BySnake
Continued From Page 3
Here’s a recent photo of Enron’s employees leaving work with all their possessions.
Funeral and the pitbull
A woman was leaving a 7-11 with her morning coffeewhen she noticed a most unusual funeral processionapproaching the nearby cemetery.
A long black hearse was followed by a second longblack hearse about 50 feet behind.
Behind the second hearse was a solitary womanwalking a pit bull dog on a leash. Behind her were200 women walking single file.
The woman couldn’t stand the curiosity.Sherespectfully approached thewoman walking the dog and said, “I am so sorry foryour loss, and I know that now is a bad time todisturb you, but I’ve never seen a funeral likethis. Whose funeral is it?”
The woman replied, “Well that first hearse is formy husband.”She asked, “What happened to him?”The woman replied, “My dog attacked and killed him.”She inquired further, “Well, who is in the secondhearse?”The woman answered, “My mother-in-law. She wastrying to help my husband when the the dog turned onher.”
A poignant and thoughtful moment of silence passesbetween the two women.
“Can I borrow the dog?”
“Get in line.”
IRS
The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is the male penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is hard up, 20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of that, it has two dependents and they are both nuts.
Effective January 1st, 1999, the penis will be taxed according to size.
The brackets are as follows:10 – 12″ Luxury Tax $30.00
Which one would be your tax bracket?
8 – 10″ Pole Tax $25.00
5 – 8″ Privilege Tax $15.00
4 – 5″ Nuisance Tax $3.00
Males exceeding 12″ must file under capital gains.Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.
PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!!!
A FEW INTERESTING THINGS:
After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed six andinjured 1,000; President Clinton promised thatthose responsiblewould be hunted down and punished.
After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed five U.S.military personnel; Clinton promised that those responsiblewould be hunted down and punished.
After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in SaudiArabia, whichkilled 19 and injured 200 U.S. military personnel; Clintonpromised that those responsible would be hunted down andpunished.
After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed224 and injured 5,000; Clinton promised that those responsiblewould be hunted down and punished.
After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, whichkilled 17 andinjured 39 U.S. sailors; Clinton promised that those responsiblewould be hunted down and punished.
Maybe if Clinton had kept his promise, an estimated 7,000 peoplein New York and Washington, D.C. that are now dead would bealive today.
AN INTERESTING QUESTION:
This question was raised on a Philly radio call-in show. Withoutcasting stones, it is a legitimate question.There are two men,both extremely wealthy. One develops relatively cheap softwareand gives billions of dollars to charity. Theother sponsorsterrorism. That being the case, why is it thatthe ClintonAdministration spent more money chasing downBill Gates overthe past eight years than Osama bin Laden?
THINK ABOUT IT!
It is a strange turn of events. Hillary gets$8 Million for herforthcoming memoir. Bill gets about $12 Million for his memoiryet to be written.This from two people who have spent the past 8 years beingunable to recall anything about past events while under oath!INCREDIBLE
GOLD STAR MOTHERS
Gold Star Mothers is an organization made up of women whose sonswere killed in military combat during servicein the UnitedStates armed forces.
Recently a delegation of New York State GoldStar Mothers made atrip to Washington, DC to discuss various concerns with theirelected representatives. According to NewsMax.com there was only onepolitician in DC who refused to meet withthese ladies. Can youguess which politician that might be? Was itNew York SenatorCharles Schumer?Nope, he met with them. Try again. Do you know anyone serving inthe Senate who has ever had anything but contempt for ourmilitary?Do you happen to know the name of any politician in WashingtonWhose husband once wrote of his loathing of the military?Now you’re getting warm! You got it! None other than the Queenherself, Hilary Clinton. She refused repeated requests to meetwith the Gold Star Mothers.
Now — please don’t tell me you’re surprised. This woman wants tobe president of the United States —and there is a huge percentageof the voters who are anxious to help herachieve that.
I?M BACK
After all that talk of beer drinkin?, it reminds me of my thirst. I gotta? find a beer some where around here. That?s the news for today. I?m on a mission to snag some beer. I guess since no one?s around, I can make a draw on the petty cash drawer. Wow, there?s a ten-spot left. I?m outta? here.
Snake?
