that doesn’t mean I’m not checking out how to fix the Buell when I roll out to Phoenix to pick it up. I’m planning on parts and design for our morale officer’s Pro Street, and still chasing Sin Wu around the headquarters (only slowly). When we can’t ride, we just plan for the next one, ’cause, goddamnit, we’re burnin’ daylight.–Bandit
Redline Compact Camping and Travel Gear
P.O. Box 1113
Lakeville, Minn. 55044
