You’re never too old to learn something new! Although it is not that easy teaching old dogs new tricks! After Arizona Bike Week, I finally moved my rusty ole chopper to my new Colorado Hacienda. When I returned to California to work this past week, it was my first time in California in 25 years without a motorcycle. I thought I might have a panic attack, but then my pal Qian’s ex-boyfriend Reg said I could ride one of his bikes. Not just anyone would lend out his Harley, and Reg never much cared for me when he and Qian were dating. Although, I’d like to say for the record, “Qian’s behavior was never my fault! I swear! You know that right?”
I had seen both of his bikes before, enough to know that borrowing either of them was a privilege. But I had also not paid enough attention to realize was I was getting myself into! He asked me which one I wanted to ride, and I told him that I would take whichever one he didn’t want to ride that day. He said he’d ride the rigid, and asked me if I was okay with the suicide clutch. Well, I had never tried one before, but I’ve been riding 25 years, and I’ve demoed every kind and model of motorcycle launched over the years with Genevieve, the esteemed editor of several women rider books, and the publisher of the biggest women’s web site on the net, WomenRidersNow.com………how hard could it be, right?
So, I got ready for a day of riding the way I always get ready for a day of riding. It was going to be record high temperatures, which called for my favorite halter top, hip huggers and high heel boots! What else would I wear riding? I did think it might be windy on the three- hour ride to Winchester, so at least I had on a pair of chaps when I arrived at Reg’s underground parking facility to pick up my new ride. He walked me over to the bike and gave me a brief here’s where you put the key in, here are your brakes, here’s your clutch, and here’s where you shift. Then he had to peel to his mechanics shop, snatch (there’s that booty think again) the rigid and meet us at Jamba Juice where other riders waited. 
Okay, so I guess I should just say it now. I have a new found respect for Reg, and for all of you suicide clutch riders. Because after he walked away I just sat there, trying to wrap my old dog habits around these new rules. Okay………..there is no neutral light, but I knew I was in neutral because I could roll the bike forward. I turned the bike on, and it was SO loud and powerful I could barely hear myself thinking in that cement underground parking garage full of other polished cars I would hopefully avoid as I departed. My right hand was on the brake, and holding tight! My left foot in its high heel booty had to gently press the clutch down to disengage, and I had to gingerly lift my chap covered boot gently to let the clutch out……..but already my leg was shaking! Holy crap, I haven’t been nervous on a bike in over 20 years!
I turned the bike around manually so that I’d has a straight shot out of the garage, which ended up being a very smart move, because when I finally let go of that brake I shot forward about a hundred feet to where Qian and our new friend Jenna from Sweden were waiting for me with frozen looks of, “oh shit here she comes,” on their faces!
My adrenaline was running so high that I took off out of the parking lot with no helmet, no sunglasses, and no gloves. I calmed myself down enough to know that I just needed to keep my left foot softly operating that clutch, but I learned that apparently the left side of my body is only for looks! My left leg had a very hard time with the gentle part, because the clutch was just too stiff for my weak little leg! And I couldn’t tell if I found neutral, and I needed to put my feet down coming to stop lights, but I couldn’t take my foot off of the clutch unless I WAS in neutral, or I would have two bad choices!
A. Just drop the bike like a nelly girl at a stop sign or B. Shoot off into the sunset like a Rock Star!
Once in the parking lot of Jamba Juice, I felt a fresh new sense of being happy to be alive! ALL of my senses were heightened! I feel obligated to tell you that Reg lives exactly three blocks away from Jamba Juice! I made an executive decision at that point to switch over to the rigid frame for the rest of the day, and come back in the future to learn the suicide clutch, when I wasn’t in a hurry to lead friends on a long day’s ride, and perhaps I could practice in a quiet deserted field, and definitely with flat boots, a leather jacket, gloves, and a helmet! I never felt so exposed to asphalt in my life!
So, off we set for the third annual Hippy Killer Hoedown being held at the Wild West Arena in Winchester, California. Switching to the rigid made me feel about as safe as riding a bucking bronco around the barrels! The rigid had no front brakes, and on what seems like a normal stretch of highway catapulted my 117lbs. a foot into the air on every uneven slab of pavement! And when I landed back down on his seemingly cement seat my 1970s zodiac boots would slip and slide right off of his straight, smooth foot pegs, and gravity reminded me that there was a road passing under me at a rapid pace. I didn’t want to leave pieces of my boots on the unforgiving concrete! And a week later, my left hand was still stuck in a gripped position from how stiff his hand clutch was. I felt like such a………..girl or was that Booty!
The Hippy Killer event had no shortage of classic cars, vintage bikes, and cool people. Even if you’ve been to a lot of these shows, this one really did have the coolest of the cool dudes representing.
Our friend Bean’re was there, but of course he was! Bean’re is everywhere! If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is there to hear or see it, does it make a sound? If they hold a bike event, and Bean’re isn’t there to host it, is it really even a biker event?
Despite the ridiculously hot sun beating down on us all day in the middle of God’s country, everybody just kicked back in whatever piece of shade they could find or create.
In addition to the customs there was live music playing all day, food & giveaways, and vendors galore. The flavored slushy booth was a huge hit in the hot sun.
My longtime favorite builders from Evil Spirit Engineering had their booth set up with a couple of their builds that displayed some of the amazing detail they do on their bikes.
One of the things I love most about afternoon bike events includes the families who come out and the enthusiasm of the cute kids looking at and enjoying the motorcycle world.
As always, the fun for me was being able to spend some time with friends, old and new doing what we love to do.
Facebook has been an outlet that has brought bikers from around the world together. Qian met our new friend Jenna on Facebook. She is a new rider from Sweden, and Qian hooked up her ex-boyfriend Reg with the Maude Adams look alike. Now I’d say that’s a pretty generous gesture on Qian’s behalf, so perhaps the karmic dues between Qian and Reg are almost paid? Well, like I said, they are still working on that!
As a life long hippy myself, I am not sure I understand why anyone would want to kill the harmless hippies! But facing the long ride home on that wicked rigid made me wonder if some hippy hater had paid Reg to off me! Putting all of my problems aside, riding the Booty bike down the road was a day to remember! Onlookers watching me and Qian on her own rigid catching air off of every bump as we flew home smiled, waved and gave us the thumbs up. I thank Reg for the opportunity to learn something new, and look forward to getting back on that V-rod at a later date!
