News

Continued From Page 1FOR MEN TIRED OF RECEIVING MALE-BASHING JOKES How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman? Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will […]

“Damn?.where the f?Huh? Wha?? We’re on? Shit! You mean I gotta’ talk? I just wandered in here looking for a bottle opener. So now you want me to introduce the Thursday News? Damn.” Sin Wu screeched at me from somewhere in the house. I usually try to avoid the den of sex kittens she has

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH…. Continued From Page 2 THE FINAL CHAPTER– A dense fog sat off the coast of Egypt as we steamed close yesterday morning and delayed our entrance into the Suez Canal by a couple of hours. As we entered we experienced something we have never endured in any port in the United States

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH…. Continued From Page 1Puss-In-Boots In The Nude! Well, sorta. Don?t keep scrolling down guys, you?re not going to see her ass.I put a call out last week for your pictures of tattoos. I?ve only received a couple of responses so?.. Come on you people?.. Send me your tattoos! With your submission to

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH…. If you’ve been staying on top of this mess, fine. If you just stumbled in here, you’re in for a surprise. I’m supposed to write a stunning motorcycle related news column weekly, but I can’t. No, I wasn’t run over by four old golfers in Palm Springs. I’m on a tramp freighter

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH-VON DUTCH JOINS, JOSE’S BACK AND THE MARINES REPORT IN (CONTINUED)_ Continued From Page 1VON DUTCH COMES TO BIKERNET–We’re pleased to report that Von Dutch will continue his rebel artistic legacy through a line of products with the classic Von Dutch label and they will be featured in the gift shop of Bikernet.com.

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH-VON DUTCH JOINS, JOSE’S BACK AND THE MARINES REPORT INAs usual, I don’t have any notion of how to kick this thing off. As most of you know, I was found guilty of a terrible crime and tossed aboard a corroding German vessel for five months of international community service. That’s the reason

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH-VON DUTCH JOINS, JOSE’S BACK AND THE MARINES REPORT IN (CONTINUED)_ Continued From Page 2BrainsIn the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tiredand somber. “I’m afraid I’m the bearer of bad news” he said as he surveyed the

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH – JESSE JAMES JOINS SAN PEDRO POLICE FORCE (CONTINUED)Continued From Page 2A Word From Beautiful Brenda—As I was putting this news together, I received a phone call from our resident model/spokeswoman/mistress of ceremonies/ray of sunshine – Brenda Fox.She told me a story about Richard, the dude who bought the Blue Flame. She

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH – JESSE JAMES JOINS SAN PEDRO POLICE FORCE (CONTINUED)Continued From Page 1 INSIDER HORSE TRADING–Recently, our Web master and bad guy sleuth, the Digital Gangster, began to sneak links into bike mag e-mail portals so we can scoop up insider information on several magazines. Here?s a report on the outlandish chopper mag

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH – JESSE JAMES JOINS SAN PEDRO POLICE FORCE Thank Thor, the god of iron and silver, that he did. I needed a contact on the inside of a cop shop last week. As usual, I don?t know where to start this week. I?m still sitting on the rusting bucket of moneymaking (I

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH — MUTINY ON CHRISTMAS DAY, BLOOD FLOWSFirst, a word from the women.We women here at the Bikernet headquarters are still recuperating from Christmas, birthdays and all that other shit. You get a short News this week cause we don?t feel like working. We ran out of the mixings for White Russians so

MERRY X-MAS FROM AROUND THE WORLD! Continued From Page 2Like I said bikers dig an adventure, like Dave Barr, the ex-mercenary/double amputee who has ridden all over the goddamn world on various Harleys and written a couple of books. Since he’s already done that with a lot of class, I had to do something different.

MERRY X-MAS AROUND THE WORLD! Continued From Page 1Big Bore Report –Part 1 – Put about 550 miles on the new Dyna and it was slow. So… This week wetook it all apart, attached is a picture. We are in the process ofinstalling: 6200 RPM ignition box and new coil, 44 millimeter SE CV carb,211

Merry Christmas Around The World Some people think these Bikernet reports are the result of too much whiskey and bad LSD. Others know for a fact that they are real square business. For a new reader who rolls into this Web site expecting only motorcycle info, you have a surprise ahead. Why, you may wonder,

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–EXCELSIOR-HENDERSON STRUCK DOWN AGAIN Continued From Page 2Bikernet JokeThe head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, “Hey, let’s take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door.” So

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–EXCELSIOR-HENDERSON STRUCK DOWN AGAIN Continued From Page 1The WCC No. 2 is ready to be put together. We are waiting for the paint todry and some parts are still on back order. If things go as planned, we will have the whole build next week here onBikernet. But wait, there’s more. WCC No.

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH–EXCELSIOR-HENDERSON STRUCK DOWN AGAINA Note From Sin—As I sit here at my computer trying to put together some sort of news for you, my mind drifts between fantasy and reality as I know many people do daily. Just from talking to different Bikernet readers, many wonder what?s real and what?s bullshit on this

News Flash – Doobies Rock And Bandit Reports In! Continued From Page 2 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Party At Bikernet!—Hey Bandit,Where the fuk are you exactly? Was a huge party at the Bikernet headquarters last night … kinda weird Layla said it was a make bandit fly home and fuk me party? We all donated $15 bucks, there was

News Flash – Doobies Rock And Bandit Reports In! Continued From Page 1 Cool Chopper!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Bikernet Caribbean Report—After endless delays, lines and numerous securtity checks, we finally madeit back from Phoenix. No wonder the airlines are close to flopping, theyare a disaster! A flight that normally takes six hours took us more than12. Anyway, we just

New Flash – Doobies Rock And Bandit Reports In!Hey out there, all you thin-lipped, slim-hipped, tight-assed women who may frequent San Pedro’s The Spot on Pacific Avenue, this is Snake talkin’ to ya. I’ll be there next Friday night. I just got paid and I’ve got $10 more than I’m gonna keep. I don’t know

NEWS FLASH —- BANDIT LOST AT SEA (CONTINUED) Continued From Page 1~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Have you heard the news? They found bin Ladin!They dumped Viagra all over Afghanistan and that little prick just poppedright up! Don’t know how true this is, but it gives one pause.You know, it’s funny. I remember very vividly the Oliver North hearings, butdid

BIKERNET NEWS FLASH—BANDIT LOST AT SEAIt was time to roll. Layla was getting on my case, Sin Wu wasn’t satisfied with just lunch quickies, and Coral, well, I won’t go there. It was time to pack my sea bag and make for the coast. I hadn’t hit an airport since the terrorist attacks and completely