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Party At Bikernet!—
Hey Bandit,
Where the fuk are you exactly?
Was a huge party at the Bikernet headquarters last night … kinda weird Layla said it was a make bandit fly home and fuk me party? We all donated $15 bucks, there was a silent auction too. I bought the desk and panhead, only cost 2 grand!
Figure I can sell Jesse the pan and keep the desk, or is it the other way around?
Come home goddamit
Chris Chrome
Her side of the story:
He was in an odd mood Sunday night. We planned to meet at a bar for adrink.I spent the afternoon shopping with the girls and I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit later than I promised, but he didn’t say anything much about it.The conversation was very slow going so I thought we should go offsomewhere> more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and startedto wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn’t really sure. So anyway, in the car on the way back home, Isaid that I loved him deeply and he just put his arm around me. I didn’t know what the hell that meant because you know he didn’t say it back or anything.
We finally got back home and I was wondering if he was going to leave me! So I tried to get him to talk but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly,I said I was going to go to bed. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined meand to my surprise, we made love. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to confront him but I just cried myself tosleep.
I just don’t know what to do anymore. I mean, I really think he’s seeing someone else.
His Side of the Story
Can’t believe the fuckin’ Yankees lost. Got laid though.
12/29The Doobie Brothers Live in Concert
Konocti Harbor and Resort
Clearlake, California
A tribute to drummer Michael Hossack’s recovery from a serious motorcycleaccident
Featuring a special auction:
Exclusive rock n roll memorabilia from different legends and artists
Exclusive items from Harley-D corporate
Exclusive hot rod custom bike designed by Mike and signed by all The DoobieBros.
For more info: www.doobiebros.com
God bless you all and thanks so much for any help you can give!
S’miles,
Sasha
Corny Spuds—
Well, Mr. and Mrs. Potato had eyes for each other, and finally they got married, and had a little sweet potato, who they called ‘Yam’. Of course, they wanted the best for Yam. When it was time, they told her about the facts of life. They warned her about going out and getting half-baked, so she wouldn’t get accidentally mashed, and get a bad name for herself like ‘Hot Potato’, and end up with a bunch of Tater Tots.
Yam said not to worry, no Spud would get her into the sack and make a rotten potato out of her! But on the other hand she wouldn’t stay home and become a Couch Potato, either. She would get plenty of exercise so as not to be skinny like her Shoestring cousins. When she went off to Europe, Mr. and Mrs. Potato told Yam to watch out for the Hard Boiled guys from Ireland. And the greasy guys from France called the French Fries. And when she went out west, to watch out for the Indians so she wouldn’t get scalloped.
Yam said she would stay on the straight and narrow and wouldn’t associate with those high-class Yukon Golds. Mr. and Mrs. Potato sent Yam to Idaho P.U. (that’s Potato University) so that when she graduated she’d really be in the Chips. But in spite of all they did for her, one-day Yam came home and announced she was going to marry Tom Brokaw. Tom Brokaw!
Mr. and Mrs. Potato were very upset. They told Yam she couldn’t possibly marry Tom Brokaw because he was just a…
Common Tater
Finger Lickin? Good—
Hey Bandit,
Q: What does eating at KFC and a woman have in common?
A: When you are done with the breast and thighs you>have a greasy box to put your bone in.
Ride Free….
Stich
Good Ol’ Generous Motors (& Ford, too) etc..
Check out Harley Davidson …
BUY AMERICAN, OK???
Which Motor Company Cares About the USA?
After seeing a short news listing on “CNN Headline News” regarding Ford andGM’s contributions to the relief and recovery efforts in New York City andWashington, DC, I was prompted to see what the other automotive companieswere contributing. It is important to know which companies are there for usin a crisis. I went to (the news, press release and philanthropic areasof) each of the companies’ web sites. If the company had several sites, Itried to visit them all.Additionally, I visited the leading news and automotive sites. This is whatI have found:
Aston Martin – Nothing.
Audi – Nothing. Audi’s web site states “Audi News: Always up to theminute.”
BMW – Nothing despite other press releases/postings since 09/11/01. Lastupdated 09/13/01.
Daewoo International – Nothing.
Daimler Chrysler (includes Dodge, Jeep, Mercedes-Benz and Plymouth) – $10million to support the children and victims in addition to otherdonations from their employees, dealers, and suppliers.
Fiat – Nothing.
Ford Motor Company (includes Jaguar, Lincoln, Mazda, Mercury and Volvo) – $1million to the American Red Cross, matching employee contributions to theAmerican Red Cross and 10 Excursions to the New York Fire Department. Thecompany has also offered emergency response team services and office spaceto displaced government employees.
General Motors (includes Buick, Cadillac, Chevrolet, Oldsmobile,Pontiac, Saab and Saturn) – $1 million to the American Red Cross, matchingemployee contributions and a fleet of vans, trucks and SUVs.
Harley-Davidson Motor Cycles – Donated one million dollars and 30 newmotorcycles to the NYPD to assist in relief efforts and replace motor cycleslost in the attack. Harley-Davidson’s own employees drove the cycles to NYin a day and a half and turned over the keys personally to the NYC MotorDivision. Check out their website at www.harleydavidson.com for info andpictures of their generosity.
Honda (includes Acura) – Nothing. “The latest news on Honda can always befound right here?” No press releases/postings since 9/04/01 when the releaseboasted “American Honda Motor Company,Inc., recorded its second best salesmonth ever in August.” My search included: hondamotorcycle.com [other pressreleases posted on this site since 9/11/01
Hyundai Motors Group (includes Kia) — $300,000 to the American Red Cross.
Isuzu – Nothing.
Mitsubishi Motors – Nothing. Mitsubishi-motors.co.jp site states,”The latest news about Mitsubishi Motors.” I also searchedmitsubishimotors.com.
Nissan – Nothing despite other press releases/postings since 9/11/01.
Porsche – Nothing. Press release with condolences posted on the Porsche website on 09/12/01, but no contribution.
Subaru – Nothing. Despite other press releases/postings since 09/11/01.
Suzuki – Nothing.
Toyota (includes Lexus) -Nothing. Press release with condolences posted onthe Toyota web site on 09/14/01, but no contribution, despite earlier pressreleases boasting that Toyota had high sales in July and August.
Volkswagen – The employees and management created a Foundation, fundedinitially with $2 million, to assist the children and victims withhumanitarian help including medical and psychological assistance,rehabilitation and scholarships.
We have the freedom to choose which companies we make purchases from and I,for one, will make my purchases from and give my money to the companies thatare giving their money to America at this time of need. I hope that youwill, too. We can only hope that it is an oversight by the companies thathave not made a contribution and that they will join the relief efforts.
Bikernet Funnies
Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards: NAIVE.
Isn’t making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
OK…so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the “Jags” andtheTampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the “Bucs,” what does that make theTennessee Titans?
If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea…does that mean that 1enjoys it?
There are three religious truths:
1. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
2. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of theChristian faith.
3. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or atHooters.
Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because Jewish women won’t touch anything unless it is 20% off.
What’s the definition of a teenager? God’s punishment for enjoyingsex.
Define Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
What’s the difference between the Pope and your boss? The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
Why is a government worker like a shotgun with a broken firing pin? It won’t work and you can’t fire it.
My mind works like lightning: One brilliant flash and it is gone.
Never trust a stockbroker who’s married to a travel agent.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you’re in thebathroom.
A husband is someone who takes out the trash and gives the impression he just cleaned the whole house.
My next house will have no kitchen; just vending machines.
My blond girlfriend told me, “I was worried that my mechanic mighttry to rip me off, but I was so relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid.”
I’m so depressed… I went to the Dr. today and he refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. Said it would be like putting a newflagpole on a condemned building.
Well, did you get your fill of bullshit?
Bandit’s out cruzin’ on the SS Leon and I ain’t got no more time to waste on this digital rag, there’s women out there lonely for my manly charms. And if they ain’t, screw ’em. Which I intend to do.
I guess I’m supposed to sign off with one of Bandit’s witty sayings.
Well, all I can say is, stay between the ditches and away from any babe I’m scoping out.
Snake
