I used to feel like I didn’t know Schit. And now that I know Schit, my life is SO much more enriched! Jack Schit that is, and our host for Arizona Bike Week! And if you ever feel like you don’t know schit, you should check Jack out. He is THE biker comedian and host of places like the Broken Spoke in Sturgis, and The Dirty Dog Saloon at Arizona Bike Week. Jack can pack a room full of people and keep them laughing and constantly entertained. Staying at his sprawled out ranch style pool home in Mesa Arizona was no exception! Jack and his high school sweetheart and wife Diane already share their home with two blue healers and a gray parrot, but for bike week they put up me and my boyfriend Mark, my pals Qian and Masyn, and a revolving door of visitors like Bean’re and Lola, Teach and his beautiful wife Amy, not to mention guys needing to borrow trailers to rescue their broken down choppers. 
Having just moved to the Colorado Rockies this year, I couldn’t wait to ride some of my favorite roads once the snow started melting! I figured Arizona Bike Week would be the perfect season opener, and planned an excursion from our Hacienda Hideaway thru the red rock mountains of Utah, and down to where the sun always shines! My longtime friend Genevieve has lived out in Montana for years now, and she warned me that it might not be springtime yet, but we remained hopeful until the end. On the morning we were going to leave, the snow flurries deterred us, and we were forced to trailer our bikes thru Utah and near the border we pulled into a familiar place we stayed filming “Motorcycle Women” for the Discovery Channel.
When we woke up the next day, the sun was shining and the weather looked promising. So we unloaded our bikes and left our trailers in Mexican Hat. We took off down my favorite lonely highway thru Monument Valley, and stopped to enjoy the views and have photo ops in the same place where nearly ten years ago helicopters flew over us six girls filming that first show. They had us go back and forth, and back and forth a dozen times on that picture perfect stretch of highway. I think we had about twenty minutes of riding perfection before we realized that the temperature in Monument Valley was only about 38 degrees, and by the time we reached Kayenta, less than an hour down the road, we were wearing every piece of clothing we brought, including rain pants and riding in my Ugg boots!
By the time we got to Jack’s place in Mesa we were happy to feel the late day sun still warming the whole valley. Life within the compound of Jacks walls runs well into the night. He closes down the bar, and usually has an entourage following him afterward. Even a girl that tries to get to bed early cannot sleep thru the story telling and laughter that goes on into the wee hours. So mornings begin slowly at the Schit Zoo……or as slowly as you can stretch them……….thru the variety of noises the bird can emulate! Like the dead battery of a smoke detector, the telephone ringing, or “Hey Jack!”……….
Until he actually woke Jack up, and then you’d hear a variety of mumbling as Jack tried to talk the parrot into going back to sleep! 
Arizona Bike Week has its strong and weak points. First of all, the Phoenix/Scottsdale/Mesa area is large and spread out, and its freeways are crowded and it’s HOT! I don’t go to a bike rally to fight traffic. I go to get away from it. There are obviously spectacular day rides in all directions, but the event location itself was chaotic and your friends are spread all out over the city, and connecting becomes a hassle. The admission price into the event was $40 for the week. Which if you were planning to attend everyday, and go to the daily concerts it might be a bargain. But if you are like us, and wanted to spend the bulk of the time riding with your friends, $40 seemed like a lot to pay for a few hours to walk around and check out the venue. But we decided it was worth it to see my friend, the always-awesome Jasmine Cain, and visit Diva Amy’s bedazzled booth, and pow wow with my Hoka Hey pals at their tee pee. The event was just starting to pick up as the sun was setting and Heart was preparing to take the stage.
We spent our days poking thru near by ghost towns and local hot spots. We interfered while watching gunfights, locked each other in outhouses, and we all got hung for misbehaving among outlaws. 
We rode through local desert and mountain back roads that our host suggested. I wanted hairpin turns and we found them! We rode past crystal blue lakes and stopped for lunch in a local hot spot called Tortilla Flats. We only had one minor break down. Qian’s bike apparently experienced some type of spontaneous combustion in the wiring of her controls. But by the time I even figured out that she was not behind me, four guys had come to the rescue and taped the wires back together and sent her on her way. There are benefits to being a woman rider! Every night we watched a red sky desert sunset that was breath-taking.
By night we were Dirty Dogs until the wee hours, although I did sneak out to Cave Creek one night to have dinner at a cowboy saloon with my mom and her husband Marshall who drove up from Green Valley, Arizona to spend some time with us. My mom still tries to pretend that I don’t have a motorcycle, so please keep my secret! She just thinks I dress weird. She cries if she sees my bike and offers to send me plane tickets to bike rallies. Mark and Genevieve joined us and we ate and visited in a quiet back room while cowboys played Deliverance music and hoards of girls line danced on the dance floor.
The Dirty Dog was wall-to-wall biker madness. Complete with scantly clad girls dancing on the bars, a rockin’ band, and our host with the most, Jack Schit on the mike making sure everybody was laughing and having a good time. And I must say he’s pretty darn good at that! 
My boyfriend actually tries to tell me that he gets embarrassed when I send my stripper girlfriends over to paw on him. Yeah, he looks absolutely mortified, doesn’t he?
So the next time someone says I don’t know Jack Schit, well I beg your pardon, because………for years it was true, I didn’t know Schit! But now I do, I truly do. I mean, I really, really do! Maybe more than I need to!
You can read more about Jack Schit at:
http://www.jackshitsworld.blogspot.com
Or me at:
www.BetsyHuelskamp.com
And for the girls a special site: http://www.womenridersnow.com/
