Old shots and memorabilia courtesy of Bob T.
It was going to be a strange night (Saturday night at the Bikernet Headquarters). The day started out sorta macab with a catfight dispute between Lawless and the Blonde. I sat at the table and looked at pretty faces turned evil and wondered what that hell I was doing there.
I stole out to the garage and worked on a brass wheel belt buckle for Layla. Her birthday is coming. I made these belt buckles by hand twenty years ago and since lost my artistic touch. She bitched that my originals were too big. Could I make something small and sedate. I struggled. Did I succeed, you be the judge.
The day was perfect southern California heat wave, and I grappled between handcuffed to the computer, and tinkering in the garage. The night had another agenda. I just completed polishing the brass ornament for a slim waist when I heard the rumble of bikes pulling up outside.
It was crane mechanic, Brad, a member of the ILWU Union and Sifu our martial arts master (that’s what Sifu means in the Philipines). Both ride Panheads exclusively. Sifu is 60 and riding a stretched, suicide clutch, jockey shift, Dick Allen Pan. I don’t know what year? Brad rides a ’62 Pan, stock with highbars and a tank shift. It was time to pull out the dual carbed ’48 and ride.
We hit it right into a dense, late afternoon harbor fog into Margaritaville. The day slipped deeper into the Twilight Zone.
Da Future
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than Alzheimer’s research.
This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections and absolutely no recollection what to do with them.
–from Rogue
Cyril Huze Spikelights
What says more chopper than a spike shape? The style will take you back, but the 2-function filament bulb or strong L.E.D. these lights are housing is hardly yesterday’s news. These lights will turn heads well before you make turns. Three designs: Mini, Hardcore or Visor style. Spikelight Mini (3″ x 1 1/4″) is offered with a 2-function bulb. Spikelight Hardcore (3 1/2″ x 1 1/2″) and Spikelight Visor (4 1/4″ x 1 1/2″) are offered with a 2-function bulb or a strong 2-functon L.E.D. with standard red or amber lens. All lights are high gloss polishing billet aluminum. Optional lens colors in blue or clear. Wiring included.
–Cyril Huze
Tel: 561-392-5557
http://www.cyrilhuze.com>http://www.cyrilhuze.com
Worst Joke Of The Week
A bear walks into a bar in Billings, Montana and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer.
The bartender approaches and says, “We don’t serve beer to bears in bars in Billings.”
The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer.
The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, “We don’t serve beer to belligerent bears in bars in Billings.”
The bear, very angry now, says, “If you don’t serve me a beer, I’m going to eat that lady sitting at the end of the bar.”
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings.”
The bear goes to the end of the bar, and, as promised, eats the woman. He comes back to his seat and again demands a beer.
The bartender states, “Sorry, we don’t serve beer to belligerent, bully bears in bars in Billings who are on drugs.”
The bear says, “I’m NOT on drugs.”
The bartender says, “You are now. That was a barbitchyouate.
New Jockey Shifters
Here’s the latest. A new line of jockey shifters and bizarre pegs from the desert. I call it the town of buried Cadillacs. We’ll let you know when we know more.
–BT
Sunday Stella Award
A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
–from RFR
Dick Hammer Is Gone–
Sad news.Dick Hammer passed away yesterday. I spoke with his good friends Pat Owens and Skip Van Leeuwen, and found out that the service is this Sunday, January 19th. @ 2:00 PM in San Clemente (please verify time w/ church). Attached are some driving directions and an article from the L.A.Times, touching on just a few of his many races. Godspeed Dick…
Steve O.
Services are at:
San Clemente Presbyterian
119 Avenida De La Estrella
San Clemente, CA
949-492-6158
Directions: Take I-5 South Take the AVE PALIZADA exit towards SAN CLEMENTE. Turn RIGHT onto E AVENIDA PALIZADA. Turn LEFT onto N EL CAMINO REAL. Turn LEFT onto AVENIDA CABRILLO. Turn RIGHT onto N AVENIDA DE LA ESTRELLA.
Shav Glick from the L.A. Times writes: Dick Hammer, 64, one of motorcycling’s finest road racers, died Thursday of cancer at his home in San Clemente. He won the 250cc Lightweight Grand Prix at Daytona, Fla., in 1963 and 1964 and came from last to lead the 1964 Daytona 200 before his engine expired late in the race.
Site Devoted To Selling Bikes
You gotta check this site out.http://www.elvisplace.com/
Iron Works magazine presents the 12th annual Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show
The Biggest Custom & Performance Streetbike Show in America Adds Vintage Bikes, A Charity Ride, and a National Super Motard Race for 2003 July 19-20th at the Queen Mary Event Park in Long Beach
The Los Angeles Calendar Motorcycle Show weekend at the Queen Mary Event Park, Long Beach, CA, returns again this year for its 12th annual extravaganza on the edge of the beautiful Pacific Ocean overlooking Long Beach Harbor. Sponsored by Iron Works magazine, Performance Machine, Corona Beer, BikerNet.com,The Recycler/Cycle Buys, AutoTrader.com Publications, and the FastDates.com Motorcycle Pinup Calendars, featured on the Speed Channel’s American Thunder, and benefiting Olive Crest Children’s Homes, The LA Calendar Motorcycle Show has continued to grow every year to become the biggest and most popular streetbike show in America catering to the custom, cruiser and sportbike markets. Always the 3rd weekend of July, the 12th Annual Show is scheduled for Saturday July 19th and Sunday July 20th, 2003.
There will be a lot of exciting new activities this year including a National Championship SuperMotard Race in the parking lot of the Queen Mary, featuring Pro caliber racers banging handlebars on modified motocross bikes with roadracing tires.
Spectators not able to join the ride can still donate money to the Olive Crest Shelter by purchasing raffle prize tickets at the Show or making a donation at the Olive Crest display at the Show. Complete details are available on the FastDates.com and OliveCrest.org websites.
Eye Problems
Man visits his optician and says “Doctor, I’m having difficult y seeing distant objects”.
The optician opens the curtains and points into the sky. “What’s that”?
The man walks over, looks up and says “It’s the Sun”.
The optician says “How far do you want to see”?
–from CARLR
BUELL ROADRACING SUPPORT PROGRAM ANNOUNCED
$61,000 F-USA Thunderbike Contingency Program Announced
MILWAUKEE, WI (January 16, 2003) – Buell Motorcycle Company recently announced its roadracing support program for 2003, with $61,000 in contingency paid back to 15th place for racers aboard Buell motorcycles in the eight-round national Formula USA Thunderbike class, including $5,000 for the series champion, if aboard a Buell for the entire series.
?This is a lucrative support program for our customers and dealers which gives them the opportunity to compete at a national level in roadracing. We?re proud to support their efforts,? said Erik Buell, Chairman and Chief Technical Officer of Buell Motorcycle Company.
The Formula USA Thunderbike class, which pits Buell racers against single-cylinder, twin-cylinder, triple-cylinder and four-cylinder motorcycles from many other manufacturers, will be a featured event at all eight Formula USA National Road Race Series rounds. The events will be held at Daytona International Speedway on March 2; Mid-America Motorplex on May 25; New Hampshire International Speedway on June 15; TBA on July 20; Virginia International Raceway July 28; Road America on August 10; Summit Point Raceway on September 8; and the Daytona finale on October 20. Buell?s Henry Duga and the Buell Racing Support Van will be present at each F-USA National event to provide assistance to Buell racers.
Defending Formula USA Thunderbike class champion Jeff Johnson of Hoban Brothers/Appleton Buell will compete in the series, along with Formula USA Buell Lightning Series champion Bryan Bemisderfer of Harding H-D/Buell and many other Buell racers. The Buell Lightning Series, a horsepower and weight restricted spec class, will go on hiatus in 2003.
How to raise funding for next war.
Moses In The Airport
Recently while going through an airport during one of his many trips, President Bush encountered a man with long hair, wearing a white robe and sandals, holding a staff.
President Bush went up to the man and said, “Aren’t you Moses?” The man never answered but just kept staring ahead.
Again the President said, “Moses!” in a loud voice.
The man just kept staring ahead, never answering the president.
Soon a secret service agent came along and President Bush grabbed him and said, “Doesn’t this man look like Moses to you?”
The secret service agent agreed with the President.
“Well,” said the President, Every time I say his name, he just keeps staring ahead and refuses to speak.
Watch!” Again, the President yelled, “Moses!” and again the man stared ahead.
The secret service man went up to the man in the white robe and whispered, “You look just like Moses. Are you Moses?”
The man leaned over and whispered, “Yes, I am Moses.
But the last time I talked to a bush, I spent 40 years wandering in the desert!”
–from CARLR
The Voice Of 2003
I received two e-mails in one day like the two you’re about to read. Just goes to show that life is too harried and crambed with bullshit. Let me know your thoughts.–Bandit
No vacation here. Just work. Been busy. Seems I have no time for anything lately. I leave the desert at 3:30 AM at work by 5:30 AM, doing 75 to 85 all the way. It was a strange day, I was sitting in my truck going over paper work waiting for one of my sub-contractors and up walked two guys looking for work. They hitchhiked from Florida tiring to get to Santa Cruz, and that were broke. One was a Vietnam Vet so I gave them 20 bucks and told them to get something to eat, they looked like they walked from Florida. They had backpacks on, packed with their tools. Getting crazy out there on the streets.
I thought I finished the day when the cell phone rang. Back at the job site I was needed, and of course I was already on the freeway haulin ass back to the desert. I turned around an took care of the idiots in the field. Then I went back to the freeway again, and the traffic was backed up. All you can do is go with the flow.
Finally made back to the desert, picked up my sunglass from the doctor and they were wrong for the second time. I raised hell. Still not home, stopped and got gas.
Behind me was a old Pan Chopper, a real scoot from the past. Faded Gray in color, jockey shift with the old glass door knob,a dull chrome stock H-D springer, saddle bags, packs, blankets, everything but the kitchen sink. Out comes the owner he looked like the bike. Both been around the world together. Had to ask him where he was going? The answer was “nowhere”. He’s been on the road for 6 years.
After a day like today I am ready to join him………………………………..
–BT
It’s been nuts but I been posting Readers Rides. trying to get my tax stuff straightened out, getting bikes ready for shows, dog deflea-ed, got my once a year pain in butt customer trying to rip me off. some 19 million people want quotes. Some famous dirt bike rider wants me to paint his helmet for future royalties from Arie helmet company. I’m chasing assholes for $$, trying to lose 5 lbs off my 43 yr old butt for Bike Week. In short, it’s a fricking zoo.
I’ll figured out the latest Ride you’ve just sent, and I’ll get it posted. It’s the eaiest thing I do.
Speaking of overload, what’s up with the Tahiti trip?
–CH
Can you relate? Life is bananas. The Tahiti trip has been postponed until November, but we need to find a way to slow the pace down in the meantime.
Gun Advice
[Hickory Daily Record]: Ken Charles Barger, 47, accidentally shot himself to death in Newton, NC. Awakening to the sound of a ringing telephone beside his bed, he reached for the phone but grabbed a Smith & Wesson 38 Special, which discharged when he put it to his ear.
–from Miss Kriss
P e p t o b i m b o
Liquid silicone for single women. Two full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.
–from Princess Gypsy
That’s all I’ll admit to–We sat on the edge of the harbor at a sprawling Mexican Restaurant, which I use as the basis for Bandit’s Cantina from time to time. The fog engulfed the main channel like flat black spray paint over rust. The goddamn harbor disappeared right before our eyes. As we shot-the-shit about how ridiculous I looked riding my dinky ’48 Pan, fog horns blared at us from the mist. Hell, I was considering riding it to Sturgis. Now I was going to be forced to ride something else or build something else. Install highbars on the sucker. I don’t know.
The murky mist was strengthened by the dwindling sunlight as a ghost ship passed. We couldn’t see it except that it extinguished the dwindling lights barely visible on the other side of the channel. A chill ran up my spine as I thought about the evening ahead, the women, the Pussy Cat party. I’ll fill you in next week.
Enjoy the playoffs. If not go for a ride, if weather permits. If not stay in the bedroom with her.
–Bandit
