Custom Victory at the V-Twin Expo.
I survived Cincy with a case of the Oregon Mung. I can easily report that our industry is in good shape and the aftermarket is smiling. From billet madness to old school relics the manufacturers and creators are grinning from ear to ear. Everybody is making a buck and enjoying the creative freedom. There was even a redhead wandering the crowded isles who had my senses on alert. Just the way her close cropped auburn hair glistened in the lights and her blue eyes batted at me made the concrete floor soften and I glided along the astro turf as if it was a king sized bed.
Check Pablo’s report on the Cincy V-Twin Expo. My congratulations to Jim Betlach who organized the event. Helluva job. Let’s hit the news:
BIKERNET SMART WOMAN AWARD–A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Wisconsin. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife liked to read.
One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and decided to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decided to take the boat out. She motored out a short distance, anchored, and continued to read her book.
Along came a game warden in his boat. He pulled up alongside the woman and said, “Good morning Ma’am. What are you doing?”
“Reading a book,” she replied, (thinking: “isn’t that obvious?”)
“You’re in a restricted fishing area,” he informed her.
“I’m sorry officer, but I’m not fishing, I’m reading.”
“Yes, but you have all the equipment. I’ll have to take you in and write you up.”
“If you do that, I’ll have to charge you with sexual assault,” said the woman.
“But I haven’t even touched you!” said the game warden.
“That’s true, but you have all the equipment.”
MORAL: NEVER ARGUE WITH A WOMAN WHO READS. IT’S LIKELY SHE CAN ALSO THINK!
–Bob T.
HARLEY-DAVIDSON DAYTONA REPORT–This is a special year for Harley-Davidson as we celebrate 100 years ofproducing great motorcycles and making dreams come true. Daytona officiallykicks off the riding season for hundreds of thousands of riders, and we’ll behosting an indoor show in downtown Daytona at the Ocean Center, as well asFactory Demo Rides at Daytona International Speedway all week.
The latest news onour 100th Anniversary activities will be available, and you will be able to preview the indoor showwhich features the recent product offerings from Harley-Davidson and Buell.
THIS SHOULD END ALL 3 BEARS STORIESBaby Bear goes downstairs and sits in his small chair at the table, helooks into his small bowl, andIt is empty. “Who’s been eating my porridge?”, he squeaks.
Papa Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair. He looksinto his big bowl,and it is also empty. “Who’s been eating my porridge?!!,”he roars.
Momma Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from the kitchen andyells,”For Christ’s sake, how many times do we have to go through this withyou idiots? It was Momma Bear who got up first, it was Momma Bear who wokeeveryone in the house, it was Momma Bear who made the coffee, it was Momma Bear who unloaded the dishwasher from last night,andput everything away it was Momma Bear who went out in the cold early morning air tofetch the newspaper, it was Momma Bear who set the damn table, it was Momma Bear who put the friggin cat out, cleaned the litterbox, and filled the cat’s water and food dish,and, now that you’ve decided to drag your sorry bear-asses downstairs,and grace Momma Bear’s kitchen with your grumpy presence, listen good,cause I’m only going to say this one more time.
I HAVEN’T MADE THE FUCKING PORRIDGE YET.”
–from Cindy, at Century Motorcycles in San Pedro, cindy@centurymotorcycles.com
TIN SIGNS CONNECTION–Asheville carries lots of Harley items – everything from signs to scale models.http://www.ashevillediecast.com/dir/search.html?SEARCHSTRING=harley&lowlimit=20&highlimit=39.000000&sh=d
If that link doesn’t work – just do a search for Harley on the site
BIKERNET OLDEST PET JOKE– A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn’t have any feet or legs.
The guy says aloud;”Jeesh. I wonder what happened to this Parrot?”
The parrot says, “I was born this way. I’m a defectiveparrot.””Holy cow,” the guy replies. “You actually understood and answered me!”
“I got every word,”saysthe parrot. “I happen to be a highly intelligent, thoroughly educatedbird.”
“Oh yeah?”, the guy asks, “Then answer this how do you hang onto your perch without any feet?”
“Well,”the parrot says, “this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I wrap mywillie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can’t see it because of my feathers.”
“Wow” says the guy, “y ou really can understand and speak English, can’t you?”
” Actually, Ispeakboth Spanish and English. You really ought to buy me. I’d be a greatcompanion.”
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. “Sorry, but I just can’tafford t hat.”
“Pssssssst” says the parrot, “I’m defective, so the truthis,nobody wants me because I don’t have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make the guy an offer!”
Theguy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by & one day the guy comes home from work and the Parrot goes “Psssssssssssst” and motions him over with one wing. “I don’t knowif I should tell you this or not, but it’s about your wife and the postman.”
“What are you talking about?” asksthe guy .
“When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at thedoorin a sheer black nightie and kissed him passionately.”
“WHAT???” the guy asks incredulously. “THEN what happened?
“Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her nightie and began petting her all over”, reported the parrot.
“My God!” he exclaims. “Then what?”
“Then he lifted up thenightie, got down on his knees and began to lick her all over, starting with herbreasts and slowly going down….”
“WELL???” demands the frantic guy, “THEN WHAT HAPPENED?”
“Damnedif I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch.”
–from Dan McNeil
CYRIL HUZE NEW SPIKEE MIRRORS– Original mirror design by Cyril Huze featuring a bezel with 3 spikes. Glass is enclosed with no risk of falling off because of vibrations. Back of the mirror is a 3-step design. Sold individually with a short stem in Chrome.
Cyril Huze Custom
Motorcycles & Parts
Tel: 561-392-5557
Fax: 561-392-9923
Website: //www.cyrilhuze.com
Webstore: http://store.cyrilhuze.com
ONLINE MOTORCYCLE STORE–MotorcycleUSA?s
We offer a huge selection of top brand gear, apparel, and accessories, and bike-specific products will soon be added to further broaden our appeal. Please contact us at mailto:affiliate@motorcycle-usa.com, affiliate@motorcycle-usa.com or visit http://www.linkshare.com/, www.linkshare.com for further details.
If not a LinkShare merchant, us this URL to join: HOW TO CALL THE POLICE–A True Story From the Meridian, Mississippi Star:George Phillips of Meridian Mississippi was going up to bed when his wifetold him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which shecould see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light but saw that therewere people in the shed stealing things. He phoned the Police, whoasked “Is someone in your house?” and he said “no”. Then they said that all patrols were busy, and that no one was availableat this time, and that he should simply lock his door and an officerwould be along when one became available. George said “Okay,” hung up, counted to 30, and then phoned the Police again. “Hello. I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don’t have to worry about them now cause I’ve just shot them all.” Then he hung up. Within five minutes three police cars, 2 Armed Response units, a Helicopterand an ambulance showed up at the Phillips residence. The police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George: “I thought you said that you’d shot them!” George said, “I thought you said there was nobody available. –from Bob T. Just last week we received a call from our alarm company. They told us that the Los Angeles police department will no longer respond to alarms unless it’s an attack alarm (like mentioned above). The last time our alarm went off I returned to the headquarters a half hour before the police. On top of that it’s illegal to put your alarm horn on the outside of the facility to hopefully draw neighbors. BIKERNET TAKES DELTA TO CINNCINATI– “Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyedgiving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride.” –from RevCarlR BIKERNET DISASTER STUDY–A little political review, time to think &remember … From a Navy man:After the 1993 World Trade Center bombing, which killed 6 and injured1,000 — President Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted downand punished. After the 1995 bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 5 U.S. militarypersonnel– Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down andpunished. After the 1996 Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia, which killed 19 andinjured 200 U.S. military personnel– Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down andpunished. After the 1998 bombing of U.S. embassies in Africa, which killed 224 andinjured 5,000– Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down andpunished. After the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, which killed 17 and injured 39U.S. sailors– Clinton promised that those responsible would be hunted down andpunished. Maybe if Clinton had kept his promise, perhaps many of the 3,000+ peoplewho died in New York City, NY and Washington, DC on 9-11-2001 would bealive today. –Cmdr. Hamilton McWhorter USN(ret) –from Redhorse Continued On Page 2
