February, 1, 2001 Part 2

LOOKING FOR BUCK KNIFE–I am interested in a Buck 192MS knife. I found one on the Bikernet page.

–Dondonstickel@hotmail.com

HERE ARE THE FACTS– Citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929; “7” was selectedbecause the original containers were 7 ounces. “UP” indicated thedirection of the bubbles.

Mosquito repellents don’t repel. They hide you. The spray blocksthe mosquito’s sensors so they don’t know you’re there.

Dentists recommend that a toothbrush be kept at least 6 feetaway from a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute forblood plasma.

–KR

BANDIT’S CANTINA COMING–You’ve heard of Stephen King, you’ve heard of Disneyland, you’ve taken magic mushrooms. Now comes Bandit’s Cantina, a rough ride into a slippery, devilish, action- packed area of Bikernet — for those who haven’t had enough. In just a month you’ll be able to read e-books, gaze at some of the hottest babes in biking, play games, get sexual advice, find a biker-friendly bar in your neighborhood and much, much more. Watch for it. Coming to computers near you.

Here are two pics of the same guy using up a lot of tire on his Buell at Sturgis, Aug. 2000–Helen Wolfe

Sonny Barger Report–Sonny will be in Boston this weekend, Feb. 3-4, atthe New England Motorcycle Spectacular. Come meethim and get your copy of Hell’s Angel signed by thelegend himself. Click here for a map and directions:http://sonnybarger.com/nav_tour.html

Already a best seller in the U.S. and U.K., the Germantranslation of Hell’s Angel goes on sale today byEuropa Verlag.Other editions are coming in Italy, Turkey, Estonia,Sweden, Denmark, Norway, and Japan.http://sonnybarger.com/nav_book.html

New on the Web site:Streaming audio, over an hour in all, of four classicradio interviews, including “Radio Chick” on WNEW.Classic! (scroll to bottom of the page)http://sonnybarger.com/nav_press.html

A new photo gallery shows Sonny with fans and friendson the Book Tour 2000.http://sonnybarger.com/nav_photo.html

MAW IS OUTSIDE– hangin up the laundry, when she hearsPaw in the kitchen. Mawwalks in and says, “Paw, get out there and fix thatthere outhouse.”

Paw says, “All right, Maw.” Paw walks out to theouthouse, looks at it,and says, “Maw, there ain’t nothin’ wrong with thishere outhouse!”

Maw says, “Yes, there is. Put your head down in thehole.”

Paw says “I ain’t puttin my head in that there hole!”

Maw says, “Well you’re gonna have to if’n you’re gonnafix the problem!”

Paw puts his head down in the hole (just a little bitmindya) and he hollers, “Maw, there ain’t nothin’ wrongwith this hereouthouse!”

Maw hollers, “Now pull your head out of the hole.”

Pawgoes to lift up hishead and he says, “Oww! OWW! Maw! MAW, my beard’sstuck in the cracks in theseat!”

Maw says, “Aggravatin’, ain’t it?”

–Glen R.


H-D DEDICATES 2001 RACE SEASON TO REBUILDING VR 1000 SUPERBIKE PROGRAM–Company to Increase Resources, Restructure Development and Organization ofRace Team

Focused on strengthening its VR 1000Superbike racing program, Harley-Davidson will devote 2001 to a rebuildingeffort, the company has announced. Among several initiatives,Harley-Davidson will restructure and expand the development program of theVR 1000.”We’ve begun an aggressive effort we believe is necessary to move theprogram forward,” said John Baker, director of racing. “The 2001 racingseason will be a rebuilding year. But this change is necessary to get uswhere we expect to be in the future.”Increased funding will drive the development program and provide greaterresources in both manpower and hardware.

Organizationally, the new development effort will be focused internally. Asa result, engineers from Harley-Davidson Research and Development will workin close concert with partners at Buell, and will begin work immediately torealize the performance potential of the VR 1000.”By tapping our vast internal engineering capabilities, we’re confident wecan improve,” said Baker. “Our racers, Pascal Picotte and Mike Smith, areexcited about the new direction of development and the rewards it will bringthe program in the future.”Harley-Davidson will increase its involvement with Cosworth Racing and FordRacing and continue its long association with Gemini Racing Technologies,which will maintain some development duties and provide all race teamoperation functions.

“We expect our partnerships with Cosworth Racing, Ford Racing and GeminiRacing will yield results, and we’re pleased to continue our relationshipwith them,” said Baker.Harley-Davidson’s VR 1000 Superbike team will open the AMA season March 7-11at the Daytona 200 in Daytona Beach, Fla.

A SALOON LEGEND IS GONE– I don’t know if anybody has sent you anything about the servicesfor Don Himes so I thought I would. There were about 200 people at thefuneral; it was standing-room only in the chapel. There weren’t nearly asmany clubs represented as you’d have expected considering that they wereall welcome at La Vida and a lot of them frequented the place. Someof the clubs that had members there were the Viet Nam Vets, RighteousOnes, Mongols, Loners and a couple others.

During the service there was anopportunity to stand and speak and a lot of people did. They all said thesame thing; Don was one of the last good guys, treated everyone the same(no politics), and that he and La Vida were going to be greatly missed. Iknow that I used to love getting there early Sunday, just after openingand have breakfast with the place almost to myself except for a couple ofthe canyon locals and of course Gypsy. The ride through the canyon’s earlymorning mist, the fire in the fireplace when you got there and the quietof the canyon; I’m sure going to miss that place. To quote FreddieMercury, “Another one bites the dust.” It’s a goddamn shame!

–Steve

COMPUTER VIRUS WARNINGS– Computer VirusTHE CLINTON Virus….(Gives you a 7-Inch hard drive with NO memory.)

THE BOB DOLE (AKA: VIAGRA) virus…(Makes a new hard drive out of an old floppy.)

THE LEWINSKY virus…(Sucks all the memory out of your computer, then e-mails everyone about whatit did.)

THE RONALD REAGAN virus….(Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.)

THE MIKE TYSON virus….(Quits after two bytes.)

THE OPRAH WINFREY virus….(Your 300mb hard drive shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands torestabilizearound 200mb.)

My friends, I give you THE DUMBEST GUY ON EARTH!

This picture is real – not doctored in anyway – and was taken last week by atransportation supervisor for a company that delivers building materialsfor 84 Lumber. When he saw it in the parking lot of IHOP, he wentand bought a camera to take pictures.

The car is still running, as can be witnessed by the exhaust. A woman iseither asleep or otherwise out in the front seat passenger side. The guydriving it was jogging up and down on Route 925 (in the background).

Witnesses said their physical state was OTHER than normal. The driverfinally came back after the police were called and was found crouchedbehind the rear of the car, attempting to cut the twine around theload! Luckily, the police stopped him and had the load removed.

The materials were loaded at Home Depot. Their store manager said theyhad the customer sign a waiver. While the plywood and 2-by-4s are fairly obvious,what you can’t see is the back seat, which contains — are you ready for this? –10 bags of concrete at 80 pounds each. They estimated the load weight at 3,000 pounds.

Both back tires exploded, the wheels bent and the back shocks were driven throughthe floorboard. The car, with Florida plates (naturally), was headed for Annapolis, wherethe couple presumably planned to build a new house in which to smoke their crack.

TEMPTATION ISLAND TEMPTRESS IS FASTDATES.COM IRON AND LACE CALENDAR GIRL–

“How cheesy!” exclaimed Mary as she watched Perfect 10 magazine covergirl and 2002 FastDates.com calendar model Vanessa Norris planting kisses on Mary’s boyfriend Billy in a video replay of Billy and Vanessa’s date together. It all unfolded on the new FOX hit TV show Temptation Island were four pairs of long-term couples are placed on a romantic tropical beach resort, separated from their soulmates, and sent out on daylong dates with a bevy of sexy single seduction artists. The most seductive female of which has to be our very own sexy Vanessa, who we recently photographed for the upcoming FastDates.com 2002 Mikuni Iron & Lace Calendar with a hot custom from premier bike builder Mike Berg.


C.J.’S ENGRAVING CLASSICS–We’re about to launch a serious article about a lost art–metal engraving–and one of the last, if not the only, motorcycle engraver left on the planet. His story is as terrifying as the art he produces. If you want something purely unique, truly custom, then this is the way to go. Here are some examples of his art. The mag lights are available on his Web site. Just click and go. Next week we’ll be premiering a billet wheel pulley clock made by C.J. He’s only making 10 of them.

THUNDER OVER DIXIE NEWS– How many times can you go to Daytona Beach, Myrtle Beach or Sturgisbefore you decide that your Harley doesn’t ride on rails leading to the sameold places with the same old T-shirt vendors? Remember how you used to telleveryone the reason you rode Harleys was for the freedom? Well, it’s time toset yourself free.

How about some adventure? As promised, after the runaway success of ThunderOver Dixie, we’re planning more Thunder events for 2001. The next is south ofthe border into Old Mexico for Thunder Over Mazatlan and it’s going to beawesome.

We’re roaring off on a 10-day fiesta to Mazatlan where we’ll bea big part of their Cinco de Mayo celebrations. Fiestas and parades every dayon the route, all in our honor. We’ll handle border details the night beforethe border crossing, and we’ll supply luggage vans, translators and security.

Security? Absolutely. Probably won’t need it, but we’ve got it. You canrelax knowing that when out of sight, your motorcycle will be secure. To ensure this is the best ride ever, Thunder has joinedforces with Pancho Villa Moto Tours, the most experienced American motorcycletouring company conducting tours into Mexico. With 20 years of experienceleading riders through Latin America, Pancho Villa Motor Tours’ owner SkipMascorro and his staff are thoroughly familiar with riding inMexico.

Thunder Over Mazatlan starts April 30 at the Rio Rico resort, which isjust a few miles south of Tucson, Ariz.

INCLUSIONS:
Eight nights accommodations, best available
Seven breakfasts, six evening meals
T-shirt and cap
Support vehicle and riding bilingual staff
Maps and tour information kit
Select tolls (conditions apply)
DOES NOT INCLUDE: Medical or motorcycle insurance, fuels, any tolls otherthan those authorized, alcoholic beverages, tipping for individual servicesor individual luggage handling
TOUR PRICE: $1,769 per rider; $1,595 per passengerAnyone in a single occupancy room, additional $420.

1928 SHOVELHEAD COMING ALONG–In this shot you can see the rear fender initial fitment by Jim from Easyriders of Dallas, and the master eyeing the seat placement. More to come shortly.

WHATTA BREAK–The sun is shining and the air is warm and fresh. I can see the blue Pacific lapping at the breakwater. Most of the party-goers are out of jail and roaming the streets once again. Nuutboy and I visited Kenny Samson and collected enough scraps of exhaust pipes to build John Buttera’s pipes for his Evo desk project. During a discussion with Tom Rodan of Sierra Madre Motorcycles, restoration experts, Tom pointed out that my difficulty with the ’48 Panhead idling could be that the engine won’t let the ignition retard all the way so the idle is erratic. Joe Minton had the same theory but thought it might be the automatic advance. This afternoon I will drop a manual advance distributor back into place and time it for another test ride.

I realize that the world is becoming a hectic place to live in. But if you have a second, stop what you’re doing and think back to the time before telephones, when the only communication was by mail or when someone stopped by. Now we have mail, visitors, FedEx, UPS, fax, e-mail, phones, pagers, television, radio, and the list goes on. However, we still only have two arms and two legs and 24 hours in a day to deal with all this shit. Just remember what truly makes you happy. For me, it’s writing, the touch of a woman and bikes. Make time to do what you love.

–Let’s ride, Bandit

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