January 15, 2004 Part 2

BIKERNET NEWS ALERT–CARIBBEAN REPORT, BIKERNET’S MOST WANTED AND FLOW BENCH CONFESSION

Continued From Page 1

FLOW BENCH CONFESSION– I guilty. I haven’t done a update on my Flowbench for Bikernet.com. I worked on it, just haven’t had a digital camera to use to let you in on the progress. Excuses are like assholes everbodys got one. Just don’t fire me Boss!!

Anyway in the meantime checkout www.tractorsport.com/flowbench. This is a forum on Dyno’s and flowbenches. It covers one like I’m building (orifice plate) & laminar flow/pitot tube type. This website has been a great help to me. There are many mistakes in the original Popular Hot Rodding ’93 flowbench plans. A guy from MSD made the one I’m building that P.H.R. featured. Also check out www.audietech.com. They have plans and gizmos for flow benches.

One thing I gotta say, building flowbench is whole lotta work. Need to think ahead. Try not to paint yourself in a freaking corner. So be advised.

This e-mail might help till I get my shit in one sock and get on the ball.

–Pablo

Just barely–Bandit.

wide tire kit

DYNA WIDE TIRE KIT FROM BIG BOAR–Dyna 250 Fat Tire $2,495.00.Our new Dyna 250 Fat Tire kit allows you to convert your current stock Dyna to a Super Fat 250MM Tire!

big boar banner

BIKERNET SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS–Little Johnny’s kindergarten class was on a field trip to F.B.I. headquarters where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted men.

One of the youngsters pointed to the picture on top and asked if it really was the photo of Osama Bin Laden.

“Yes,” said the agent. “The bureau wants him very badly.”

So Little Johnny asked, “Why the f–k didn’t you keep him when you took his picture?”

ROGUE FILES ON BAD COPS–Personally I do not see why I was sent this from Bad Cop. I think it’s pretty funny.

Cop suspended for e-mailing his balls to ex-wife Indiana – An Indiana police officer is suspended after sending a photo of his genitals to his ex-wife through his department’s e-mail.

Officer Stan Brown, a seven-year member of the Pendleton Police Department, sent the picture last month.

Authorities say someone alerted them through a complaint.The officer admitted to sending the email.

Brown’s serving 30 days of unpaid suspension and will receive a six-month pay reduction and a written reprimand.

Funny Cop: Meet me in Daytona and I will Buy You A Box Of Donuts

–Rogue

bedroll

BANDIT’S BEDROLLS AVAILABLE–They’re ready to ship with shoulder straps, the latest fasteners and new installation instructions we shot the other day. Check out the bedroll strapped to the King. Prices are reduced for 2004. Check the Gulch below to order.

BIKERNET BOYS NIGHT OUT– Frank is sitting in his local bar with his buddies, sharing a beer and bragging about his sex life.Frank says, I have great sex with my wife. She’s very vocal, she can really rattle the windows, and most of it really turns me on. I love it when she screams, ‘Harder!’I love it when she screams, ‘Faster!’ “

“Man, you lucky dog!” Says his one buddy. “But come on and tell the truth, isn’t there sometimes a problem with your sex life?”

“The only problem I have…” Frank said dejectedly, “Is when she screams, ….’Deeper!'”

–from Rogue

BIKERNET BEDSIDE MANNER–A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma forseveral months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day. Oneday, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat byhim, he whispered, eyes full of tears, “You know what? You have been withme all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to supportme. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were bymy side. When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my healthstarted failing, you were still by my side… You know what?”

“Whatdear?”she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

“I think you’re bad luck, get away from me.

–from Dr. Hamster

t. mallory from rogue

BIKERNET MOST WANTED LIST–This is Tom Mallory. Tom was a trusted person in several different M/C agendas, such as ABATE of California and a club in Ventura, California. With ABATE he served as the Treasurer of Local #13 and was the clubhouse manager. It seems that one day he wanted to leave Ventura and, in doing so, stole money from ABATE Local #13’s accounts. He stole money from the General Fund, Toy Run account, as well as the Emergency Fund set up to assist Local #13’s members in a time of need. He then cleaned out the clubhouse funds.

No one knows exactly how much money he has gotten away with, as he managed to destroy all the bank records for the last year, however, initial reports list Local #13’s loss at close to $3,000. He was known to drive a white Ford Ranger with a blue stripe at the bottom. He may also have his bike-a Kawasaki Vulcan with windscreen-on the truck. He was known to visit the Edgewater Hotel and Casino in Laughlin, Nevada, often. As you can see, his arms are heavily tattooed as are both his legs. The most noticeable leg tattoo will be his “Rockabilly” cat.Tom has also used the names: Thomas Mallery; Tomas O’Mallory and Thomas O’Mallery. He has brown hair and blue eyes. He’s 6-foot and, at one time, weighed 245 pounds. His weight has drastically changed as he has a drug problem. When he was last seen he weighed approx. 180 pounds. His D.O.B. is 03-23-61 and his CDL is C2264640. He wears glasses most of the time, both indoors and out and is required to wear them while driving.

Tom plays the guitar and has been know to eek out a living playing in bands at local bars. Although his last known address was in Ventura, he has a father in the San Luis Obispo/Paso Robles area in California. He has made mention of traveling to NY and FL as well.

Tom has been know to attend many M/C related events (Runs, Bike Shows, Tattoo Shows) and many different styles of musical events. He had in his possession over 100 guitars and may be trying to pawn them or place them in a music store that sells equipment on consignment.

Please, if you see him, or have any information on him, give Swede a call at 805-650-6502 or contact Scott McCool, President of ABATE Local #13 805-657-2454.

jose - shop graffiti

BIKERNET CARIBBEAN REPORT– Man I had a friend come over and he was telling me he read the interview that Bandit did on me a few years back. Spooky….most of the things that I said have happened. Yeah call me fucking Nostradamus or whatever; it’s still weird how things have changed so much in such a short time. On the same line, and as you all know, I’m still up to my ears in the new shop. While being bombarded by e-mails from Hawaii on the Discovery gig with the Ness family and the huge waves that hit this week, I could care less for the Build Off cause they will both win no matter what. Meanwhile two brilliant builders, Hank Young and Chica will have to fight it out, leaving one out, which is a shame since they are both our good friends and they would be very interesting on a second round. Not to hit on the Ness camp, but either way one of his bikes will continue to the next round. Although I admire Arlen a lot, his newer bikes are not my style, but I would have enjoyed a lot more the mega master builders versus the small shop kinda deal. Still I would love to be able to go back to Hawaii even for a couple days and God knows I need the fucking rest! I’m glad for the guys in Hawaii for the exposure, but still wondering when the fuck is Discovery going to show his nose down the Caribbean!

The shop is well on the side of being done. We are already planning the party, not an opening, but a customer/friends appreciation kinda deal. One thing I’m sure is that there will be total mayhem. We are even working on a half pipe for the area; I guess kids will be kids. The graffiti is done and since Daytona is around the corner I’m changing my Bob the builder cap and doing some delayed work on the bikes, there will be a cool surprise for Daytona, if I finish on time….

jose - skateboarding

Since not all is work we have managed to take some time off, skate at bit or even do burnouts on little jap bikes right inside the shop. I guess that’s were the idea for the half pipe started.One more thing, any of the people we buy stuff from please get our new address, it’s:

Caribbean Custom Cycles
2 Acacia street Bldg 1
Monterey Industrial Park
San Juan, PR 00920

Please take note, although we will forward our mail, packages and such from UPS and Fed Ex need the new address.

I have lot’s of news but most can’t be told, you know Discovery building stuff, plans for Daytona and the rampant bunch of envious dicks that try to make our lives harder……I just got some photos from one of my web site fans and it’s worth checking it out, www.prbikeweekend.com”>http:// www.prbikeweekend.com if you can see thru the smoke, I mean.

Well that’s about it for now, there’s still many things to do before we can go and have fun. I still am very tempted to split Hawaiian style, I know Femme Nu is waiting.

See ya next week……Caccia la Volpe…if you can.

Jose Caribbean Bikernet report, news , gripes and bitchin’

Continued On Page 3

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