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NEW SURGICAL STEEDS CREATION–Watch for a full feature on the bike above on Bikernet in the next week. There’s always something new stirring.
ARE WE COMMUNICATING??– A man spoke frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnantand her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
“Is this herfirst child?” the doctor asked. “No!” the man shouted, “This is herhusband!”
–from Rogue
A CHRISTMAS POEM–
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the pad,
There was nada happenin’, now thats pretty bad.
The woodstove was hung up in that stocking routine,
In hopes that the Fat Boy would soon make the scene.
With our stomachs packed with tacos and beer,
My girl and I crashed on the couch for some cheer.
When out in the yard there arose such a racket,
I ran for the door and pulled on my jacket.
I saw a large bro’ on a ’56 Pan
Wearin’ black leathers, a cap, and boots (cool biker, man).
He hauled up the bars on that bikeful of sacks,
And that Pan hit the roof like it was running on tracks.
I couldn’t help gawking, the old guy had class.
But I had to go in — I was freezing my ass.
Down through the stovepipe he fell with a crash,
And out of the stove he came dragging his stash.
With a smile and some glee he passed out the loot,
A new jacket for her and some parts for my scoot.
He patted her fanny and shook my right hand,
Spun on his heel and up the stovepipe he ran.
From up on the roof came a great deal of thunder,
As that massive V-twin ripped the silence asunder.
With beard in the wind, he roared off in the night,
Shouting, “Have a cool Yule, and to all a good ride!”
–TBEAR
“If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.”
– Johnny Carson
–from Kris. B.
EMISSIONS OUT OF CONTROL — The National Coalition of Motorcyclists (NCOM) is urging all concerned motorcyclists and motorcycle organizations to write to the federal Environmental Protection Agency and voice their opposition to new EPA motorcycle emissions regulations which will drastically alter the way motorcycles are built in the future by reducing allowable tailpipe emissions by more than 80%, necessitating the use of catalytic converters, fuel injection and liquid cooling.
The EPA has extended their comment period until January 7 to allow concerned motorcyclists to respond to their proposed rulemaking. You can write to the EPA at the following address:
Margaret Borushko
US EPA
National Vehicle & Fuels Emissions Laboratory
2000 Traverwood
Ann Arbor MI 48105
*Refer to: Docket A-2000-01 (Emission Control Issue)
NCOM has sent letters to nearly 2,000 motorcycle shops enrolled in their Independent Shop Program (ISP) nationwide, urging them to comment on the EPA proposed new emissions standards, as well as contact their congressional representatives and urge them to co-sponsor HR 5433, the ?Motorcycle and Motorcycling Small Business Protection Act,? introduced by U.S. Representative James Barcia of Michigan. Also known as the Barcia Act, this legislation would establish reasonable emissions standards for street motorcycles and will safeguard thousands of small businesses threatened by the EPA rulemaking.
?The Barcia Act will safeguard jobs and protect motorcycling in America, thereby reducing fuel consumption, traffic congestion and air pollution,? writes Richard Lester, Founder of NCOM.
Please contact your congressman today, because tomorrow may be too late!
Watch for more news on upcoming EPA regs in the Bikernet Rights Department.
BIKERNET OZARK REPORT, CLOSE CALL–There’s this guy, panty man danny and he was having a party at his house Saturday night. Danny has a barbershop and does airbrush painting on the side. Titty bar Mike likes him, but I tend to think of him as a “hairdresser and an artist”. I call him panty man because he told us he wears gel filled underwear when he rides his bike. Me and Danny have clashed several times and I know it’s been my fault.
He used to date this chick Rochelle and she had a job that was sorta like what I do. When I see her we talk the whole time. Panty man never liked it, and he would come over and ask what we were doing and we would just talk over him. He knew what we were talking about and had no interest in it, but he didn’t like me spending that much time with her. It was innocent and he knew it, but he didn’t like it. He never said to stop or anything like that!
He broke up with rochelle and started dating the juvee girl at the beginning of last summer. I met her about that time and as you know we hit it off. I knew that he was taking her to the drag races on Mothers Day this year and me and juvee girl flirted with each other every time Isaw her before the races. Well that Saturday night at the races is where it all began with me and her and Danny could tell. She was on my bike all night and was ignoring him.
Late that night panty man asked me why don’t I go spend time with my own girl, who was there with Miss Kitty. I was very drunk and my girl was trying to get me to stop riding. The parking lot makes a circle around the track and me and juvee girl had been riding the circle with the rest of the crowd. After panty man said something I decided that it was time to sit for a while. I didn’t want a big ole deal at the party because I was just messing around with the chick and didn’t really care. He knew though that she wanted to spend the time with me instead of him. They quit seeing each other right after that, and he has seen me and her together several times. The tension is still there.
Friday night at miss kittys, Panty man told me and Skitzo about his party. Titty bar Mike and Miss Kitty had already talked my girl into going, and I knew I wasn’t going to get out of it. I tried to talk Skitzo into going but he wouldn’t commit. I called him at the shop on Saturday right before he got off work, and he said if I could talk Phillip’s girl into going he would go. I talked to her and she decided to go. Skitzo said he would call me before they left and we were going to hook up and burn before the party.
Shit started happening at my house and at 8 was waiting for Slim shady Shaun to come over to help me with something. Titty bar Mike and Miss Kitty were waiting for me at their house. Skitzo called and said he was at the party. “When was I coming?”
I thought he was coming over to my house, first. Then I figured it out. He brought juvee girl and was planning on putting me in a trick bag. He decided to spice up the party by getting my girl, Phillip’s girl, me and the juvenile all at the same place and drinking. After talking to him on the phone, I knew something was up. I called Phillip’s girl, and she told me juvee girl was there. I stalled and stalled and stalled. I knew juvee girl didn’t want to be at Panty man’s so by the time we got there they were gone. Narrow miss. Nice try. I’ll get skitzo for the attempt, although, you gotta love it.
–Ozark Ed
NEW STURGIS FILMS– Hi, my name is Ryan Thiel and I’m a director and editor for Road Weary Films Inc. My brother and I?have been?directing independent films and documentaries?for the past few years in Chicago, Ill.?Most of our family is from South Dakota so it?seemed inevitable that we would make?a Sturgis Doc. This past year we captured a great party. Some of the events include hillclimbs, dragraces, coleslaw wrestling, scenes from the?bars and late night rides, also, segements on?the?Buffalo Chip, Glencoe, Huelett,?the rides in the hills, etc… So far we’ve had great reviews, Mike Sanbourn, Marketing Director at Buffalo Chip, said “it was the best Sturgis film I’ve seen.”?We also take a look into the culture through numerious interviews and the introduction of new characters (people we meet and followed, obtaining the true essence of the biker)?that will be seen in the following films. ??
?We will be releasing the film on DVD, VHS, and PAL for international orders?this next week. We are selling are videos at roadwearyfilms.com. We are also selling the video on other websites and custom shops nationally at a bulk rate.?If you would like to see our product, the front cover and a brief discription of the video can be found at our website. You can also contact me or?Dave Lowe, manager of distribution, at our toll free number 1-888-214-3901 or (605) 716-9394 for a look at the film.??
–Ryan Thiel
Road Weary Films
THE DIXIE RIDER REPORT–I don’t write often, because I know you’ve got more to do than read useless email from folks like me, but I wanted to let you know about our new and improved web site. If I’ve done this right, you should be looking at the new front page of Dixie Rider .com with hot links and everything. If you click on the Dixie Rider logo, that will take you to the website.
April- Dixie Rider is sponsoring a new type of rally here in Swainsboro Georgia in April. The Saturday before Easter, April 19, Dixie Rider is sponsoring the Black Jacket Road Master Rally. This is a time, distance, and speed road rally that will test your ability to maintain a set speed throughout the entire ride. The winner will be the person who comes closest to an average speed of 48 mph. (no GPS, Computers or electronic assisted motorcycles allowed.) Stopwatches and simple calculators are the only devices that will be allowed. The winner will receive the Black leather Jacket with the Champion embroidered patch on the breast. Entry is $25.00 and each person who enters will receive a t-shirt.
June- The Iron Cavalry Reunion. We’ll host it again this year in Helen Georgia.?June 6-8. We’ll announce special?room/rally packages?soon.
The Web Site- New Readers Pics? We’ve spent the last couple of days uploading a bunch of reader submitted photographs, and photos from Tommy Pittard and?Miserable George, ?our roving photo journalists. Send us an email if you’d like someone to cover your event and post your event photos on our web site. I can’t promise that we can get to all of them, but who knows, we might get to yours. Click here to visit the photo index page Goodbye to a friend- On a sad note, Daytona recently lost a well known tattoo artist, Charlie at Willie’s Tropical Tattoo passed away recently. Willies gets a lot of biker business during Bike Week and Biketoberfest and it’s possible that many of you have a tat that Charlie inked. He was well loved and will be missed. New issues on Web Site- Many of you know that we’ve tried various means to post our issues each month on the web without much success. The problem is that using conventional means, getting an issue on site each month is time consuming. We think we have solved the problem using low-res PDF’s. So beginning with the January issue, we’ll post our edition on the web each month by the first week in the month. If you don’t have a subscription, or can’t get to a motorcycle shop this will benefit you. Each issue will post exactly as it would appear if you held it in your hands. You can even print it out. You’ll need Adobe Reader for this but it’s free and 99% of you already have it on your computer. Those of you still on modem dial up may have slightly longer download times but cable and DSL modem folks will blaze right through it. Let us know what you think about this new service. Keeping you entertained and informed, that’s our job. O.K. I hope this year’s holidays are good to each of you and that your New Year is full of joy and hope. I also hope it’s full of money, in fact so much money that you’ll need a good tax write off and will sponsor me in my quest to drink a beer in every major city in the United States in 2003. Think of it, you could be a part of something big. Something truly historic. Well…..maybe not historic, but I can promise you it’d be fun. Uh…not fun for you…I’d be the one traveling and drinking…. but fun for me…after all, it was my idea….I only need you for the money……I will buy you a t-shirt.. Remember, submit your events for the 2003 calendar, submit your guess for the front page each month (and possibly win a 2003 edition of the Bikers Atlas) and submit your pictures you have taken at the parties you attended…it’s your Dixie Rider, help us make it the best motorcycle rag it can be! Ride Safe, and always take the road less traveled by. Scott Cochran, Editor WOMEN–Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.? –from Buckshot MERRY GODDAMN CHRISTMAS–I’m outta here. I was contacted by the esteemed editor, Joshua Placa, of Cruising Rider. He told me in no uncertain terms that I was to find a new Victory Vega and convince the owner, ’cause I don’t steal scoots, that he should allow me to road test the sucker and shoot it for the cover of a magazine. I’ll report on that later. Watch the site in the next couple of weeks. If I can avoid the holidays for a couple of days and sequester my ass away from the parties, you’ll see a myriad of colorful features and tech articles jump onto the site. If not, don’t blame it on the holidays and a certain Tennessee distiller. Try to relax and have a helluva good time during the holidays. –Bandit
Dixie Rider Motorcycle News 
